I do not like Jared. Sometimes I think I would like to take him and make him eat big foot long subs with everything on them until he balooned up to about 400 pounds, and then make him walk around wearing a shirt that says "I'm a Big Fat Fattie." I know this is not a good thing to feel, but those commercials REALLY get on my nerves.
To be fair, I'm sure he worked harder than any other student in the class. I mean, this is damn near artful absurdist shit. If it was an English class, I wouldn't fail him either. I mean, it's a folk tale, not a goddamn Oxy Clean Commercial.