Ok, so I'm auditioning for a play this weekend and I need a good one-minute comedic monologue. Any ideas? The few that I've looked at online were ok, but I think I need something that's more physical. The play I'm auditioning for is "The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (abridged)" and is a very fast, funny, physical show.
Holy shit! You're trying out for the Reduced Shakespeare Company? I LOVE the Reduced Shakespeare Company! ... The best monologue I can think of off the top of my head is Charlie Brown's "Lunchtime" monologue, which is pretty good but might not fit your time.
If you're coming from Calgary, hit Minneapolis on I-94 and go to the Mall of America. You can take some combination of 94/90/39 down from Minneapolis through Madison, Rockford and into Chicago. Or stay on 94 to go into Milwaukee.