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The W - Random - My life was threatened??? (Page 2)
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ShotGunShep
Frankfurter








Since: 20.2.03

Since last post: 2483 days
Last activity: 2369 days
#21 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.37
Go learn some wrestling and some jiu jitsu and you'll be fine against any bar room brawler. Take his haymaker throwing ass to the ground, hold him there and choke him out or break his arm/foot/knee/shoulder/humerus/spine/wrist/ankle.

Oh and can Jehova's Witnesses drink?
AWArulz
Knackwurst








Since: 28.1.02
From: Louisville, KY

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 5 hours
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#22 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.63
Clearly, you mean to continue your relationship, and that is your choice, of course. I hope, for your sake, that your attraction becomes love. If you are going to progress, I agree with your discretion for the moment. But it is my opinion that the husband will NEVER let it go. Ever. He might back off in the face of a tough guy like your friend for the moment. But he'll be back. You might even, like Shotgun said, become a tough guy yourself, but that still won't stop him. He'll keep coming back.

Assuming she's letting go of him for good, (and I suggest that is an assumption that we cannot be sure of yet by any stretch), I think your only solutions are:

1. Move far, far away.

2. Regularly and soundly beat the guy's butt or have his butt beaten. He probably is going to require several lessons along these lines. He appears to only understand this form of message.

3. You can't do solution 3. But it would resolve the situation.


The two of you are relatively young (I am assuming), in love and all. Move a long way away. Not across town. Across the country.




We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.
Tenken347
Boudin blanc








Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 14 hours
#23 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.07
For once, I'm going to be the voice of caution here. While I agree that you shouldn't have let the guy push you around in your own home, I don't think I'd recommend getting into a fight with him. While I obviously don't know the guy, he sounds like a couple guys I have met in my life. Which means, if you get into a fight with him there's a chance he won't just mess you up, he'll kill you. So what I'm telling you, I think you should probably do whatever it is you have to to stay the fuck away from him. I say stop seeing the girl, but since that's apparently out for you, I think AWArule's advice of moving away sounds pretty good.

(edited by Tenken347 on 10.5.06 0444)
JayJayDean
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, WA

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 1 day
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#24 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.39
Something you should think about: As hard as it feels like for YOU to let go, it's is probably 100 times harder for HIM to let go. Say she does make a clean break, what if you run into the guy six months from now? You KNOW he'd be perfectly happy to catch you off-guard and hurt you either physically or any way he can. Do you want to be looking over your shoulder FOREVER?

    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    She doesn't want to be with you, or she would put a stop to the crap.


A-MEN. And, if she still didn't REALLY want to be with him, she would have already got the divorce and moved away herself, NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS TO YOU. I KNOW you want to believe in her, but the fact is you CAN'T.

Tell her to look you up when she's ACTUALLY single.



"You know what you need?
Some new quotes in your sig.
Yeah, I said it."
-- DJFrostyFreeze

DrDirt
Banger








Since: 8.10.03
From: flyover country

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 9 hours
#25 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.95
I don't mean to disparage your lady friend but remember, she married him. Please think what it says about where she was (is?) at. Be very, very careful both for your physical and emotional sanity. ALso think very, very closely about whatit is about her that attracts her to you.



Perception is reality
Deputy Marshall
Liverwurst








Since: 28.6.04
From: Troy, NY

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 days
#26 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.44
    Originally posted by cfgb
    { Sorry, you must be logged in to see this text! }

I advise to never take relationship advice, or take any observations to heart, from co-workers.

This is going to sound like a broken record, but seriously, you have to get the Hell out of this situation. There's only three ways this relationship can possibly work out:
1. The guy seeks professional help and realizes the error of his ways. However, that's not going to happen.
2. You two move away somewhere as AWARulz suggested. She has kids, however, so that most likely won't happen.
3. He does something incredibly stupid that winds up with him in jail, at which point none of this will have seemed worth it.

I don't mean to sound defeatist or unromantic, but your chances of this working out are somewhere between "slim to none" and "not a chance." There are other reasons I could point out, but others in this thread have already extrapolated on them.

    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    She doesn't want to be with you, or she would put a stop to the crap.

Eddie's a wise man, and as a result of this observation I realized something.

You point out that not standing up to him is because of a lack of self-confidence. Has it occurred to you, however, that perhaps part of the reason you're hanging onto your feelings for her so much (and putting yourself through so much crap) is because of the same problem? For some reason, I get the impression that you're desperate to be with somebody right now, and a desperate woman in an abusive relationship came to you and it triggered something. There's a very real possibility that's what you're hanging onto, and you have a psychological attachment to being wanted and needed rather than any real emotional attachment to her as a person.

I recommend seeing a therapist, and I hope you don't take offense to that. It's just that this whole situation seems like it's been very traumatic, and it's to the point where all these new doubts are arising from it. It may sound selfish, but take care of yourself first and foremost.



Loyal MFer...er....SPFer.


Hey look, an emo-free LJ!
Leroy
Andouille








Since: 7.2.02
From: Huntington, NY

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#27 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.91
    Originally posted by Deputy Marshall
      Originally posted by Eddie Famous
      She doesn't want to be with you, or she would put a stop to the crap.

    Eddie's a wise man, and as a result of this observation I realized something.

    You point out that not standing up to him is because of a lack of self-confidence. Has it occurred to you, however, that perhaps part of the reason you're hanging onto your feelings for her so much (and putting yourself through so much crap) is because of the same problem?


I think you should read Eddie's and Deputy Marshall's posts over and over again. Very good advice there.

Just a quick addition: letting go of this situation - while difficult - will be increasingly harder the longer things go on. Relationships should not begin with this much drama and baggage.



"Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do."
David Brent, The Office

"Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions."
Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

Because the United States is allegedly classless, we use other markers to tell people apart, such as race, jobs or income.
Roger Ebert, Review for Kicking and Screaming (1995)
Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 31 days
Last activity: 7 hours
#28 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.97
So you're saying she's knocking boots with you while she's been married for the past 15 years to some rich guy. You also say they're Jehova's Witnesses, they have season tickets to the Senators, AND they have a kid.

Don't you feel like a home wrecker?

Does Canada have laws against that sorta thing?

Do you think that perhaps YOU are the cause of the problems in her marriage?

The whole 'She said they were splitting up' thing doesn't really make sense, you see. If a woman says it's over... they don't hang around for six more months. They get the hell outta there, you know?

I'm getting the feeling that you were used, and are probably still being used to get something... not from you, but probably from her husband.

I'm just saying though, it's not like I'm a shrink or anything. I'm no marriage counselor.
pieman
As young as
he feels








Since: 11.12.01
From: China, Maine

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 16 hours
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#29 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.79

    Originally posted by JayJayDean
    Tell her to look you up when she's ACTUALLY single.


This seems to be a pertinent point, Chris. Until she's legally able to be seeing someone, she shouldn't be seeing anyone.





Gabba gabba hey!
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 22 days
Last activity: 4 days
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#30 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.06
You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.

"I know, I know you are saying "sure there was some bad calls, but Jake Gyllenhaal obviously dropped too many easy catches and Ang Lee had some horrible clock management at the end of each half!"" (krakken2000)


    Originally posted by pieman
      Originally posted by JayJayDean
      Tell her to look you up when she's ACTUALLY single.


    This seems to be a pertinent point, Chris. Until she's legally able to be seeing someone, she shouldn't be seeing anyone.


Technically, being married wouldn't stop her from seeing anyone, but that doesn't change the point. Hit the eject button and don't look back until she's unattached.



DJ FrostyFreeze
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#31 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.47

    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    She doesn't want to be with you, or she would put a stop to the crap.
The more I think about this, the more sense this comment makes. Not that it didnt make sense before, but it's starting to drown out everything else being said here because it's so plain & simple.

If she wanted to be with you, she would have told this dude she doesnt want to be with him anymore. Period.



You should visit AlenOnline.com today
Guru Zim
SQL Dejection
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: Bay City, OR

Since last post: 21 days
Last activity: 14 hours
AIM:  
#32 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.81
So to recap:

No one thinks you should stay with her. You asked for advice and you've received it. You've already shown me that you don't really want to hear this advice from us, and you are looking for someone to tell you that you should stick it out.

You shouldn't.

Run. Don't walk. Don't think about it. You can't save anyone but yourself. She needs to move away from this guy. You don't need to move with her. Your life isn't the one that has been screwed up by bad decisions, don't have her bring yours into her bad decisions.

I'm closing the thread because I run the board and I don't want to see anyone else imply anything quasi-legal.



Ignorance is bliss for you, hell for me.
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Well, I would leave Seattle Monday AM the day after WM, and take most of the week to drive down to LA. And I realize now it would take most, if not all, of that week to get down to LA, considering how curvy the PCH is.
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