Hierarchy of Deities: Sarah Vowell > Roger Ebert > Albert Pujols > God
So, um, I don't want you to believe everything you hear at the parent-teacher conference, okay, 'cause...they lie. And they exaggerate. That's why they're teachers, right? Those who can't, right, Mom? Those who can't.
You gotta love this guy. Yet again, it's not his fault. He didn't knowingly take anything. So I guess that means he just found some pills while rummaging through a teammates locker, didn't know what they were but said screw it and took them?