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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT 9-17-09 "Love in a Hellavator"
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 20 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
We open with a shot of Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin at the "MTV" -- "Machinegun Television" -- announce table, and they welcome us to the show and then toss it to Taz & Mike Tenay. Tenay is peeved that the MCMG get the On-Camera Open, pointing to Taz's shirt and saying "FTW! More like WTF!" Aw, that's so cute, Mike. How long have you been saving that one up?

The Beautiful People vs. Tara & Christy Hemme: This is a semi-final in the Knockout Tag Team Tournament. Tara dominates Angelina Love, pulling her up in a kind of Gory Special, but by her hair. They both tag out and Velvet Sky tosses Hemme around a little. Skill-wise, Tara & Hemme are the most mismatched tag team since Buff & Judy. Tara hits a snap suplex and the milkshake moonsault on Velvet, as Poison the spider "looks on approvingly," according to amateur arachnologist extraordinaire Tenay.

Love makes the save and Tara takes her to the outside, so it's Christy and Sky in the ring when Madison Rayne runs down with a paper bag and a can of hairspray -- she uses the latter on...Christy Hemme! Swerve! Sky rolls the blinded Hemme up for the pin.

I was all "so much for the new 'power to the refs' edict" but then I saw "Slick" Mark Johnson smiling and nodding and I remembered his ribald past with Rayne to the benefit of the Beautiful People, so that actually makes perfect sense. Tenay has the same realization several seconds after I do.

Madison shows the BPs the paper bag, which has "I'M SORRY" written on it, and Love and Sky seem like they forgive her. Did TNA know Love might be leaving when they taped this? If not, it's ludicrously serendipitous that they did this, 'cause now Rayne can take Love's spot for the finals at No Surrender with hardly any explanation necessary.

(If they want to get the Beautiful People back up to three members, they could bring in Rayne's Shimmer partner Nevaeh. Bonus -- when Love (hopefully) returns, they can split the group in two and have a ready-made tag feud!)

"The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero is backstage with Lauren -- he says that Suicide has created his own world full of darkness, and it's the Pope's duty to resurrect him -- and then "pimp-slap him back to hell!" I'm not sure I follow!

D'Angelo Dinero vs. Suicide: Not a bad match, but short, and Suicide jobbed pretty decisively, which is surprising. He tried and failed to get the Suicide Solution a couple of times, then went for a top rope splash that got nothing but Dinero's knees. Dinero followed that with the DDE (Elijah Express) -- which laid Suicide out FLAT -- and picked up the win.

Is that the feud, then? These guys aren't on the PPV, so who knows.

The World Elite is backstage and Kiyoshi takes the mic away from Lauren. (Surprisingly, he doesn't say, "KIYOSHI! IMAPCT'S NUMBAH ONE ANNOUNCAH!") Eric Young says that he would never lay a hand on his "brother," Hernandez, who he faces at No Surrender, so that should be an interesting match. Homicide says that Hernandez has changed.

Rhino's in the ring complaining that TNA is exploiting him and stuff. Brother Devon comes out to tell Rhino that he was exploiting Jesse Neal. Remember when Rhino was a kid coming up and 3D weren't all mean to him, like he is with Neal? Rhino retorts with his fists, predictably, until Brother Ray makes the save. I assume this is leading to something, but Rhino's going to need a partner.

Hernandez vs. Kiyoshi and Bashir: The Elites get a lick or two in, but this is basically a swath of destruction by Hernandez. Border Toss to Kiyoshi for the win.

Eric Young and Homicide are out and drop Hernandez with a chair shot -- Homicide holds Hernandez's Feast or Fired briefcase vertically on Hernandez's throat and Young hits it with a chair!

Alissa Flash vs. Cody Deaner: This is a Lumberjack (or Lumberjill, according to Taz) Match. Everyone is here (even Roxxi) except for Rhaka Khan, Raisha Saeed (what, is she busy?), and ODB. Cody gets tossed out and the Knockouts SLAUGHTER him -- Kong hits a big bodyblock, and Roxxi and Sojo Bolt double suplex him onto the ramp. He gets tossed into the ringpost before finally getting rolled back into the ring. Alissa pins him with a cocky knee across his sternum.

After the match, the apparent Knockout truce falls apart, with Kong and Tara brawling to the back. Deaner backs up the ramp and gets ambuscaded by ODB, who CLOCKS him upside the head with her flask.

Deaner's defeat implies that he wins at the PPV, which I guess is possible, but I prefer to believe that it's just a thorough burial of the whole angle. Perhaps it's a leftover from Dutch Mantel that Russo is kicking dirt over, unlikely though that sounds.

(What do they do with Deaner, though, after he gets defeated by multiple Knockouts? A tag team with Jethro Holliday seems like a no-brainer from a theme standpoint, but I'm not sure I need to see that.)

Lauren is with Kevin Nash in the Main Event Mafia Lounge. Nash is auditioning for a new valet. He briefly attempts to seduce Lauren but is distracted by a hefty new prospect (complete with a pixelated bosom). Please, please, give Mike Awesome's "Fat Chick Thriller" gimmick to Nash. That would be so great. [/deadpan]

Mick Foley vs. Kevin Nash: This is for the Legends Belt. Match was mostly just marking time. Foley went for the sock early, but Nash tossed him outside, kicked him into the guardrail, and took the sock off Foley's hand and choked him with it! SHOCKING SWERVE! WHY, MR. SOCKO, WHY???

I was wondering why this match-up, of all match-ups, needed an encore presentation, but it became obvious when Abyss came out brandishing a barbed wire bat. There's the DQ -- Abyss got in the ring and Nash bailed -- no actual contact took place. Foley is pissed that Abyss cost him the match and the title, so this is obviously leading up to the much-predicted Foley/Abyss match. (Nash, hilariously, mocks Abyss's Eugene clap.)

Lauren catches up with Abyss in the back; Abyss is anxious and worried that Mick is mad at him. "Oh, God! Oh, God!" he wails, pulling at his hair. Man, I REALLY MISS Abyss the MONSTER. Abyss the BLUBBERING IDIOT is SUPER ANNOYING.

Robert Roode & Brother Ray vs. Scott Steiner & Brutus Magnus: All the tag partners are ringside, as well. The winner here gets the one-man advantage at Lethal Lockdown at No Surrender. Brother Ray gets suplexed twice during this match -- T-Boned by Steiner and snapped by Magnus. For some reason I find Ray getting suplexed fascinating.

Anyway, Roode gets the moral victory with the Payoff (Perfectplex) on Magnus, but Big Rob Terry is distracting referee Earl Hebner. Doug Williams hits Roode in the stomach with his IWGP belt, allowing Magnus to get the actual pin. This is the second time tonight that I thought "so much for the new 'power to the refs' edict," but this time I'm pretty sure I'm justified. Well, it lasted almost an entire taping.

Taylor Wilde & Sarita vs. Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed: This is the last semifinal in the Knockouts Tag Team Tournament. Pretty fun stuff, although nothing to compare to the last couple of weeks. We all know that Raisha's the weak link on her team, and after Sarita takes Kong to the outside, Wilde takes advantage of that fact to pin Saeed with a BIG bridging German. Kong is SHOCKED.

Quick promos from Kurt Angle and AJ Styles & Sting about their match at No Surrender.

Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe: They're pretty evenly matched, but I don't know the last time I saw Joe MANHANDLED like this -- he goes up for both Morgan's Chokeslam and his Sidewalk Drop. Not a lot of guys can toss Joe around like that. They go to the outside and Joe pulls on Morgan's trunks, sending him into the announce table and almost into Guest Commentator Kurt Angle's lap. Angle takes offense, attacking Morgan, and there's the DQ.

Both Weak Security and Strong Security try to break things up, but Morgan and Angle continue brawling, ending with Morgan taking an Angleslam through the Spanish MCMG Announce Table.

And that'll do it for this week.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 18.9.09 0235)

Last 5 movies seen: Song of the South **1/2 - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince *** - Sin Nombre ***1/2 - The Hurt Locker **** - I Love You, Man ***1/2
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kentish
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Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 6 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.49
That was a nice promo by Rhino. But it pretty much just sets him up to be right back where he started in a midcard feud with 3D, after he jobs in a fairly high profile match with Lashley. Maybe he needs to play more of those "politics"?




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Peter The Hegemon
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Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 33 min.
Last activity: 28 min.
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.03
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal

    Alissa Flash vs. Cody Deaner: This is a Lumberjack (or Lumberjill, according to Taz) Match. Everyone is here (even Roxxi) except for Rhaka Khan, Raisha Saeed (what, is she busy?), and ODB. Cody gets tossed out and the Knockouts SLAUGHTER him -- Kong hits a big bodyblock, and Roxxi and Sojo Bolt double suplex him onto the ramp. He gets tossed into the ringpost before finally getting rolled back into the ring. Alissa pins him with a cocky knee across his sternum.

    After the match, the apparent Knockout truce falls apart, with Kong and Tara brawling to the back. Deaner backs up the ramp and gets ambuscaded by ODB, who CLOCKS him upside the head with her flask.

    Deaner's defeat implies that he wins at the PPV, which I guess is possible, but I prefer to believe that it's just a thorough burial of the whole angle.



Deaner's defeat merely implies that Spike still won't let them show a man hurting a woman in any context. Hence the only way they can have a match promoting Deaner vs. ODB at all is to have Deaner completely overwhelmed by multiple Knockouts (almost typed "divas") so that he can't get any offense in at all. Shelley (or was it Sabin?) even made a reference to this when he asked "Are we gonna see some man-on-woman violence?"

So there's still some hope that Deaner never gets the belt and things return to normal. I really wouldn't mind seeing some "intergender" feuds in TNA, as long as they were handled well (which, among other things, means you don't have a man going for a belt that's only for women), but so long as Spike effectively prohibits such a thing, they really shouldn't try to half-ass it.
geemoney
Scrapple








Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 2 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.36
    Originally posted by kentish
    That was a nice promo by Rhino. But it pretty much just sets him up to be right back where he started in a midcard feud with 3D, after he jobs in a fairly high profile match with Lashley. Maybe he needs to play more of those "politics"?

Ugh, I don't know how anyone can get into Rhino's promos anymore. It's a typical 80s screaming promo, and with the faces he was making, it looked like he was channeling "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. Plus, the promo itself bounced between "work" and "shoot" too much for my tastes. At least for me, I just can't stand them.
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I'm disappointed to hear about the move. Thursday has usually been my favorite night for wrestling to be on. On the bright side, Wednesdays have historic significance for TNA, since the original weekly PPVs were on Wednesday nights.
Related threads: iMPACT! 9-10-09 - iMPACT! 9-3-09 "Last Chance to Surrender" - iMPACT! 8-27-09 "Mind Games" - More...
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