No title for this show -- no opening credits, even -- as we join our first match in progress!
The British Invasion vs. Beer Money Inc. vs. Team 3D vs. The Main Event Mafia (Steiner & Booker): This is a gauntlet tag match, meaning (in this case) that a new person comes out every two minutes; first pinfall wins, but can't happen until everyone's come out. We're here in time for the last two -- Booker T and James Storm -- to enter, which means the match has been going on for about eight minutes by the time the show starts. Mike Tenay explains that these teams have been at each other's throats since arriving at the Impact Zone earlier today, and TNA management decided to start the match early rather than have things boil over backstage. This is strange and disorienting.
Robert Roode is getting pounded by the time Storm comes out, but they rally once reunited. Everyone sort of brawls out of the ring, allowing 3D to hit the 3D on Scott Steiner. Pin -- no, Booker and Brutus Magnus break it up. But then Magnus is all, "well, Steiner's just laying there..." and he grabs the pin himself! Booker (and Kurt Angle, watching in back) are shocked by this -- the MEM are supposed to have an alliance with the World Elite, after all.
Kurt Angle is out and calls out Matt Morgan. Morgan is still pretending that he trusts Angle -- it's unclear whether or not Angle is buying it. Sting and AJ Styles come out, and Sting exhorts Morgan to call Angle on his crap -- it's unclear here, as well, whether Sting knows that Morgan is being sarcastic or not. People are bullshitting each other, and to some extent everyone's aware of it, I think (although Sting has a history of gullibility), but no one wants to admit it and no one will back down -- it's not exactly David Mamet, but it's interesting. Morgan talks Angle into letting him be in Angle's corner for the main event tonight.
There are little kids playing in Mick Foley's office. Mick tells Dr. Stevie that he's got a match tonight -- against Abyss! Dr. Stevie is not excited about his chance to win his own $50,000 bounty.
Alissa Flash & Daffney vs. Sarita & Taylor Wilde: Hey, four of my favorite knockouts. This is a KO Tag Team Tournament match. Fast moving and fun -- both teams work together pretty well, even though the Daff-n-Flash Connection has no experience teaming up. Mostly they stay out of each other's way, I guess, while Sarita and Wilde break out some double-team moves. I wouldn't be surprised to see Sarita & Wilde be the first title holders, actually, considering the Angelina Love situation. Sarita pins Flash with -- well, I don't know what to call that. Flash went at Sarita with a clothesline, which Sarita blocked -- holding on to the arm, Sarita spins around and then slams Flash down, kind of like a side belly-to-belly suplex. Anyway, that's that, and Sarita & Wilde will go on to face Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed.
The Motor City Machine Guns are out. There's been a large object at ringside covered with a red tarp all show, and the MCMG pull off the tarp to reveal...a second announce table! Taz says, "Oh, they got the nice monitors!" Shelley & Sabin remain here for the rest of the show, and we occasionally tune in to their commentary -- mostly a series of wiseacre remarks -- or cut to a shot of them playing video games on their monitors.
"Black Machismo" Jay Lethal vs. "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero: Lethal's fallen pretty far on the totem pole, clearly being out here to do the job. He gets crotched on the top rope and, when Dinero knocks him off, he lands right on his head on the apron and bounces off to the floor. He seems okay, though, but can't mount much offense. Dinero nails a neckbreaker with Lethal's legs over the second rope, and then the DDE ("D'Angelo Dinero Express" -- it must've taken them hours to come up with a new name for the "Elijah Express") for the pin.
The MEM are in the World Elite locker room and they're pissed because Brutus Magnus pinned Scott Steiner in the opening match. Eric Young explains that they've always made it clear that they'd do whatever it takes to win, but the alliance is still on -- shake? Angle shakes his hand, although none of the Mafia seem happy about it, especially Steiner, who lingers behind to spit on the floor. "That's what I think of foreigners."
The Beautiful People vs. Madison Rayne & ...?: Madison Rayne is wearing this awful frilly pink thing with those bell-bottom leggings that go from mid-thigh on down, like Torrie Wilson (and, uh, Kip James) used to wear. Her partner is...ROXXI ROXXI ROXXI THE HARDCORE KNOCKOUT YES! Roxxi is wearing more standard "athletic" ring gear than she has in the past and has a short, shaggy bob. She looks like she's in great shape. Man, I knew she had some size, but next to Rayne she looks like an AMAZON.
Roxxi's a great choice continuity-wise, having a long background with the BPs -- Tenay points out that it was Angelina Love and Velvet Sky who shaved Roxxi's head (Rayne was not with the company at the time).
They're pretty evenly matched here. Love at one point kicks out of the Voodoo Drop, surprisingly. Roxxi & Rayne try to double team Love but Sky drags Roxxi out of the ring, allowing Love to roll up Rayne -- using the tights, causing Rayne's keister to get pixelated -- for the win. This being a tournament match, The Beautiful People will go on to face Tara & Christy Hemme. (Reportedly, Roxxi's appearance is a one-time only deal, as she's working for AAA, but hopefully we'll see her again.)
Cody Deaner is in Mick Foley's office. He's used to fighting OFF girls -- those cougars always want to run their fingers through his "wicked awesome hair" -- but he's not used to FIGHTING girls -- he wants a tune-up match tonight!
They're having ads to text their hotline to find out what ex-WWE stars were backstage at the Impact tapings -- hey, it was Kevin Thorn and Kizarny, yo. Thorne wrestled in a dark match as "Serpent" and you know what? I would be TOTALLY INTO a "Serpent and Sinn" tag team. Bring back Father James Mitchell to manage them -- oh, man!
Abyss vs. Dr. Stevie: SQUAAAASHHHHHHH and Abyss kills Stevie with the Black Hole Slam. Kevin Nash is out to attack Abyss and Mick Foley makes the save.
The World Elite are in the ring -- Hernandez, Hernandez, please join us! -- but Hector Guerrero is out to set them straight. Surprisingly, the WE does not beat Heck's ass.
Cody Deaner vs. Tara: I was SURE that this would be Kong. This is an "MMA" match. Tara is wearing MMA gloves and, weirdly, no leg brace. Deaner has a fanny pack and red-and-white zebra-stripe Zubaz. He gets his ass kicked by Tara, basically, and does not get in a lick of offense. Ref bump! Ah, HERE'S Awesome Kong, taking advantage of the situation to attack Tara -- Implant Buster and Tara's out. Ref awakens, sees the unconscious Tara, and declares Deaner the winner. I'm still not sure if this is a waste of Deaner, or just a waste.
AJ Styles & Daniels vs. Kurt Angle & Samoa Joe: Oh, man, THIS should be main eventing a PPV. Styles and Daniels have Sting in their corner, while Morgan is out for Angle & Joe. Daniels and Styles take this opportunity to hit some of their double team moves from when they were teaming regularly, including the legsweep/clothesline Total Elimination-style move and the BME/Frog Splash combo. YES.
Great stuff but not NEARLY enough of it. Let me reiterate that I would LOVE to see this at PPV length. ANYWAY, wacky finish sees Morgan hold up a chair for Angle to throw Styles into, but Styles reverses and Kurt meets the chair head-on. Morgan's all "GOLLY, what happened here?" and Styles pins Angle.
After the match, Morgan tries to "apologize," but Angle slaps him. Morgan snaps and takes Angle up in the Hellevator -- there's a three-story drop and Angle is wiped out.
Surprisingly, there's one more segment to the show. The World Elite has Homicide and they're going to destroy him unless Hernandez comes out -- I smell a swerve and I'm not disappointed -- Homicide hits Hernandez in the back with a chair. Finisherfest -- Rob Terry levels Hernandez a big clothesline and the other Brits follow it up with a double Union Jack. Bashir hits the WMD and Kiyoshi concludes with a top-rope headbutt (I didn't know Kiyoshi even HAD a finisher!). Homicide covers Hernandez with the Mexican flag and is hoisted onto the shoulders of his new amigos.
Another good show this week, as TNA continues to fire on most of their cylinders. Maybe Jeff Jarrett's absence is a net positive, after all. Is this really the result of unfiltered Russo?
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 11.9.09 0318) Last 5 movies seen: Song of the South **1/2 - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince *** - Sin Nombre ***1/2 - The Hurt Locker **** - I Love You, Man ***1/2
I like the Homicide turn, but not the alliance with the World Elite. EY just isn't working as a heel svengali for me, and the group is too large and unwieldy. Hopefully he won't be doing the talking for 'Cide. The matches and promos should be boffo if the two of them are allowed to be the focus of the feud.
I'm baffled as to where they are headed for BfG. I could see them putting the belt on Sting and doing Sting/AJ as the big retirement match, but then that seems like such a waste of Angle's title run. I really don't want Angle/Morgan to be for the belt, though, and that seems to be where they're headed.
The Gauntlet match was a mess. And the Pope needs to turn babyface! One of the rare occasions where hiring an ex-WWE guys could be an unqualified success.
Roxxi only made one TV appearance and hasn't been back yet (though she could show as a surprise on the next major show.) I thought the Observer originally said she was trying to find a way to work both, but everything since seems less positive of that.
Why can't a tag team ever just go its separate ways without one partner turning on the other? I think the Dudleys are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head that split without turning on each other (happened when the WWE brands first split, I believe). At least the swerve didn't make Hernandez look like a total idiot, as he never would have expected his long-time partner to turn on him.
Go to Jobberville. Go directly to Jobberville, Doctor Stevie. The more things change...
I could have sworn Kevin Thorn dropped off the face of the planet, but it's nice to hear he's doing dark matches and might grace my TV again.
Originally posted by Amos CochranI like the Homicide turn, but not the alliance with the World Elite. EY just isn't working as a heel svengali for me, and the group is too large and unwieldy. Hopefully he won't be doing the talking for 'Cide. The matches and promos should be boffo if the two of them are allowed to be the focus of the feud.
I wouldn't be too worried about EY talking for Homicide. Unfortunately I don't think it's because Homicide is going to get a singles push but rather because it sounds like he wants to be released. LAX have always been against being split up and being the one that is clearly not getting the push is probably frustrating. I don't see why they can't be pushed as a team, especially since I'm not convinced Hernandez is good enough on the mic for the solo run.
I think Sting/AJ for the title at Bound for Glory is a safe bet. Morgan/Angle with no title at stake. Hopefully Daniels/Joe goes another month. That makes the most sense for them. I don't know what the do with the tag titles though. I don't want to see a 4 team match which seems to be the direction.
Originally posted by Amos CochranEY just isn't working as a heel svengali for me, and the group is too large and unwieldy.
Huh, this is the most interested I've been in EY in a long time. I do agree that the group's getting a little large, though (seven guys, right now) -- maybe they should splinter off the Brits from the Elite. They could still work together some (like WE and the MEM) but they wouldn't have to all come out together every time.
Originally posted by QuezzyUnfortunately I don't think it's because Homicide is going to get a singles push but rather because it sounds like he wants to be released.
I read on another message board (so this is third hand) that Meltzer, in the 9/7 Observer, said: "Homicide at one point was really unhappy about them splitting up LAX to where he talked about giving notice, but the company talked him into staying." So hopefully he sticks around for a while, although neither outcome would surprise me. He's one of those guys that TNA wants in the company, and wants on TV, but can't quite figure out what to do with him (see the Motor City Machine Guns for a more egregious example).
Originally posted by QuezzyI don't see why they can't be pushed as a team, especially since I'm not convinced Hernandez is good enough on the mic for the solo run.
Hmm, well, the Tag division is just really full right now -- with four teams vying for the belts simultaneously I'm not sure what they'd do with LAX. Possibly they'll try out a Hernandez singles push for a while, and then re-team LAX -- Homicide going back face to save Hernandez from a WE beatdown would be exciting, and then LAX could take on the Brits and Bashir & Kiyoshi (another team that's doing nothing).
Originally posted by It's FalseI could have sworn Kevin Thorn dropped off the face of the planet, but it's nice to hear he's doing dark matches and might grace my TV again.
I apologize for a lack of cite, but I think I read somewhere that he didn't impress in his tryout match (against Kip James).
Last 5 movies seen: Song of the South **1/2 - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince *** - Sin Nombre ***1/2 - The Hurt Locker **** - I Love You, Man ***1/2
I hope Homicide sticks around. I love Hernandez in the ring but from what little I've seen on the mic I think Homicide is actually better. It's too bad Konnan and Low Ki aren't still around. They could push Hernandez as a singles while still being a part of a group that has a tag team too.
If everybody has to wrestle Kip James to get a job then they're in trouble. Speaking of Kip, he hasn't even wrestled dark matches in a while has he? Is this a sign that his angle is leading to something?
I've also heard TNA is thinking about getting Candice Michele? The women's division has been going so well lately, but Angelina for Candice is one of the worst trade offs I can think of.
Ah, my tender reader, remember last week... the FAUNTASY booking. Oh yeah, you remember.... yeah I can't wash the stink of dorktasm out of my skin either.... WHAT WORKED- - God, JBL will blade like a complete psycho.