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The W - Guest Columns - Inside The Ropes - Featuring the REAL IWC 1000
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CANADIAN BULLDOG
Andouille








Since: 5.3.03
From: TORONTO

Since last post: 3980 days
Last activity: 1601 days
ICQ:  
#1 Posted on
Inside The Ropes
By Canadian Bulldog
July 10, 2003

Yo! It's time to bust out some Bulldoganomics….

It's time, once again, for Inside The Ropes,
Where we deliver to you, all the straight-up gossip,
No way that yours truly is ever gonna lose,
And now it's time, to deliver the report.
World life!


Hey, everyone, all rapping aside, it's me, Canadian Bulldog and this is another JAM-PACKED edition of Inside The Ropes. But before we get things underway, it's time for one of my patented Trivia Questions. Answer at the end of this column:

Who was the first World Champion of the WWF?
(A) Superstar Billy Graham
(B) Bruno Santamartina
(C) Diesell
(D) Some Other Guy
(E) Diamand Dallas Page
(F) All of the above

Last week, I promised you an interview with The Greatest One, The New People's Champion, The Rock! And now, without further ado, here it is…

This is a FULL, UNEDITED, TRANSCRIPT. You were warned!

Oh, and websitemasters: feel free to use this interview on your site. Just give credit to me and the folks at BackslashWrestling.

TR: Hello?
CB: Hello, how are you doing?
TR: I'm good. Who's this?
CB: Canadian Bulldog. From Inside The Ropes.
TR: Okay…. And where do I know you from?
CB: Possibly Inside The Ropes. My wrestling column.
TR: Why am I being called for a wrestling column?
CB: Question number one: Why did you leave the WWE earlier this year? Was it to film movies?
TR: Well, I'm doing movies right now, yeah, but I think….
CB: Question number two: Why did you tell Stone Cold to go the F home?
TR: Wait… wait…. Hold up…
CB: Question number three: How did it feel to lose to Goldenberg during his first match back?
TR: Wait! Stop!!! Who are you looking to talk to?
CB: The Rock.
TR: (Laughs uncontrollably) Kid… you have the wrong number. This isn't "The" Rock. I'm Chris Rock, the actor.
CB: Oh… I'm sorry.
CR: (Laughing for a while longer) No, its all good, man. Now, did you want to ask ME any questions for your little column?
CB: No thanks! Bye!

We hope to have part two of this EXCLUSIVE JAM-PACKED INTERVIEW… soon!!!

This Just In! Randy Orton is probably the best young WWE superstar EVER! This third-generation superstar has it in his blood; he's the son of former gladiator Randy Poffo and grandson of High Chief Peter Maivia, who's the son of The Rock. There's no telling how far this youngster can go!!!

Yours truly was at this week's Smack! Down tapings in my home town of Toronto, Alberta. Without giving away too much from the best Smack! Down EVER, here are a few spoilers:
- They tape Velocity before Smack! Down, but on TV it looks like it's two separate shows. Who knew?
- Matt Hardy Version 1.1, The Bastion Brothers and John Ceno all appeared on the power-packed card.
- Brock Lesnor wrestled in the main event!!! And, for all of you who were wondering, yes, Big Show is bigger than he looks on TV!!!


Update on Hulk Hollywood Hogan: He's still fired from the WWE.

Now that WWE Corporation has cleared its payroll of no-talent guys like Crash Hardy and Saturn, could The Man They Call Sting be headed in? According to a thread on the 411 Mania message board, yes!!!

Where exactly is Big Sex Killer Kevin Nash these days? This youngster is full of promise and I'm pleading with the WWE braintrust not to give up on him yet.

Speaking of lists, everyone in the IWC (Internet Wrestling Corporation) has seen by now the ICW 100 written by top-ranking journalist Flee. Well, not to toot my own horn, as Tugboat Thomas used to say, but yours truly has come up with the best IWC 100 EVER! Here it is, in no particular order:

(1) Christopher Robert Zimmerman (2) Scott Keith (3) The Guy Who Used To Write A Column on Scoop's (4) The Real Deal RJR Reynolds (5) Derek Kurrgan (6) Scott Keith (7) Hugh Morris (8) Dave Scaia (9) Bob Ryder Fakin' (10) The Guy Who Keeps Telling Me My Column Is Funny (11) Scott Keith (12) Flae (13) Chrissy Hyatt (14) Matt Hardy (not the wrestler, the guy who does Satire) (15) Sgt. Slaughter (16) The Kids At Wwe.com (17) Hashish (18) Mojo Mitchell (19) Dean Malenko (20) Scott Keith (21) The Rowdy Scotsman (22) My Buddy Phil Chertok (who doesn't write about wrestling, it’s more of a shout-out to him) (23) The Other Guy at 1wrestling.com (24) Mr. Tito Santana (25) Tito Santana (the wrestler!) (26) Z-Man (27) Bryan Pillman (28) P.N. Newz (29) El Giga… oh, wait. Sorry, I was reading from a 1991 WCW Top 10 list…. (30) Jebediah Lund (31) The Honky Tonky Man (32) Scott Keith (33) Jeremy Boris (34) Good Ol' JR (35) My Buddy Stu Stone (see #22 for background) (36) Rajahwwf.com (37) B. Brian Blair (38) Uh…. That's all I can think of.

Sources tell me that Hog and Animal, The Legion of Doom aren't headed back to WWE despite their kick-ass tryout a few weeks ago.

The Immortal Zak Gowan defeated Bigshow last month in a match of the year candidate to renew his contract with the WWF! I have to say I was impressed by this young Mexican. To me, I couldn't even tell he was using a fake arm.

Not really a wrestling-related comment, but the best movie this summer? By far, it has to be Legally Blind 2!!! Trust me on this one, folks…

Who will win the upcoming tournament to win the newly created U.S. Title? Don't quote me on this, but I have a feeling it will be R – D – V!!!


And now it's time for questions and answers, or as I like to call it, Q & A. We only got one question this week, so I'll answer that one. But please please please send in your questions, and I'll try to get to them all. Email me at Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com

Q: How did you get to be such a good Internet columnist? You're the best one out there. LOL!
A: Thanks for the compliment, Lol (is that pronounced "Lowell"?). My personal philosophy is that you can never read enough insider publications, such as Wrestling Eye or Inside Wrestling. I don't seem to find them at my newsstand much anymore, but they're still cashing in my subscription cheques, so it must just be a delay of several years.
Anyways, I would make sure to read those mags religiously. For example, I read one this week from July 1994 (Cover story: Yokozuna's deadly plot to bury The Undertaker – REVEALED!) and it was telling me insider things like what Junkyard Dog's favorite food is, and you never know when that will come in handy. That's my advice to you, and good luck Lol!

That's it for this week, folks. Be sure to send me any comments, feedback, suggestions, criticism, junk mail, advertisements, hate mail, chain mail or recipes to Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com

Until next week, remember… if you heard it here, it's…. Inside The Ropes!!!




What really happened to Hulk Hollywood Hogan?
For this and more, check out the latest Inside The Ropes at http://wienerboard.com/thread.php/id=13106
Promote this thread!
Wolfram J. Paulovich
Frankfurter








Since: 11.11.02
From: Fat City, Baby

Since last post: 6391 days
Last activity: 5761 days
#2 Posted on
That was hilarious. How many times did Scott Keith beat me? Four? And I think Flea beat me twice. Damn!



The Obtuse Angle Archive.

Burns: Smither's this beer isn't working! I don't feel any younger, or funkier....
Smithers: I'll switch to the tablespoon, sir.
asteroidboy
Andouille








Since: 22.1.02
From: Texas

Since last post: 4864 days
Last activity: 430 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95
Where exactly is Big Sex Killer Kevin Nash these days? This youngster is full of promise and I'm pleading with the WWE braintrust not to give up on him yet.

That reminded me of my favorite nickname of yours, Big Sex Kevin Nash from a few columns ago. Still makes me snicker.

Keep it up, CB.



-- Asteroid Boy


Wiener of the day: 23.7.02

"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex
"Was he no-selling?" - Me


HMD
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 2532 days
Last activity: 2532 days
#4 Posted on

    Originally posted by CANADIAN BULLDOG
    This Just In! Randy Orton is probably the best young WWE superstar EVER! This third-generation superstar has it in his blood; he's the son of former gladiator Randy Poffo and grandson of High Chief Peter Maivia, who's the son of The Rock. There's no telling how far this youngster can go!!!




This was about the damn funniest thing I've read in forever.



"Whatever I just posted above is what your mother said in bed last night."
Excalibur05
Knackwurst








Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

Since last post: 2906 days
Last activity: 2774 days
#5 Posted on
I'm Matt Hardy, now?

Neat. Legdrop! Second Rope! Oh, yeah!



Feh.
tsmstu
Chourico








Since: 12.7.03

Since last post: 6370 days
Last activity: 5818 days
#6 Posted on
nice! I went from nobody to somebody in one post!! I cannot express how honored I am to be on your list bulldog!

Somebody better call my bubby!!

To think, I have been posting on the oldschool wrestling bored (sp?) all this time in vain.

long live weiner board and long live the canadian bulldog!

Stu
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Oh thanks. Yes of course I would still write stuff if there was anything I should write about. Like, in December I thought REALLY HARD about my top 25 (WWF) matches of the year but never got around to using the list. But the time for that has passed.
- JustinShapiro, I will remember you (2002)
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