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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 7-10-08 "Victory Road 'Drive-By'"
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 45 days
Last activity: 50 min.
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
We start off immediately with a "Parking Lot Brawl" between Homicide and Robert Roode (Hernandez and James Storm are barred from curbside). Don West says that Homicide has an advantage because he's used to this sort of thing. A MYSTERIOUS HOODED FIGURE appears and helps Roode beat up on Homicide -- it's James Storm! He has no respect for the Parking Lot Brawl tradición!

They drag Homicide, handcuffed, to the ring for a strappin'. Hernandez shows up, clears the ring, and there's Sting for some reason. In the rafters!

Masato Yoshino vs. Doug Williams: This is a World X Cup match. It's not bad. Yoshino is really really fast and Williams plays the Power Game. Williams wins by German suplexing Yoshino and then -- get this -- rolling through completely and Germaning him again, just folding Yoshino in half, and bridging for the pin. Wow! Wikipedia tells me that's the "Chaos Theory."

Kurt Angle is teaming with the Beautiful People tonight and is angry because they're doing their makeup. He tells them to do some squats or something. This causes Jeremy Borash, while "spotting" Love, to "stand" at "attention" -- and he gets the Brown Bag treatment.

Sonjay Dutt is training his Guru-ettes in yoga, and he and the trainer do ANOTHER "stand-behind-the-woman-all-sexual-like" joke. C'mon guys, let it breathe a little! Jay Lethal comes in and kicks his ass for a while, until Dutt surrounds himself with the little kids for protection. "You wouldn't hit a child, Jay -- you've got too much love in your heart!"

I find a lot of this current feud tiresome, but Dutt using children as human shields is pretty great.

Kip James, Petey Williams, and Tomko vs. BG James, Eric Young, and Matt Morgan: Wow, look at all the forgotten soldiers. None of these guys are, as of right now, even scheduled for Victory Road (this Sunday on Pay Per View!), and if they were, this match would not sell any more buys, because it is boring. Dull. Boring. Falls count anywhere, and Petey takes advantage by pinning Young with his slingshot huracanrana to the outside.

Abyss comes out after and clears the ring. He was supposed to feud with Scott Steiner, but it looks like Tomko might fill in for the injured Steiner.

Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong: This is for the $25,000 AND for the Knockout Title! Taylor Wilde now has a full name -- better than Braden Walker, not as good as Evan Bourne. Raisha Saeed interferes almost immediately, which brings out Roxxi (for some reason) to watch Taylor's back. Roxxi's T-shirt says "NO CARPET NO DRAPES." That's, um, something to think about.

Taylor Wilde is SPEEDY and PLUCKY but Kong pretty much owns her -- but Wilde is able to reverse a couple of Awesomebombs and kicks out of the Implant Buster (good one, too)! Kong goes for the backfist, but Taylor reverses it into a rollup -- FOR THE PIN! We have a NEW KNOCKOUT CHAMPION!

Awesome Kong looks like she might cry, and then her expression changes into KILL KILL KILL. That's pretty awesome. Taylor says that this is the greatest night of her life!

Kaz vs. Ultimo Guerrero: Another X Cup match. Kaz needs a better finisher -- the Wave of the Future is pretty weak looking, I think. (What do you think about it?) But it's enough to give him the win, despite Guerrero doing some good stuff off the second rope (front suplex! Inverted suplex! Powerbomb!). Also, I'll mention that Kaz went for something springboard and WIPED OUT but managed to come back -- he, also, is plucky.

(I have heard that Ultimo Guerrero enjoyed his time in TNA and would like to come back. Since there's already Hector Guerrero, though, they should probably change Ultimo's name -- I believe "Ultimo D'Amore" is available.)

Angelina Love is tanning backstage while Velvet Sky sits next to her, gossiping, which pisses Kurt Angle off again. Borash tells him to be careful -- "Kurt, watch what you say -- they'll put a brown paper bag over your head, and --" Kurt: "SHUT UP!" He wants to know why they're tanning. Sky explains that you never know who's going to be out there -- "TMZ, agents, talent scouts." Love sticks her arm out of the tanning bed, thumbs up: "Yaay talent scouts!" Kurt accuses them of only caring about what they look like and how big their boobs are. "SCREW YOUR BOOBS!!!" Ah ha ha!

Booker T tells Samoa Joe he's sorry -- sorry about what's going to happen to Joe this Sunday (on Pay Per View!) in Booker's hometown of Houston, Texas! Joe says Booker's sorry, alright -- he'll BE sorry he ever spoke Samoa Joe's name! Sting is here AGAIN! He says that he will be watching the match this Sunday! I assume that Sting will challenge the winner shortly thereafter.

The Beautiful People & Kurt Angle vs. Gail Kim, ODB, and AJ Styles: Another "fine" match. Both Frank Trigg and Karen Angle come out to observe. Things break down with all four women in the ring and Styles and Kurt brawling outside. Gail Kim pins Velvet Sky after a double-crossed-arm neckbreaker.

After the match, Trigg SNAPS OFF a fireman's carry on Styles! Angle catches Styles in an Anglelock, while Trigg -- and this is awesome -- gets down on the mat, pulls his handkerchief from his jacket pocket, and wipes away Styles' tears! Oh, man, Trigg is great.

Hype package for Victory Road (this Sunday on PPV!) and we're done.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 11.7.08 0129)

Last 5 movies seen: The Monolith Monsters ** - WALL-E **** - Vantage Point **1/2 - A Fool There Was *** - Rhubarb **1/2
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BoromirMark
Potato korv








Since: 8.5.02
From: Milan-Ann Arbor, MI

Since last post: 308 days
Last activity: 308 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.20
Those backstage bits with Angle were GREAT, he was in old-school goof mode while still being "serious wrestler" Kurt. "Screw your boobs!" is now in the running for quote of the year.

I don't like Kong dropping the title here. What does it say about Gail Kim and ODB and Roxxy that a supposed 'nobody' can slay the mighty Kong, when all their efforts failed? I can live with it more if Kong outright demolishes Taylor Wild at Victory Road, but it still doesn't sit right with me.

Speaking of Gail Kim, though I agreed with the direction of her "Knocked Out" or whatever interview piece, it was pretty funny watching her call out the Beautiful People for "caring only about looks" while wearing makeup that'd make Sensational Sherry cringe.

Team Japan's won me over, but Doug Williams' German on Yoshino was AWESOME.

Trigg was rather impressive, that fireman's carry was crisp and fast as hell. The handkerchief bit was also a nice touch.

Ok. I've never really gotten the Samoa Joe hype, he hasn't really impressed me. That said, it wouldn't matter if I was a huge fan of his, because quite frankly Booker needs to be crowned champion in the Kingdom of Houston. :D

(edited by BoromirMark on 11.7.08 1323)



Michigan against the SEC: 20-5-1 (7-3 in bowl games)

wannaberockstar
Morcilla








Since: 7.3.02
From: MA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 29 min.
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#3 Posted on
    Originally posted by BoromirMark
    I don't like Kong dropping the title here. What does it say about Gail Kim and ODB and Roxxy that a supposed 'nobody' can slay the mighty Kong, when all their efforts failed? I can live with it more if Kong outright demolishes Taylor Wild at Victory Road, but it still doesn't sit right with me.


I don't think that the others failed so much as Taylor was able to outwit an overconfident Kong. I have to admit I was drawn in to the match but I never expected Taylor to win (and I wasn't upset about the outcome). I'm sure that it will lead to a rematch at Victory Road, like you said, but it will probably humble Kong a little more. I'd say it was more like a shot across the bow to her. The contest gimmick is over, they introduced a new talent to the division, and it will probably lead to an even more pissed off Kong.

The rest of the show was good too. The beginning part of the Sanjay sketch dragged on a bit (I question the wisdom of putting to sketches with, essentially, the same punchline back to back) but the brawl between Lethal (noticeably less "Macho" like) and Sanjay was good stuff (especially with him hiding behind children).

And, yes, that Williams suplex was awesome.

One thing I wonder, do you think that the random six man tag in the middle is a result of not enough television time to fit in the roster or just an outright "hey, lets through them out here because we have nothing else". It made me sad a little to see Tomko go from teaming with AJ to teaming with Petey and Gunn.

I like Samoa Joe, but I wouldn't mind seeing Booker walk out the new champion.
2P4E
Boerewors








Since: 4.1.05
From: SE12, London, UK.

Since last post: 480 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.46
Fun fact: Mike Tenay and Don West can use the word "just" up to one thousand times an hour.

I think Lickicat had it right when he dubbed that move the "super-duper roly-poly German suplex".

Petey Williams is the X-Division champion still, so Tomko's not falling too far, it's only Gunn that brought that team down.
Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 13 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.98
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal

    (I have heard that Ultimo Guerrero enjoyed his time in TNA and would like to come back. Since there's already Hector Guerrero, though, they should probably change Ultimo's name -- I believe "Ultimo D'Amore" is available.)



Just translate his name into English! He can put some paint on his face, shake the ring ropes, and cut batshit crazy promos--it can't miss, I tell you! B^}
JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 4 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.80
    Originally posted by Peter The Hegemon
      Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal

      (I have heard that Ultimo Guerrero enjoyed his time in TNA and would like to come back. Since there's already Hector Guerrero, though, they should probably change Ultimo's name -- I believe "Ultimo D'Amore" is available.)



    Just translate his name into English!


The Final Warrior? Sounds foreboding.

Yeah I know Spanish adjectives!!! The Ultimo Dragon was actually "the last dragon," which is a good thing, because we definitely don't need any more dragons round these parts.

OTOH, the ultimate dragon was, of course, the wyvern. (It knows "megaflare.")
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 13 hours
Last activity: 10 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.82
A mixed tag match as the main event does nothing for me.

Did Awesome Kong need a humbling or something? Or is this what it looks like, a way to get more serious girls in the division?





(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 12.7.08 1741)
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