Hierarchy of Deities: Sarah Vowell > Roger Ebert > Albert Pujols > God
So, um, I don't want you to believe everything you hear at the parent-teacher conference, okay, 'cause...they lie. And they exaggerate. That's why they're teachers, right? Those who can't, right, Mom? Those who can't.
I know it will never happen, but I wish the baseball powers-that-be could rip off the structure of English soccer, where there are twenty teams in the Premier League and the worst three get relegated and replaced by the best three Division One teams.