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25.10.14 0612
The W - Pro Wrestling - Mark F'n Henry (Page 2)
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BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#21 Posted on

    Lance Storm works looser than the fat chick hanging around outside your local bus depot. He and RVD should form a tag team (I know they're on different shows, shut up) called the Minimal Impact Players. Where's JUSTIN CREDIBLE, while we're at it?


What is it with you and cheap shots at former ECW guys, Travis? I know that you think RVD is a hack, Spike and D'Von are no talents and there's no use trying to beat a dead horse there. But I'm not sure where you get off calling Lance Storm a loose worker. As oppossed to who? Lance Storm is one of the best workers in the US right now. I would love to see a Triple Threat IC match with Storm, RVD and Eddy. Storm can go technical, go in the air or do an all out brawl, but he's an old Paul Heyman employee so that might cloud your judgement.




EastCoastAvenger
Bockwurst








Since: 4.1.02
From: Clearwater, FL

Since last post: 1994 days
Last activity: 1 day
#22 Posted on
Lance can do all the above, but he can't do the most important thing: Make me give two shits about what he's doing in the ring. Basically, every time he's on tv, his lack of charisma makes me say, "That's nice, now where's The Rock?" during his matches. Sure, he's got the in-ring skills, but he has less charisma than your average oak tree.

The fact is, whether you like it or not, The Miz-ark appeals to more people than Lance right now.

Hopefully, he'll be given a chance to grow beyond the "World's Strongest Man" gimmick, and stay the hell avay from the Vince Russo-style dumb-ass angles. Now, if they REALLY wanted to make me happy, they'd have Brock feud against Henry and do the U.S. version of the Kenta Kobashi/ Vader feud. Big strong guy vs. REALLY big strong guy is money in the bank here in the States! Talk about workrate and technical exhibitions all you want, the average fans (the ones who keep Vince rollin' in dough) dig watching big guys kicking ass.



"All born equal unless you're Canadian
Then halfway through decay like Uranium
You define what's death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
‘Cause the show ain't over ‘til the fat lady sings
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it"

From "Take The Long Way Home", by The Bloodhound Gang
Debaser
Mettwurst








Since: 22.3.02

Since last post: 4457 days
Last activity: 4422 days
#23 Posted on

    Originally posted by EastCoastAvenger
    Talk about workrate and technical exhibitions all you want, the average fans (the ones who keep Vince rollin' in dough) dig watching big guys kicking ass.


To be perfectly honest, I'm somewhat unsure about how true this is anymore. I mean, when't the last time anyone got truly over because they were big? Most every money player in the WWF right now is big compared to, say, me, but nothing spectacular by pro wrestling standards. Size seems to make you stand out a bit and can give guys instant credibility, but I think the modern fans have kind of become too jaded to pop huge for a guy just because he's large. Compared to the Big Show or Kane, Henry's not all the big, anyway.

If they want to get Henry over based on strength, they have to keep him away from gimmicked inanimate objects and guys like Christian (who even someone medium-sized can throw around), and put him in there with other big guys (like you said, feud him with Lesnar). If he starts chucking them around, he'll become worth watching. I remember towards the end of his last run he pressed Viscera over his head, and that was the one and only moment I have ever given a crap about the guy one way or another. Have him squash Rikishi and/or Albert a few times, and people will forget about the fact that he is slower than molasses and has no discernable moveset.
Madame Manga
Kolbasz








Since: 16.1.02
From: Silicon Valley

Since last post: 37 days
Last activity: 19 days
#24 Posted on
>I remember towards the end of his last run he pressed Viscera over his head, and that was the one and only moment I have ever given a crap about the guy one way or another.

Now that is something that I would have liked to see! Sorry I missed it.

>Have him squash Rikishi and/or Albert a few times, and people will forget about the fact that he is slower than molasses and has no discernable moveset.

Maybe. I'm reserving judgment, though his pan-rolling exploits are starting to irritate me. In a way, a strongman act is in sync with a wrestling show, since both of them were part of the old "at-shows" at carnivals. But just how old-school is the WWF going to go? ;-)

As for Lance Storm, I like him, both in the ring and on the mic. I'm a little biased, since I read his website, but I think his deadpan delivery is very good. He's certainly a change from the angry bad-asses that the WWF has coming out its ears.

MM
El Nastio
Andouille








Since: 14.1.02
From: Ottawa Ontario, by way of Walkerton

Since last post: 1 hour
Last activity: 1 hour
ICQ:  
#25 Posted on
I cal it anti-charisma, because it may seem he has none, but he emits something still. I'm a huge fan of Storm. On the mic and in the ring.


Anyone else see the Storm 1:08 poster on RAW? THAT = GOLD.




I'm Catholic plus I'm a redneck. I ain't afraid to admit it, and I ain't going to hide it.
MoeGates
Andouille








Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 days
#26 Posted on
I can't believe we're arguing about who's got more potential: Mark Henry or Lance Storm. Kind of like arguing about whether the Mayor of Boise or the State Senator from Peoria is the better candidate for President.

But while we're at it: Storm at his most over - solid upper-midcard heel (maybe even the #2 heel) in a dying promotion. Henry at his most over - I'm not really sure when Henry was at his most over, but I'll say his face run with D'Lo - midcard tag-team face in the heyday of a very popular promotion. Which is better? Beats me. But neither of these guys has "main-event" or even "niche draw" writing anywhere near them.

Moe



Expressing myself EVERY day!
UAsnake2002
Cotechino








Since: 27.2.02
From: Tuscaloosa, AL, USA

Since last post: 4469 days
Last activity: 4469 days
#27 Posted on
Mark Henry with the World's Strongest Man gimmick.

2 words and 3 letters say it all: Bill Kazmaier, WCW.

This gimmick IS THE PRETZELS!



____________________ is Walking!

A)The Rock
B)CRZ
C)Everyone, away from this crap.
EastCoastAvenger
Bockwurst








Since: 4.1.02
From: Clearwater, FL

Since last post: 1994 days
Last activity: 1 day
#28 Posted on

My biggest problem with Storm's current "gimmick" of total lack of charisma is that it's never played upon. They never joke around about it (dub him "Mr. Exciting") or put him over as such a technical genius that it's literally impossible to beat him in a technical matchup. Same with Mark Henry. He's strong... and that's about it. They never follow through with the gimmicks.

"Storm 1:08"? What's that? Knowing Storm doesn't even take Tylenol, I doubt it's a drug reference (Although I could really dig an angle where RVD gets Storm high and all sorts of hijinks ensue...)

Bill Kazmaier was another guy the IWC hated that the "marks" liked. Since Funaki has nothing to do right now, they should team him up with Henry like WCW did with Kaz and Jushin Lyger. The double team moves could be good stuff (Though they should stay away from anything that requires tight timing like Total Elimination!)

Moe has the best point of all: Henry & Storm, midcard for life with no hope of parole!



"All born equal unless you're Canadian
Then halfway through decay like Uranium
You define what's death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
‘Cause the show ain't over ‘til the fat lady sings
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it"

From "Take The Long Way Home", by The Bloodhound Gang
Tragic1
Chourico








Since: 2.1.02
From: Rolling Meadows, Illinois

Since last post: 4372 days
Last activity: 4363 days
#29 Posted on
ECA: Storm 1:08 refers to Storm's MSG match against Edge where he lost in one minute and eight seconds. It's a self depricating joke he made since everyone online was saying he lost in under a minute.

That's the weird thing, Storm is so funny and cool in his online commentaries. But he gets in the ring and none of it comes out. Maybe they should give Lance five minutes on Smackdown to talk about the "Death Tours" for him to get over.



Heck is for people that don't believe in Gosh
drjayphd
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 22.4.02
From: Long Island

Since last post: 34 days
Last activity: 4 days
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#30 Posted on
Well, maybe it's just that he writes better than he can come across on the mic. I love his work, don't particularly care for Mark (at least what I've seen), but there's honestly bigger issues in wrestling than him, correct?
Debaser
Mettwurst








Since: 22.3.02

Since last post: 4457 days
Last activity: 4422 days
#31 Posted on

    Originally posted by Madame Manga
    Maybe. I'm reserving judgment, though his pan-rolling exploits are starting to irritate me.


I suspect most of the entire WWF audience is with you on that. If I met Mark in person, and he rolled a frying pan up for me live, I'd probably think it was pretty cool, but (even if they're not entirely done via gimmicks) these party tricks don't translate well to TV at all.



As for Lance Storm, I like him, both in the ring and on the mic. I'm a little biased, since I read his website, but I think his deadpan delivery is very good. He's certainly a change from the angry bad-asses that the WWF has coming out its ears.



Unfortunately, it's not really deadpan, just stiff and awkward, and claiming he's just a serious type is a rather transparent rationalization. It'd be like if Crash Holly came out every week and the announcers claimed he was really 400 lbs., just really dense... except this time they actually expect us to by it instead of saying "oh that wacky Crash".

Ooh! Perfect gimmick to get Lance over: make him think he's like the most charismatic guy ever. Have him deliver long, complicated catchphrases that are completely impossible to sing along with (if neccessary have him change them slightly every week so the audience can't catch on), in his naturally stilted monotone, and then act like the audience loves him. Have him ally with Vince, who then has the sound guys dub in a transparently false "Lance Storm" chant in post production. Feud him briefly with the Rock. Bake on HIGH for thirty minutes or until outer crust is golden brown.
Jackson
Sujuk








Since: 4.1.02

Since last post: 1992 days
Last activity: 1517 days
#32 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.10
From reading his site Lance sounds like he has this "just happy to be here and I will do whatever they ask me to" attitude. You don't have to act like HHH or Nash to get pushed but I think you can take the nice guy route too far also. Lots of people have gotten over by putting out some ideas about their own character. He needs to get something going or he will remain a Jakked Jobber 4 life.



Bubbles? Oh come on Sharon! I’m Ozzy Osbourne the Prince of Fucking Darkness. Evil, evil, more fucking evil not a boatload of fucking bubbles man.
Debaser
Mettwurst








Since: 22.3.02

Since last post: 4457 days
Last activity: 4422 days
#33 Posted on

    Originally posted by Jackson
    From reading his site Lance sounds like he has this "just happy to be here and I will do whatever they ask me to" attitude. You don't have to act like HHH or Nash to get pushed but I think you can take the nice guy route too far also. Lots of people have gotten over by putting out some ideas about their own character. He needs to get something going or he will remain a Jakked Jobber 4 life.


Some part of me wonders if this is really a problem. If he is honestly just happy to be there, maybe he prefers being a straight in ring guy who doesn't have to deal with things like promos or angles (which obviously aren't where his talents lie anyway). I'm sure he gets decent pay (although admittedly his career life is limited), and if he likes what he's doing than more power to him. Not everybody has to be world champion.
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 11 hours
#34 Posted on
He's really on the wrong show for one. He should be on RAW feuding over the IC belt with RVD, Eddy, Jeff Hardy. the WWF could really build one hell of a middle weight, they don't need to call it that, (IC) division around these types of guys. Hell throw Kanyon in there when he gets back. Storm going to have a harder time getting over on the show that is more sports entertainment.



Redhawk1810
Linguica








Since: 10.1.02
From: Seattle

Since last post: 4378 days
Last activity: 4374 days
AIM:  
#35 Posted on
I just had a (bad) idea for Mark Henry. Play him up as this insanely strong guy, but with an Achilles heel. See, although Henry is all big and strong, he has one weakness. What will that weakness be? I haven't figured that out yet. Maybe he's ticklish. Maybe he's afraid of sweat. Maybe he's too scared he'll hurt someone. I don't know. But it's obvious Henry's not going to ever get over in a serious role (either heel or face), so it's time to do a "Planet Stasiak" with him and just go for laughs.



"From this point on, I will prove that I am the best this bitchness has to offer, and if anybody wanna tempt ... test me, step to me like a man." -- Booker T

"Booker T, I know you don't want me; because it's obvious I beat your ass so bad you forgot where the barbershop was!" -- Scott Steiner
MoeGates
Andouille








Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 days
#36 Posted on
Like Kamala 2002?

Moe



Expressing myself EVERY day!
WTF13
Boerewors








Since: 22.1.02

Since last post: 4462 days
Last activity: 4462 days
#37 Posted on
Or maybe like Andre and snakes...



HUSS! HUSS! HUSS!
EastCoastAvenger
Bockwurst








Since: 4.1.02
From: Clearwater, FL

Since last post: 1994 days
Last activity: 1 day
#38 Posted on
Hey, bring in a modified Popeye gimmick. Team him up w/ RVD, then before every match, have them disappear into a room. Smoke pours out a few minutes later, and Henry comes out REALLY relaxed, but even stronger than normal.

Dammit, Vince let his daughter flash us all on national tv, he shouldn't have a problem with some weed jokes.

BTW... Am I the only one who digs the "Planet Stasiak" gimmick?



"All born equal unless you're Canadian
Then halfway through decay like Uranium
You define what's death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
‘Cause the show ain't over ‘til the fat lady sings
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it"

From "Take The Long Way Home", by The Bloodhound Gang
Phantom
Frankfurter








Since: 17.3.02

Since last post: 2377 days
Last activity: 2353 days
#39 Posted on

    Originally posted by WTF13
    Or maybe like Andre and snakes...


Wait, I thought that was Earthquake who was afraid of snakes? Thus leading to the infamous "squash" he did to Damien.
chuckc14
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Nashville

Since last post: 3181 days
Last activity: 1569 days
#40 Posted on
It was Andre too...you'd never see the big guy move as fast as he did when Damien came out of the bag.



"I'm more confused than Scott Hall in a parking lot" - Joshua Grutman
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seeing the nwa ppv on tv i found it entertaining...but i cant imagine paying $10 a week for it...if i t was on free tv i would watch it again since my wed. night tv viewing is pretty empty...it would be nice for wwe to have some real competition too..
- ilovemidgets, nwa tna...how long till r.i.p? (2002)
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