The W
Views: 97702045
Main | FAQ | Search: Y! / G | Calendar | Color chart | Log in for more!
26.7.14 0814
The W - Movies & TV - IN THE NAME OF THE KING - A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (Spoilers!)
This thread has 27 referrals leading to it
Register and log in to post!
Thread rated: 3.79
Pages: 1
(3215 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
User
Post (3 total)
Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 6 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
Uwe Boll is at it again. The director I love to hate brings us yet another film based on a video game. Either this guy's just a video game junkie or I don't know, are the rights to these games really dirt cheap or something?

This wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, considering who it's from, and I was actually surprised I didn't leave the theater spewing hate towards myself for sitting through this film. It was surprisingly fun with good to piss poor acting, insanely good effects, a script that was half laughable half entertaining, and an end theme song that is single handedly the fucking absolute worst damned song I've ever heard... and I grew up in the 70's and 80's! WOW, that song is fucking horrible.

Jason Statham stars as a farmer named Farmer. (Giggle!) He has a wife and kid and seems happy that he lives a decent life. Things go bad when the village he lives in is attacked by Krug (Orcs!)and his son is killed and his wife is taken prisoner. Farmer, who was an orphan, decides to go after them because besides being just a farmer, he's also a master marksman with a boomerang and surprising skillful at fighting... for a farmer. Remember back in the 80's when every other movie had a average joe character who was also a Ninja Master/Navy Seal/Special Forces guy who could kill you by looking at you? Yeah, they've brought that back. Anyways, Farmer, along with a long time father figure and another guy decide to go fight the Krug. Later on, a Magus and and Wood Nymph join the fray to complete the whole role playing geekiness of it all.

Chaos ensues when we find out Farmer, the orphan who loks about 40 is revealed to be the kings son... the king (Burt Reynolds) looks about 50. Doing the math isn't good for your enjoyment of the film.

Of special note, I wanna bring up Claire Forlani. I used to think she was a pretty good actress, but in this, she was fucking horrible. There's a scene with her in chains and she is told that her son is dead. You'd think this would completely crush her, but no. Actually, she gets this fucked up, dumbfounded look on her face and makes a sound that was a mix of crying and laughing. I have never seen a worse performance in my entire life. It was just horrible.

The movie itself looked expensive. If I were to guess, I'd say like 50 or 60 million. The effects were surprisingly good. During fight scenes, Ray Liota's character is able to control multiple warriors by standing in this swirling vortex thing that was, as an old RPG geek, fascinating. There were also these staged tactical battles that reminded me of Warhammer 40K or FF Tactics. It was like watching a live action RPG with the players dressing up and everything.

Overall, as I said before, it wasn't great and it didn't suck. It's more of a DVD/sit at home and get drunk kinda film.

Grade: C+(ish) (I'm being too kind, I think...)



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
Promote this thread!
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 5 hours
AIM:  
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.36
I have to say this is the only Uwe Boll movie I've considered going to see at the theater. Jason Statham is just a lot of fun, even when the movies he is in are ridiculously lame.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
CEOIII
Boudin rouge








Since: 25.7.02
From: Franklin, PA

Since last post: 26 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.00
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    Uwe Boll is at it again. The director I love to hate brings us yet another film based on a video game. Either this guy's just a video game junkie or I don't know, are the rights to these games really dirt cheap or something?


The way I understand it, Boll is a real life version of The Producers, except he gets away with it in the end. Apparently, in Germany, you can make ultra-shitty movies and get some sort of tax break over there.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UweBoll

This was an odd game to make a movie out of. Dungeon Siege was a half-ass Diablo clone, fun to pick up and play, not a real deep combat system. I haven't played the sequel, maybe they punched it up somewhat.



I'm Charlie Owens, good night, and good luck.
Thread rated: 3.79
Pages: 1
Thread ahead: Dragon Ball ( Live action)
Next thread: Strike moves
Previous thread: Dear NBC
(3215 newer) Next thread | Previous thread
Flipping over to Conan tonight I forgot that this month was when he changed over to HD. It really didn't impact me, since all I possess is a 1996 Samsung 27" tube (NOT HD, in case you had to ask,)
The W - Movies & TV - IN THE NAME OF THE KING - A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE (Spoilers!)Register and log in to post!

The W™ message board

ZimBoard
©2001-2014 Brothers Zim

This old hunk of junk rendered your page in 0.165 seconds.