Countdown to Christian Cage New IWS Bloodstream for Un F’N Sanctioned 2007
We are less than two weeks away from the first visit to Quebec of an NWA World Heavyweight Champion in more than twenty years, since Ric Flair fought Rick Martel in 1985. But Christian Cage nearly had his visit to Montreal cancelled by International Wrestling Syndicate Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny, until “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer stepped in and intervened. Manny was upset that Christian Cage decided to tag with Max Boyer rather than take Manny’s orders.
The IWS will be throwing a press conference and pre-Medley party, Thursday, March 15th, 2007 at 9pm (21h) in Brutopia, 1219 Crescent. Fans and press are both welcome. Tickets for Un F’N Sanctioned will be available for sale. Confirmed for the press conference will be a contract signing for the IWS Tag Team Title Match between the challengers, the Hardcore Ninjaz and the champions, the Green Phantom and his new reluctant partner, Sexxxy Eddy.
Un F’N Sanctioned Card – Quick and Dirty Saturday, March 24th, 2007 Medley, 1170 St-Denis (corner Rene Levesque) Metro Berri-UQAM Montreal, Quebec, CANADA
Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs. Shane Matthews
Regles de Quebec: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke Special Outside Referee for the Match: Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze)
EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Azriel
Four Way Ladder Match: Hi-5 (Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze) vs. Team Checkmate (Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop) vs. Up In Smoke (Cheech and Cloudy) vs. Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied)
Canadian Open: IWS Canadian Champion Dan Paysan vs. Justin White vs. Kenny the Bastard vs. Rob Vega$ vs. Pornstar Juan and Twiggy vs. Vanessa Kraven
IWS Tag Team Title Match: Challengers The Hardcore Ninjaz vs. Champions The Green Phantom and Sexxxy Eddy
IWS Title Match: Challenger Necro Butcher vs. Champion Viking
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews
Detailed Preview for Un F’N Sanctioned
The question of the hour for fans of 2.0 is this: Is Jagged the return of Marty Janetty or is he the return of Arn Anderson? Is the match a permanent split like Shawn Michaels and Marty Janetty or a temporary tiff like that between Arn Anderson and Ric Flair? Which is to say: is the Battle of 2.0 the break-up of the most popular tag-team of their generation or is it just Shane Matthews kicking at the traces after being on the injured reserve for six months? One way or another, it is a rare opportunity to see two of Quebec’s best fight against each other rather than as a team.
From previous Quebec Rules matches, we have been told that an outside referee is required. Shayne Hawke has chosen the outside referee for his match against Fred la Merveille: Above Standards, Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze. Apparently, Shayne was working on the principle that as a team, Above Standards might make one competent referee. Fred, in turn, has promised a special enforcer for the match. No doubt, this will be a match with many additional rules that will only be unveiled at the Medley.
EXesS’ open challenge has been answered by a man from EXesS’ past, ROH and JAPW star, Azriel. The two men put on a barn-burner of a match in JAPW where Azriel came out on top. Will EXesS have the home-town advantage in front of an IWS crowd still upset at EXesS for the way that he put Stefany in the hospital after Violent Valentine 2007?
Team Checkmate have a justified grievance: they won a match last year to be declared Number One Contenders for the IWS Tag Team Titles, but they have never received their title match, largely due to the injuries that Chris Bishop suffered when a drunken driver crashed into his car. The two men have developed a bit of a paranoid persecution complex though, convinced that the IWS has it in for them because they are from Ontario.
Team Checkmate are particularly incensed at being invited to re-earn their status as Number One Contenders in a Fatal Four Way Ladder Match at the Medley. Especially since Chris Bishop nearly killed himself last year at the Medley in a ladder match. Also competing in the match will be Hi-5 as Kid Kamikaze foolishly trusted Beef Wellington to get him a submissions match as a singles wrestler and instead finds himself in a tag team ladders match partnered with a man he can not stand. Rounding out the field will be American stars Cheech and Cloudy and the Pride of the Outaouais and Nintendorks everywhere, the Super Smash Brothers, Player Uno and Stupefied. One has to ask if Uno’s mastery of the Contra code will give him any special abilities to climb ladders?
The Dapper Don, Dan Paysan, the IWS Canadian Champion, is now a champion in four different wrestling promotions and he is fast becoming an expert at beating people in groups. For each of his four belts he has to win or defend his title by beating five other men. Once again in the IWS Canadian Open, Dan Paysan will have to beat five other men: former IWS Canadian Champion Kenny the Bastard, 2006 NWA Rookie of the Year Justin White, JAPW star Rob Vega$; Pornstar Juan, Twiggy and the Hottest Prospect in Indy Wrestling, the Dark Amazon, Vanessa Kraven.
So yeah, we can’t add. Although, technically, Dan has to defend his title against five men… and one woman. And Vanessa Kraven may just be the biggest threat to Dan Paysan’s title.
The IWS Tag Team Title Champions, Mean and Green, Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom, are no longer champions. Dru Onyx is taking a wrestling sabbatical for his health, according to his partner the Green Phantom, “Dru Onyx has some problems internally with his organs.” The Phantom was prepared to defend his two belts on his own, but IWS Owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny forced the Green Phantom to take as his partner a man without a match for the Medley, the most decorated wrestler in IWS history, Sexxxy Eddy. The Phantom and Eddy have a long history of butting heads, but the Green Phantom does have a history of teaming successfully with a sexy baby oil covered wrestling star (EXesS as part of the tag team champions Green Oil). More importantly, the Green Phantom has never lost a match at the Medley. Can the Ninjaz take advantage of a fresh new team, break the Phantom’s win streak and win back their IWS tag team titles?
The Human Car Crash, Necro Butcher has never set foot in the IWS ring, but he casts a large and ominous shadow over IWS history. During Combat Zone Wrestling’s Tournament of Death, Necro Butcher broke the Green Phantom’s nose with his first punch and cracked the Phantom’s orbital socket with his second, before the two men brawled their way into the hearts of the fans at ringside. Necro won that match, but lost to another IWS star, Lufisto, in Ontario’s Tournament of Death last year, but not before breaking Lufisto’s hand with his skull. During that same tournament, the now IWS champion Viking lost to Necro Butcher in an earlier round. Did Viking learn enough from that match to be able to defeat this American Hardcore Icon?
In the most anticipated wrestling return to Quebec in years, Canadian native Christian Cage will be coming back home as the NWA World Heavyweight Champion. He may not be placing his title at risk as he teams with “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer, but he may be putting something even more precious on the line – his health. IWS Owner, PCP Crazy F’N Manny angered at Christian’s decision to tag with Boyer will be throwing against the two men two of the most vicious sadistic heavy-weight veterans that this country has ever seen: “Paranoid” Jake Matthews and the three time WWF tag team champion, WCW hardcore champion, TNA X-Division Battle Royal winner and ECW veteran, Pierre Carl Ouellet. And if those two psychopaths can not get the job done, Manny will be in their corner to help with the destruction.
The biggest question that you need to ask yourself: Can you afford to miss a show that promises to be the Canadian show of the year?
The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
Maybe the guys at Winamp tuned into that episode of Wrestling Observer Live a few years ago where some idiot caller called in and said Bam Bam Bigelow had 'died' in a car accident. God, I hate those fucking types of people.