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19.12.14 1939
The W - Pro Wrestling - IMPACT 9-21-06
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
We open with super-short (yay!) promos from Rhino and Monty Brown (who is likely sticking with TNA, according to recent rumors -- yay again!). Christian interrupts Brown's -- he wants to make a deal with him. Brown seems dubious: "Let's see what this chump wants."

And Jeff Jarrett is in the Impact Zone and -- okay, I FFWd through his promo until Samoa Joe cam out. Joe whips JJ from one end of the zone to the other, including hitting a running kick to JJ's face and sending him over the guard rail. Jarrett finally sneaks in a guitar shot that busts Joe open, but until then, it was obvious -- and I mean OBVIOUS -- that Joe was absolutely DOMINATING Jeff.

Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams: As Williams enters, they show some quick clips of the Canadian Destroyer; as Lethal enters, they replay the sick "Jackass" shopping cart bump from last week. This sets up the storyline of the match quickly and effectively.

Solid X Division action -- Williams hits his slingshot-into-a-hurracanrana from the ring to the floor, which is a move that often doesn't look so good. Eventually, Lethal's buddies Sabin and Dutt come out -- they've got a Jackass-branded (well, stickered) bowling ball with 'em! Petey's sitting in the corner, so Lethal rolls the ball into Petey's groinal area, and then rolls up Petey for the pin. Tenay says "I get it! He's BOWLING for BALLS!" as if there's some sort of pun or joke in there which I'm not seeing.

In the back, Borash talks to Senshi, who explains that there's a time and place for jokes and pranks but the wrestling ring IS NOT IT. Sabin and his crew come in and Sabin apologizes for ruining Senshi's "No-Fun Zone" (OH "SNAP"). Then he mimics Senshi's vocal stylings as Lethal & Dutt dissolve into helpless laughter. This, again, pretty effectively drew the line between Senshi's attitude and Sabin's -- but it may be a little too little and quite a bit too late.

Eric Young vs. Norman Smiley: Young should by a padlock for his locker or something -- this is the second time he's wrestled with a VHS tape stuffed down his tights. Comedy match with a little dancing, a little getting down...Young pins Smiley with the Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker and runs off.

Shane Douglas is with Borash and confirms that if the Naturals don't win their match on Sunday -- against 7 other teams! -- that Douglas is through with them. Eric Young shows up and needs JJ to see his tape (last week, Jarrett sent Young on some sort of assignment to find Sting); Borash says Jeff's already gone but he'll see what he can do.

During the commercial break, Borash has passed the tape off to the production guys so that we can all see it. Alex Shelley is filming Young on a city street -- Young says that Sting comes down this street every day on his way to the gym, and so his brilliant plan, as we see, is to stand in the middle of the street holding a sign that says "STING IT'S ME STOP." We hear Shelley's voice over the camera mic: "You know what I did, I just went to his house."

Eric Young chats with a random passerby who was confused, and the passerby explains: "Not that Sting -- the Sting with The Police." Eric Young: "...Sting got arrested?" Tenay and West wonder why exactly Young would want JJ to see this tape at all, let alone so urgently. This was, like, three minutes long and funnier than a whole night of DX antics.

Rhino vs. Monty Brown: This is falls count anywhere. The newly-reinstated Earl Hebner if reffing -- TNA must have given him a salary advance 'cause it looks like he's been able to clean himself up. I fervently hope that that's a blow-off to the whole Hebner/Slick Johnson feud.

The match is fine, with a nice will-he-or-won't-he sequence where Rhino is aiming to Gore Brown through a table but ends up going through it solo. Christian is out and brawls with Rhino -- there's the bell and it's a no contest. Christian takes Rhino into the back, throws him against the wall and CONCHAIRTOS his head against the wall! Man, that looked painful.

Okay, so I imagine Christian and Brown's conversation earlier in the night went like this. Christian: "Okay, you soften him up and then I'll come out and kick his ass!" Brown: "So it's like I have to compete in a regular match but I don't have the upside of, like, winning or anything? Do I get anything out of it?" Christian: "You know, probably not."

Who's in Bobby Roode's limo this week? It's...the SENSATIONAL Sherri Martel! She seems...well, pretty subdued, actually. She namedrops Savage, DiBiase, and HBK; Roode says he'll consider her offer and then he asks her out to dinner. Huh!

Joe is backstage -- actively bleeding -- and cuts a promo letting JJ know how foolish he was to make the "Fan's Revenge" match into a "Joe's Revenge" match. "JOE is gonna KILL you!"

Borash catches up with Christian as he's leaving -- Christian says that Rhino's jealous because he's not at Christian's level. "Now piss off, Queer Eye!"

And it's time for our MAIN EVENT FIESTA -- LAX is in the ring with a mariachi band, the irresistible LAXettes, a buffet spread, various signs ("You can stop a revolutionary - you can't stop a revolution"), and an effigy of Uncle Sam hanging from the Ult.X cables.

Konnan cuts a good, long promo about how Latinos are taking over, while Hernandez samples tequila and Homicide enjoys a cigar and blows smoke rings. Styles and Daniels run out and briefly clear the ring, but Hernandez comes back in and press slams Daniels over the top to the floor while Konnan slapjacks Styles. Then they pull down the Uncle Sam effigy, hang Styles upside down from the cables, and beat him like a pinata! Homicide kicks him in the head! Styles bleeds from the mouth!

Man, this was a pretty violent episode. It did a good job of really sharpening the focus of several of the matches at No Surrender, but doing it at the eleventh hour might not have been the best strategy. Anyway -- we'll see if they decide to "hit the reset button" in the next few days. I look forward to it with a mixture of hope and dread in equal measure.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: The Proposition - Touch the Sound - Lucky Number Slevin - Behind Locked Doors - District B13
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kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 28 days
Last activity: 37 min.
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.37
That was a violent episode, I guess there are some advantages to that time slot. The Styles/Daniels vs LAX feud has been one of the more violent feuds in a long time. I liked this episode, when was it taped? By that I mean, would Russo have had anything to do with it?



Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
sentonBOMB
Frankfurter








Since: 25.11.02
From: Jersey

Since last post: 2031 days
Last activity: 732 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.83
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    Eventually, Lethal's buddies Sabin and Dutt come out -- they've got a Jackass-branded (well, stickered) bowling ball with 'em! Petey's sitting in the corner, so Lethal rolls the ball into Petey's groinal area, and then rolls up Petey for the pin.


Maybe it's just me (and it probably is), but I hate it when faces cheat to win (or for that matter, when heels win cleanly). I was annoyed by the latter when Orton won at Unforgiven, and I was annoyed by the former tonight. Why did they need to have Lethal use the bowling ball to win the match? They could just as easily have gotten their point across (that Dutt/Sabin/Lethal are a bunch of goofy guys who want to emulate Bam Margera and Steve-O) by having the bowling ball-related antics happen after the match was over. Perhaps as retribution for Williams having cheated to win, or something.

The other thing that bothered me (and it's something WWE does all the time but TNA does not do very often) was having the "main event" match end 10-15 minutes before the end of the show, and then spending the rest of the time with LAX standing around in a ring. Couldn't they have put LAX into a match somehow? This segment lasted at least as long as a jobber squash.

Other than that, the show was fun. Loved Joe beating the poop out of Jarrett, loved keeping the Shane Douglas-Naturals thing only to about 5 minutes of the show since I don't care about it, actually even loved the Rhino/Brown match even though Monty Brown doesn't usually do it for me. So, nice work overall, TNA.
flairforthegold13
Kishke








Since: 1.5.03
From: Gainesville, FL.

Since last post: 2572 days
Last activity: 2559 days
AIM:  
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
Guys winning clean legitimizes them. Even heels have to get over that they can legitimately win. Faces cheating adds an edge to their character. Actually, the face/heel thing shouldn't even be an issue. Austin was a face and of course, didn't hesitate to cheat. Same with Eddy.


Good show, well focused. Ultimate X should rock it.

Chris Sabin is the most charismaless vanilla midget I've seen. Sabin/Lethal/Dutt are the definition of lame and I hope they go away.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 28 days
Last activity: 37 min.
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.37
Sabin was much better when he used his in ring work to get over. Not his (lack) of personality.
I am a fan of starting the main even earlier. One of the problems with watching Raw, and especially SD! is that you always know about how long the main even will be if it starts with 5 or 10 minutes left in the show. If it starts earlier, it adds a little bit more excitement to me, because I don't have an idea when it will end. Every week on Raw at 11:02, you KNOW it won't go longer than 1-2 more minutes.
It is also an old school way to do things. I remember in the 80's a lot of main events that started with an hour left in the show. The reason they said was so they could guarantee there would be enough time. It added a little bit of realism to the show, which we could use more of these days.



Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.99
I agree that Sabin is totally vanilla, which is why this Jackass gimmick (promotional tie-in notwithstanding) is actually helping him tons. He showed more personality in that 20 second backstage bit with Senshi than he did in the previous four years.

Those 'I hate Jarrett' videos set wrestling fans back 30 years.




(edited by Big Bad on 22.9.06 2110)


Scene: Mark DeRosa's brain. The year is 2005.
Part of Mark DeRosa's brain: Come on, another position change? One day it's second base, the next day right field, now it's third? Why, I oughta go into Buck's office and throw his talking fish on the floor!
Other part of Mark DeRosa's brain: Hold on, other part of the brain. We're making $500,000 this year. Last year we made $725,000. All for playing a damn kids' game. This is, as they say in Brainland, a no-"us"-er. We're not going to complain.
Part of Mark DeRosa's brain: You're right, dude. Let's go back to looking at this crazy porn Teixeira gave us!

--- firejoemorgan.blogspot.com
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 1 day
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.06
    Originally posted by Big Bad
    Those 'I hate Jarrett' videos set wrestling fans back 30 years.


I kept waiting for Mr. It's-Still-Real-To-Me-Damnit to show up on those videos.

Regarding the Eric Young vignette ... funny how Los Angeles looked a lot like downtown Nashville ... hmmm ...
Whattaburger
Boerewors








Since: 18.5.04
From: Badstreet USA

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 14 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.10
    Originally posted by flairforthegold13
    Guys winning clean legitimizes them. Even heels have to get over that they can legitimately win. Faces cheating adds an edge to their character. Actually, the face/heel thing shouldn't even be an issue. Austin was a face and of course, didn't hesitate to cheat. Same with Eddy.


When is everyone going to stop thinking that everyone can be a tweener character and/or that it's OK for the face to cheat.

Quit thinking that formula works for EVERYBODY.

It's not...ever, unless it makes sense in an ironic or comeuppance sort of way. A face cheating doesn't really do anything to distinguish him from the heel -- aside from what smarky and/or some fans will respond to (which most of the time, doesn't make sense).



It's just a message board, people. Chill out. Now, go show your internet diapproval of me! YEA!
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by Mayhem
    Regarding the Eric Young vignette ... funny how Los Angeles looked a lot like downtown Nashville ... hmmm ...
Eric's not very bright, of course.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: The Proposition - Touch the Sound - Lucky Number Slevin - Behind Locked Doors - District B13
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 11 hours
Last activity: 22 min.
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.31
I don't dig Samoa Joe yelling at the camera. He works better as a quiet menace. When he yells about getting Jarrett, he sounds like the average midcarder trying too hard. Not his finest moment.

Glad to see Monty again. Hope Roode isn't bringing in Trump as his manager.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

My blog will amuse. (heygregory.blogspot.com)
sentonBOMB
Frankfurter








Since: 25.11.02
From: Jersey

Since last post: 2031 days
Last activity: 732 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.83
    Originally posted by Whattaburger
    It's not...ever, unless it makes sense in an ironic or comeuppance sort of way.


Matt Hardy on the most recent SmackDown! is a good example of this. While I'd prefer to have seen him go over Helms cleanly, showing that he is indeed better than him, I at least could buy the cheating here as a sort of poetic justice.
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Never should have been an on air talent and I'm glad to see him go if for no other reason than we may finally get to pull AJ out of the slums.
- Scottyflamingo, Goodbye Tommy, also... (2011)
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