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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 4-5-07
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 15 days
Last activity: 17 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
This show was "alright." There were some "alright" matches and ome "alright" promos.

Two out the three matches tonight were gimmick matches and it just baffles me -- as far as I know, neither one was hyped before hand, so what's the point? They're not using them to bump the ratings, and they're not using them to sell PPVs, and I am a layman but it seems like they are reducing the potential for gimmick matches to do either of those two things in the future, as well.

I suppose the idea may be that "you need to tune in every week because you never know what you'll see -- TNA is the place where craaazy gimmick matches are always goin' down!" If that's the case, I hope they do a Piranha Tank Match, because MTV cheated me out of the last one.

Rhino vs. Tomko is the first gimmick match -- it's an 8 Mile Street Fight, which is Rhino's "trademarked" name. In-the-crowd brawling, garbage can shots, Rhino wins with the Gore.

Team Cage and Team Angle brawl afterward and, of course, Team Angle gets its ass kicked again, since there are still only three of them to Cage's five.

VKM vs. LAX: Lance Hoyt is out with VKM -- apparently he's their "equalizer" to even out the presence of...Christie Hemme, who he carts off to the back. Too bad VKM didn't have someone to equalize the ENTIRE LATINO NATION, who run in and cause a DQ.

But then out come Team 3D -- they chase off the ENTIRE LATINO NATION and then cut a promo telling LAX that 3D is going to send them back to Tijuana where they'll be "making chalupas" and "selling their mothers for ten pesos apiece." (or "a piece," maybe.) Classy. (Don West: "That's more expensive than the last time!" Jesus, I don't want to know.) I am bitter and saddened that 3D will be taking the belts in a week a a half.

Team Angle is falling apart in the back -- Joe, in particular, is screaming at Kurt, and points out that he still hates him (good, they're not pretending that they're Best Friends Forever -- that's something, at least). Kurt says he'll tell them who's joining the team when he feels like telling them; Joe and Rhino are not mollified in the least.

Nash in back with his proteges -- Lethal has taken out his braids and has straight, reluctantly Macho Man-like hair. Dutt is wearing -- or, I should say, "enveloped in" -- an Oz cape, about which he seems extremely dubious. Nash makes a crack about working two matches in a year and making six figures.

Senshi vs. The Austin Starr: This is a submission-only match for no particularly good reason and probably a bad one or two. Some nice stuff until Bob Backlund -- who has been doing the Harvard Step Test and reading the TNA Rulebook throughout the show -- comes to ringside and throws in the towel, giving Starr the match.

I guess Backlund had reached the part in the rulebook that states that any random person can walk down to the ring and throw a towel in and end any match they please. I wonder why every match doesn't end that way! It's SO EASY!

Tenay and Sting have a sit-down talk -- Sting is upset and apologizes to Abyss for screwing up his life. It's about time Sting owned up to it!

Cornette holds a mandatory meeting where he sets the card for Lockdown:

Sabin, Dutt, Lethal, Shelley, and Sharkboy -- Xcape match for the X-Div title
Robert Roode vs. Petey Williams
Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels
Senshi vs. Starr -- Bob Backlund, special Referee
James Storm vs. Chris Harris -- blindfold match (joy!)
Gail Kim vs. Miss Jackie
3D vs. LAX -- Electrified Cage match for the Tag Titles
And, of course, Team Cage vs. Team Angle

(Tenay also mentioned earlier that Hemme would have another surprise team for VKM, but maybe that'll be preshow -- especially if it turns out to be Serotonin.)

Team Cage hits the ring to complain, so Cornette adds another stip -- who ever gets the pin at Lockdown, no matter whose team he's on, will get a title shot at Sacrifice. Team Angle and Team Cage end up brawling again, but this time STING comes out to even things up a little. He's had a change of heart and joins Team Angle after all!

Yay!

And then I had some ice cream.

--K



(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 6.4.07 0124)

Last 5 movies seen: The Silent Partner **1/2 - Happy Feet *1/2 - Casino Royale **** - Emperor Jones *** - Billy Budd ***1/2
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Peter The Hegemon
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Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 12 hours
Last activity: 10 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.97
Cornette continues his TNA history of acting like he's anti-heel, and then giving the heels huge gifts. "Christian Cage, I know you've been promising title shots left and right, under false pretenses, and I hate it so much I'm going to...completely take you off the hook! Of course, that might mean your teammates at Lethal Lockdown would turn on you--so just to make sure that doesn't happen, I'm going to give a title shot to the man who gets the winning fall, so they have plenty of reason to try hard! Take THAT!" Just like when he always used to "punish" Jarrett by setting up a title defense in two months.

I can't believe that when Backlund threw in the towel, Tenay didn't mention that he lost the world title that way.

(edited by Peter The Hegemon on 8.4.07 1838)
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 43 days
Last activity: 4 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.55
Please, God, don't let the 5th member of team Angle be Jarrett.




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.65
I don't think God can help you.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 43 days
Last activity: 4 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.58
Just read the spoilers. Aw, crap.




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: #YEG

Since last post: 2 hours
Last activity: 2 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.35
    Originally posted by kentish
    Just read the spoilers. Aw, crap.
I can't find the spoilers. Can you provide a URL?



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I've seen THREE movies so far this year: Because I Said So - (3*); Borat - (5*); Children Of Men - (4*)
Tyler Durden
Landjager








Since: 22.2.04
From: Frankfurt, Germany

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 22 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.45
I think what we will get at Lethal Lockdown is (of course) A SWERVE!

Because Christian will get the pinfall!!

And then there will be a RERVERSE TOURNAMENT (Donīt ask me about the rules. They will tell you. Or not!) on Impact to find the next challenger!



The first rule of Fight Club is:

You donīt talk about Fight Club!


The second rule of Fight Club is:

You donīt talk about Fight Club!
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 43 days
Last activity: 4 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.58
this is where I read them Oliver:


http://www.wrestlingobserver.com/wo/news/headlines/default.asp?aID=19055




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
J. Kyle
Boudin blanc








Since: 21.2.02
From: The Land of Aloha

Since last post: 88 days
Last activity: 2 days
AIM:  
Y!:
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.62
X-E's co-Worst Poster of all time! JKyle.com says:

    Originally posted by kentish
    Just read the spoilers. Aw, crap.
You know, this post is as good as a spoiler for those of us who still had HOPE...

Ok so I had no hope, but someone might have.



My comic updates on Sunday.
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