Hierarchy of Deities: Sarah Vowell > Roger Ebert > Albert Pujols > God
So, um, I don't want you to believe everything you hear at the parent-teacher conference, okay, 'cause...they lie. And they exaggerate. That's why they're teachers, right? Those who can't, right, Mom? Those who can't.
Perhaps because someone's paid a shitload of money to play the game and should take pride in their performance and have some kind of winning drive? Then you wonder why the Red Sox will NEVER be shit with that kind of nucleus.