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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 5-3-10 "The Hogan/Sting Summit"
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 3002 days
Last activity: 1956 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
We open with Hogan and Bischoff in a limo. They are heading somewhere and they mention something about how everyone's "defecting" -- from WWE? I'm not sure.

Mike Tenay and Taz announce that TNA's moving back to Thursdays -- they spin it as "it's what the fans wanted" and "we're moving back home." Well, it's better than "we have vanquished our enemies and there's nothing left for us to accomplish on Mondays," I guess.

Ric Flair's music hits -- and JAY LETHAL comes out and he's wearing RIC FLAIR'S HALL OF FAME RING. (As I said last week: "Oh, please be Jay Lethal!" Thanks, Dixie!)

Jay Lethal cuts a "Nature Boy" promo -- I'm sorry, but this amused me. "SHUT UP" he says to a fan -- who's wearing a Macho Man-style robe, ha! Jay elbowdrops his jacket! Uh oh, here comes Flair himself, and he is not amused.

Lethal tries to talk him down, explaining -- meekly -- that he meant no disrespect. Flair's not having it, even though Lethal's given him back his ring -- he slaps Lethal once, twice, THREE times before Jay snaps, unloading with chops -- and the Figure Four! AJ Styles, Beer Money, and Desmond Wolfe come out to lay in the beatdown -- Team 3D, Abyss and RVD come out for the save, but the heels still have the advantage.

Until HULK HOGAN comes out (alerted via cell phone that Lethal's been acting out). He drops EVERY SINGLE HEEL with ONE PUNCH EACH, except for Flair, of course, who needs three or four. That was pathetic.

More brawling -- FFWD. Anyway, we get a bunch of matches set up for later tonight: Wolfe vs. RVD, Styles vs. Abyss, and Team 3D gets inserted into the Beer Money / Motor City Machine Guns match (aw, man).

Douglas Williams & Brian Kendrick vs. Ink Inc.: Douglas Williams still has the X belt, and cuts a promo about how wrong it is for TNA to try and strip him of the title. If Kaz wants the belt, he'll have to beat Douglas at Sacrifice! Douglas also complains about being thrown in a random tag team with Kendrick. He has a point -- I, uh, guess the British Invasion is no more?

Ink Inc. is the team of Jesse Neal and Shannon Moore. Lousy name if you ask me, plus now there are TWO incorporated tag teams in TNA, which seems improbable.

Match is, eh, alright. Ink Inc. has a title match against Matt Morgan at Sacrifice, so they predictably go over here, with the Mooregasm on Kendrick followed by a spear by Neal. Tenay tries to put that over as a great "double team move," but it's not, it's just one move followed by another move.

Williams and Kendrick fuss at each other up the ramp -- oh SAMOA JOE IS HERE and he clotheslines Williams down! Kendrick is all "SWEET BRO" but he eats a superkick and a Musclebuster. Joe grabs a mic -- NO we're not worth it. VINTAGE JOE.

Mr. Anderson -- wearing, huh, an altar boy's outfit -- beats down D'Angelo Dinero in back, then comes out to the ring to gloat. Crowd HATES him, in a good way. Jeff Hardy is here and he says, with the Pope on the shelf through Sacrifice (when did Hardy become a doctor?), Anderson needs an opponent -- and Hardy wants to be just that.

Anderson: "...Nah. I got somethin' goin' on that night, I can't do it. Any other night, but not that night." Cheap shot -- no, Hardy ducks -- Twist of Fate! Hardy pulls off Anderson's outfit, revealing underwear that says "TALK INTO..." on the back, and "THE MIC" in the front. Classy! Hardy grabs Anderson's cheeks and moves his mouth, accepting Hardy's challenge ventriloquist style. Tenay opines that that will be good enough for Hogan to count as accepting the match, and sure enough it's confirmed later in the news-crawl.

The Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde, Sarita, and Tara: Ugh, Lacey Von Erich is TERRIBLE and ANNOYING, TOO. All the titles are on the line here. No problem -- Tara can't get along with her teammates (they look VAGUELY familiar, but I don't remember ever seeing them before). Tara gets into a fight with Wilde, and Von Erich and Velvet Sky double-DDT Sarita, who gets pinned by Madison Rayne.

After the match, Tara challenges Rayne to a match at Sacrifice -- TITLE vs. CAREER. I wonder what will happen!

Beer Money vs. MCMG vs. Team 3D: Team 3D is the only team to get an entrance. MCMG look great in the beginning, but once they tag out they spend the rest of the match on the apron. Well, what there is of it -- Hall and Nash soon come out to attack Team 3D and that's a DQ.

Eric Young is out with a kendo stick for the -- OH he goes after Team 3D -- HE'S BEST FRIENDS WITH NASH AND HALL and that makes THE LEAST AMOUNT OF SENSE OF ANYTHING EVER.

MCMG toss Eric out and -- OMG THEY TOTALLY TAKE OUT THE OUTSIDERS!!! Double team dropkick/STO combo on Hall! Nash goes for the Jackknife but gets dropkicked instead! Ha ha ha!

Now Beer Money comes in and takes out MCMG -- is this leading to a 4-team match at Sacrifice?

Orlando Jordan is here with his new talk show, the "O Zone," and his first guest is a cardboard cut-out of Rob Terry, which Jordan hits on. The actual Terry, seemingly offended, shows up and shoves Jordan down -- but Jordan chokes him out with a chain and then drops a large "concrete" vase on him. I am almost looking forward to this match.

AJ Styles vs. Abyss: This is a Monster's Ball match -- which now just means "hardcore." These guys always work together well, so this isn't too bad. Abyss goes for the tacks. Ric Flair comes out, with Chelsea, who is dressed in a trench coat. Flair demands that she take off the coat -- to spread over the tacks, maybe? Abyss goes to defend her. Flair slips Styles the brass knuckles. Knuck shot to Abyss' balls -- that's his Kryptonite! -- and Styles hits a springboard crossbody, knocking Abyss over onto the tacks -- there's the pin.

Desmond Wolfe vs. RVD: The fans have started doing this "ROB VAN DAM!" chant during RVD's entrance theme -- it's actually pretty neat. Anyway, nothing much to see here -- match is super-short. The fans voted for Desmond to get the shot, so TNA blows that off as quickly as they can. Thanks for listening to the fans, TNA! RVD wins with the 5 Star.

Styles is back out and starts beating down RVD, shouting about his "rematch clause" -- I guess we're getting that at Sacrifice.

Hulk and Sting and Jeff Jarrett all talk about something something but I don't care. That's it.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 4.5.10 0301)

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used2bcool
Merguez








Since: 5.11.08
From: Ashland, MA

Since last post: 2090 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.87
C'mon, K, you've gotta be more enthused about the show you recap!

Kidding aside, this show's rating ranged somewhere between terrible and pathetic. IF we went segment-by-segment, this would score something along the lines of 3 for 11. That's poor even by TNA standards, usually they hit about .500 on that scale.



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Liverwurst








Since: 24.6.07
From: Greenacres FL

Since last post: 4909 days
Last activity: 4905 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.03
It wasn't bad for a free TV show that they've clearly lost faith in. 5/10 is about right. The Terry/Jordan segment will be fun to read on wrestlecrap one day, but I couldn't help but love it.

And hey, they didn't blow Wolfe vs RVD on free TV exactly! Minor victory, eh?!?



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graves9
Sujuk








Since: 19.2.10
From: Brooklyn NY

Since last post: 1680 days
Last activity: 1440 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.86
This show sucked something fierce. Hey fans vote for your fav wrestler to get a title shot and get squashed! I'm so glad the World Title Match was cut short so we could get a closing segment between two guys that last were draws back in 1998 and Jarrett who has never been a draw. I'm glad I missed Hogan beating up all the heels. Did The Dungeon of Doom run in to get beaten down too? The most shocking part of the show and maybe the year was The MCMG getting the better of The Band. The card board cut out has more personality than Rob Terry. Eric Young turning again eh? He'll still never catch Big Show's record in heel-face turns in a year because Show record in his first year plus in the WWE is unbreakable.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 3405 days
Last activity: 1416 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.80
I loved the Lethal promo! The brawl that followed was fun too, until Hogan appeared.

Moving back to Thursdays is fine with me. Maybe that will give them a chance to focus more on long term growth and development, instead of having to throw everything into one show to pop a rating.




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John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 3551 days
Last activity: 3551 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.58
"Based on the feedback we have been getting, TNA has listened to the fans and is moving iMPACT! back to Thursdays!"

I heard: "Based on everyone making fun of us for failing on Mondays, TNA has listened to Spike TV yelling at us and is moving back to Thursdays!"

Spike TV does count as "the fans". They are, after all, TNA's biggest fans for some reason.

    Originally posted by used2bcool
    this show's rating ranged somewhere between terrible and pathetic.


Abominable? Or is that worse than terrible and pathetic? Honestly, I only saw the first hour.

I missed much of the dialogue between Hogan and Bischoff in the limo. Where were they going that Hogan had to TURN THE CAR AROUND! when he heard what Lethal had done? Why were they driving AWAY from the show they're supposed to be running (aside from the obvious metaphor)?




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Captaincuba
Italian








Since: 25.10.05

Since last post: 3667 days
Last activity: 3542 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.79
Any idea on who the defecting "Big Fish" whose plane was supposed to land in 7 minutes is?

CC
John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 3551 days
Last activity: 3551 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.58
    Originally posted by Captaincuba
    Any idea on who the defecting "Big Fish" whose plane was supposed to land in 7 minutes is?


The Shark John Tenta? Oh wait, no, he's dead.

Tommy Dreamer? I hope it's Tommy Dreamer. He's big. He ate a whole pack of Vanilla wafers and milk the other night according to his Twitter.



@BackoftheHead
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graves9
Sujuk








Since: 19.2.10
From: Brooklyn NY

Since last post: 1680 days
Last activity: 1440 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.86
    Originally posted by kentish
    I loved the Lethal promo! The brawl that followed was fun too, until Hogan appeared.

    Moving back to Thursdays is fine with me. Maybe that will give them a chance to focus more on long term growth and development, instead of having to throw everything into one show to pop a rating.
Problem is they did that when they were on Thursday nights too.
GameCrazy
Chipolata








Since: 13.1.10
From: Wyomissing, PA

Since last post: 4914 days
Last activity: 3687 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.60
The fact that the Flair promo was the most interested I've been in Jay Lethal since... well, he started the Black Machismo stuff... does not say a lot for him. He's proven to be a really talented wrestler, and now a great impersonator. But hopefully his step out of character at the end of his Flair confrontation is the first step in getting him over on his own merits. He needs to spend less time stealing gimmicks and more time working on a personality of his own. I almost thought he was gonna defect to Team Flair by the end of the night, and I still hope they go down that road, because the fans just need some incentive to start caring about him again.

The "wrestling" on this show was abysmal. Nothing worth watching at all, which is a shame with the potential an RVD/Wolfe match has.

The Orlando Jordan stuff was tough to watch, for me. If he's been wanting to run with this gimmick for a while, I would expect it to be a lot more entertaining. Instead, he threw a couple of shitty catchphrases out there in the first 20 seconds and then had no personality to back them up. My thoughts about the angle aside, if he's gonna do it, he needs the promo skills to really sell it. Last night gave me no confidence in the potential for this going forward. Not to mention the fact that Rob Terry almost botched the run-in similarly to how he botched things up the other week when he came to Team Hogan's defense. This could be entertaining in a "can't wait to see how they fuck this up more each week" kind of way, but I don't think that's what they're going for.

So it looks like TNA hasn't completely forgotten about Samoa Joe's kidnappers... They brought it up a few times when he came out, so it seems like we'll get an explanation. Will it be worth the months of mystery? What do YOU think?

So now wrestlers can book matches by knocking out the person they want the match with, and then just moving their mouth and puppeting their acceptance? Somebody call Sheamus and let him know, he'd have a title match twice a night in TNA.

Did that ending segment feel weird to anyone else? I think it got cut off early because Spike switched programming at 10:00 on the dot. The whole thing suffered as a result, and it wasn't that compelling to begin with. With Sting's referral to Hogan's "mindgames" when he brought up Jarrett being taken out with the bat, I thought he was implying that he didn't do it. I half-expected Jarrett to turn on Hogan when he came out (which wouldn't make sense, but TNA has done worse), and I still wasn't convinced he wouldn't. Then he looked like he was maybesorta gonna hit Hogan, but then hit Sting, and it was just a disaster and a half. Did they know they were running out of time and do a rush-job or what?
wannaberockstar
Frankfurter








Since: 7.3.02

Since last post: 2726 days
Last activity: 189 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.00
Well, at least Cornette should have an interesting commentary, this week...

The Orlando Jordan segment was just.. weird. The best part about it was the "WTF" face that Taz had when the camera cut briefly to the announce team. And the guy spinning on the beach ball. That was pretty impressive.

Can we stop with the "authority figures are some place else" gimmicks? Seriously.. you're RUNNING THE SHOW and you're not even there when it starts? Not only that but they can instantly pull a u-turn, avoid any other traffic and hazards, and be back at the area in a matter of minutes? That's pretty impressive. I know professional wrestling is about suspension of disbelief but... really?

I might be in the minority but I dug the Anderson/Hardy segment. I thought it was the most personality Hardy has shown since, well, ever and Anderson was good in his role too. I admit that I chuckled over Hardy's ventriloquism act at the end.

I liked Jay Lethal at the beginning but what happened? We didn't see him the rest of the show. You'd think he'd be a little upset about being jumped by about five people instead he just fades into the background and we get the usual crew.

Why would you take a guy that, clearly, the fans WANT TO SEE and put him in a three minute main event without any introduction at all.. argh.

Speaking of a waste; what was with the Knockouts match? I might just be speaking from my bias toward Sarita (and Wilde) but why would you ruin a match trying to push the Tara hates everyone storyline when she has expressed her desire to leave the company next month?! (Why does she even have a problem with them anyway? It's not like they've been on the program recently?) With Tara leaving and Daphne and Love injured, wouldn't it be better to build up another team for the division anyway? Argh.

Sorry. I've been hoping TNA could do well. I want to like TNA. I really do. I have been more optimistic then I probably should be, lately but I'm worried if they keep doing things like this they'll turn away even the most faithful. I think I feel bad for the talent, most of all.

They have an amazing roster; they should be putting on *amazing* shows but, instead, we get this? Frustrating, indeed.

As a side note, I remember when they first started on Monday nights they had no problem going over 5 or 8 minutes. What was the reasoning for eliminating the overrun? Was it a ratings thing? I noticed that they've been stopping at 10pm on the dot for a while now.
Enojado Viento
Potato korv








Since: 12.3.02
From: Your Grocer's Freezer, NC

Since last post: 4156 days
Last activity: 3428 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
Considering Flair's predilection for referring to people in his group as "the muscle" and "the brains," this seems to me it can only end with all of them in a speeding van with no brakes and Flair yelling "WILDCARD, BITCHES!" and leaping out the back.

Also, I could take Eric Young seriously if only he didn't look like a damn Ferengi.




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Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 1917 days
Last activity: 1486 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.70
At this point I'd almost suggest the 'mimic' gimmick for Jay Lethal, except that gimmick is almost always death. And though he can do great impressions of Flair and Savage, that doesn't necessarily mean he can do impressions of everyone.

    Originally posted by Enojado Viento
    Also, I could take Eric Young seriously if only he didn't look like a damn Ferengi.


This would at least explain his constantly shifting loyalties.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 3405 days
Last activity: 1416 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.80
    Originally posted by graves9
      Originally posted by kentish
      I loved the Lethal promo! The brawl that followed was fun too, until Hogan appeared.

      Moving back to Thursdays is fine with me. Maybe that will give them a chance to focus more on long term growth and development, instead of having to throw everything into one show to pop a rating.
    Problem is they did that when they were on Thursday nights too.

Perhaps, but it seems like quite a bit more since they moved to Monday. I don't remember too many complaints of "why are they giving this away on free TV?" when they were on Thursdays.




"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

-- Mahatma Gandhi
Psycho Penguin
Liverwurst








Since: 24.6.07
From: Greenacres FL

Since last post: 4909 days
Last activity: 4905 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.04
I don't remember anyone using the 'mimic' gimmick except Haas and that got him more over than he ever was in WWE. I am sure I either don't know or have forgotten a lot of people though. Actually I remember Richards doing it in 1999, but that didnt last long.

And I find it hilarious that people's big complaints when TNA had a good show were 'they should make people want to pay for the match' then when TNA has a mediocre show it's 'why did they only give Wolfe and RVD three minutes, thats what the fans wanted!'. I guess there's a better way to get people to want to buy a match than a 3 minute match or giving it away, but it still kind of amuses me.



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"I think that in five years, Orton is far more likely to be in Billy Gunn Land than being a major player in WWE." - Big Bad - 11/22/03
BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 318 days
Last activity: 318 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.56
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    Eric Young is out with a kendo stick for the -- OH he goes after Team 3D -- HE'S BEST FRIENDS WITH NASH AND HALL and that makes THE LEAST AMOUNT OF SENSE OF ANYTHING EVER.

    MCMG toss Eric out and -- OMG THEY TOTALLY TAKE OUT THE OUTSIDERS!!! Double team dropkick/STO combo on Hall! Nash goes for the Jackknife but gets dropkicked instead! Ha ha ha!


Eric Young makes a little sense if you think about how they ran with Louie Spicolli for a little while and then Disco Inferno for a while longer. It also makes sense if X-Pac can't be counted on to do the majority of the work for them.

Hall and Nash might be old and really slow, but I do like the fact that they are letting other teams get the best of them at times. It's something I never expected out of them, heck Hogan still can't bring himself to do it.

This was a terrible show. There's just a lot of stuff I don't care about and don't want to see and then the other stuff that looks good gets glossed over, but I guess that's our TNA for ya.





(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 4.5.10 1541)
spf
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 3060 days
Last activity: 395 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
    Originally posted by Psycho Penguin
    I don't remember anyone using the 'mimic' gimmick except Haas and that got him more over than he ever was in WWE. I am sure I either don't know or have forgotten a lot of people though. Actually I remember Richards doing it in 1999, but that didnt last long.

    And I find it hilarious that people's big complaints when TNA had a good show were 'they should make people want to pay for the match' then when TNA has a mediocre show it's 'why did they only give Wolfe and RVD three minutes, thats what the fans wanted!'. I guess there's a better way to get people to want to buy a match than a 3 minute match or giving it away, but it still kind of amuses me.


It would seem that since people seemingly care for Desmond Wolfe (since he got 1/3 of the vote overall almost), and people seemingly care about RVD, that putting the match in a place where people might give them money to watch it would make more sense then giving these fans a very short squash match that likely pissed off that 30% of your engaged fanbase who voted for Wolfe hoping for a really good RVD/Wolfe match.



2007 and 2008 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
Psycho Penguin
Liverwurst








Since: 24.6.07
From: Greenacres FL

Since last post: 4909 days
Last activity: 4905 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.04
Well, depends if they are going to give the top vote getter the title match every week. I highly doubt it, but thats the only explanation that would make sense to me right now.

And they could still have a match on PPV one day, you know.



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It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2190 days
Last activity: 572 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.34
Well, the Jay Lethal promo was fantastic and it was all downhill from there.

So a contingent of RVD, Abyss, and Team 3D are outmatched until they're saved by the Almighty Hulk. This company just won't learn, will it?

And speaking of this company never learning, I wonder how shocked they'll be when people stop taking the X Division seriously because their guys are just cannon fodder for the bigger guys.




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Tyler Durden
Landjager








Since: 22.2.04
From: Frankfurt, Germany

Since last post: 1272 days
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.12
Jay Lethal was absolutely phenomenal!

The rest was ... well ... TNA.
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