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Gugs
Bierwurst








Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

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#1 Posted on
The following post expresses the opinions of a raving Jerichoholic. He is biased, opinionated and bitter. You have been warned.

Let's hope this works.

EDIT: Damn.

(edited by gugs on 8.7.03 1756)


The preceding post expressed the opinions of a raving Jerichoholic. He was biased, opinionated and bitter. You were warned.

87 and counting!
Promote this thread!
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 2 days
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#2 Posted on
Try this URL, yo.

http://community.webshots.com/s/image3/9/34/58/21893458jikNEOmNPB_ph.jpg



Gugs
Bierwurst








Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 8 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#3 Posted on
The following post expresses the opinions of a raving Jerichoholic. He is biased, opinionated and bitter. You have been warned.

Thanks for the help, I guess. Webshots is officially evil.


EDIT: Well, here goes nothing.

(edited by gugs on 11.7.03 0245)

The preceding post expressed the opinions of a raving Jerichoholic. He was biased, opinionated and bitter. You were warned.

Desperately seeking help with new avatar! Suggestions welcome! PM me!
Jay Bower
Cotechino








Since: 28.2.02

Since last post: 3849 days
Last activity: 3838 days
#4 Posted on
Two months ago, a challenge was issued at 411Mania to find the next columnist to join the greatest wrestling opinion staff ever compiled. After fighting through a field of 500 other entrants, Chris Sharp and Shane Harrison remain. With a total of almost ten thousand votes cast during the elimination rounds of RantWars as well as controversial guest appearances by the legends of 411Mania, this is what the hard work, the tedious vote counting and the RantWars graveyard have blazed the trail for. Welcome to the RantWars Finals!


RANTWARSFINALS




Hey there and welcome to the RantWars Finals! My name is Jay Bower and one last time I'll be your host for the most ambitious columnist search of all time. In moments, we will witness the culmination of ten weeks of RantWars competition. Having survived elimination seven times, Chris Sharp and Shane Harrison remain, and both will settle for nothing less than a victory and the chance to move ahead to the final challenge, a tryout column at 411Mania next week in which 411 readers will vote the winner in to the 411Mania family or send them packing after two months of hard work. Love them or hate them, YOU voted Chris and Shane in to the final round of competition and as always, vote wisely, this is YOUR site.

RantWars columns will be posted in the order in which they were submitted and you will cast one vote of elimination for the writer who you believe should not advance. Chris Sharp was first with his column this week, and you'll find yourself shocked by what he had to say. Without further delay, let the RantWars Finals begin!





Realization


By Chris Sharp



While writing these past half a dozen columns, Iíve realised something about myself. Iím not the wrestling fan I used to be. For a while I thought my growing disenchantment with wrestling was mostly due to the fact that I donít have easy access to RAW & Smackdown, and that I have to download PPV matches days or weeks after theyíve happened. I thought the time lag was distancing me from this thing that I loved. I stayed in touch with what was happening through the internet, mostly through 411. But writing these columns it has become clear that what I loved about wrestling has all but vanished, and that what has taken its place just leaves me cold. Iíve spent the last few weeks trying to work out exactly what has caused me to fall out of love with wrestling. I finally figured it out. The rot started in Montreal.


Iíve been a wrestling fan since I was a small child. I watched British wrestling on Saturday afternoons, and loved to watch Big Daddy, Giant Haystacks, and most of all Johnny Saint. David Murphy talks about the Saint here. Occasionally during these broadcasts theyíd show clips from the WWF. The most astounding thing to me at that time was the clothesline. It was never used in British wrestling, in fact I think it was banned. So when I saw Hogan mow someone down with a lariat, I was stunned. It was just too brutal. I was ten. A couple of years later I was at my uncles house. He had cable years before it became popular over here, and to keep me quiet they handed me the remote control. Somehow I found my way to a channel showing WrestleMania 6. Iíd heard friends at school talking about the Warrior and the Hulkster, and allying themselves with one or the other. They were talking about it as if it was the most significant match that could ever take place. I just wanted to see that vicious clothesline again. Good choice of match if you all want to see is clotheslines, I guess. I kept so quiet during that match that my dad got satellite TV a couple of weeks later, and from then on I was hooked on WWF Superstars and WWF Challenge.

I was a fan of Jim Neidhart's cackle and Jake Roberts and the DDT. Bobby Heenan became my comedy god. I loved the bizarre backgrounds behind each wrestler when they gave their promos. But most of all I marked out for Bret Hart. Then at Survivor Series that year, my fandom was elevated to another level. The arrival of the Undertaker. His size and his stare chilled me to the bone. The crowd didnít know how to react to the man in black. Only Bret seemed unfazed.

Soon after that Bret began his singles career. From the start I knew, in a way only a true mark can know, that heíd be WWF Champion one day. The first major match I can remember Bret having was against Mr. Perfect. Iíd watched Curt Hennig beat everyone put in front of him, and been convinced by his Perfect vignettes that he was the most technically gifted wrestler in the company. I almost died from excitement when Bret won. And from then until now, Iíve been a diehard wrestling fan.

But now I can barely bring myself to care anymore. As I said, I think my disenchantment started at Montreal, in 1997 with the screw-job. It wasnít because of the way my wrestling hero was treated, although that left me sore for months. It was because that night was effectively the start of the dominance of WWF TV by the McMahon family.

In his excellent Lazarus rant, Scott Keith chronicles how the Montreal Screw-job saved the WWF from being pummelled in the ratings war. He pretty much hits the nail on the head in that rant Ė the Stone Cold / McMahon feud was the most electric Iíve ever seen, and made me still watch even after Bret had left. The rise of HHH and the Rock kept me watching. The arrivals of Benoit, Guerrero and Kurt Angle made me think we were entering a golden age for wrestling. But with the strongest, deepest talent roster in wrestling history, the McMahon family still think Sports Entertainment is the way to go.

Iíve always watched wrestling for the wrestling, with the promos and storylines being either a bonus if they were good, or the stuff I have to wade through to get to the work-rate if they were bad. But no amount of Angle, Guerrero & Benoit can make up for having to watch Vince and Stephanie every week. Itís not that I donít care what happens in any feud involving a McMahon Ė the McMahon family match at WMX7 was fabulous. Itís that their omnipresence is a continual reminder to me of what wrestling used to be. The brief reign of Paul Heyman on Smackdown rekindled my fire for a while, but since his demotion I just canít see any way of things getting better.


The simple truth is that I just donít care what happens anymore. There hasnít been a feud that really grabbed me by the throat for three years now. And during that time there have been a dozen things that have made me switch off the show is disgust. Itís not my moral sense thatís being impugned. Necrophilia really doesnít bother me that way, I mean, whatever turns you on, you know. Itís just these past few years wrestling has been everything all my friends have always said it was. Big, dumb, stupid, overblown, badly acted bullshit.


Almost every column Iíve written for RantWars has been about ways I can imagine the WWE improving. Iíve written about confronting the McMahon family with their failure to run their business well. I argued the case for redemption coming through Vince creating his own competition. Iíve dreamed of the WWE using the US title to create a haven of wrestling amongst the necrophilia, nationalism and nostalgia. Iíve wanted Vince to give a wrestler the push they deserved, regardless of whether or not theyíve headlined another promotion or not. Even as I wrote them I knew none of these things will happen.


This past week, the WWE failed to sell out Madison Square Garden for the first time in living memory. Maybe Vince will blame it on a depressed economy or SARS. But do you think heíll ever consider blaming himself and the direction heís taken the WWE? Me neither.


I wish I could have written something better this week. Iíve enjoyed doing these columns. Theyíve made me realize exactly what I love about wrestling; that it doesnít exist anymore in the WWE, and probably wonít again. I canít love Sports Entertainment. I canít call myself a fan anymore. These columns have been the swansong to my love affair with wrestling.

Send Chris Feedback







Challenger

By Shane Harrison



We havenít had a good war in a while and, as strange as this may sound, it may be beneficial to all. George Bush knows it, you know it and even Vince McMahon knows it. I never thought I would see the day when Linda McMahon talks about a need for competition during a conference but here we are. We havenít had a good old war since the infamous Monday Night Wars and there hasnít even been two sides since 2001. Previously, there have been many companies vying for the top spot but now we have a monopoly of the last federation standing, the WWE. The WWE has survived through it all and stand on top of the mountain, uncontested, and the business has rarely seen a worse state. Vince McMahon and his company have survived by death or success and by a ruthless dedication to be number one. The WWE gnawed on the bones of his deceased competition, which they had heartlessly and ruthlessly drove them out of competition. Now, in 2003, Mr. McMahon has what he thought to be his dream situation all along, no more competition and nearly all the best talent is his. He is dominating the market yet ratings have been steadily plummeting downwards. Since then, he has pushed all the has-beens, while his younger and more talented stars languish at the bottom of the pecking order. This Ďstrategyí has not appeared to have worked and everyone is looking for solutions to solve this ratings problem. While these are major contributors to this drop in business I point to a much bigger problem than all others, one that is sometimes overlooked and one that Vince McMahon will never allow. The WWE need a challenger.


The WWE writers have become lethargic. They seem to have little plans for the future and one wonders if they even know who will main event Summerslam this year, let alone who they want to carry the company into the future. Their recent angles have been poor and ill thought out and have driven viewers away from the product. Non-wrestlers are used in angle without any pay-off in such a poor angles as the redneck triathlon. This use of non-wrestlers is pure laziness by both the writers and the bookers, as they arenít even used for any real purpose. Since WWE are, in their minds, untouchable then the drive isnít there for the writers and they produce such things as the Katie Vick angle. No longer do they have to consider such little things as the characters past, the characters future and what they are trying to achieve in general. Admittedly it isnít as bad as WCWís was in the past but it could get that way and the best protection is prevention. The WWE is unbeatable anyway isnít it? The writers will improve wonít they? Perhaps they will improve but to ensure that they will improve would be to give them more motivation and will to be the best.


The booking too has been lackluster. Again, they donít know what they want to achieve. The typical strategy as of late has been to trade jobs and (on RAW especially) to book overlong, boring angles thus getting no one over. It can be argued that no one is getting over in any significant fashion anymore, certainly not due to booking anyway. Consider John Cena, a man getting huge pops due to his own work. The bookers responded correctly by pushing him up the card and playing him off against the champion. He was de-pushed just as fast though and now doesnít appear to be a main event player. They push the likes of A-Train and Test, who have already failed numerous times and then de-push them again before anything is salvaged from the move. In six months time Iím sure, their names will be pulled out of the hat again and pushed for another good solid month or two. Now Iím not advocating long pushes of either of these men, what I am advocating is to not be so half-hearted and book someone other than HHH to get over. But it doesnít matter that younger stars arenít being given any pushes because the WWE is already successful and clearly untouchable arenít they? Certainly this is the companyís line of thinking. Nothing can go wrong as long as no-one takes the established stars right?


Wrong. This is the attitude that eventually sunk WCW and with the WWE looking more like WCW every week it is easy to slide into bankruptcy in this business. They have as much wrestlers on their payroll as WCW did and they been especially loose with the chequebook this past few months. Not only young, talented workers are signed, but older stars who demand an exorbitant salary. Buy rates are down, house show attendance is shot and the finances are sure to take a hit sooner or later if things donít turn around. The WWE lost about 19 million dollars during the last fiscal year and while they are still in good shape financially, WCW was once upon a time. Everyone thought AWA was invincible in the 80ís, everyone thought WCW was invincible and now everyone thinks that way about the WWE. Goliath was slayed, Titanic sunk and the WWE running into financial trouble in the future is quite possible the way things are going. To maintain the roster split demands a roster nearly double the size of a regular promotion and without competition the roster split is going to stay around.


The answer to these problems of course is to have a real challenger. It is possible to challenge the WWE? They are the Microsoft of wrestling right now and have everything they could possibly want at their disposal. They have a large, mostly talented and/or well-known roster, they have mainstream recognition, they have money, a TV deal with support from the networks, expert staff and the list goes on. So how is it possible that Joe Everyfed can mount an opposition to the WWE monopoly and perhaps lead wrestling into a renaissance? It takes luck, intelligence, money and a lot of guts but it is possible. WWE, the giant that it is, are showing cracks in their armor that could turn into tears. They have weaknesses which can be exposed. The public will surely be responsive to a WWE alternative and it is our duty to look for this alternative and support it, for the good of wrestling. It would be a great thing for people to finally have a choice. A challenge will benefit not just the people, but the workers as well. Allow me to explainÖ


Workers are afraid to voice their opinions on the product. In the old days, there were two major federations and when you were being held down, werenít happy with the product or were being mistreated they could easily move to the other company but now workers have nowhere to turn. They cannot go to a different organization. They have to put dinner on the table and so they cannot criticize the company line for fear of negative repercussions. People like Chris Jericho have been held down by politics and have no escape. Therefore, no-one speaks out when the company is producing things like the necrophilia angle, especially when backstage politicians can use it against youÖ


It needs to avoid politics. The WWE has been plagued with backstage politics forever but it seems that as soon as they became the sole company it stepped up a notch. At the risk of sounding clichť, Fuhrer Helmsley is arguably the most damaging backstage politician ever. This covers a lot of ground also, with the Clique and Hulk Hogan previous holders of this Ďhonourí but no man has done so much to single handedly destroy talented peopleís careers and scuttle the WWE ship like Helmsley has. He has held everyone back who seemed to threaten his upper card position no matter who they are. Only his friends, (who canít cut it in the ring like those in the Clique reign) such as Kevin Nash, get that honor. The likes of Chris Jericho, Booker T, RVD etc. need not apply. Overness, charisma and ring ability no longer seems part of the selection process on RAW, more like who is the biggest threat to Fuhrer Helmsleyís throne. It is sad to see politics rearing itís ugly head in TNA as I think they have built the foundations of a fine house. Politics are a killer and have been hacking away at RAW ever since the roster split.


For this second fed to succeed it must play on the WWEís weaknesses. It must do this to present itself as a real alternative to the WWE, as opposed to just another indy fed. They need to do the wrestling right and they need a source of money. Once a reasonably loyal fan base with reasonably loyal workers and money is established, a TV deal should be a prime target. TNA donít appear to have this as their aim and therefore they will never rival the WWE. The Ďhardcoreí route will not endear you to TV companies and may put off fans of more pure wrestling so anything Ďhardcoreí should be kept to a minimum. There is a reason why ECW is dead and the WWE isnít. What we need is a company that wants a war and is prepared to make their own guns. A direct challenge to the WWE will capture fan interest and word will spread. With luck, we would then have two well-established promotions again. It has to be prepared to mock the WWE and make them notice.


Will Vince McMahon allow it to happen? Allowing this to happen seems stupid for the uninformed but as I have explained there are many benefits. McMahon has been the boss since 1982 and throughout his entire reign the emphasis is on being the best. To be number one, by any means necessary. While this is normal and good, this iron will to be the best has the negative side effect of wishing harm to your competitors. He has ruthlessly killed the AWA, robbing them of all their stars and driving them into destruction. He has ruthlessly killed WCW, after they nearly beat him and still today, employees such as JR take shots at WCW at every opportunity. This burying of the competition has robbed the fans of an alternative and while Iím sure Vince McMahon likes it, I donít. Destroying his competition is all heís known and Iím sure eventually this new challenge will also be destroyed, the good part is watching the WWE at itís best again to fend of these upstarts.


Vince McMahon realizes this need for competition. He has created a roster split and has two separate brands, but this has not worked in simulating competition. It does create exciting storyline potential (which can easily be squandered, like Invasion) and spaces for new stars. It could have been an ingenious move which everyone loved but overall lack of motivation is killing it. Quality shows just arenít being churned out consistently and as a result, the fans arenít into it. The essence of true competitiveness is lacking because everyone knows the WWE owns both brands anyway. This will always be a flaw for such a move and it ensures that the brand extension, while potentially good, will always be the diet coke of competition. It cannot compare with the excitement of the Monday Night Wars of 1996-1998 and this is the situation which will hopefully be achieved. Everyone has fond memories of this time, when the WWF was motivated, when workers could leave a company and still support their family and when we could choose what wrestling we could watch. When no-one competes, no-one wins, when two wrestling companies compete then there everyone is a winner. The promoters, the workers, the fans.

Send Shane Feedback

 






There you have it, the final two competitors in RantWars as voted by you delivering two more solid, well written columns. Unfortunately, you the reader have a very difficult task ahead of you. Shane Harrison's "Challenger" could earn him a tryout column under his own name and column title next week should you vote to eliminate Shane Harrison. On the other hand, Chris Sharp's future is largely uncertain though voting for him will earn him a tryout column, also under his own name and title next week should he choose to accept. The decision is yours so vote carefully and remember, you are voting for the columnist that you would like to ELIMINATE, not the one you would like to win RantWars. Please vote now.

Eliminate Chris Sharp "Realization"


Eliminate Shane Harrison "Challenger"



Voting will remain open until Monday at midnight and RantWars results will appear on the 411Mania Newsboard on Tuesday afternoon with the RantWars winner posting his tryout column roughly one week later. For Chris Sharp, Shane Harrison, the seven defeated RantWars competitors, the hundreds others who entered, the thousands who voted, those who worked hard beside me to narrow down the field and me, Jay Bower, thank you for being a part of what truly has been the most (painstakingly) interactive column in Internet Wrestling History.


Coming 11/11 2003, RantWars 2! Brand new rules, a brand new format an unpredictable wild card spot...


Continue to check out The 411Mania News-Center for forthcoming details.






(edited by Jay Bower on 11.7.03 0110)



Jay Bower - Internet Wrestling Celebrityģ
411Mania.com
haz
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Whitby, Ontario, Canada

Since last post: 35 days
Last activity: 20 days
#5 Posted on
Huh?



WHO'S NEXT?!!!



----------
And the real wonder of the world is that we don't jump too
----------


Where the wild are strong, and the strong are the darkest ones, you're the Darkest One.


Gugs
Bierwurst








Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

Since last post: 481 days
Last activity: 8 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#6 Posted on
Gee, um...thanks?



Sometimes I ask myself why I watch WWE after all the crap it's given me. HLA, necro, HHH, and so on. And then it hits me. That one simple phrase that can be modified and used for anything that gets you down, yet makes you keep coming back.

Every episode has the potential to be the best one ever, and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it after sitting through this shit.
Jackson
Sujuk








Since: 4.1.02

Since last post: 1953 days
Last activity: 1479 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.10
nothing to see here



KevinKellyisFNHardcore
Salami








Since: 2.1.02
From: Fresno, California

Since last post: 3633 days
Last activity: 3617 days
AIM:  
#8 Posted on
You're trying to depress me, aren't you Jay?



Weiner #91~Weiner of the Day-27.03

RantWars 4th Place finisher. 1st Class asshole.

You know what I like to do when I'm at Blockbuster? You know the quick- drop that they have there? I like to stick my penis in there. And then look at the help and say, "Have you seen this, is this any good?"
Jay Bower
Cotechino








Since: 28.2.02

Since last post: 3849 days
Last activity: 3838 days
#9 Posted on
Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...



Jay Bower - Internet Wrestling Celebrityģ
411Mania.com
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: „Éü„Éć„āĘ„ÉĚ„É™„āĻ

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.65

    Originally posted by Jay Bower
    Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...
Test test test



©CRZ™
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: „Éü„Éć„āĘ„ÉĚ„É™„āĻ

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.65

    Originally posted by CRZ

      Originally posted by Jay Bower
      Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...
    Test test test

Test test test



©CRZ™
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: „Éü„Éć„āĘ„ÉĚ„É™„āĻ

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.65

    Originally posted by CRZ

      Originally posted by CRZ

        Originally posted by Jay Bower
        Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...
      Test test test

    Test test test

Okay, I think I figured it out. This was a holdover from before we moved the header and sig into their old fields....maybe? At any rate it should work correctly now...of course, just because it works for ME doesn't mean it'll actually work for anybody else...hmm. Hey drjayphd, why don't you Quote this message and we'll see how it works for you?



©CRZ™
Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter








Since: 11.11.02
From: Fat City, Baby

Since last post: 2920 days
Last activity: 2290 days
AIM:  
#13 Posted on

    Originally posted by CRZ

      Originally posted by CRZ

        Originally posted by CRZ

          Originally posted by Jay Bower
          Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...
        Test test test

      Test test test

    Okay, I think I figured it out. This was a holdover from before we moved the header and sig into their old fields....maybe? At any rate it should work correctly now...of course, just because it works for ME doesn't mean it'll actually work for anybody else...hmm. Hey drjayphd, why don't you Quote this message and we'll see how it works for you?



Test test test test.

Will it work?



The Obtuse Angle Archive.

Burns: Smither's this beer isn't working! I don't feel any younger, or funkier....
Smithers: I'll switch to the tablespoon, sir.
Whitebacon
Boudin blanc








Since: 12.1.02
From: Fresno, CA

Since last post: 31 days
Last activity: 3 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
#14 Posted on

    Originally posted by Jeb Tennyson Lund

      Originally posted by CRZ

        Originally posted by CRZ

          Originally posted by CRZ

            Originally posted by Jay Bower
            Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...
          Test test test

        Test test test

      Okay, I think I figured it out. This was a holdover from before we moved the header and sig into their old fields....maybe? At any rate it should work correctly now...of course, just because it works for ME doesn't mean it'll actually work for anybody else...hmm. Hey drjayphd, why don't you Quote this message and we'll see how it works for you?



    Test test test test.

    Will it work?





Baseball's Sad Lexicon

These are the saddest of possible words:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."
Trio of bear cubs, and fleeter than birds,
Tinker and Evers and Chance.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,
Making a Giant hit into a double-
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

by Franklin Pierce Adams ©
PalpatineW
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Getting Rowdy

Since last post: 2794 days
Last activity: 2636 days
AIM:  
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00

    Originally posted by Whitebacon

      Originally posted by Jeb Tennyson Lund

        Originally posted by CRZ

          Originally posted by CRZ

            Originally posted by CRZ

              Originally posted by Jay Bower
              Ha, whoops, I normally just hit preview but I guess I posted by mistake. I always check my html in these parts because the dimensions are the same as 411 for the most part. Nothing to see here indeed...
            Test test test

          Test test test

        Okay, I think I figured it out. This was a holdover from before we moved the header and sig into their old fields....maybe? At any rate it should work correctly now...of course, just because it works for ME doesn't mean it'll actually work for anybody else...hmm. Hey drjayphd, why don't you Quote this message and we'll see how it works for you?



      Test test test test.

      Will it work?




I think we needed a font tag. Or maybe one in the header.



"Georgie Porgie, he might buy the whole league, but he doesn't have enough money to buy fear to put in my heart."
Pedro Martinez
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- J. Kyle, YEAH (2002)
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