Fallen Angel Wins Fall – Loses Face IWS Freedom to Fight 2007
A journey of a million miles begins with but a single step, and for the International Wrestling Syndicate’s Max Boyer the impossible quest that he began on Saturday night is the goal to prove that he is equal to his classmate, the man many believe is the greatest Canadian technical wrestler of his generation, “Mr. Wrestling” Kevin Steen. In order to do that, Max has decided to walk in the steps of the journey that Kevin Steen walked from regional talent to international superstar. That first step, that first hurdle: TNA’s “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels.
The one-line results will record that Christopher Daniels won the match and beat Max Boyer. What those meager results will obscure is that the true victory was achieved by Max Boyer who proved over seventeen hard-hitting minutes that he was every bit Daniels’ equal. In the end, a desperate Daniels had to practically throttle IWS referee Bakais to get enough leverage to stay on his feet, and it was only the distraction of that maneuver and a veteran tug of the tights that gave Daniels an opening for the pin-fall victory.
Results Quick and Dirty IWS Freedom to Fight 2007 Saturday, November 3rd Bogey’s, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA Attendance 341
Unsanctioned Street Fight: Beef Wellington vs. Viking Beef beat Viking like a dog for 5:18
Shayne Hawke and EXesS vs. The Missionaries of Violence (Sexxxy Eddy and Lufisto) EXesS forced Eddy to tap to his modified Stretch Muffler in 16:25
Jimmy K vs. Kid Kamikaze Jimmy K pinned Kid Kamikaze with a variant on the Fisherman’s Buster after 9:25
SLI 2007 (Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard) vs. Jimmy Stone and Dan Paysan Jimmy Stone and Dan Paysan beat the SLI 2007 in 12:06 pinning Kenny the Bastard with Career Suicide, a combined Kryptonite Crunch/Wop Drop.
IWS Tag Team Title Match (Best Two out of Three Falls): IWS Tag Team Champions The Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Stupefied) vs. 2.0 (Jagged and Shane Matthews The Super Smash Brothers won in two straight falls. Player Uno won the first fall with a flash roll-up on Jagged at 5:25. Stupefied won the second fall with a 450 top rope splash on Shane Matthews at 9:22.
IWS Title Match: IWS Champion PCP Crazy F’N Manny vs. Twiggy PCP Crazy F’N Manny beat Twiggy in 10:34 with a Junkie Driver through a table.
Main Event: IWS Canadian Champion Max Boyer vs. TNA’s Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels Christopher Daniels won the non-title match after 17:00 with a roll-up while pulling the tights.
Freedom to Fight 2007 began with Manny showing off his new title belt accompanied by his goons, 2.0 (Jagged and Shane Matthews). After crowing about how his run as champion has just produced the best attendance at Bogey’s in nearly a year, Manny asked Beef Wellington to come out and explain why he had got involved in the title match at Blood, Sweat and Beers 2007. Not that Beef was planning on explaining anyway, but before he got much of a chance to, Viking interrupted - sending Manny, Shane and Jagged fleeing from the ring with just his music.
There was no bell and no referees and not much in the way of civilization when Beef and Viking clashed. They beat the shit out of each other for more than five minutes before Beef emerged the victor standing over Viking’s beaten, bloody body with a demonic grin on his face. Beef also had holes in his head and thumb-tacks still stuck in his skull, so it was not a victory without its costs. With Viking temporarily beaten, Manny took his chance to rid himself of a thorn in his side and came out of the back with Viking’s gear, throwing him out of the ring, out of Bogey’s and out of the IWS.
The “Bad Penny” Shayne Hawke was not even supposed to be on this show (to my tremendous relief), but when Tomassino was forced to cancel his appearance as EXesS’ partner against the Missionaries of Violence, Shayne practically broke his leg rushing to take his place. As would be expected, the IWS’ biggest misogynist, EXesS spent most of the match trying to beat Lufisto into submission, but the IWA-MS Queen of the Death-Match Champion is made of sterner stuff than that and gave EXesS as good as she got. Always looking for the weakest link, EXesS was forced to find his victory against Lufisto’s partner, a man that EXesS has historically has success against, Sexxxy Eddy, forcing Eddy to tap to his modified Stretch Muffler submission at 16:25 while the most annoying man in Quebec, “Le Maudit Roux” Shayne Hawke ran interference and kept Lufisto distracted.
After the match, Lufisto chased EXesS and Hawke to the back with a chair. Rather than thanking his partner for the save, Eddy snapped, attacking Lufisto from behind and braining her multiple times with her own chair. As the crowd chanted, “You tapped out!” Eddy grabbed a mike to rant, “I am sick of you Lufisto! I am sick of this team! Have we ever even won one match as a team? Hottie Holly makes me win matches! Lufisto doesn’t! We could have had it so good together the three of us, but you weren’t interested in a threesome. And I was even going to let you fuck me in the ass with a strap-on! Consider this relationship over!”
I am now required to plug Holly’s web-site www.hottiehollie.com . And I swear on a stack of Bibles that the above is a substantially accurate quote of what Eddy said.
In the Halloween spirit, Kid Kamikaze came to the ring wearing the mask of Dos Caras, a Lucha Libre wrestler that has proved to be an inspiration to Kid Kamikaze in the past, but honoring his idol did Kid Kamikaze little good. For every submission that Double K pulled out of his bag of tricks, Jimmy K answered with a counter and a submission of his own. Those only familiar with Jimmy K from watching the IWS (like say Kid Kamikaze) might believe that he is only a high impact high-flyer. As Kid K learned to his cost, Jimmy K was mentored in old school submission wrestling by legendary Quebec trainer Mark le Grizzly. Jimmy K won the match, dropping Kid Kamikaze on his head with what looked like a modified Fisherman’s Buster at 9:25.
After Jimmy K’s victory, an incensed Don Paysan, still smarting over his loss to Jimmy K during Hardcore Heat 2007, attacked with the help of his new tag team partner Jimmy Stone, rolling over Jimmy K like the Capone Mob taking out Bugs Moran. Jimmy was saved by the unexpected help of Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard. Fred, incensed at the loss of the Montreal Canadiens at the hands of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the last ninety seconds of the game on Saturday just prior to this match, came to the ring to beat up some Torontonians and none of those being available decided that a pair of Filthy Italians would do just as well. In a match that I can only describe as “eye-poke-a-riffic”, the SLI 2007 controlled for much of the match only for Kenny to succumb to Jimmy and Dan’s new double team move “Career Suicide” a combined Kryptonite Crunch/Wop Drop at 12:06.
Despite 2.0’s protests that it is scientifically impossible, lightning did strike twice as the Super Smash Brothers proved that their victory of the IWS tag team titles at Blood, Sweat and Beers 2007 was no fluke, beating former champions Jagged and Shane Matthews in two straight falls. Player Uno won the first fall at 5:25 with a flash roll-up of Jagged. He was instrumental in the second fall, dazing Shane Matthews with the Goomba Stomp, just before his partner Stupefied hit Shane with a top rope 450 splash for the pin at 9:22.
Manny came to the ring for his scheduled title match claiming that no one had answered his open challenge and that IWS referee Yan should announce him the victor by default. Before that could happen, Twiggy’s music hit and the IWS’ pint-size rocker hit the ring to challenge Manny… and to remind everyone that he had beaten Manny once before at Know Your Enemies 2006. Despite some early success, it appeared that Manny would use his superior size and strength to win the encounter, gaining what seemed like an insurmountable advantage after pitching Twiggy from the ring like Tom Brady passing up the middle to Wes Welker… and wiping out most of the front row in the process.
Twiggy’s luck turned when Manny angered the wrestling Gods by pulling Twiggy up from a certain three count at 5:43 of the contest. Rallying with the support of the crowd, it seemed like we were about to witness the crowning of the IWS’ most unlikely “heavy”-weight champion ever. To the fans’ dismay, 2.0 hit the ring to save their boss, but right behind them was Twiggy’s tag team partner Vanessa Kraven, who cleared the ring for Twiggy and helped him bring a table into the ring. After the table refused to sell for a Twiggy senton splash on top of Manny, Twiggy crushed both the table and Manny with a top rope double foot stomp. You could have given Manny an old school King Kong Twiggy five count and Manny’s shoulders would never so much as twitched. Unfortunately, for a three count or for a five count, for any count, you need a ref and Yan was busy being yanked to the outside by 2.0. Their interruption and diversion of Vanessa Kraven gave Manny a chance to recover and kill Twiggy with his own table and a Junkie Driver at 10:34.
Look, I am not a guy to hand out snowflakes like they were Smarties, and you have no idea how much it pains me to say this, but when it came to straight out FUN, this was the Match of the Night. It had everything. Twiggy playing missile. Manny getting his come-uppance for his arrogance. 2.0 acting like dicks. Vanessa Kraven bringing the crowd to its feet with the timeliest run-in ever. A no-selling son-of-a-bitch table. (Those are always fun.) Twiggy crushing Manny’s chest with a double foot stomp. It even had a Pornstar Juan cameo. Just FUN FUN FUN FUN. And Manny is going to be gloating about being involved in the Match of the Night for months. Kill me now!
Christopher Daniels may have gotten the pin against Max Boyer in the main event, but after he made the mistake of calling Max a coward for refusing to put his IWS Canadian title on the line in the match (a decision that was not Max’ to make and a decision that Max strongly disagreed with) it was Christopher Daniels who ended up on his back, seeing stars, as Max taunted him with the Canadian title and challenged him to a match for the belt at the Medley during Praise the Violence 2008 on January 26th .
I am required to point out that Max was seriously off the reservation when he made this challenge. If Manny had not been flat on his back on a Ping-Pong table nursing his ribs when Max grabbed the mike, the volume on the mike would almost certainly have been killed. First of all, Max would have to still be IWS Canadian Champion at Praise the Violence, by no means a sure thing. Secondly, and almost as importantly, Manny would have to agree to fly Christopher Daniels back in and risk the chance that one of his IWS champions would be a wrestler who lives a few thousand miles away.
Also, I need to address the fact that Eddie Kingston was announced for our next show Season’s Beatings 2007. Given that he had to cancel his Ottawa appearance, it is by no means certain at this time that he will be available to come to Montreal on December 1st, although we certainly hope that he will. More news soon.
I have a very, very, very limited number of posters from Freedom to Fight 2007 signed by both Christopher Daniels and Max Boyer. If you want them contact me by e-mail or MSN at Llakor@hotmail.com Buying tickets to Season’s Beatings 2007 and Praise the Violence 2008 will probably convince me, but I will listen to other offers.
The IWS presents: Season’s Beatings, Saturday, December 1st, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie Est (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00 pm, show starts at 8:00 pm, tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
The IWS proudly presents: Praise the Violence, Saturday, January 26th, 2008 at the beautiful, downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 PM, show starts at 9 PM. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+. Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
Whoa - I thought it was going to be a wrestling valet. Maybe I'm just naive. Either way, I'm glad I wasn't at work!
(edited by hayden on 7.11.07 0733)
I was going to throw in a line about how Hollie was not at the show because she was off shooting Pron in Los Angeles for sites like brazzers.com and naughtyamerica.com but I either forgot to do it or couldn't figure out how to phrase it properly.
(How about: Hollie was not at Freedom to Fight 2007 because she was in Los Angeles shooting Pron for sites like brazzers.com and naughtyamerica.com. Yeah, that probably would have worked.)
I guess I sometimes forget that not every body has read every report and they don't necessarily know that Sexxxy Eddy is a raunchier version of the Val Venis gimmick.
So, yes, sorry, NSFW. My bad.
Of course, on the other hand, what were you expecting of a valet for a wrestler named Sexxxy Eddy who I just quoted as talking about threesomes and getting fucked up the ass with a strap-on?