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The W - Pro Wrestling - NOW WITH 35% MORE ASS!!
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Ringmistress
Lap cheong








Since: 15.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 2583 days
Last activity: 2583 days
#1 Posted on
I don't know about you, but I have to admit, that the best part of RAW for me wasn't HHH Appreciation Night (shocker, huh?), but CHRISTIAN, Booker T and GOLDY CLAUS~! I'm sorry to say, that I laughed my ass off at the "Sack" comment, then Christian figuring out what the hell Booker said to him, then Goldy's present to Christian, then Christian trying to sneak off with the ass cream. God, I haven't laughed that hard since the 37 second pose! We all know that the true MVPs of RAW are Booker T and Goldust, but let's not forget that CHRISTIAN~! should get the props too! Any comments on the best segment of RAW this side of Milkamania?

Ringmistress



How DARE you mistake my humility for markdom?!
Promote this thread!
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3285 days
Last activity: 3285 days
#2 Posted on
Christian: Oh, that's real funny! "New and Improved Ass Cream"?!

Goldust: "Now With 35% Moooorre Asssss!"

What the hell is Ass Cream, and how can you fit any amount of ass in there?!





Kurt Angle Supports Chris Benoit, You Should Too!

mountinman44
Sujuk








Since: 8.5.02
From: San Diego, CA

Since last post: 1160 days
Last activity: 1006 days
Y!:
#3 Posted on

    Originally posted by Ringmistress
    I don't know about you, but I have to admit, that the best part of RAW for me wasn't HHH Appreciation Night (shocker, huh?), but CHRISTIAN, Booker T and GOLDY CLAUS~! I'm sorry to say, that I laughed my ass off at the "Sack" comment, then Christian figuring out what the hell Booker said to him, then Goldy's present to Christian, then Christian trying to sneak off with the ass cream. God, I haven't laughed that hard since the 37 second pose! We all know that the true MVPs of RAW are Booker T and Goldust, but let's not forget that CHRISTIAN~! should get the props too! Any comments on the best segment of RAW this side of Milkamania?

    Ringmistress



I was laughing big time. The end was classic. "I don't use ass cream!"



"Ensign Kodos, set coordinates for the obscure, T-shirt producing planet of Earth. We are going to visit... MY DAUGHTER!" -- Kang
Ringmistress
Lap cheong








Since: 15.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 2583 days
Last activity: 2583 days
#4 Posted on
Well, by my estimation, since I'm a woman, I'm thinking that the ass cream is more like cold cream, but for the ass. It helps the ass look smoother, more youthful looking without the appearance of lines or blemishes. I think the larger jar was for the more full figured asses (like Rikishi and Big Show). That's all I can think of, and besides that, what else can you do with that much cream, I ask you?

Ringmistress



How DARE you mistake my humility for markdom?!
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#5 Posted on

    Originally posted by The Great Thomas
    What the hell is Ass Cream, and how can you fit any amount of ass in there?!


I don't know which is funnier, the joke or the dozen or so people on this board who are overanalyzing it.
The Great Thomas
Sujuk








Since: 17.6.02
From: Miami, Florida

Since last post: 3285 days
Last activity: 3285 days
#6 Posted on

    Originally posted by Ringmistress
    Well, It helps the ass look smoother, more youthful looking without the appearance of lines or blemishes
Well, it doesn't work for Rikishi, lemme tell ya.





Kurt Angle Supports Chris Benoit, You Should Too!

Ringmistress
Lap cheong








Since: 15.1.02
From: Philly

Since last post: 2583 days
Last activity: 2583 days
#7 Posted on

    Originally posted by InVerse

      Originally posted by The Great Thomas
      What the hell is Ass Cream, and how can you fit any amount of ass in there?!


    I don't know which is funnier, the joke or the dozen or so people on this board who are overanalyzing it.



I don't know about the others but this is the first time I actually pondered asscream.

Ringmistress



How DARE you mistake my humility for markdom?!
Dagent913
Bockwurst








Since: 18.11.02
From: Strong Island

Since last post: 3581 days
Last activity: 3111 days
AIM:  
#8 Posted on
This segment was great, and it made me stand up and take notice of something: How many voices does Goldust have anyway? I mean, he's got his Goldust voice, his Dustin Runnels voice that he used on Raw last week when he tried to pull out of the tag team championship match, his Jonathan Coachman voice from earlier in the year, his Santa voice was pretty good, and the best one, his ad man voice when he hit that "Now with 35% more ass!" line. The man's hilarious!

I gotta tell you, of the four wrestlers who returned at the Royal Rumble, I did not think that Goldust would have the greatest impact. Good to see, because I was always a big fan of Goldust, I just didn't think he could succeed in the Fed anymore.



What if your grandfather was a kazoo?
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 388 days
Last activity: 388 days
#9 Posted on

    Originally posted by Dagent913
    This segment was great, and it made me stand up and take notice of something: How many voices does Goldust have anyway? I mean, he's got his Goldust voice, his Dustin Runnels voice that he used on Raw last week when he tried to pull out of the tag team championship match, his Jonathan Coachman voice from earlier in the year, his Santa voice was pretty good, and the best one, his ad man voice when he hit that "Now with 35% more ass!" line. The man's hilarious!

    I gotta tell you, of the four wrestlers who returned at the Royal Rumble, I did not think that Goldust would have the greatest impact. Good to see, because I was always a big fan of Goldust, I just didn't think he could succeed in the Fed anymore.






And just think, how close did Dustin come to getting fired in the 'Airplane' mess when he started singing love songs to Terri? From that point on, he has gone from Heat fodder to one of the top guys on RAW. And remember, Booker's face turn might not have been as successful without the goofball Goldust to play off of.



I want you to know, I agree with everything I've just said.
krakken2000
Kishke








Since: 31.10.02
From: seattle

Since last post: 1909 days
Last activity: 1636 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.36
I've always thought Dustin had great vocal chops. I'm glad he has stepped up his ring work as well. And to think I thought Dustin was washed up for good back in 1998.



Oh flaming box of stuff, is there no problem you can't solve?
Hogan's My Dad
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 9 hours
Last activity: 9 hours
#11 Posted on
The funniest thing I've ever seen is wrestling is the Vince/Austin/Angle backstage vignettes. There was practically no wrestling on these shows, because Angle and Austin were both injured...but b/n the singing and the small hats and the homoerotic man-hugging, and the homoerotic jealousy leading to more homoerotic man-hugging, I literally had severe abdominal pain from my laughter.



Best Quote from Dec. 8 Smackdown recap:
"Um, yeah. So you’re telling me all Torrie had to do to save us this crappy TV is please the cheese? Christ…If that’s all it took - I’d eat out LINDA McMAHON to save myself this garbage TV - Hell I’d toss Vince’s salad after a visit from Pat Patterson - uh - maybe not."
RKMtwin
Boudin rouge








Since: 1.3.02
From: Denver, Colorado

Since last post: 2092 days
Last activity: 1535 days
#12 Posted on
Austin singing to McMahon was hilarious. And I could NEVER forget Austin Appreciation Night!

I think the whole Ass Cream thing is good, silly humor, too. I mean, tho whole premise of it is just cringeworthy, plus the fact that Christian's denial of his Ass Cream usage makes it SO obvious that he doesn't leave home without it!!

Having a heel's credibility as a bad-ass or pretty boy swept right out from under him can lend to some hearty guffaws, like when Lance Storm got de-bagged by Edge in late 2001 only to reveal Storm's FunPals! It's stuff like that that's totally in contrast to the character and that very essence of violating our expectations of a certain wrestler that makes things like Ass Cream funny.

But RIKISHI and Ass Cream? UugGGhhgH... LORD NO! The visual of that... someone get me a railroad spike to jab out my eyes and pierce my brain... PLEEEEEEEAASSSE!!!!!!!!!!!

And hey! How can Jericho escape from this whole thing unscathed? Was that first jar Christian's-- or Y2J's ?!
(incidental soap opera organ music plays...) :)



David Crockett sez it best, folks: "Look at 'im, Tony! Look at 'im!"
StampedeFan23
Morcilla








Since: 12.1.02
From: BC, Canada

Since last post: 1961 days
Last activity: 1497 days
#13 Posted on

    Originally posted by Hogan's My Dad
    The funniest thing I've ever seen is wrestling is the Vince/Austin/Angle backstage vignettes. There was practically no wrestling on these shows, because Angle and Austin were both injured...but b/n the singing and the small hats and the homoerotic man-hugging, and the homoerotic jealousy leading to more homoerotic man-hugging, I literally had severe abdominal pain from my laughter.


I loved this angle too. Every time Angle would come in with that tiny cowboy hat on his head, I'd start to tear up. Didn't someone use that as an avatar here for a while?



Are you ready for Mahkan-mania to run wild all over you?
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#14 Posted on

    Originally posted by RKMtwin
    And hey! How can Jericho escape from this whole thing unscathed? Was that first jar Christian's-- or Y2J's ?!


Maybe Christian was sneaking off with the bottle in hopes that Jericho wouldn't notice, thus making Christian's Christmas shopping easier?
Net Hack Slasher
Banger








Since: 6.1.02
From: Outer reaches of your mind

Since last post: 3498 days
Last activity: 1918 days
#15 Posted on
I'm actually loving the reaction from this board to it. Because once in a while we have someone coming in here branding every wiener as a smark who can't allow him/herself to have fun at dumb stuff. This really came out with the negative reaction on here during the HHHumping the doll Raw. Lawler gave a message on his website for everyone to "lighten up it's just a joke" and a few people said that on here as well. And if you found HHHumping funny, hey that's your prerogative and thats fine (I guess, lol). But like I said in the first sentence, I think that skit shows that this board atleast is not all about ultra-serious wrestling fans and could still enjoy something as totally dumb as "Now with 35% MOOORE ASSS"

Jeeers to WWE.com for not putting the Raw Video clips up yet, this HAS to be one of them when/if they put it up.



(edited by Net Hack Slasher on 19.12.02 1605)


Oh they have the internet on computers now!
The Goon
Boudin blanc
Moderator








Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 9 hours
#16 Posted on
You just know WWE is going to have Ass Cream in their Shopzone soon enough.

Hopefully the larger cans will be at Costco.
The Sham
Kolbasz








Since: 20.1.02
From: Hamden, CT

Since last post: 1633 days
Last activity: 986 days
#17 Posted on
I want Christian and Test to start a fued over the merits of Ass Cream versus Bod.

(Would the Testicles really laern to hate Ass Cream, though?)

I don't know what that means.



"Cram it with walnuts, ugly!"- Mr. Homer Simpson
Spiraling_Shape
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 2 hours
#18 Posted on
Didn't someone use that as an avatar here for a while?

I`m pretty sure I did, as well as at least one or two other people.



Wiener of the Day - 9/9/02
Markme123
Polska kielbasa








Since: 7.1.02
From: San Jose, Cali

Since last post: 3635 days
Last activity: 3344 days
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#19 Posted on
Last night on Conan, there was a whole skit on how NBC was cutting back cost because of the bad economy. Anyways, one of the cost-cutting measures was firing Preparation H Raymond. They replaced him with Walgreens Hemorrhoids Ointment Harry. Anyway, during the sketch they referred the product as "ass cream". Maybe Christian a generic tube version of the stuff.



"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like that time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville; I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickle, and in those days, nickles had pictures of bumblebees on them. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war; the only thing you can get was those big yellow ones..." -Abe Simpson
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That's just be ripping off the nWo B-Team :)
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