Maybe this whole thing is a story one really shouldn't be getting any pleasure from. No matter who someone is, drug addiction is a tragic thing and while I think he's contributed more than any other human being to the fall of political discourse in this country, I wish him a speedy recovery and a victory over his demons.
All of that, however, doesn't keep this description of his rehab center from being absolutely hilarious:
From "psychodynamic role-playing and yoga" to "adventure therapy," "Climbing Wall," "the desert experience" and "equine-assisted therapy" (yes, bonding with horses), Limbaugh may just think he died and went to "feminazi" hell. The website depicts photos of people with a decidedly Berkeley look sitting around on the floor in what seem like consciousness-raising sessions. Picture Rush holding his fellow travelersí hands and singing Kumbayah. Surely heíll be reciting a line from the very president he lambasted for years: "I feel your pain." How many on the right would have thought that Bill Clinton would be getting the last chuckle, out there aiding his feminazi wifeís successful political career while their man Rush is wandering the desert reciting New Age mantras? "Self-discovery often crystallizes during an experience that requires physical and mental exertion in the face of a potentially fearful activity," the description for the Climbing Wall says. "With its height and verticality, the Climbing Wall serves as an important therapeutic metaphor."
Yes, Iím sure some of you would pay to watch Limbaugh scale that wall. But me, Iíd like to observe him during "creative expression therapy," which includes "art therapy, journaling, meditation" and "clap outs, historygrams, reading assignments" as well asÖ"sculpting." These techniques, the website explains, "deepen the journey to self-discovery."
Surely Limbaugh has lots of hidden issues to work throughĖoh, to be a fly on the wall during that therapy. Donít get me wrong: Iím not meaning to belittle drug treatment, nor, certainly, drug addiction. Quite to the contrary. Loopy as some of these therapies seem, Iím all for whatever works. And Iím all for Limbaughís potential transformation from a fire-breathing dragon into a jellyfish or a pussycatĖor even an actual human being, as unlikely as any of that is (particularly since some experts say 30 days isnít enough time to kick OxyContin).
Iím also glad that the New Age mystics, the feminazis, the well-to-do Hollywood types, the liberals whom he has claimed "coddle" people on drugs and lots of others whom Limbaugh has attacked may now be helping him out in Arizona. Letís see if he returns the favor.
Okay, I'm sorry, that's just funny. Just try getting a mental picture of Limbaugh in the midst of that. It's like the Treehouse of Horror episode where they sent Homer to the Ironic Punishment Division of Hell.
Now that's a concept for a reality show!
"So, here's what George W. Bush can't find: The White House leak, the weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, a connection between Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden, the dude who mailed the anthrax and his ass with both hands and a flashlight." ---Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live
If you are having a rally as a candidate, why would you want anti-you people there (signs and all)? The declaring your vote thing is odd but if your campaign has rented a hall, couldn't you decide who gets in?