Oh, admit it. The profiles of the built-in backyard wrestlers are going to be hysterical to read...
NAME: Jimmy "l33t skillz" Smith HEIGHT: 5'5" WEIGHT: 130 lbs AGE: 13 FROM: Sandusky, Ohio FINISHER: Flaming Barbed-Wire Cockpunch Off His Mom's Roof QUOTE: "Don't worry, I saw this on 'Jackass' last week." CAREER HIGHLIGHTS: * Gave Bobby "Home Dawg" Wilson a swirlie at the local mall to win the XXXTreme Backyard Hardcore Wrestling title in October
* 4-time winner of the "Gee, Mom, I Just Slipped And Fell While Taking Out The Trash, So Please Take Me To The Hospital To Remove These Glass Shards From My Abdominal Cavity" Creativity Award
NAME: Rick "Trogdor the Burninator" Mason HEIGHT: 5'7" WEIGHT: 140 lbs AGE: 14 FROM: Two houses down from Jimmy FINISHER: Wiffle-Ball Bat To The Family Jewels From The Top Of A Ladder QUOTE: "i told u i was hardcore" CAREER HIGHLIGHTS:
* Broke three ribs jumping off a dumpster behind the local Safeway onto Mike "Hardcore Danger Master" Burns, got the three count, explained it to his mom as a skateboarding injury
And so on.
"Ah, the old exploding-beartrap-in-the-ass trick." -- Goemon Ishikawa
I looked at the screenshots of this title on a couple of sites last night.
Uh, I don't know about you, but that ain't _my_ back yard -- it looks more like the Vercetti Mansion from Vice City. One screenshot even had a butler in the background.
If you're gonna do this, do it right -- put it in the suburbs, make the props flimsy as hell, and have Old Lady Berkowitz down the street scream her head off whenever a "hardcore" brawl spills onto her lawn. Have matches end now and then with a wrestler's mom showing up, grabbing her kid by the ear, throwing him in her car and driving off. ;)
"...Also, living in NYC, to stop any terrorists from braking into my home I've crammed pickles in the gap between the front door and the floor - try and brake past my juicy green wall of defense." -- commenter on FARK