"WWF.com: What is Jerry Lawler looking for in the future Mrs. King, once you get everything squared away and you're back on the prowl?
Lawler: That's a good question. Believe it or not, I was pretty happy with what I had. Someone who enjoys traveling with me. Someone who enjoys the wrestling business. What I'm really looking for is a beautiful, young, nice, nymphomaniac. Something like that."
Ok, is that REALLY funny or is it just me?
"I hear it's amazing when the gamouse purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!" -Colonel Campbell, Metal Gear Solid 2
-By what I can tell, Lawler's gimmick of being a perverted, horny old man isn't far from the truth.-
That's no gimmick. Now, I am by no means a prude or part of the Central Minnesota German Catholic Coalition to ban the Nudie Bars, (they're sometimes fun to go to!), but JesusHChrist I am so sick of Mr. Puppy drooling over Trish's vericose boob veins and every other appendage that wiggles on the Divas. My point with him is that he is SO pathetic, what with the WOO-HOO's and PUPPIES! (ex.- I'm gonna turn those puppies into pointers!) Even when he was getting laid by Kat consistently, he couldn't get enough. That boy is a p-i-g, pig. Please bring back Heyman. I miss him.
"-He's Touching Me. Batman is touching me. I'm dead, aren't I?-"
Funny thing is that he calls essentially everything like the casual fan at home would be thinking as they see it themselves. That's not a gimmick, that's HIM, doing what he thinks is entertaining, and/or colorful, if you will.
But, um... I still think Heyman was better, and why? Because he was a color who also did play by play, while turning Ross, who was only play by play, into more of a colorful character ["Kiss my Ass, Paul" is something I recall happening... and it was damn fun to watch that too]
---=---:---=--- [Look up a line] Wow, that belt looks like crap... I'll take it and carry it around for years and see if people can take it away from me... What? What was that? You mean even THIS belt doesn't matter! What? I'm insulted! Get away from me you... you... defiler!
Didn't Lawler once say the only girls too young for him are the ones still wearing footie pajamas?
And sign me up as another member of the "Heyman was better" crowd. Heyman was a genuine heel announcer -- he was solidly on the heels' side and had no fear of making himself dislikable. Lawler's too amiable to be really heelish; when he sticks up for Jericho or some such, it seems jarringly out of character.
(Yes, I know Lawler was the God of Heelocity back when he was wrestling. I mean in the here and now.)
I think it really funny that whenever he gets the chance Lawler says that he and JR had such a great thing going and the reason people didn't like JR/Paul was because they were both doing the same thing - getting the feud over, instead of someone trying to lighten it up.
The thing is, even though the Invasion sucked pretty much, can you imagine how much it would have sucked if the King had been commentating? Nobody to actually speak the mind of the heels, because Lawler is only a heel when he gets to make funny statements. He never sounds like he means it but just says things because he can make a great joke out of it. Or following the cheap heat pop the heel is making (stuff like: heel says sucks! King: Woohoo! He is right! Next up, puppies!!!)
Oh well..the only true non-internetfan/smart/whatever we wanna call it (so that would make him a mark then) loves lawler and was glad Paul Heyman left...again, shows what we know and understand about this business..
Imagine this is some funny signature. Then I will imagine you compliment me on it.
Lawler hasn't been amusing with any regularity since about 1998 or so. Heyman was great at getting everyone over and just plain entertaining to listen to most of the time. Lawler on the other hand usually sounds pathetic and annoying. He'd be better suited doing color on Benny Hill re-runs.
Heyman made watching a match all that more exciting with his heelish antics. His commentary gave me some nostalgia when he did commentary for WCW/NWA or Heen and Monsoon in the WWF. I just think its better when you have a heel announcer and a face announcer that don't get along, or at least act like they don't. I just find it stupid that one week Lawler is defending JR's honor against Tazz, and he doesn't even care that Taker, Angle, and Vince kicked the crap out of him, and rubbed his face in his ass.
"It is a strange fate that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing...such a little thing." -Boromir
Not only was Heyman better at putting the angles and the wrestlers over, he was also better at simply just being a heel. Ever since the "puppy" craze, Lawler has tried hard to be funny, horny and "cool"instead of trying to act like like a dick. Remember when he took the side of every heel no matter what? Protecting JR from Tazz, and playing the face during the whole RTC debacle killed the very little bit of true heelishness that Lawler had. Heyman always knew when to act like a jerk. He alweay knew when to quit playing for laughs and try to get booed. Every announce team needs a heel. The current lack of one has been greatly detrimental to the already weak storylines. Lawler needs to get his act together and remember what his role at that that table is. Silicone lust and fart jokes just don't cut it anymore.
------------------ "They had nine months, and the best name they could come up with was Christian? That would be like my Mom and Dad calling me 'Jew!'" - Paul Heyman, Raw 03.09.01
I don't know if anyone has posted this yet, but I'm going to anyway: Two excerpts from Shaun Assael's "Sex Lies & Headlocks" is on ESPN Page 2. Here's some links: Excerpt #1 Excerpt #2 It's a good read. Check it out.