Hierarchy of Deities: Sarah Vowell > Roger Ebert > Albert Pujols > God
So, um, I don't want you to believe everything you hear at the parent-teacher conference, okay, 'cause...they lie. And they exaggerate. That's why they're teachers, right? Those who can't, right, Mom? Those who can't.
Fred McGriff could've been without steroids, amphetamines, No-Doz, American apple pie, Ronald Reagan's jelly beans or Uncle Jesse's moonshine, and the fact remains that he was a hell of a good hitter and a borderline HOF candidate.