It's been about 5 years since the last post in the Ladies Only forum, and if I am not mistaken that is about how far we are supposed to go between threads. And I intend to use this for it's Zim-given purpose, talking about hot wrestlers. Thanks to NXT we have finally got some decent eye-candy back on the WWE. Now, we aren't in the glory days of Brain Kendrick and Paul London, but I think there are enough shirtless, sweaty guys that it is worth discussing. And so, without further ado (and all apologies to Booker T), I present to you:
Toast Jr's Fave Five (guys I'd like to bone)
5. Sami Zayn Everyone likes a smiling, good time guy. Sami seems like he'd keep you laughing and having fun. Plus red-heads are hot. And who can resist a guy who likes to dance? Pros: can translate the menu at foreign restaurants, has the low-down on when The Mighty Mighty Bosstones are touring, happy kitty face pants (mumblesbot.tumblr.com) Cons: makes a strong effort in the sack but can't quite get the job done, still crushing on Gwen Steffani Role in my imaginary wrestler boy band: The funny one
4. Dean Ambrose Exciting and unpredictable, Dean will keep the action high and the adrenaline flowing. He always has that wet just-out- of-the-shower-look and would probably DDT the shit out of any guy who cat-called you on street. Pros: Funny faces mean you never look like the awkward one in photos, good at surprises, seems quite proficient in the use of his tongue Cons: always have to have bail money on hand, dates often consist of hiding somewhere waiting for Seth Rollins to walk by Role in my imaginary wrestler boy band: The wild one
3. The Vaudevillians (both of them) Finally, people who speak to the weird carny fascination wrestling fans have without having to delve into the creepy world of clowns. These two are 10 times more vintage than bullshit hipsters and 100 times more manly. Plus they speak with such sophistication! Pros: old school gentleman manners, hot threesomes, steak for breakfast Cons: always bemoaning these new-fangled "talkies" and the evils of jazz music, still uncertain about your right to vote Role in my imaginary wrestler boy band: The one[s] you can take home to mama
2. Baron Corbin Soltairy and myseterios, Baron calls out to inner adolecent in all of us. I can just picture him sneaking a smoke under the bleachers writing bad poetry or sketching in his journal. He seems so misunderstood and all alone. No one understands him...except me. I'd love to hear what goes on in his brooding heart, but how can I approach when I'm just a lowly freshmen with bad skin and no boobs and...oops! Did I type that? Pros: cool motorcycle, cool wolf clothes, doesn't seem to talk much Cons: most dates take place in front a green screen, doesn't seem to actually be able to wrestle. Role in my imaginary wrestler boy band: The loner
1. Roman Reigns The one that started the hot guys trend on WWE. The same classical Samoan good looks as The Rock, but crowned with a glorious mane of shiny, shimmery hair that just begs you to run your fingers through it. Plus he had that Be A Dad ad having a tea party with his daughter, so you know he has a soft side too. Pros: have you seen this amazing hunk of man-meat?!? Cons: recent surgery probably means no bedroom activity for a while, makes you self-conscious about your own hair Role in my imaginary wrestler boy band: The ladykiller
Honorable mention goes to Tyler Breeze, who while handsome seems to high maintenance to be worth it. Besides, he probably live-streams intercourse.
I've kinda been checked out on the product lately. Now that you mention it, maybe it's because we're a little low on my style of eye candy! I've got to check in over at Haven for that. Nary a one big, hunky, beefy blond to be found on WWE -- that's a problem.
Yup, Roman Reigns is a damn fine choice, even though he's not classically "my type". Being off TV is rather a bummer though.
Ziggles is kinda cute, but I can't quite get past the whole Amy Schumer thing.
Speaking of "Mr Ziggles", John Morrison / Johnny Mundo is still awfully lovely over on "Lucha Underground".
I still haven't figured out why, but Caesaro is hotter live than he is on TV. Wade Barrett is more about personality than looks, but he's off TV anyway. Jericho is classically cool, & would be fun, but also off TV.
Over on TNA, I've always liked Bobby Roode, but he really needs a more interesting gimmick to amp up the hotness. Can't think of anybody else over there these days that really registers.
Here's my letter to the WWE, as sent through their feedback system. Enjoy. First of all, I just want to tell you how much I respect everyone who works hard in the WWE to give us the great shows we see every week.