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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 7-19-07
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 171 days
Last activity: 2 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
Jeremy Borash is trying to tell Kurt Angle that Jim Cornette wants to see him in his office, but Kurt is having none of it. He's tanning, wearing little goggles and an even smaller speedo. He accuses JB of looking at his "package." To be fair, JB kinda was.

XXX vs. Serotonin: I don't think they mentioned it here, but on TNA Today they said that the "XXX disbands forever" stips were null and void, since Skipper and Senshi had since been released and then later brought back under new contracts. So, yeah.

Pretty good but not outstanding re-debut for XXX against Serotonin (Martyr, Havoc, and Raven) sees Senshi pin Havoc after Havoc takes a top-rope Skipper legdrop followed by Daniels' BME followed by Senshi's Warrior's Way.

Kazarian comes out after the match and busts some 'tonin heads with a kendo stick.

JB with Angle again; Cornette is threatening to dock Angle $10,000 unless he shows up. Angle realizes that someone has stolen his titles, his Armani suit, and even his underwear! WHO COULD IT BE. Angle asks Borash if he's wearing Kurt's underwear.

Leticia talks to Christian Cage -- Cage has James Storm here to back him up. Storm says something in Boomhauerian. AJ Styles translates -- they're gonna go out drinkin' after the show. Tomko looks on in resigned bemusement.

Team 3D is out -- they want the Steiners to confront them next week. Devon puts Mike Tenay in a headlock -- I'm not sure if that's heelish or not.

Angle is addressing the locker room, standing on a table, wearing a speedo, flip-flops, and his little goggles. Petey Williams can't stop stealing glances at his package. Angle beats down Sharkboy because Sharky won't stop grinning.

Kip James vs. Lance Hoyt: James has BG James (who gets on commentary) and Roxxi Laveaux with him; Hoyt has Christy Hemme. Okay, see, the Voodoo Kin Mafia actually have NOTHING to do with Voodoo, which is one reason that the addition of a twitchy, shambling "Voodoo Queen" MAKES NO SENSE. Kip wins with the Fameasser.

Angle grills the writers and producers, and beats one of them up. (I saw no one I recognized -- I was looking for Russo.)

Rhino and Chris Harris vs. James Storm and Christian Cage: Chicanery continues as Cage and Storm pull out a win due to interference by Tomko and (oh yay) Dustin Rhodes, who hits Harris in the back with a chairshot.

Storm and Cage pour beer on Rhino until Abyss comes down. They flee up the other ramp and are blindsided by Sting.

After a commercial, Cage and Styles are in the parking lot -- Roode offers to take care of Abyss for them -- Cage and Styles get into Styles' truck to drive off. Styles: "What do you want to listen to?" Cage: "Anything but country." But Abyss in IN THE TRUCK WITH THEM! They scramble out the windows and run off.

Angle is in the ring -- wearing a striped bathrobe -- and is pretending to be all good-natured and stuff: "I like pranks, and ha ha that was a good one!" He then accuses the audience of stealing his stuff -- someone probably plans to sell his underwear on eBay "for two thousand dollars!"

Samoa Joe comes out -- he has Angle's suit, and FIVE GOLD BELTS. He gives Angle his suit and belts -- he says the last nine months are over with, this is a new chapter, he respects Angle, and, looking at all the gold in the ring, they're obviously the two best wrestlers in the world. He challenges Angle to a match, at Hard Justice (on PPV August 12!) -- not for "pride" or "respect" this time, but WITH ALL THE BELTS ON THE LINE.

"Are you in, or are you in?" asks Joe, and holds out his hand. Angle takes his hand -- they hug -- Joe raises Angle's arm -- and HEADBUTTS Angle in the face! Joe gets a table -- but Angle drives Joe through it! Anglelock! And...scene!

Pretty funny stuff from Angle and Cage throughout the show. Wrestling, on the other hand, was fair to middling.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Ratatouille **** - The Lady From Shanghai *** - Yo-Yo Girl Cop **1/2 - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End *** - The Astronaut Farmer ***
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Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 359 days
Last activity: 320 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.12
This is the first TNA show review that has ever made me want to start watching it. Kurt Angle in a speedo sounds hilarious. So that's the TNA World Championship, the TNA X-Division Championship, the TNA Tag Team Championships, and the IGF's "IWGP Third Belt Championship", which TNA is calling the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.50
Have they actually said that the "IWGP " belt is on the line? I didn't see the PPV, but otherwise I have barely heard them mention that belt.




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 359 days
Last activity: 320 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.12
    Originally posted by http://www.tnawrestling.com/news/fullnews2.php?all=1451

    As a result, Samoa Joe will face Kurt Angle at the Pay-Per-View with the winner getting the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, the TNA X Division Championship, the TNA World Tag Team Title and Japanís IWGP Championship.
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 23 hours
Last activity: 31 min.
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.01
"Angle beats down Sharkboy because Sharky won't stop grinning."

That's fantastic. TNA might have just won the TiFaux spot from SmackDown.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

My blog will amuse. (heygregory.blogspot.com)
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.50
    Originally posted by Mr. Boffo
      Originally posted by http://www.tnawrestling.com/news/fullnews2.php?all=1451

      As a result, Samoa Joe will face Kurt Angle at the Pay-Per-View with the winner getting the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, the TNA X Division Championship, the TNA World Tag Team Title and Japanís IWGP Championship.




Thanks. I am not as up on Japanese wrestling as I once was, and have been getting mixed stories on the legitimacy of this belt. So Brock was stripped of the real IWGP, but kept it Flair '91 style, and Inoki formed his own league using the same belt? Didn't he own the belt and run New Japan?




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
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rhyno with matt would be good, but you gotta keep shannon to. it'll lead to HILARIOUS segments in which rhyno gores the shit out shannon for lacking in mattitude, and is demoted to number 2 MFer. HILARIOUS!!!!!!
- Kong Fu Sing, Rhyno V1 (2003)
Related threads: iMPACT! 7-12-07 - iMPACT 7-5-07 - iMPACT! 6-28-07 - More...
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