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The W - Guest Columns - IWS Payback's A Bitch Official Results (Enter X)
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

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An IWS Press Release

Internet Wrestling Syndicate
Montreal, Québec, CANADA

Sunday, November 23rd, 2003


X crashes the Arsenal’s party

X, the masked superstar from the NWA/TNA, stunned fans of the IWS when he stormed the ring and attacked the IWS champion the Arsenal at the conclusion of Payback’s A Bitch. The Arsenal and his goons, the Hardcore Ninjaz, were in the process of celebrating their victory over Sexxxy Eddy and the Flying Hurricanes. X declared that he had come to the IWS to take the Arsenal’s IWS title. This news was greeted enthusiastically by the capacity crowd that filled the Skratch Saturday night.

X made his NWA/TNA debut November 5th, during the Nashville based promotions weekly pay-per-view event. He made an immediate impact winning the X division battle royale to become a leading contender for the X division title. Before Payback’s A Bitch started, Brian the Guppie, from Team 990’s Between the Ropes, announced that the NWA/TNA had given the IWS special permission to play the X division battle royale in its entirety.

Commissioner Joseph Fitzmorris started off the action at Payback’s A Bitch by bringing the Westmount Playboy, Kid Kamikaze and the Career Killer Kurt Lauderdale to the ring. Calling out Don Francesco, the Commissioner apologized to the Chomedey crime lord for accidentally costing his team the victory and a shot at the IWS titles at the previous show. The Commissioner promised that if Don Francesco’s boys beat Kid Kamikaze and Kurt Lauderdale that he would give them a shot at the titles at the next show. Don Francesco accepted and then announced, “Commissioner, you had better not mess up again. Eric Mastrocola screwed up a job for me so I had Tomassino put him in the dumpster out back. I decided that the only people that you can really trust in this business are your family. So I called my older brother and had him send my nephew to be Tomassino’s new partner: Dan Paysan!”

In the following bout, Dan Paysan proved why he is considered one of Canada’s finest young cruiser-weights, Tomassino and Kurt Lauderdale took turns demonstrating their power and Kid Kamikaze continued his quest to earn the respect of the fans as the best technician in the IWS. In the end, Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris proved to be the difference as Dan Paysan caught a chair from the Commissioner just in time for Kid Kamikaze to drive it back into his face with an Elevator Shining Wizard. Kid Kamikaze finished off the dazed Dan Paysan with a roll-up at 9:28.

Dru Onyx was scheduled to face Shane Simmons at Payback’s A Bitch. Sadly, due to an injury, Shane Simmons was unable to fulfill this commitment. An angry Dru Onyx came to the ring, accused Simmons of cowardice and threw out an open challenge. His challenge was answered by Los Latinos, who combined weigh less than Onyx’ 325 pounds of “Canadian Mean!” Dru Onyx won the impromptu handicap match, using a combination of a Boston Crab and a Camel Clutch to force both Latinos to tap at 5:51. After the match, still annoyed that the pint-sized Peruvians would consider themselves worthy of challenging him, Dru Onyx grabbed a barbed wire bat. Before he could attack Los Latinos with it, PCP Crazy F’N Manny hit the ring to stop him from using the bat on them. Manny succeeded in protecting Los Latinos, but he couldn’t protect himself as Dru Onyx turned on him and hit him with the barbed wire bat and followed up with several sickening chair shots.

Beef Wellington found himself outnumbered in his singles match against Fred le Merveille as Fred brought the full Syndicat de Lutte Internet to ringside with him. Protesting that he really did not hate French people, Beef tried to distract le SLI with gifts of Mae West and Pepsi (Diet Pepsi for Mark le Grizzly.) Using his speed and smarts, not to mention his crowd-pleasing top rope ass punch, Beef Wellington was able to use le SLIs numbers against them. He was poised to win the match by putting Fred le Merveille through a laminated Titanic poster with his trademark E. Coli tiger pile driver, when Beef’s girlfriend and valet Elsa Bangz unexpectedly betrayed Beef with a low blow. Fred won the match with a running knee at 12:50.

After the match, the combined SLI including Elsa Bangz spray painted “SLI” and the shape of a fleur de lis in blue paint on Beef’s prone form. The worst part of Elsa’s betrayal is that after being forced from his Westmount home last month after losing to Kid Kamikaze, Beef had been living with her. The former Westmount Warrior is now homeless.

The long anticipated match between the IWS Odd Couple and tag champions the Green Phantom and EXcesS69 and their challengers Quebec City’s Xtreme Revolution more than lived up to expectations. EXcesS69 and Nightmare Manson began the match with a five minute exhibition of submission wrestling. The crowd cheered every counter and reversal as the two men stretched each other to the breaking point and beyond. Then Crazy Crusher and the Green Phantom got involved and the match became a showcase for a flurry of hardcore action climaxing with Crazy Crusher doing a moonsault with a chair from off one of the elevated equipment platforms surrounding the ring. After many two counts for both teams, EXcesS69 was on the verge of forcing Crazy Crusher to tap out, when Crusher’s partner Nightmare Manson rolled the two men into a pin for Crusher and the win at 18:21.

The stunned crowd gave a big ovation to the team from Quebec City who are now double champions holding the tag team belts in both CCW and IWS. No one was sure how the Green Phantom would react to losing the gold, given the long history of antagonism between him and EXcesS69, but in the end the Phantom hugged his tag team partner and both men handed over their tag belts to Xtreme Revolution in a show of good sportsmanship rarely seen in the IWS.

Kevin Steen has been thrilling Quebec crowds for the past three months putting on the best match of the night every night that he has wrestled. In fact, Quebec wrestling fans are beginning to believe that Kevin Steen is almost as good as he thinks he is. During Payback’s A Bitch, Kevin Steen collided with the Mexican sensation El Generico. The two men battered each other into a stupor shifting from technical wrestling to high flying to stiff blows like two wrestling Ferraris. In the end, El Generico reversed Kevin Steen’s attempt at a third package pile driver into a roll-up and the win at 20:52. Knowing that he was lucky to escape with the win, El Generico offered his hand to Kevin Steen, but the furious and embarrassed Steen ignored El Generico’s congratulations and stalked to the back.

The main event of Payback’s A Bitch saw six men who truly despise one another clash in a tag team battle. Sexxxy Eddy has no love for either the Arsenal or his goons the Hardcore Ninjaz after they stole his chance at being the IWS’ first ever three time champion. His team mates, the Flying Hurricanes, have a grudge with the Hardcore Ninjaz after being attacked by the Ninjaz for daring to get cheered by the crowd more they were. This six man tag saw the men who call themselves the “Fan Favourites” the Arsenal and the Hardcore Ninjaz come to grips with the true Fan Favourites of the IWS, Eddy and the Flying Hurricanes. During the wild, violent, hate-filled melee that followed, Eddy and the Flying Hurricanes got some small measure of revenge, but in the end the cheating tactics of the Arsenal and the Hardcore Ninjaz proved too much. The finish came as Kenny the Bastard was isolated in the ring with Eddy and Takao on the outside. The Arsenal picked up Kenny for a Fisherman’s Buster, but before delivering it the Hardcore Ninjaz picked up the Arsenal on their shoulders to make it a Super Fisherman’s Buster or as the so-called Fan Favourites call it “The Move of the Night!” This won them the match at 22:37.

It was as the Arsenal and the Hardcore Ninjaz were celebrating their victory that X hit the ring. With help from Eddy and Takao, X disposed of the Hardcore Ninjaz and turned his attentions on the IWS champion. Eddy and the Hurricanes held the Arsenal down as X delivered a mat shaking top rope cannon ball. X then announced to the cheers of the crowd that he had come to the IWS to win the Arsenal’s belt.

Only time will tell if X’s appearance is merely the prelude to appearances of other NWA/TNA superstars in the IWS, or if IWS stars will make their debut in Nashville. One thing is certain, the Arsenal is a marked man.

The IWS presents Season’s Beatings scheduled for Saturday, December 13th, at Le Skratch, 965 Cure Labelle, Chomedey, Laval, Québec. Doors open at 8:30 pm. Tickets are twelve dollars. For information about the show e-mail or visit the Internet Wresting Syndicate at their web-site: For information about IWS merchandise & DVDs, our wholesale prices or our customer referral program e-mail or order from

"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
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