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The W - Pro Wrestling - Impact Wrestling #437 11-22-12
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It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 22 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.73
We are going to be VERY brief, for obvious reasons. Happy Thanksgiving!

OPENING THURSDAY NIGHT NFL RECAP
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Holy crap, NBC wishes they could script comedy this funny! I mean...LOOK AT THIS!!! Tell me this isn't the funniest thing you've ever seen! God, the Jets are so awesome!
PATRIOTS 49, JETS 19

PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING!
James Storm is an idiot. That is all.

It's time for GUT CHECK with WES BRISCO! Jeremy Borash introduces his opponent...

WES BRISCO v. GARRETT BISCHOFF: GUT CHECK CHALLENGE
We get joined in mid-match by KURT ANGLE. This one ends with a reversal sequence ending in Brisco hitting Kofi Kingston's S.O.S. for the pin.

WINNER: Wes Brisco - Announcers put this over as the first time a Gut Check challenger has won his challenge. Half-decent match given the participants.

Post-match, Kurt celebrates with Brisco. Brisco and Bischoff exchange a man hug.

Al Snow is with the Gut Check winners, letting them know that tonight is a special Gut Check edition of Open Fight Night, so they can call out whoever they want.

Ad break

Backstage, Kurt congratulates Wes Brisco on his win. Brisco credits Kurt's coaching for his win. Man, is Kurt going to look stupid when Wes is revealed as one of the Aces.

JOEY RYAN joins us for our next segment. Ryan grabs the mic and notes that Hulk Hogan has been trying to separate him and Matt Morgan. But he has a plan, you see. He and Morgan can't be separated if they win the tag titles. So to get the ball rolling, Ryan calls out Chavo Guerrero.

JOEY RYAN v. CHAVO GUERRERO
Chavo looks to finish with the Three Amigos and Frog Splash, but here's MATT MORGAN with a big chokeslam for the DQ.

WINNER BY DQ: Chavo Guerrero - One of Ryan's best matches to date. I like the dynamic of this feud.

Post-match, HERNANDEZ runs off the heels.

Outside the arena, Austin Aries says that there's someone that doesn't need a gut check, but a reality check. We'll never guess who he's calling out, but he plans to make it a family affair, in the spirit of the holidays.

Ad break

SAM SHAW comes out for our next segment. He talks about the honor of making it through Gut Check, but he wants to call out the first Gut Check winner, so he calls out Alex Silva.

SAM SHAW v. ALEX SILVA
Silva works as the heel here. And man, this match is indy-riffic! Big spots getting blown, exaggerated basic spots, and just general sloppiness. Shaw wins with the guillotine legdrop, called the Breaking Point.

WINNER: Sam Shaw - These guys need to be working with more experienced folks, because this was pretty ugly.

Backstage, Eric Young and ODB walk into Hulk Hogan's office, with EY wearing a turkey suit. Young notes that the Turkey Suit Challenge is a tradition in TNA and he wants to keep it going. Hogan points out that it's Open Fight Night and they can do whatever they want. Hogan muses that he wants to be Eric Young when he grows up. Well, ok then.

Ad break

Backstage, Eric Young and ODB run into Robbies E & T. E points out that T had the displeasure of wearing the suit last year and that T's been scarred since. You can see it in his face! Jesse and Tara enter the picture, wanting another piece of EY. EY offers to call out both Robbie E and Jesse for a Turkey three-way! EY and ODB exit the picture, as we get a quick bonding moment between Robbie E and Jesse. Holy crap, those two are a PERFECT match!

Here's a video package on the Aces & Eights.

In the Aces & Eights Happy Fun Time Clubhouse, Bane calls another meeting to order. It's time to throw another dart, with the Aces looking pleased over the result.

Ad break

Next, we're joined by CHRISTIAN YORK. York says he's lucky to be where he is after 16 years, but he wants to see how far he can ride his luck. With that in mind, he calls out Jeff Hardy!

CHRISTIAN YORK v. "THE CHARISMATIC ENIGMA" JEFF HARDY: NON-TITLE MATCH
York holds his own, but he can't overcome Jeff and the power of makeup and pasty white shirtlessness. Twist of Fate, Swanton, goodbye.

WINNER: Jeff Hardy - Good long match. I think this match is going to do a lot of good for York, because he hung in with the champ very well. They need to do something with him while they have the chance.

Post-match, York raises Jeff's arm and they share a man hug. As Jeff celebrates in the corner, BOBBY ROODE swoops in and destroys York with the Double A Spinebuster! Here's a spear for Jeff! Roode grabs the title and tells Jeff and the camera that the belt is coming home at Final Resolution! Hit Roode's music! It should be noted that James Storm's name is never mentioned through any of this. Yeah, I'm REALLY confident in where he's going.

Backstage, Brooke Hogan asks Taeler Hendrix if she's ready. Brooke tells her to use her nerves as adrenaline...or something.

Ad break

TAELER HENDRIX comes out for our next segment. She wants to see how well she measures up, so she calls out Tara!

TAELER HENDRIX v. TARA (w/JESSE): NON-TITLE MATCH
Taeler's plucky and offers some flurries, but she eventually falls to the Widow's Peak.

WINNER: Tara - Hendrix might be worth something if they decide to get behind her.

Ad break

ERIC YOUNG (w/ODB) v. ROBBIE E(w/ROBBIE T) v. JESSE (w/TARA): TURKEY SUIT CHALLENGE
Your standard Eric Young comedy match. E and Jesse work together through the first part of the match, but the alliance falls apart when they fight over who's covering Young. Why would that matter if Young's the only one who would wear the suit? Whatever. They start fighting, leading to Young making the babyface comeback. Heel miscommunication between the Robbies eliminates E and Young reverses the Steroid Stunner attempt and rolls up Jesse for the pin.

WINNER: Eric Young - Nothing offensive here.

Post-match, Jesse is forced to don the turkey suit. Laughs are had by all, but here are the ACES & EIGHTS to ruin everybody's fun in more ways than one. Devon whacks Young from behind with the bat and the beatdown is on. ODB gets handcuffed to the steel post! Young's boots are removed and Doc destroys both feet with the ball-PEEN hammer! No one here to stop the beatdown, so the Aces simply leave and trainers check on Young.

Well, nice knowing you, Eric Young! Sad to see that you went out having to put over the insipid Aces angle, but whatever.

Ad break

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS and KAZARIAN join us for our next segment. They invite AJ Styles for a beatdown.

KAZARIAN v. "THE PHENOMENAL" AJ STYLES
Wait, weren't we supposed to get Styles/Daniels for the millionth time? They're not saving it for the PPV, are they?

Kaz looks to finish with the ropes-assisted pin, but Earl Hebner catches it! Kaz and Hebner get in a shoving match and it leads to Styles rolling up Kaz for 2. Styles quickly finishes with the Pele Kick!

WINNER: AJ Styles - Good match.

Ad break

Here's AUSTIN ARIES for our main event promo. Aries talks about not getting a fair shake in this company and the deck being stacked against him. Hmm...almost like he's being...dis...something...um...what's the word...wait...OH! He's being DISRESPECTED, isn't he??? Aries believes that he's being held down by Hogan, so he calls Hogan out...BROOKE Hogan, that is.

So BROOKE HOGAN joins us. Aries isn't challenging her to a fight, but he wants to get something off his chest. He's tired of seeing the Hogan name around everywhere for the past 25 years. Aries surmises that Brooke must feel the same way, wanting to keep her private life private and all, so she was secretly hoping to find her dream guy and change her last name. But Aries says he wouldn't have guessed that she'd want to be "Mrs. Bully Ray". Aries decides to show us some footage, as we see footage of Ray and Brooke.

Why does this angle look so famil...oh no...no...no...no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no...

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!

NO! NO! NO! HELL NO! They are NOT going THERE! They CANNOT be serious! You're telling me that this company looked at the complete unwatchable eyesore of a trainwreck that is the AJ/Cena/Vickie/Ziggler angle...they took the single STUPIDEST angle (not involving Zack Ryder) that The E has put out in the last year...and decided, "Hey, we need some of THAT in our main event!"

Jesus, I'm fucking stunned. I come to this show to GET AWAY from The E's stupidest angles! Not to get second-hand versions of them! What the HELL??? SERIOUSLY!!!

Ok, let's FFWD through this stupidity. Aries shows footage, makes accusations, HULK HOGAN comes out, BULLY RAY runs past him and chases off Aries, Ray walks up to Brooke, Brooke runs off, Hulk doesn't look happy about this, derivative angle ACTIVATE! Closing credits are up and we're out.

FINAL THOUGHT

Austin Aries: The Greatest Derivative That Ever Lived

Goddamn this company.

Take us home, Mr. Derivative!



(edited by It's False on 23.11.12 0057)

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Amos Cochran
Lap cheong








Since: 28.8.09

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 22 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.82
If you're going to take the trouble to mock WWE's latest shitty angle on several occasions, it's probably a good idea not to run a rip-off of it two weeks later. Mindboggling.
Scottyflamingo
Bratwurst








Since: 23.6.10
From: Auburn, AL

Since last post: 371 days
Last activity: 100 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.45
I will say this, the Claire Lynch angle at least produced TWTTCotW, and Aries' "stuffing" line is already better than anything that has come out of the Cena/AJ angle.
lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.28
I am also disappointed with TNA ripping of AJ/Cena when they themselves made fun of WWE for doing the Claire Lynch angle with AJ. So, maybe they think this some sorta circular logic here. I have no idea. Anyway, I have no idea why Jeff is champ when Aries is knocking it out of the park. I like that TNA reminded us of their past Gut Check winners. Hendrix could be something if they remember they have a women's division.



The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Scottyflamingo
Bratwurst








Since: 23.6.10
From: Auburn, AL

Since last post: 371 days
Last activity: 100 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.45
    Originally posted by lotjx
    I am also disappointed with TNA ripping of AJ/Cena when they themselves made fun of WWE for doing the Claire Lynch angle with AJ. So, maybe they think this some sorta circular logic here. I have no idea. Anyway, I have no idea why Jeff is champ when Aries is knocking it out of the park. I like that TNA reminded us of their past Gut Check winners. Hendrix could be something if they remember they have a women's division.


I'm still waiting for Kong and/or Beth before I care about the KO's again.
OndaGrande
Kolbasz








Since: 1.5.03
From: California, Home of THE LAKERS!

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.42

Most of this show was a mess. Joey vs Chavo, York vs Hardy & Taeler vs Tara were the good matches and A Double carried the otherwise *why?* closing angle.
They put over OVW as the developmental territory but failed to mention that Taryn is the OVW Women's Champion ( She won the title from Heidi Lovelace last week ). Glad to see Taeler back on TV. She's still stronger in the character department than her actual wrestling but really gave a good effort. I def want to see her go up against the other KO's on future shows.




LEARN IT, KNOW IT, LIVE IT!
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I thought the pros and fans were the ones that could eliminate the rooks? Now it's management too? They've made up rules as they've gone along. The first few weeks of the show were really good but man has this show gone down the toilet since.
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