Onyx fought off three men in front of a capacity crowd at Le Skratch in Chomedey, Laval, to successfully defend his IWS Heavyweight title last night. In theory, Onyx was only supposed to face Evil Ninja in the main event. In practice, the IWS heavyweight champion was forced to confront the combined forces of the so-called “Fan Favourites”: Arsenal, Evil Ninja and TV’s Iron Mike Patterson.
In the opening bout, Darren Knife and Jeff Johnson resumed the match that they had begun at Freedom to Fight, only to be interrupted by the Career Killer Kurt Lauderdale. Kurt dominated and was poised to win the three way match when Hi-5 got into a ringside scuffle with Elsa Bangz and accidentally distracted the referee from his three count. Darren Knife and Jeff Johnson took advantage to combine forces for a quick roll up and pin of Kurt Lauderdale at 4:56.
The scheduled match between Los Latinos and le Syndicat de Lutte Internet was threatened when Latino Kid was stopped at the border. Viking Villeneuve and Damian DuBois graciously offered to postpone the match until the next show, Hardcore Heat, July 12th. When Latino Mysterio agreed, Viking and Damian attacked, destroying him with Le Tueur des Policiers. Afterwards, they issued an open challenge that was answered by the Flying Hurricanes. In a hard-hitting match-up, Takao face planted his own partner with the Unpredictable Motion on top of Damian and Viking for the pin after 7:00 of action. But the leader of the SLI, Fred le Merveille came to the ring and protested that since Viking and Damian did not understand the English count of One, Two, Three, the pin was illegal in Quebec. A flash roll-up and quick count of “Un, Deux, Trois,” gave the victory to le Syndicat de Lutte Internet.
Fred le Merveille announced that he had used his influence with the front office to book him in a match with a man who spoke neither English nor French: the Tijuana native El Generico. The Latin Luchador showed an impressive array of offensive moves brutally battering Fred both inside and outside of the ring. After a brain buster and a 450 splash, El Generico was poised for the victory, but Damian and Viking pulled the referee out of the ring. Fred quickly rebounded to win the match with his “101” swinging Pedigree at 15:28.
The IWS tag team champions, Hi-5, defended their titles against the most hard core tag team in Canada: from CCW in Quebec City, Xtreme Revolution. Despite protests by Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze that they weren’t hard core wrestlers, the challengers Nightmare Manson and Crazy Crusher brought barbed wire boards to the ring. The brutal match that followed left all four men bleeding and saw Beef Wellington sacrifice his beloved Titanic poster when he stapled it to Nightmare Manson’s face. Despite being blinded by the poster, Nightmare Manson was able to combine with Crazy Crusher to hit the Revolutionizer, their devastating double team vertaebreaker. When Crazy Crusher pinned Kid Kamikaze, however, Beef Wellington blind sided the referee and tricked Crusher by loudly counting the pin himself. As Crusher mistakenly raised his hands in triumph, Beef ambushed him with his E. Coli straight jacket pile driver for the win at 13:00.
Earlier in the night, Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris announced that Arsenal’s spot as number one contender would be up for grabs in the Nightmare Tag Partners match that pitted the team of the Green Phantom and EXcesS69 against Arsenal and the Triple X Sex Exxxpress, Sexxxy Eddy. With a title shot on the line, the tag match quickly became a free for all. The desperate battle demonstrated just how badly each man wanted a shot at Onyx’s title. In the end, confusion reigned as Green Phantom pinned Eddy with a top rope Phantasm while EXcesS69 simultaneously pinned Arsenal after 18:08. As senior IWS official P-Nut argued with rookie referee Mop, Arsenal declared that the controversy left him still as the Number One Contender.
In the main event, Onyx fought off a sword waving Iron Mike Patterson, a dagger wielding Evil Ninja and a chair swinging Arsenal to defend his heavyweight title. After suplexing TV’s Iron Mike Patterson and spearing Arsenal, Onyx finished off the Evil Ninja with a Sidewalk Slam into a board of light tubes at 15:14. After his victory, CFL prospect Adrien Kellman from the University of Manitoba and Nubis recording artist Kez from Boston joined Onyx in the ring to celebrate his victory.
The next IWS show is Hardcore Heat, scheduled for July 12th, at Le Skratch, 965 Cure Labelle, Chomedey, Laval, Québec. Tickets are twelve dollars at the door. For information about the show e-mail ticket@syndicatewrestling.com or visit the Internet Wresting Syndicate at their web-site: http://www.syndicatewrestling.com. For information about IWS merchandise & DVDs e-mail merchandise@syndicatewrestling.com or order from http://www.emaxwrestlingtapes.com.
(edited by Llakor on 16.6.03 2041) "Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
Before they joined the IWS last spring, Beef Wellington and Kamikaze Kid had a gay gimmick going on in another fed. (When they first started in the IWS when people yelled "You Suck", Beef would yell back "Not any More")
As far as the ass punch is concerned it was a throw-away move that Beef used to do because he refuses to do top-rope moves and it became hugely over all on its own. Especially when Beef broke his hand legit doing the move on Latino Mysterio. (Or as Beef called it, "the dumbest wrestling injury ever") It was actually a "Trans Meta Carpal Fracture" whatever that is.
In the IWS, Beef is one of those heels that is so entertaining that it's hard for him to stay heel. He cuts a promo about the fans of the IWS being so dirt-poor that none of them have an indoor pool like him, and ever since he gets chants of "indoor pool" for instance.
Wasn't Beef Wellington an old gimmick of the Dynamite Kid?
Over 1450 posts and still never a Wiener of the Day!
Oliva: You are the weakest link! Goodbye!
Stewie: Ahahaha. Oh God, that's funny. That's really funny. You write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. 'You are the weakest link. Goodbye!' You know I've never heard anyone make that joke before. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference that outside program before. Because that's what she says on the show, right? Hmmm? 'You are the weakest link. Goodbye!' And ye...ye..yet you've taken it and....and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. What a clever, smart girl you must be. To come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmmmm...that's so fresh too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. Mmmm? Cuz i'm here God you're so funny!
I hope they've realized that Shane Douglas is worthless and not worth the money they pay to fly his sorry ass in. I've been hoping it for YEARS. He's a cockroach, he's not going away.