Nothin' yet, huh? For the sake of posterity, let's give this episode a quick run-down.
The Rock 'n Rave Infection vs. Christian Cage and Rhino: CCR wins with a Gore/Frogsplash combo on Rave. Forgone conclusion, of course, but not bad.
Matt Morgan vs. Johnny Devine: Morgan over Devine with the Hellevator in about a minute. Devine is a semi-credible threat in the X Division but a laughable jobber here; so it goes.
I skip "Karen's Angle" with the Beautiful People, but I note that Kip James shows up. This does not cause me to cease fast-forwarding.
Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Jay Lethal: "USA!" chants do not help Black Machismo; Bashir jabs Jay in the throat with what looks like a large-gauge drill-bit, then kicks his knee, and then DDTs the kneeling Lethal for the pin. Oh, that's called the "WMD." That's lovely.
Sonjay Dutt comes out afterward and hits the 450 (Hindu Press) on Lethal. (No sign of SoCal Val throughout.)
Team 3D vs. Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash: Joe does most of the work and makes Devon submit with the Coquina Clutch while Nash keeps Ray busy. Then Joe gets a chair to beat Devon with; Earl Hebner reverses the decision and gets decked for his trouble. Nash is upset.
Huh, there seems to be a pattern emerging of young "TNA" guys going overboard (Joe tonight, Styles on Sunday) while their elders urge moderation. I've heard rumors of a new "Millionaire's Club vs. New Blood" angle, and this seems to be setting the New Blood up to be the heels. Well, I'm sure that'll work THIS time.
Taylor Wilde vs. Christy Hemme: Non-title. Traci Brooks is again our saucy referee. Hemme gets a surprising amount of offense considering she's Christy Hemme, but Wilde puts her away (after Hemme misses a second-rope FFG) with a bridging German.
Afterward, Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed come out and take out both Wilde and Brooks. Gail Kim comes out for the save! Kim runs off Kong as Kim's sister, Katie Kim, looks on approvingly. (We've seen her on Impact before; I have no idea if it's her actual sister or what, or if she's a wrestler too.)
Hernandez vs. James Storm: Hernandez wants payback for Homicide's injury, and gets it, pinning Storm with a sit out powerbomb. Hernandez takes on Robert Roode next week!
Jim Cornette announces that Samoa Joe will be in a 4-way match for the World Title at No Surrender; his opponents will be the winners of three qualifying matches over the next three weeks. Next week: Booker T vs. Rhino!
Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles: In honor of the Olympics, this is "Olympics Rules": Three 2-minute rounds, takedowns and nearfalls are worth 2 points each or a pinfall ends it. No ropes, either. This is going along fine until the ref bump at the end -- then the lights go out! Sting's music plays -- Angle has a baseball bat! WAIT, the lights go out AGAIN -- Jeff Jarrett's music plays! Styles has a guitar! He hits Angle with it (busting him open hardway again) and pins him as the ref crawls back into the ring.
Super super dumb ending, as they set up special rules and then ignored them completely -- interference and foreign objects and shenanigans aside, the match had a countdown timer, which ran out but still didn't end the match. Argh.
Anyone else watch?
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 17.8.08 0320) Last 5 movies seen: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day *** - Smart People *** - Doomsday *** - Puzzle ** - Hellboy II: The Golden Army ***1/2
Hey, I actually watched a half-hour or so of Impact this week, so I'm marginally less unqualified to do this than most months. Hardy. I've noticed that I rarely pick for a title, especially a world title, to switch back to the guy who lost it last month....