PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING! AJ Styles was away in Australia, so Christopher Daniels and Kazarian threw a baby shower, while Crackhead Claire dazzled us with some truly terrible acting! Meanwhile, the rest of the roster tried to get to the bottom of the Aces & Eights, which led to a show-ending brawl. Impact Wrestling starts right now!
Opening pyro! We are LIVE from the Impact Zone!
BULLY RAY (w/TWITTAH MACHINE) makes his way to the ring for our opening promo. Announcers note that earlier tonight, Sting invited Aces & Eights to the show. Bully tweets on his Twitter Machine, right in front of a fan holding up a "#TWITTAHMACHINE" sign! Ray demands the mic and gets it. No transcription tonight, since I'm already jumping into the show late. Oh, what the heck? Let's do one for Ray!
Ray: Do you know who I am? I'm Bully Ray and I'm the leadah of the Bully Nation! Ya know what this is? This is my fire-breathin' Twittah Machine! And I don't go anywhere without it! You know somethin'? Joseph Park, I give you credit. I actually learned something from you, Joseph Park. I learned that if there's enough evidence stacked up against somebody, they must be guilty. And James Storm, all the freakin' evidence points right at you. Storm, I'm gonna prove you're behind the Aces & Eights, but first, I'm gonna beat you tonight, I'm gonna get my 7 points. Hell, I might make you tap and get 10. And then, I'm gonna go on to Hardcore Justice. I'm gonna beat you, Storm. I'm gonna beat Robbie E. And I'm gonna beat Jeff Hardy in a Tables Match and I'm gonna get 20 points! Oh, shut the hell up and stop booing, you know I'm right! Now Storm, let me point out the reasons to you and the world why you are behind the Aces & Eights! All of the facts! I got all of the facts, Storm, against you! It's plain and simple! So many facts!"
Interruption comes from JAMES STORM, who comes out for rebuttal. Storm shuts Bully up and tells him that he hasn't revealed any facts. Storm's sick and tired of everything, including being sick and tired. Storm denies being behind Aces & Eights again and says he's focused on the BFG series. Storm wants to settle this, so he draws a line in the center of the ring and tells Bully he's going to beat the crap out of him at the count of 3. As Storm reaches 3, Bully backs up to the apron. Storm tells Bully that anyone in the back can come cross the line, as well.
Suddenly, we hear some super deep voices, as we see the Aces & Eights appear on the ImpactTron. Because this angle hasn't reminded me enough of the Black Scorpion, I suppose. We hear from a masked guy who sounds exactly like Bane from The Dark Knight Rises, who says that Sting invited them to the show tonight. He says they'll be around a lot tonight, but notes that they're going to get what they want on their time and their terms. He also tells Sting that when TNA is in ashes, he has their permission to retire.
(Ok, ok, he didn't really say that last part.)
As they fade out, Ray yells out more accusations at Storm, as we take a quick...
Let's take a look at what you just saw a couple of minutes ago!
Backstage, "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero says he's going to win the Falls Count Anywhere this Sunday.
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES LEADERBOARD 1. James Storm - 66 2. Samoa Joe - 53 3. Kurt Angle - 41 4. Mr. Anderson - 40 5. Jeff Hardy - 35 6. Christopher Daniels - 33 7. Rob Van Dam - 28 8. Magnus/Bully Ray - 21 10. AJ Styles - 16 11. The Pope - 7 12. Robbie E - 5
Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz, who are joined at commentary by MR. ANDERSON for our next match.
ROB VAN DAM (28 POINTS) v. MAGNUS (21 POINTS): BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH I distinctly remember last week that this was originally advertised as RVD facing The Pope. Did he no-show?
Wrestling sequence starts us off, as an RVD shoulderblock goes nowhere. Magnus quickly clotheslines RVD over the top rope. Magnus beats on Van Dam for a bit before rolling him back in for 2. RVD tries a crossbody, but it's caught and turned into a tilt-a-whirl drop! RVD comes back with a high kick and a springboard dropkick. Van Dam's spin kick is caught, but quickly shifts over to a roll-up for 2. A roundhouse takes Magnus down, but his rolling corner splash hits a Magnus clothesline. Van Dam comes back with another kick and quickly hits the 5 Star Frog Splash for the pin.
WINNER: Rob Van Dam - Ok, that ending literally came out of nowhere. Hell, the announcers were just asking Anderson about the Aces & Eights before SUDDENLY, ENDING! Can Van Dam not pace his matches properly anymore?
Backstage, Annoying Backstage Guy asks if Bobby Roode is aware of his contract signing. Roode slams the stupidity of that question before noting that there's language in the contract that he doesn't like, so he might tell Sting and A-Double to shove it. Hmm...isn't that angle a lot more effective if the heel is the CHAMPION?
Let's take another look at last week's angle with Crackhead Claire. UUUUUUUUUUGH!
GARRETT BISCHOFF & DEVON v. KAZARIAN & CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (w/o APPLETINI): TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Bischoff and Devon lobbied to Sting for this title shot and it was granted, which is the backstory for this match. Christy Hemme's intro for the champs is now, "At their requests...the World Tag Team Champions of the World!" HA! Just awesome!
Devon and Kazarian start off and Devon quickly hits the corkscrew elbow. Bischoff tags in, as Bischoff hits a shoulderblock. Here's a bodyslam and elbow for 1. Kazarian comes back with a jawbreaker, as Daniels tags in and eats a hiptoss. Devon tags in and hits a slam and legdrop for 2. Another face tag leads to a double-team hiptoss. Bischoff hits an inverted atomic drop, but a Kazarian cheap shot allows Daniels to take over with an STO. Kazarian tags in and the double-team armdrag/legdrop combo gets 2. More double-teaming from the champs. Bischoff's able to make the hot tag and Devon makes the babyface comeback. Devon tosses Daniels and spears Kazarian. Daniels tries to bring the belt in and is stopped by the ref. Daniels tosses Bischoff, so Devon puts Daniels down with the spinebuster. Ref's busy with Daniels, which allows Kazarian to hit the Greco-Roman Belt Shot for the pin in about 4 minutes.
WINNERS: Kazarian & Christopher Daniels - Another solid win for the World Tag Team Champions of the World!
We recap what happened last week between Sting and Brooke Hogan.
Backstage, Sting (sans face paint) says Brooke Hogan isn't here and tells Aces & Eights that he's calling them out tonight.
Here's a video package for the BFG series! Hey, it's a segment putting over the CHAMPIONSHIP! Man, if they keep going in that direction, it might end up looking half as prestigious as the John Cena Championship!
We go to the ring with ROBBIE E (w/ROBBIE T) and a table. E says no one's giving him a shot to win the BFG series, but he has a whole 5 points, bro! E says that he'll get 20 more points this Sunday and he'll be headed for BFG. E taunts Jeff Hardy, as we see footage of E beating Jeff by countout because Jeff went after T, like an idiot.
That brings out JEFF HARDY for rebuttal. I hope no one's taking a drink every time E says "bro" or you'd be JERSEY SHORE WASTED! T tries to ambush Jeff on the way in, but he quickly disposes of T and confronts E. Jeff bitchslaps E, but here's T from behind and the beatdown is on. T powerbombs Jeff from behind. E mouths off over Jeff's corpse. Hit the homoerotic "OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ" rave music!
Backstage, Annoying Backstage Guy asks AJ Styles about the pictures with Crackhead Claire. ABG asks about the match with Kurt Angle, but Styles notes that he's jet lagged and needs to prepare.
This Sunday, it's a Ladder Match between Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Samoa Joe! Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz, who are joined by SAMOA JOE. Joe says he's the only one who's relevant and bemoans his lack of mic time. Joe says he's going to beat up Styles, Angle, and Daniels ("Somewhere out there, Chris Daniels is buying a man-tini in an outlet mall? This weekend, I'm gonna BEAT HIM UP!"). Joe says he's coming down for his 20 points and drops the headset. Holy cats, now THAT'S a hard sell! Kick-ass!
"THE PHENOMENAL" AJ STYLES (16 POINTS) v. KURT ANGLE (41 POINTS): BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH We see Crackhead Claire in the crowd, as the announcers note her presence will probably distract Styles.
Wrestling sequence starts us off, as both men trade holds. Styles hits Kurt with a big dropkick and then wipes him out with a VICIOUS pescado! That takes us to our next ad break!
We come back with Kurt fully in control, as he hits a WICKED belly-to-belly suplex! Let's hit the chinlock. Styles comes back with chops, as Kurt misses a corner charge. Kurt quickly comes back with a stiff tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! My God, these are some hard-looking bumps! Back to the chinlock. Stop looking at Crackhead Claire! Even her "cheering" looks contrived and horribly acted! Double KO spot! Styles comes back with clotheslines and a roundhouse. Fireman's carry backbreaker gets 2. Styles charges into the corner and the springboard misses, leading to Kurt hitting the Rolling Germans. Kurt wants the Angle Slam, but Styles counters with the Pele Kick for 2! Kurt backdrops out of Styles Clash attempt and the Angle Slam hits...for 2! Straps come down and Kurt grabs the anklelock, which Styles quickly shrugs out. Styles tries his own Rolling Germans, but Kurt's all "Aw, HELL naw!" and rolls into anklelock! Styles rolls through to send Kurt into the turnbuckle. Springboard forearm hits and the Styles Clash...GETS 2! Now AJ wants the Spiral Tap, but Kurt hits the pop-up superplex for a very close 2! Crowd thought that was it! Kurt's running out of ideas, so he tries for the Anglesault, but it misses! Styles tries for the springboard 450 splash, but it hits knees and Kurt will finish with the Angle Slam at about 13 minutes shown!
WINNER: Kurt Angle - Awesome match between these two, as usual. Some of those bumps looked vicious!
Post-match, Crackhead Claire tries to talk to Styles, but he ignores her and walks off. Ooh, look at her make unconvincing facials! Let's go to something more interesting!
Backstage, Aces & Eights say that the dead man's hand has already been issued to Angle, Styles, Roode, Aries, Sting, and Hogan. Tonight, we learn their next target!
Elsewhere backstage, Anderson tells Storm that he's so amused by what his boys just said. Storm tells Anderson that they're not his boys. Anderson disagrees and brings up the circumstantial evidence. Anderson warns Storm that if he, Anderson, is the next victim, the next talk won't go so well.
Backstage, Aries is on the phone with his agent, noting that he didn't put that language in the contract. Here's Annoying Backstage Guy to ask questions, to which Aries responds that the contract will be signed.
GAIL KIM v. MISS TESSMACHER: NON-TITLE MATCH We look back at the four-way from last week, where Earl Hebner awarded the match to Madison Rayne.
Gail tries to attack from behind and winds up on the outside. Gail comes back with a hotshot and works over Miss Tessmacher. Gutbuster gets 2. Corner charge hits and Gail chokes away on the ropes. Tessmacher hits a flying forearm to stop that offensive flurry. Gail's still able to grab the bodyscissors. Tessmacher makes the babyface comeback. Springboard clothesline sends Gail Kim to the corner. So Miss Tessmacher swoops in and...my bum is on your lips! My bum is on your lips! I just can't escape that move, can I? Blockbuster suplex into a faceplant will finish for Tessmacher in about four minutes.
WINNER: Miss Tessmacher - Tessmacher still doesn't look all that polished, but at least she's trying.
Post-match, MADISON RAYNE comes out and makes out with Earl Hebner. Ew. Hit her music! Announcers note that Earl Hebner could give Rayne the advantage this Sunday. Or they could...you know...ASSIGN ANOTHER REFEREE! Why would anyone assign Hebner to that match given the last few weeks? Jeez, simple logic demolishes this angle in five seconds!
Let's go to something much more entertaining! Backstage, Joseph Park says that everyone's been asking him about the contract negotiations between Aries and Roode. Park looks back to his awesome closing argument of 2003. He then reminds us that he offered Sting his services before running off when he sees another potential client.
Elsewhere, Bobby Roode and Austin Aries head to the ring. Their contract signing is next!
We recap the opening match from last week, which saw Kenny King pin X Division Champion Zema Ion. That leads us to a Kenny King video package.
STING (w/o FACE PAINT) makes his entrance for the contract signing. Sting grabs the mic and calls out Aces & Eights briefly before moving on to the contract signing. First, Sting introduces BOBBY ROODE, who makes his slow entrance, before we get AUSTIN ARIES.
Roode stalls, so Sting wants to know what's up. Roode takes umbrage to the contract, noting that it says that if he loses, he doesn't get another shot. Roode refuses to sign that and accuses Sting of being against him. Roode tells Sting that he won't sign the contract and there won't be a main event this Sunday. Aries finally gives Roode a round of SHHHH!'s to shut him up. Aries points out that Roode is awfully worried about the "no rematch" clause for a guy so convinced he's going to win on Sunday. Aries decides to toss away the contract and offers a verbal agreement. It's Winner Take All -- If Aries wins, no rematch for Roode; If Roode wins, no rematch for Aries! We have a handshake deal! With the contract signing done, both guys toss away their coats and it looks like a fight is imminent. Roode tosses water in Aries' face and quickly bails! Hit Roode's music! This Sunday, it's Winner Take All!
How's THAT for a PPV hard sell?
James Storm and Bully Ray walk backstage! Our main event is next!
Backstage, Chavo Guerrero says he's here to be the best and beat the best! He teases a run for the tag titles. Elsewhere, Kid Kash says that he and Gunner get the Mexican contingent this Sunday and they'll beat them!
Hardcore Justice card rundown!
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES LEADERBOARD 1. James Storm - 66 2. Samoa Joe - 53 3. Kurt Angle - 48 4. Mr. Anderson - 40 5. Jeff Hardy/Rob Van Dam - 35 7. Christopher Daniels - 33 8. Magnus/Bully Ray - 21 10. AJ Styles - 16 11. The Pope - 7 12. Robbie E - 5
BULLY RAY (w/o TWITTAH MACHINE) (21 POINTS) v. "COWBOY" JAMES STORM (66 POINTS): BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH Ray stalls to start. He follows that with more stalling. Then some more stalling.
We finally move to a wrestling sequence, leading to Ray powering Storm down with a big boot. Ray chucks Storm out to send us to our last ad break of the night.
We come back with Ray missing an elbow, but the hair pull will send Storm back down. We hit the leglock. More slow-paced offense from Ray. Gorilla press misses and Storm makes the babyface comeback. It's stopped when Ray catches Storm with the uranage for 2! Bully Bomb (called a "Bubba Bomb" by Tenay! Oops!) is countered and Storm hits a top-rope crossbody for 2! Storm goes up again and gets crotched. Here's a big chop from Ray! Superplex is blocked and Ray gets shoved off. Savage Elbow misses and the Bully Bomb gets 2! Now Bully tries for the Second-Rope Senton That Never Hits! It misses! Storm nails a Codebreaker and calls for the Last Call! Bully moves the ref into its path, but Storm's still able to get a schoolboy for 2! Ray quickly comes back with the Bully Cutter (called a "Bubba Cutter"! Come on, Tenay!) for the pin at about 12 minutes shown!
WINNER: Bully Ray - Gotta keep the BFG series close, so no use in letting Storm pull away here.
Post-match, Bully wraps his fist in a chain and looks around for Aces & Eights. Ray wants to know where the Aces & Eights are and yells at Storm about it. We suddenly see the Aces & Eights on the ImpactTron. They warn Bully that he'll be seeing more of them on Sunday. Ray yells at Storm some more to end the show. Closing credits are up and we're out!
Bully Ray's my dark horse for the guy behind Aces & Eights, but that obviously goes out the window if he's at the end of their attack at the PPV.
This is a primo lesson on how to sell a PPV, between the great contract signing segment, Joe's awesome promo, and the fine BFG series matches. All that was missing was the X Division, which is a major omission.
Good stuff this week, especially from Styles and Angle. Until next time!
I think I have been to the outlet mall where Daniels buys his man-tini. Joe does need more mic. Minus going full Black Scorpion on this storyline, I think they have done a good with Aces & Eights. Again, there is no need for the heel beatdown each week and keeping it as special thing at the PPV is a good idea. Even the BFG tournament is looking good. The KO division with Madison/Earl as its top story is just stupid.
The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Didn't see the show, but Bully Ray going over Storm means he re-signed or is on the verge of re-signing right? If not it would be otherwise retarded for TNA to put over a guy that's leaving in a few weeks over one of TNA's top guys. TNA can't possibly be that dumb right? Btw Luke Gallows is being advertised for TNA house shows that are coming up so he's for sure one of the Aces and Eights.
The excellent Angle/AJ Styles match along with the passable Bully Ray/Storm match made this show worthwhile by themselves.
I liked how they did a bit of a twist on the contract signing, but a no rematch clause as the stipulation isn't the way I would have gone with it.
Impact has been consistently better than Raw now for weeks. Yes, Impact has been better than Raw. They will probably have a pretty good PPV this weekend too.
Originally posted by It's FalseWINNER: Rob Van Dam - Ok, that ending literally came out of nowhere. Hell, the announcers were just asking Anderson about the Aces & Eights before SUDDENLY, ENDING! Can Van Dam not pace his matches properly anymore?
While a lot of guys have upped there game lately, Rob Van Dam has totally stunk. I've always liked the guy, but I'm a fan of spotty wrestlers, but lately he has just looked washed up.
A guy that has gone from totally crappy to very watchable is Devon. He's not going to tear the house down or main event, but he has become a solid midcarder, but is it wrong that I hoped that he would ditch Bischoff, so he could get the Mass Transit treatment? Yes, probably.
Mr. Anderson, what in the world was that performance in the commentary booth? I enjoy him generally and I love the microphone gimmick, but his contribution last night was about the worst thing I've heard.
I don't agree that this PPV has been built great at all. The four way matches have no real rhyme or reason to them (outside of Bully being good with tables and Jeff going through one), and the rematch clause bit was tired. King facing Zema got no real play this week, and Chavo already beat Kid Kash clean so where is the motivation there?
The only real build was Tessmacher vs. Madison Rayne, and as others have stated, it doesn't make sense for Earl to be given that match even though he obviously will be. I do think the PPV will be good and possibly even great, but the build has mostly failed.
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Originally posted by TorchslasherMr. Anderson, what in the world was that performance in the commentary booth? I enjoy him generally and I love the microphone gimmick, but his contribution last night was about the worst thing I've heard.
I forgot about this, but yeah this was surprisingly terrible. He sounded like Kelly Kelly the way he was mumbling, tripping over sentences and not making any sense. It's never a good sign when you fuck up the one thing you are good at that badly.
Before going through the traditional Gordy List questions I want to cover a couple of points. First, the Gordy List has often been used by writers to "make a case" for a candidate who they feel should be in the HOF.