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30.8.14 1942
The W - Random - New Religion?
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DarkRenegade
Bockwurst








Since: 19.5.02
From: YOUR MOTHER!

Since last post: 2698 days
Last activity: 459 days
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.32
Renegade Raine says:


www.churchofspongebob.org

Some people just have WAY too much time on their hands...

From the front page...



"Are you in a joyless, faithless void?

Have you rummaged through the spiritual offerings of a planet that is so morally bankrupt, little seems good? Honest? Reliable?

Have you battered your way through churches that make you feel guilty? Offer little for introspection or personal edification beyond "worship?" Attract followers by hating others?

You may be like Squidward.

Are you ready for something new and better? Something honest, earnest and fun? Something that can make you feel good without making you feel bad?

Perhaps you have never considered going underwater to find a belief system worth investing in...you probably never, in your wildest dreams, thought that the secrets to living a happy, contented and fulfilling life could come from a tiny animated sponge.

Well, we're The Church of SpongeBob Squarepants and we bring to you, today, Good News!

FINALLY...


A Church that finds joy in the little things in life, and isn't afraid to say so.
A Church that offers complexity for the complex, and simplicity for the simple. You can even mix the two up if you want.
A Church that doesn't want your money and only wants you to be happy.
A Church that presents it's precepts and spiritual instruction in an easily accessible format.
A Church you can enjoy in your own home - no special building to go to.
A Church that realizes that simple things, like having fun, using your imagination, and enjoying what you do, are important in life.
A Church that doesn't attract people by hating or excluding a certain type of person.
A Church that is ready eddy eddy to have you as a member!"



It even has "Scripture" and discusses rituals. Some person must have been extra bored...

(edited by DarkRenegade on 6.3.04 0135)



"That party looks awesome! I mean, they have BEES coming out of their cans!"
-My sister on the Eddie Guerrero YJ Stinger commercial.

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Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 45 min.
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
If there was one thing that can make me denounce Christianity, it would be worshipping at the throne of Patrick.

I do have a little problem with my god being voiced by Tom Kenny. He's not exactly Jesus, you know.



In 9 days, you will see the return of the Undertaker, the Dead Man that most of us have been clamoring for for years.

Also in 9 days, you will see most of us complain about the return of the Dead Man, the Dead Man that most of us have been clamoring for for years.

Damned (straight to Hell) if you do, damned (straight to Hell) if you don't.
Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.23
    Originally posted by DarkRenegade
    www.churchofspongebob.org


    A Church that presents it's precepts and spiritual instruction in an easily accessible format.





Any religion that can't tell the difference between "it's" and "its" isn't for me.

Perhaps someone will open a nice Temple Of Dora The Explorer or something.
Dagent913
Bockwurst








Since: 18.11.02
From: Strong Island

Since last post: 3619 days
Last activity: 3149 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15
My nephew pretty much worhips The Wiggles, and he seems pretty happy. Maybe he's onto something there....

As for Tom Kenny, his role as the narrator in The PowerPuff Girls is rather god-like, don't you think? Sure, he can't exactly be described as "all-knowing," but he certainly sees everything.



"Moistening your dreams with man-urine."
J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 28 days
Last activity: 1 day
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Y!:
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.56
X-E's co-Worst Poster of all time! JKyle.com says:

    Originally posted by Dagent913
    My nephew pretty much worhips The Wiggles, and he seems pretty happy. Maybe he's onto something there....

    As for Tom Kenny, his role as the narrator in The PowerPuff Girls is rather god-like, don't you think? Sure, he can't exactly be described as "all-knowing," but he certainly sees everything.
I'd never worship Tom Kenny. It's ridiculous, pagan, and just plain wrong.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish building my shrine to Crispin Freeman.



Cast in the Name of God
Ye Not Guilty

(I SWEAR THAT FLCL PICTURE'S LINK WORKS NOW!)
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