As many of you know, I'm the writer-in-residence for the IWS (International Wrestling Syndicate) based out of Montreal. I'm also the head writer for a smaller fed in Montreal called CWA (Champion Wrestling Association)
Last weekend, there was a CWA show on Friday called "Paranoia" followed by TWO IWS shows in Gatineau on Saturday.
(Gatineau is right across the bridge from Ottawa, Canada's capital. We held the show in Gatineau because in Ontario we would have had to pay a licence fee for each wrestler of $75, plus leave a deposit with the OAC (Ontario Athletic Commission) plus give the OAC a % of the gate (2% or 4% I can't remember off the top of my head.)
The afternoon show was the "Syndicate Invitational" and was my baby. Basically, me and a guy on the ground in Ottawa were told that we could do anything we wanted as long as we didn't go over our budget. The basis of the show was that we invited feds from all over to send wrestlers to prove themselves to our fans and the IWS management. Yes, we ripped off ROH's "Do or Die" show.
And the evening show, "Hardcore Heat" was a regular IWS show, the very first in the Ottawa/Hull/Gatineau area.
So, Friday, at CWA, I get handed the GL-1 on my way in and told that I am filming because the regular camera man TD ("Technical Difficulties") isn't there. Never mind that I haven't filmed anything except promos in like twenty years.
During the main event (Tomassino vs. Damian Steele vs. Paranoid Jake Matthews), the action spills outside. Tomassino doesn't realize that when he spilled from the ring that he landed right in front of me. I keep filming. Tomassino pivots to nail Damian Steele and because Tomassino is a legit 6'8" and I am 5'4" when Tomassino pivots he basically spin kicks me in the balls. Somehow I hang on to the camera, but I go flying.
Saturday, I am ring announcing the afternoon show because our regular ring announcer Brian the Guppie doesn't want to kill his voice doing two shows. Also, I wanted to prove that I could do it.
(I was pretty happy how things went. A few things that I forgot to do. A few things could have gone smoother. But I am my own harshest critic. Everyone else seemed very happy with the results.)
As you can see, being part French, I talk with my hands.
One of the issues of the afternoon show was that we only brought one cd player for the show. Which meant that for the first wrestler in each match, I could just introduce them, but for the second, third, etc wrestler in each match, I had to give longer and more elaborate introductions to give the DJ enough time to remove the old CD, put in the new one and find the right track. (For the evening show, we had video intros for most of the roster so it is wasn't a problem for Guppie.)
Anyway, third match in, I'm introducing Pistola who hails from "Gun Smoke, New Mexico" and to kill time, I make a little (very little) joke about how RAW has taken over Gun Smoke as the prime time Drama with the most episodes. Pistola comes into the ring and for whatever reason decides to give me a little shove. Only, he ends up giving me a stiff forearm that sends me flying on my ass half way across the ring into the ropes. Pistola gets this horrified reaction on his face and the dumb bastich makes it worse by coming over to help me on my feet.
If you remember, Mick Foley talked about just bouncing to your feet because of the adrenaline when you take a stiff shot. Well, that's exactly what happened with me as I bounced to my feet and sort of half brushed off Pistola, half evaded him.
Later, I nearly started a riot because I declared the Sabian vs. Niles Youg match to be a fifteen minute time limit draw. (One of my mistakes was not declaring each match in the card to have a fifteen minute time limit, so when I stopped the match it did sort of seem to come out of the blue.)
Sabian tells me that he only came to Ottawa to beat Niles Young, to smoke weed and to eat biscuits. I ask Manny (aka PCP Crazy F'N Manny owner of the fed.) if we have any biscuits, trying to imply that weed is not going to be an issue. Joke falls flat like a lead balloon. Improvising madly, I offer to Sabian and the crowd the chance to see Sabian fight Lionel Knight during the evening show, which got me out of the ring alive at least. (Match was going to happen anyway we just hadn't announced it. We hadn't planned for me to announce it, but what the hell.)
Best match of the afternoon was the one between ROH's Cheech and Cloudy against the team of "Phenom" Phil Stamper and Lucky. That Lucky kid is one tough son of a bitch and charismatic as hell.
But the match that came right out of the blue and was extraordinary when I was expecting nothing...
Intermission, I go to get a drink and I get a glass of ice to milk the drink as long as possible, being cheap and the concessions being as expensive as hell. I wander past the merchandise table and Jagged (one half of 2.0, the IWS tag team champions) is demonstrating something to people at the table ends up flailing wildly and falling out of his chair in the process superkicking my glass of ice about ten feet into the air.
Have I mentioned that my motto in the IWS has always been "Remember Llakor does not bump!"
I didn't even see a photographer all afternoon, but there I am in the crowd in over a dozen pics!
It was definitely unlike any other wrestling experience I've ever had. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it. I can definitely say I laughed more than any other show I've attended ever, but sometimes the ragging on the wrestlers got ridiculous. And I *really* am not interested in hearing the words "Eddie Murphy" ever again. Damn you Ukelele Man.
The idiocy aside, there was some very good wrestling in there. And I was among one of the fans ready to kill your stupid ass for calling the match a 15 minute draw. I was impressed with the really big dude that killed Player Uno. The tag-team champions were good. The main event though wasn't QUITE what I was expecting. It felt like a serious letdown after all the hype I was hearing incessantly for the participants. Maybe they had an off night, but they were completely overshadowed by the whole undercard.
That kid with the clock... He's no more than 14 years old, right? Is he even ALLOWED to legally be in the ring?
I will be in Montreal on Friday and am considering staying overnight to see the show on Saturday, if I can convince Carolyne (the chick sitting next to me with the beer ...) to head down and split gas with me.
I knew I forgot something. Good to meet you cfgb, even if I was in full "Kermit" mode.
Originally posted by cfgbI didn't even see a photographer all afternoon, but there I am in the crowd in over a dozen pics!
TD must have perfected his Ninja Photographer technique.
Originally posted by cfgbIt was definitely unlike any other wrestling experience I've ever had. I'm still not quite sure what to make of it. I can definitely say I laughed more than any other show I've attended ever, but sometimes the ragging on the wrestlers got ridiculous. And I *really* am not interested in hearing the words "Eddie Murphy" ever again. Damn you Ukelele Man.
Our fans are unique, God love em.
Originally posted by cfgbThe idiocy aside, there was some very good wrestling in there. And I was among one of the fans ready to kill your stupid ass for calling the match a 15 minute draw.
Yep. I suck.
Originally posted by cfgbI was impressed with the really big dude that killed Player Uno.
Originally posted by cfgbThe tag-team champions were good.
2.0 - Jagged & Shane Matthews - Shane is the big loud one and Jagged is slightly smaller and more technical
Originally posted by cfgbThe main event though wasn't QUITE what I was expecting. It felt like a serious letdown after all the hype I was hearing incessantly for the participants. Maybe they had an off night, but they were completely overshadowed by the whole undercard.
That match was pretty much thrown together at the last minute. It was supposed to be EXesS vs. Sexxxy Eddy, but Eddy knocked out two teeth the Friday before so he was out and replaced by Beef. Then the day of the show, the Arsenal no-showed, so Damian ended up being thrown into the main event. For all that I liked the match all though did seem to come out of nowhere. (Perfectly in character for EXesS as the technical dick character.
Originally posted by cfgbThat kid with the clock... He's no more than 14 years old, right? Is he even ALLOWED to legally be in the ring?
Twiggy. Quebec is pretty free for all for wrestling "laws". Twiggy, believe it or not, just turned 18 or 17 can't remember. In either case, he looks much younger. He is one of the smartest and funniest wrestlers in Quebec though. Also, I loved his sequence of bionic elbows.
Originally posted by cfgbI will be in Montreal on Friday and am considering staying overnight to see the show on Saturday, if I can convince Carolyne (the chick sitting next to me with the beer ...) to head down and split gas with me.
Come. Bring Friends. Drink Beer. (I think that should be our new slogan.)
Well... *chuckles* that's almost exactly what I did. Sadly, I switched back later on in the show (after remembering it was on) and what do I see? A recap of Mae Young giving a lap dance. Sorry SD... GoodBye!