Some people just have WAY too much time on their hands...
From the front page...
"Are you in a joyless, faithless void?
Have you rummaged through the spiritual offerings of a planet that is so morally bankrupt, little seems good? Honest? Reliable?
Have you battered your way through churches that make you feel guilty? Offer little for introspection or personal edification beyond "worship?" Attract followers by hating others?
You may be like Squidward.
Are you ready for something new and better? Something honest, earnest and fun? Something that can make you feel good without making you feel bad?
Perhaps you have never considered going underwater to find a belief system worth investing in...you probably never, in your wildest dreams, thought that the secrets to living a happy, contented and fulfilling life could come from a tiny animated sponge.
Well, we're The Church of SpongeBob Squarepants and we bring to you, today, Good News!
A Church that finds joy in the little things in life, and isn't afraid to say so. A Church that offers complexity for the complex, and simplicity for the simple. You can even mix the two up if you want. A Church that doesn't want your money and only wants you to be happy. A Church that presents it's precepts and spiritual instruction in an easily accessible format. A Church you can enjoy in your own home - no special building to go to. A Church that realizes that simple things, like having fun, using your imagination, and enjoying what you do, are important in life. A Church that doesn't attract people by hating or excluding a certain type of person. A Church that is ready eddy eddy to have you as a member!"
It even has "Scripture" and discusses rituals. Some person must have been extra bored...
(edited by DarkRenegade on 6.3.04 0135)
"That party looks awesome! I mean, they have BEES coming out of their cans!" -My sister on the Eddie Guerrero YJ Stinger commercial.
Need a bit of help from the other Wieners. I once read that most newspapers are written at a 5th grade level. Can anyone confirm/deny this statement? If so, is there any documentation out there? (I couldn't find anything on Google) Thanks!