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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 4-30-09 "The Godfather's Revenge"
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
TNA Champion Mick Foley and bug-eyed cretin Jeremy Borash are walking and talking in the halls of power. Mick points out out that Jeff Jarrett's threats to fire Mick are empty -- "as executive shareholder, I don't work for Jeff -- I work with him." (cheerily) "And lookin' forward to doin' more in the future!"

JB: "Yeah, but what about last week, Mick?"

Mick: "Last week?"

JB: "Yeah, last week, where we went off the air with you hitting him with a steel chair in the back?"

Mick: "Awwww, JB, friends fight, you know that!"

JB: "Friends fight."

Mick: "Friends fight."

JB: "With steel chairs."

Mick: "Uh, yeah, what type of house did you grow up in, JB -- a household o' wimps?" (high, mocking voice) "Oooh, don't hit him with the steel chair, I'll tell mom!"

This was pretty great. This is what I want Mick Foley doing. I don't need to see him in the ring ever again, but this was some funny stuff.

Out in the Impact Zone, the Main Event Mafia (minus Sting) are in the ring. Angle says that he's "The Godfather." He wants in on the Sacrifice 4-way title match -- the one where everyone has to offer up a "Sacrifice" -- and he says that if he gets pinned, whoever pins him will be the new "Godfather." Right now, though, he says he's headed backstage to take over Foley's office.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Suicide & The Amazing Red: This is part of the 3D Invitational Tournament and RED IS BACK! He looks totally different -- I dunno if I would've recognized him. He's got short-cropped hair with designs shaved in it, knee-length red and blue tights and tennis shoes. He and Alex Shelley do some choreographed-type X stuff that ends with Shelley tangling Red up in a lucha knot and posing. MCMG gang up on Red for awhile, keeping him from tagging Suicide, including a double hip toss, hurling Red, like, twenty feet in the air. Red fights back with a couple of really cool moves -- including rolling over Sabin's back and kicking Shelley in the head.

Suicide is in and cleans both their clocks -- he gets a nice move in by Finlay Rolling Shelley onto Sabin. Red comes back in and huracanranas Sabin, planting him into a headstand, and then hits the Code Red (aka "stop saying Trevor Murdoch does a Canadian Destroyer, that's not a Canadian Destroyer") on Shelley. Suicide helps Red with a Barrel Roll on Sabin on the outside, and then he solves the Shelley problem with the Suicide Solution. That's the pin.

TNA better have a good reason for jobbing out their actual tag teams to these makeshift ones, I tell you what.

Later, Mick goes to the Guns and asks if they'll have his back when Angle attempts his "hostile takeover." Foley, playing the obsequious hypocrite, compliments them on their attributes: "Pizazz! Fire! Spunk!"

Sabin: (smirking) "Spunk."

Shelley: "That's gross. And inappropriate right now."

They tell Mick that they'll help if he uncovers Suicide's true identity. That's easy, says Mick, sotto voce: "It's Al Snow!" The Guns are unconvinced and make to leave; Shelley says, cheerfully, "And now YOU have a nice day!" and then, once offscreen, "I love you!" This, also, was pretty great.

LAX vs. The British Invasion: The British Invasion -- Brutus Magnus, Doug Williams, and Rob Terry -- have TAKEN OUT Hernandez backstage, knocking him out with his own Feast-or-Fired briefcase! (Didn't he already use that? Is he carrying it around for nostalgia's sake?) Now Homicide has to take them on alone!

This is another 3D Invitational Tournament match. Doug Williams we've seen before, although this is his first time teaming with Magnus -- they've got matching Union Jack tights. Rob Terry is a body-builder from Swansea and is in street clothes.

This is, surprisingly, a nice spotlight for Homicide, who actually holds his own against both Williams and Magnus, who are already bringing some double team moves, including a double-team version of a cross-arm neckbreaker (Gymini's finisher, if I remember right). Homicide still holds them off until Terry interferes, allowing the Brits to hit their finisher -- Magnus holds Homicide up in the air and Williams gets a European Uppercut of the top rope!

For those of you keeping track, the teams that have progressed in the tournament are Beer Money, Young & Holliday (?!), Red & Suicide, and The British Invasion.

(I wholeheartedly approve of the British Invasion -- Magnus has struggled in singles matches, but he's got a good look, can talk, and has some charisma -- and that little head-wiggle he does is incredibly obnoxious! Teaming with Williams is a great [if obvious] idea. In any case, I'm a sucker for tag teams in matching outfits.)

Awesome Kong vs. Madison Rayne: This is a stretcher match, but it's actually a Last Man Standing match. Put your opponent on the stretcher and if they don't get up by the 10-count, you win. The Beautiful People and Raisha Saeed are all sent to the back, and you can tell that Rayne really doesn't want to be here. And there's a chokeslam! Onto the stretcher she goes. No, Kong pulls her off -- Implant Buster! Onto the stretcher -- no, Kong pulls her off again! Awesome Bomb! Onto the stretcher! Crowd chants "one more time" and Don West calls them "twisted." Kong, in an unusually good mood, obliges. Onto the stretcher -- and this time it's over. Rayne got DEE-STROYED.

Motor City Machine Guns are out and call out Daniels, accusing him of being Suicide. MCMG run through the evidence -- same build ("let's face it -- that ass is unmistakable"), same movement, the crowd chants for Daniels whenever Suicide's in the ring -- and they demand that Daniels defend himself. Sabin -- THUMP -- shoves the mic into Daniels' chest.

Shelley: "He already has a mic."

Sabin: "I just wanted to hit him."

Daniels does not quite flat-out deny the charges, and this degenerates into a brawl, with Daniels chasing the MCMG out of the ring.

(This is the first movement of the Suicide angle from "he's a mystery!" to "seriously, who is he?" and, again, I approve, not least because it will culminate in ditching the Suicide gimmick and bringing back -- I predict -- Kaz. Next week I expect that the Guns will interfere in the 3D tournament, costing Suicide & Red their match. Maybe they'll start to beat down Suicide only for Daniels to make the save?)

Mick Foley asks Samoa Joe (with a black towel over his head!) for backup, but Joe walks away and Foley gets out the cell phone.

Cody Deaner vs. Abyss: Deaner got in Abyss' face earlier, and here we are. Deaner can use all the weapons he wants, but Abyss -- on the advice of Dr. Stevie -- can't. Deaner has duct tape as wrist tape, ha. His motto is "GIV'ER," which Tenay says means "Give it everything you've got, full throttle, pedal to the metal." Don West, wonderfully condescendingly: "Well of course it does."

Deaner clobbers Abyss with chair shots, trash can shots, and more after blinding Abyss with a whiskey mist shot. He goes into his fanny pack and comes out with a wrench, and then walks into a GIANT Black Hole Slam and it's over. Don West -- who has been really on tonight -- says that Deaner should change his motto to "TAK'ER."

Speaking of Dr. Stevie, here's Daffney, in the back and in full whack-job mode, dropping hints to Lauren that they have someone in common -- "Abyss?" says Lauren. "Heh heh ha ha ha," says Daffney.

Jesse Neal is training with Rhino -- for some reason, the words "BIG DADDY" hang ominously in the air. Neal, unfortunately, is not wearing his little sailor hat.

Booker T & Kevin Nash vs. AJ Styles and Samoa Joe: Joe, apparently, just didn't feel like coming out. I kinda feel like one "partner doesn't make it, other partner has to go it alone" angle is the most you can do in one show. Regardless. Styles actually is on the offensive until the first commercial break, when Joe finally wanders out. (Stung by my insinuation that he wears Zubaz, Joe has them tucked into his boots -- I submit that this is not an improvement.)

Styles and Joe argue, allowing the MEM to take control. While Joe has Nash down and is forearming him in the face on the outside, Jenna Morasca distracts the ref and Sharmelle slides the Legends Title belt to her hubby. Belt shot to AJ's face and that's it.

Kurt is in Foley's office and they do this weird thing where we think that Bobby Lashley is hiding in the closet to take Angle out but there's no one there. Kurt is pissed off, and takes Foley to the floor and starts choking him. "I'm gonna take that title and bash you over the head!"

Mick: "No, no, I love that title! ...Why are you so angry?"

Kurt: "WHAT? WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU HIT ME WITH A CHAIR!" (standing up) "LAST WEEK! DID YOU FORGET?!"

Mick: "...Where did I hit you?"

Kurt: (looks at JB, dumbfounded.)

Foley offers to let Angle hit him with a chair to even things up. "Alright, yeah," says Angle, looking around. "Where's a chair?"

Mick: (pats his office chair): "I got a chair right here."

Kurt: "No, that ain't gonna work, it's not a STEEL chair."

Mick suggests they use Jeff's guitar, and then they negotiate back or head -- Foley agrees to take a head shot, as long as Kurt avoids the quadrant with the stitches. At the last moment, Foley has second thoughts about infringing on JJ's gimmick and he calls Dave Penzer to have a chair delivered -- but then he blindsides Kurt with the phone and goes to get Mr. Socko!

The lights go out -- THUD -- back on, and Sting is here -- somehow HE got a steel chair -- but who did he hit? Perhaps we'll find out next week!

Yeah, so some good in-ring action and some actually funny comedy means I give this show a thumbs-up. Nothing blow-away, but solid.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 1.5.09 0318)

Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
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oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 2023 days
Last activity: 1957 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
Welcome to TNA 2009, where Samoa Joe and AJ Styles are feuding, Chris Daniels is in the X Division, and Kurt Angle and Sting are in the main event! If you've been gone a few years, don't worry-you missed nothing!



"And here...we...go."
JimBob Skeeter
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: MN

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 day
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.62
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    TNA Champion Mick Foley and bug-eyed cretin Jeremy Borash are walking and talking in the halls of power. Mick points out out that Jeff Jarrett's threats to fire Mick are empty -- "as executive shareholder, I don't work for Jeff -- I work with him." (cheerily) "And lookin' forward to doin' more in the future!"

    JB: "Yeah, but what about last week, Mick?"

    Mick: "Last week?"

    JB: "Yeah, last week, where we went off the air with you hitting him with a steel chair in the back?"

    Mick: "Awwww, JB, friends fight, you know that!"

    JB: "Friends fight."

    Mick: "Friends fight."

    JB: "With steel chairs."

    Mick: "Uh, yeah, what type of house did you grow up in, JB -- a household o' wimps?" (high, mocking voice) "Oooh, don't hit him with the steel chair, I'll tell mom!"




This really pissed me off as I know JB's brother and parents very well. Used to be in a band with his brother, who is one helluva picker. Ask him about his first experience driving our bus when the tire blew. Good times. Also, his Mom and Dad are wonderful people. I actually have a pic of myself and his Mom dancing together at my wedding 11 years ago. I didn't step on her feet, either!

Like I said, this pissed me off. Till I remembered it's wrestling, and all was well with the world again.

Also, I wouldn't call JB bug-eyed, even tho he and his bro have the same eyes. All the better to look lovingly at you.

Before they smash you over the head with a steel chair.

;-)


(edited by JimBob Skeeter on 1.5.09 0822)
Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 299 days
Last activity: 98 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.25
I have to admit, before last night, I'd managed to totally forget the existence of Brutus Magnus. (Much like the TNA bookers.) He didn't look too bad in there with Williams, though.

ODB, you are turning into a pineapple. Please stop.



"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?"
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 7 hours
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.75
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    and then hits the Code Red (aka "stop saying Trevor Murdoch does a Canadian Destroyer, that's not a Canadian Destroyer")


OK. OK. Mea culpa.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
CruelAngel777
Landjager








Since: 7.4.02

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.34
Deaner is growing on me like a virus I won't lie. He goes balls out with the gimmick to the point of wearing a fanny pack with a wrench in it and duct tape kneepads.

Amazing Red is back holy poop! His new look is uhh -interesting- but man he can still go. I was glad to see him back. Even though MCMG's jobbed again at least they got involved in an angle this time. A whoisit involving a masked video game character seems appropriate for Shelley and Sabin.

Daffney looked so......I wish to tan her bottom....with my tongue.
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 39 min.
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.54
I thought this was a great show. Yeah, Nash and Booker were in the main event but the tag matches were both good and the interviews were excellent. The Mick Foley and MCMG interviews remind me of the days when Mick and Edge/Christian were the most entertaining thing on WWE programming despite all the other bigger stars on the program.

I don't mind that MCMG lost since there was an angle to go with it and I like the British Invasion. I still don't think this tournament is going to change the tag team and bring in people all over the world like Team 3D said the mission of the tournament was.

Yeah it stinks that Joe and AJ are feuding with each other instead of fighting for the World Title and Daniels is in an angle with a X Division wrestler but even if the main event for Sacrifice is Foley vs. Angle vs. Sting vs. Jarrett the rest of the card could be something like Joe vs. AJ, Daniels vs. Shelley, Team 3D vs. Beer Money, Angelina vs. Kong, LAX vs. British Invasion. I'm thinking maybe Lashley sides with Jarrett and the Mafia accepts Morgan's offer to make Lashley vs. Morgan. Throw in Nash vs. Booker maybe. That would be the best card in a few years.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by JimBob Skeeter
    Also, I wouldn't call JB bug-eyed, even tho he and his bro have the same eyes. All the better to look lovingly at you.
I call JB a "bug-eyed cretin" with fondness, of course! I am a JB fan, and have been ever since he sent me an unsolicited email ("Hey, thanks") for complimenting him somewhere online on his work in WCW.

(He also responded when I emailed TNA complaining that they were pluralizing "Elvises" wrong, so that was nice.)

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
GodEatGod
Boudin rouge








Since: 28.2.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.33
The British Invasion definitely made Brutus Magnus more interesting, by leaps and bounds really. I'm okay with more regular teams laying down in the tournament, simply because it might lead to new matchups we haven't actually seen. A lot of the well-established teams have been wrestling each other on and off for a while now. While the matches have usually been good, I'd still enjoy something different. That said, I hope Beer Money wins the tournament (and the titles) in the end.

I really hope the unmasking of Suicide is coming soon. That costume is just shitty and makes everything he does look just a little more stupid. I also hate the Suicide Solution as a finisher. It's just too overthought.

Don West -is- getting better as a heel commentator and, while he's still not, y'know, GOOD, he's improving, and it's been a long time since that could be said of him. He gets two or three good lines a night nowadays, though, so good for him.

More Daffney, please. ASAP.



"Never piss off a hawk with a blowgun" - Conan O'Brien
Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 3 hours
Last activity: 3 hours
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
You guys can bitch and moan about how shitty Vince Russo is, but this episode of iMPACT was really good, script wise.

When he's on his game, Russo can really pull off a good show.



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 2023 days
Last activity: 1957 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
AJ and Joe had great matches three years ago. Daniels has been having great X Division matches for significantly longer than that. The whole point of the MEM angle was supposed to be getting these guys over as true stars. And it's been a catastrophic failure. In a year's time, when Sting finally quits, Foley stops being able to move and Angle's bolted back to Vince, where do they go?
And the big diff between Foley/E&C and this? Edge and Christian were champions and winners, not jobbers.



"And here...we...go."
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
I've read (FWIW) that Spike really wants TNA to put the spotlight on the old guys, and it seems to be working -- to a certain extent, and short term -- as far as TV ratings go. (PPV buys, who knows.) The long term problems, as OSH points out, are obvious:
    Originally posted by oldschoolhero
    In a year's time, when Sting finally quits, Foley stops being able to move and Angle's bolted back to Vince, where do they go?
I suspect that the idea is, there will always be more ex-WWE guys. In a year, Joe, AJ, and Daniels will still be where they are now, and the Main Event will consist of, say, Jeff Hardy, Ken Kennedy, Jim Duggan, and Mark Henry.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 4 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.64
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    I've read (FWIW) that Spike really wants TNA to put the spotlight on the old guys, and it seems to be working -- to a certain extent, and short term -- as far as TV ratings go. (PPV buys, who knows.) The long term problems, as OSH points out, are obvious:
      Originally posted by oldschoolhero
      In a year's time, when Sting finally quits, Foley stops being able to move and Angle's bolted back to Vince, where do they go?
    I suspect that the idea is, there will always be more ex-WWE guys. In a year, Joe, AJ, and Daniels will still be where they are now, and the Main Event will consist of, say, Jeff Hardy, Ken Kennedy, Jim Duggan, and Mark Henry.

    --K

You make a funny point for sure (Duggan!) but WWE does have a few more guys they can pull the triger on at any time. But will they? As far as TNA goes, there is still time to get Joe and AJ back in the mix with the MEM, in the meantime, why would we complain about geting Joe vs. AJ? Or Shelley vs. Daniels?




"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

-- Mahatma Gandhi
oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 2023 days
Last activity: 1957 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
Because we'd rather see matches we haven't seen ten times before?
And there's very little time left to mix those guys in. Without hyperbole, they're on their way to becoming near-permanently damaged goods.



"And here...we...go."
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 44 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by kentish
    You make a funny point for sure (Duggan!) but WWE does have a few more guys they can pull the triger on at any time. But will they?
Sorry, no, I meant that TNA's Main Event would consist of Jeff Hardy, Ken Kennedy, Jim Duggan, and Mark Henry, just by way of random example.

My point is, TNA doesn't need to push AJ, Joe, or Daniels to the Main Event, because there will always be people quitting or being released from WWE that TNA can scoop up and leapfrog over the homegrowns to plug straight to the top of the card.

AJ's a three-time Triple Crown champ but hasn't had a sniff at the World Title in years -- "sorry, AJ, Christian's here now" -- "Angle's here now" -- "Mick Foley's here now" -- "Bobby Lashley's here now."

There will always be a WWE cast-off to plug into that scene, and that will never change, so hoping for AJ or Joe or Styles to get elevated is a futile exercise in frustration and disappointment.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
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Get any of the matches from the Samoa Joe/CM Punk trilogy. I say Punk/Joe II was the best, but you'll probably find your viewing most rewarding if you watch them in order.
Related threads: iMPACT! 4-23-09 "Cactus Crosses the Line" - TNA Impact 4.16.09 - "Jeff Jarrett's Dilemma" - iMPACT! 4-9-09 "Who's Calling the Shots?" - More...
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