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The W - Pro Wrestling - Most Unintentionally Depressing Pro Wrestling Gimmicks
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PaulKTF
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Since: 26.5.06

Since last post: 991 days
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
http://www.cracked.com/article_18918_the-9-most-unintentionally-depressing-pro-wrestling-gimmicks.html
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BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.96
Pretty basic stuff, and Wrestlecrap has been doing this for years.

Just for the sake of arguing I'd say Hornswaggle has been a great gimmick. It's really annoying, but kids like it, it probably has made them a lot of money and has made Dylan Postl the most successful midget wrestler of all time.

SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.88
    Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco
    Just for the sake of arguing I'd say Hornswaggle has been a great gimmick. It's really annoying, but kids like it, it probably has made them a lot of money and has made Dylan Postl the most successful midget wrestler of all time.

Dean Malenko would like a word with you.

(edited by SchippeWreck on 15.12.10 1601)


"It's magic! We don't need to explain it!"
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 263 days
Last activity: 224 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.69
Yeah I thought about linking to this. Some interesting names involved that I wasn't aware of. Kevin Nash as Oz, Balls Mahoney as Xanta Klaus, and Lita in the Danny Doring / Amish Roadkill video as "Miss Congeniality".
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.36
I'm not sure how any of these could be considered depressing unless you're taking into consideration the talent of Brad Armstrong and Hector Guerrero being wasted on Arachnaman and the Gobbledy Gooker.

Almost every complaint regarding Hornswoggle could be applied to Santino (aside from being able to run through painted holes) and Hornswoggle is probably actually a better wrestler than Santino.

I always liked the Oz gimmick, if for no other reason than it was the coolest entrance I ever saw live, as a kid. And if you're going to complain about failing to adhere to canon, the first shot should be taken at the movie which leaves out several major plot points.

Arachnaman makes perfect sense. If an orange Incredible Hulk ripoff and a black Superman can both get over, why not a yellow Spiderman?

Four of these, The Yeti, The Gobbledy Gooker, Phantasio and Xanta Klaus had, what, three total matches between all of them? Why not throw Beaver Cleavage in there as well.

The Eugene gimmick was probably better used than anyone would have ever thought possible.

I'm not sure that the WWE itself could come up with a more random and pointless list, though I'm sure they'd come up with a much better title for it.

As for actually depressing gimmicks, I think the Undertaker and Kane would have to be at the very top of the list. Along with The Shockmaster.
ekedolphin
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Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.09
And somehow Muhammad Hassan doesn't make this list. His gimmick goes above and beyond depressing, especially the circumstances that caused his character to be dropped from WWE.



"Justice has a name. And the name it has, besides 'justice', is Captain Hammer."
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PaulKTF
Summer sausage








Since: 26.5.06

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.00
I've got to give credit to Nick Dinsmore- he took what could've been a career-killing gimmick and totaly ran with it.
odessasteps
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 23 days
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.54
    Originally posted by SchippeWreck
      Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco
      Just for the sake of arguing I'd say Hornswaggle has been a great gimmick. It's really annoying, but kids like it, it probably has made them a lot of money and has made Dylan Postl the most successful midget wrestler of all time.

    Dean Malenko would like a word with you.




not to mention dozens of luchadors.



Mark Coale
Odessa Steps Magazine
ISSUE FOUR - OCTOBER 2009
dMp
Banger








Since: 4.1.02
From: The Hague, Netherlands (Europe)

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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.78
If you think of depressing as "how the FUCK are you gonna try and make this character work" then Eugene and such do belong on that list.

Yet somehow it did work, at least for a while.
Same for Hornswoggle.

But yeah, I can imagine getting depressed when you're told you're gonna be playing a mentally challenged person.

Roadkill was quite a success imo.
It sure made him stand out in between the hardcore tough guys on ECW. Kinda like the Dudleys in their tye-dye days.
Out there but awesome.








Avatar Mud
Amos Cochran
Bratwurst








Since: 28.8.09

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.13
    Originally posted by dMp
    But yeah, I can imagine getting depressed when you're told you're gonna be playing a mentally challenged person.


Eugene is a 100% Dinsmore creation, it wasn't foisted upon him.
Dr Unlikely
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.93
The New Breed were meant to inspire everyone about what the fantastical future world of 2002 might hold for us. But obviously, something went wrong and history was changed, robbing us of the robot-filled future led capably by President Rhodes. Would the US have been split along idealogical lines in 2000 if a strong, consensus-building candidate like Dusty Rhodes been involved in the election? Would certain terrible events have transpired in 2001 under his watch and with the help of indefatigable robot guardians protecting the nation? Would the global economy be in its current state if America had a greater focus on the paywinduh?

With the hindsight we have now, there is no other answer. Because of the glimpse it gave us of a fulfilled American Dream that we would never achieve, the New Breed is the most unintentionally depressing pro wrestling gimmick. Plus, those two now exist forever trapped outside the time stream, which is even worse than being one of those guys who likes magic too much.
2P4E
Boerewors








Since: 4.1.05
From: SE12, London, UK.

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.38
Kerwin White was fairly depressing for several reasons.
redsoxnation
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Since: 24.7.02

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.92
    Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco
    Pretty basic stuff, and Wrestlecrap has been doing this for years.

    Just for the sake of arguing I'd say Hornswaggle has been a great gimmick. It's really annoying, but kids like it, it probably has made them a lot of money and has made Dylan Postl the most successful midget wrestler of all time.









Sky Low Low would like to have a say in the matter.
CEOIII
Kolbasz








Since: 25.7.02
From: Franklin, PA

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 18 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.32
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
      Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco
      Pretty basic stuff, and Wrestlecrap has been doing this for years.

      Just for the sake of arguing I'd say Hornswaggle has been a great gimmick. It's really annoying, but kids like it, it probably has made them a lot of money and has made Dylan Postl the most successful midget wrestler of all time.









    Sky Low Low would like to have a say in the matter.



Was Sky Low Low ever cruiserweight champion? I think NOT!



I'm Charlie Owens, good night, and good luck.
J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 6 days
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Y!:
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.95
Sing this special song. It's just for you.
    Originally posted by Bizzaro 2P4E
    Kerwin White was frigging jawsome for several reasons.
Edited for accuracy.

Yeah that article was also-ran Wrestlecrap. When I saw the title I got my hopes up that Seanbaby or one of the other regulars did it and was disappointed.

Though, looking at the Roadkill entry, that was the first time I've seen Lita pre-upgrades and she was awfully pretty looking in that video.

(edited by J. Kyle on 16.12.10 1452)

Click to see it fullsize! Thanks Jen!
2P4E
Boerewors








Since: 4.1.05
From: SE12, London, UK.

Since last post: 254 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.38
But the thing about Kerwin White is even if you thought he was friggin jawsome it then becomes sad that the gimmick had to be cut short for death-related reasons. Nobody wins with Kerwin.
odessasteps
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 18 hours
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.54
    Originally posted by J. Kyle
      Originally posted by Bizzaro 2P4E
      Kerwin White was frigging jawsome for several reasons.
    Edited for accuracy.

    Yeah that article was also-ran Wrestlecrap. When I saw the title I got my hopes up that Seanbaby or one of the other regulars did it and was disappointed.

    Though, looking at the Roadkill entry, that was the first time I've seen Lita pre-upgrades and she was awfully pretty looking in that video.

    (edited by J. Kyle on 16.12.10 1452)


I remember meeting her when I worked for MCW and she was traveling/working with Christian York and Joey Matthews. She was blonde and pre-WWF implants and pretty, IIRC.



Mark Coale
Odessa Steps Magazine
ISSUE FOUR - OCTOBER 2009
The Thrill
Banger








Since: 16.4.02
From: Green Bay, WI

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.25
Welcome home, men of the 2nd Bn, 127th Infantry, 32d "Red Arrow" Brigade, WI Army National Guard! Job well done in Iraq!

    Originally posted by InVerse
    ...and Hornswoggle is probably actually a better wrestler than Santino.


This. During his time with us as "Shortstack" (where he used this inspired entrance music choice), he had some damned good matches with normal-size guys.

Even won a ladder match to win the first ACW X-Division title.





NWA Wisconsin...Live, Local Pro Wrestling!
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J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 8 hours
AIM:  
Y!:
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.96
Sing this special song. It's just for you.
    Originally posted by 2P4E
    But the thing about Kerwin White is even if you thought he was friggin jawsome it then becomes sad that the gimmick had to be cut short for death-related reasons. Nobody wins with Kerwin.
Can you catch a rainbow? Kerwin was too good to last, but that doesn't undo the fact that he was too good.



Click to see it fullsize! Thanks Jen!
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 hour
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.17
You have to wonder, had the Kerwin White character went on, where would Dolph Ziggler be today?
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