Enjoy Burger King's newest (controversial?) TV ad campaign, meant to promote the new line of SpongeBob Squarepants toys included with their kids' meals (clubbk.com):
I like square butts and I cannot lie Squid and sea-star can't deny When a sponge walks in, four corners in his pants Like he got phone book implants
The crowd shouts, All the ladies stare, "Dang those pants are square!"
Swimming through the seaweed tangles Is a butt with sharp right angles
Now SpongeBob, I wanna get witch-ya 'Cuz you're makin' me rich-ah!
Underwater, we keep it grungy 'Cuz everybody knows that he's so spongey!
Ooh, Rumple-sponge-kin! You dance but your hips don't bend
So groove it, And move it, If ya got caboose Then prove it!
SpongeBob is dancin', And Squidward is glancin' He's hating! Wet! Got Spongebob runnin' his set!
I'm tired'a all these chairs, They don't accommodate these squares! Take the average box-butt and tell him that You gotta have square back!
Mr. Krabs! Yeah! Patrick! Yeah! Has SpongeBob got the butt? Oh yeah! Tell him to shake it! Shake it! Shake it! Shake it! Shake that cubicle butt! SpongeBob got back!
Naw dude, I said "cubicle", not "booty-ful." Don't fret ... Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain't got nuthin' to do with Bob's selection. "2 x 2 x 2" square trousers, working that black belt, lookin' like dotted lines. That's how SpongeBob likes to rock dem threads, baby.
A word to the DC sponges who wanna get widdit And watch SpongeBob kick it I gotta be straight when I say You gotta scrub til the break of dawn!
Bob got it going on Been known to rock him a thong! Dem round butts won't admit it But they'd wear that gear if they could fit it!
You can draw his body on paper His waistline really don't taper Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him Wanna push his pores and tease him
But SpongeBob ain't gonna have too much of that squeezin' You other sponges don't want none Unless you rock square buns!
To the new sponges in the magazines You ain't it, Miss Thing! We rock dem cubes, Gals and dudes I put it down at the Goo Lagoon!
Some other box butts get jealous At the moves that come from square fellas See Bob and they wanna get 'em But Sandy Cheeks won't let 'em
If you happen to wander on land And you wanna be a square-butt fan Just drive the crew by the Burger King And give that sponge a ring!
Anything that deprives me of seeing Ian McShane on my television is a bad thing. There was a lot of potential in that show - but it really felt like it belonged on HBO or Showtime and not on a broadcast network.