I am operating under a heady cocktail of kidney stones and Percocet, so forgive me, but I'm not going to have much to say this week.
I liked the show overall, although a heavy finger on the fast forward button probably helped -- it saved me from the 753 Prince Justice Brotherhood skits, at least.
A lot of the intros tonight are incorporating intro footage from the upcoming video game.
Beer Money vs. Christian Cage and Rhino: Winner gets a title shot against LAX a Hard Justice. Team 3D interferes and gives Rhino a 3D to hand Beer Money the win; this sets up a Team 3D vs. Cage & Rhino Street Fight at the PPV as well.
The Rock N' Rave Infection & Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy, Curry Man, and Jay Lethal: Short but pretty fun; Lethal gets the Lethal Combination on Devine for the win (no Savage Elbow?).
Afterward, Jay goes to re-propose to SoCal Val but notices that she's not wearing his ring! He takes this as a blow-off and storms out. (For the rest of the show, Curry and Sharky and Super Eric question people about the ring backstage.)
The Six Sides of Steel are set up, with weapons; Booker T wants to give Samoa Joe a "tour." Joe comes down. He has a telescoping baton, and -- while Kevin Nash holds the cage door shut -- Joe takes down Booker. A black baseball bat is lowered from the rafters and Booker uses it to drop Joe! Booker looks up and says, "Thank you, Sting!"
AJ Styles is out and calls Sting out, demanding an explanation. The lights go out -- Kurt Angle appears and gives Styles an Angle Slam. And another -- and another.
Petey Williams vs. Consequences Creed: Non-title. Despite attempted interference from Rhaka Khan, Creed wins by sitting down on Williams in the middle of a Canadian Destroyer attempt. They are going to have this match again -- for the title this time -- at Hard Justice.
Kaz is on Karen's Angle and he says "it's better to burn out than to fade away" and he quits TNA and walks off. Here's Tomko, finally, to threaten Karen.
Samoa Joe tells Kevin Nash that he was looking Booker in the eye when the lights went out last week, and was then hit from behind -- therefore, someone else hit him! Was it Sting?
Matt Morgan vs. Sal Rinauro: Sal has the worst ring gear I've seen since Jason Jett -- pants on one leg, trunks on the other. Morgan is offended as well and kills Rinauro with the Hellevator (delayed vertical suplex into uranage).
Tomko is here, too, and Morgan kills him as well, the same way.
"Rough Cut" segment with Taylor Wilde, featuring a phone interview with Bill DeMott! Other Knockouts are offended that Wilde waltzed in and took the title.
The Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim and Taylor Wilde: Hey, the Main Event! Wilde wins with a Sunset Flip, with a dropkick assist from Kim.
Amazing Kong comes out now and hands out free Awesomebombs to Kim and Wilde. ODB is out, as is Roxxi, with a steel chair, and Kong bails. This stand-off looks like it could lead to Beautiful People/Kong/Raisha Saeed vs. Wilde/Kim/Roxxi/ODB. Traci Brooks is watching from the top of the ramp, and the announcers seem astonished by this; I can't figure out why.
Samoa Joe is up in the rafters searching for Sting, but finds...only a crow.
Obviously it's not going to turn out to be Sting doing this stuff, so who do you think it is? Sid Vicious? Orlando Jordan? I'm going to predict Bill DeMott!
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This makes me sad because it seems incredibly plausible, but I don't want it to be true.
Raven was released a few months back so I don't think there's much to worry about there.
Surely Nash has to be involved somewhere. They've been building up to a heel turn for what seems like forever and the whole angle has been built around Nash trying to teach Joe that the mental side of the business is just as important as the physical side. Suddenly Joe is experiencing all these mind games and is paranoid about everything.
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God help me... SummerSlam 1990. Hart Foundation/Demolition 2/3 falls w/ Legion of Doom "distraction," Mr. Perfect/Kerry Von Erich for the IC belt, Rude/Warrior in the old blue cage for the WWF title, Brother Love interviews Iraqi-lovin' Sgt....