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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 4-23-09 "Cactus Crosses the Line"
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 174 days
Last activity: 15 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
We start with Jeff Jarrett and a mic (yay!) and the world title, in order to present it to Mick Foley, who shambles down to the ring. JJ tells Mick that TNA Management has decided that his first title defense will be at Sacrifice against THREE other guys -- all of whom will be putting up something to "sacrifice" as well. Mick points out (and to be honest, I loved this part) that "TNA Management" was pretty much just them two, and since Mick didn't remember making this match, it must be Jarrett's idea. Mick decides to go tit-for-tat and puts JJ in a "Cactus Jack Smack Attack" (basically, a "Mick Foley Chooses the Weapons" hardcore match) match against Scott Steiner.

Team 3D announces the "Team 3D Invitational Tag Team Tournament" -- it's an eight-team tournament and the winning team gets a $100,000 check and a title shot! (Where'd Team 3D get that kind of dosh?)

Beer Money vs. Lethal Consequences: This is the first match in the 3D Tournament. Mike Tenay says something about Beer Money not using their rematch clause in order to prove that they're the best. They get one step closer to proving it here, pinning Jay Lethal with the DWI (Drinking while Investing -- neckbreaker/powerbomb combo). Pretty fun. I like actual tag teams trading double-team maneuvers.

Eric Young is backstage with Jarrett and wants a shot -- not a handout -- just a chance. Lots of people complain about Young yo-yo-ing up and down the card, and at least they address that here, with Young saying that he thought doors were being opened that weren't. Anyway, Jarrett tells him that Holliday's tag team partner didn't make it tonight, so Eric can tag with him in the 3D tournament. Well, that makes perfect -- wait, what? Who?

Sojourner Bolt vs. Taylor Wilde: Sojo's new hair makes her look kind of -- I apologize -- drag queen-y. This is a ladder match with the prize being a title shot for "somewhere down the line" -- hmm. Sojo wins with a brass knuckle shot -- they get a closeup shot of her hand and I think she's holding them backwards, with the palm support facing out. Seems to work, anyway. Wilde took a couple of good spills but this was fairly uneventful. I'm starting to think that Bolt should be kept in tags teams for awhile longer.

The Beautiful People are out -- with male dancers! -- to celebrate Angelina Love's title win, but it's cut short by Awesome Kong (and Raisha Saeed). The bad girls all bail out and Kong Awesomebombs one of the dancers!

(So Bolt's got a title shot, ODB's Queen of the Cage, and Kong obviously thinks things are unfinished here -- are we looking at a 4-way at Sacrifice for the Knockouts, as well?)

AJ Styles vs. Kevin Nash: This is for the Legends Title. Not very good. Cleverly, they have Nash beat on Styles early, so that AJ has an excuse for moving slowly for the rest of the match so Nash can keep up. Nash uses his GIANT elbow brace as a weapon, leading Don West to hilariously claim that it's there to protect Styles from staph.

Anyway, Booker comes down and axe kicks AJ, giving him the DQ victory. Sharmell and Jenna Morasca (Kevin's new girlfriend) got in an argument earlier, so possibly Booker cost Nash the title on purpose here. This match is a microcosm of the whole MEM angle -- inter-stable squabbling does what the Frontline isn't capable of.

No Limit vs. "The Outlaw" Jethro Holliday & Eric Young: This is another 3D Tournament match. Holliday is TREVOR MURDOCH. Were the references to his "tag partner" a hint that Lance Cade (or Bo Dupp!) is on his way, or just a sly wink? Anyway, this isn't very good, barring some flashes of brilliance from Naito and Yujiro. Perversely, the team made up of two guys who JUST MET TEN MINUTES AGO wins following a crucifix roll-up by Young.

(I'm really not interested in Murdoch as a singles guy -- him and Cade could be alright, but what do they bring that Beer Money doesn't have already covered? Still, Cade & Murdoch coming in for the 3D Tournament would've been pretty cool.)

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Steiner: Standard hardcore match fails to interest me much, EXCEPT FOR THE PART where Jeff Jarrett clotheslines Scott Steiner while Steiner IS HOPPING ON A POGO STICK. AWESOME. JJ gets the pin with a guitar shot (!) and the Stroke.

Kurt Angle is out and he and Steiner double team JJ until Mick Foley makes the save (!), whacking Angle with the steel chair. But then -- swerve! -- he whacks JJ for good measure!

Foley leaves -- chased off by Styles and Daniels -- and Jarrett gets a mic and promises to fire Foley the next time he sees him. But BOBBY LASHLEY is out -- Angle and Steiner seem delighted and Jarrett seems concerned. (This means that Lashley will almost certainly side with Jarrett, meaning that he will almost certainly single-handedly save the Originals, right? Eh.)

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 24.4.09 0218)

Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
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used2bcool
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Since: 5.11.08
From: Lake Forest, IL

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 17 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.61
Line of the night was Mick Foley calling Jarrett "a turd in the punch bowl of life" just prior to the main event. Epic!

As was that pogo stick spot. Good fun.



Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame
Cover up your face, you can't run the race
The pace is too fast, you just won't last
- "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
TheBucsFan
TheChiefsFan








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.22
Why on earth was Scott Steiner hopping on a pogo stick?
Mayhem
Scrapple








Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 16 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.15

The things that TNA does these days is more confusing than any episode of Lost.
Hokienautic
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Blacksburg VA

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.67
Okay, I watch TNA somewhat regularly but don't follow it 100% closely. But am I misreading things that they seem to be setting us up for a Shocking Swerve where Jarrett and Foley were in cahoots all along?
TheBucsFan
TheChiefsFan








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 1 day
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.22
Here (until it gets taken down) is a video of Steiner on the pogo stick, for anyone who missed it.
Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 7 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
    Originally posted by TheBucsFan
    Why on earth was Scott Steiner hopping on a pogo stick?


It doesn't matter WHY he was, what matters is that it was EASILY the most random thing TNA has ever done and that says a lot for TNA.

Whoever came up with that spot needs a raise. That shit was awesome!



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 1898 days
Last activity: 1832 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
You really think Russo deserves MORE money for this shit?
I like the sacrifice concept, but it's undone by the fact that Foley either a)drops the belt in a meaningless four-way, or b)carries on as the most decrepit world champ since Hogan in `02 for another month. I'm guessing he retains and Jarrett ends up beating him for the title, given that Joe and AJ seem bound for yet another go-nowhere feud. The two of them are so like Jericho in 01-03 its not even funny.



"And here...we...go."
OndaGrande
Kolbasz








Since: 1.5.03
From: California, Home of THE LAKERS!

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 47 min.
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.25

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhh! it was all a set-up to drop the name of "Mister Pogo"!



LEARN IT, KNOW IT, LIVE IT!
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 9 hours
AIM:  
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.53
I liked the opening segment, Team 3D's Invitational Tournament and the first match but it snowballed from there.

I like the idea of a tag team invitational tournament but after Team 3D hyped it as a chance for tag teams all over the world we saw half the teams in the tournament and there was only one new wrestler and as Karlos pointed out an actual team lost to two random wrestlers and the team that lost was one of the few teams actually from another part of the world.

I have a feeling MCMG and LAX will make it to the semi-finals also. Not that the tournament would be bad that way but I don't see the point of hyping this as a tournament with teams all over the world that's going to change the tag team division when it is likely just going to be the same teams.

I kind of like the idea for the main event at Sacrifice and since AJ Styles is featured in the ad I'm holding out hope he'll win the title. Only problem is I bet we'll be able to tell who is going to win the match by what they are sacrificing. For example if one wrestler puts his career on the line then he is probably going to win.




Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 1 day
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.42
    Originally posted by TheBucsFan
    Why on earth was Scott Steiner hopping on a pogo stick?


That's got to be the weirdest (and most awesome) spot since the Spirit Squad's old "clothesline off the trampoline" spot.




"It's worth remembering that sometimes popular things are popular for a reason. Because they're GOOD or because Will Smith is in it."
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 174 days
Last activity: 15 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by TheBucsFan
    Why on earth was Scott Steiner hopping on a pogo stick?
It actually makes perfect sense to me. Scott Steiner is:

1) A show-off. This is a guy who breaks his own pins in order to do push-ups. He loves to shove his physical prowess in his opponent's face, even to his own detriment.

2) Totally bug-fuck nutty.

It's a little surprising that this is the first time he's been on a pogo stick.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
redsoxnation
Scrapple








Since: 24.7.02

Since last post: 390 days
Last activity: 390 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.72
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal


    Team 3D announces the "Team 3D Invitational Tag Team Tournament" -- it's an eight-team tournament and the winning team gets a $100,000 check and a title shot! (Where'd Team 3D get that kind of dosh?)








They worked for Heyman. It is very easy to give someone a $100,000 check. Just is slightly difficult for the person to cash said check.
On this sacrifice match: If all the people involved in the match are putting something up, would it just be the person who takes the pinfall who loses what they sacrificed? Sounds like the old Price is Right match in Memphis in the late 80's, where Lawler would put up his title, a heel would put up money that would be distributed to the crowd, Lawler's partner would put up his hair or cash and the other heel would put up his hair. Since Foley, Jarrett and Steiner were all in Memphis around that time period, would be reasonable where the idea came from.
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 174 days
Last activity: 15 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by redsoxnation
    On this sacrifice match: If all the people involved in the match are putting something up, would it just be the person who takes the pinfall who loses what they sacrificed?
See, that's what confuses me -- in a four-way match, does that mean that if random wrestler 1 pins random wrestler 2, that Foley -- not involved in the pin -- keeps his title? That'd be...weird? But it could be interesting, in that it matters who you pin, depending on what you want...hm.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Doubt **** - Burn After Reading n/a - The Princess Bride n/a - Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis **
Hokienautic
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Blacksburg VA

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.67
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
      Originally posted by redsoxnation
      On this sacrifice match: If all the people involved in the match are putting something up, would it just be the person who takes the pinfall who loses what they sacrificed?
    See, that's what confuses me -- in a four-way match, does that mean that if random wrestler 1 pins random wrestler 2, that Foley -- not involved in the pin -- keeps his title? That'd be...weird? But it could be interesting, in that it matters who you pin, depending on what you want...hm.

    --K


Dammit, that's one other point I meant to bring up in my above post re: Jarrett/Foley being a Shocking Swerve. I'm thinking Jarrett will be the first entrant into the match, saying he'd give up control of TNA to Foley if he got pinned. That'd bring in MEM folks to help see that through, only for one of them to get pinned.
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Maybe I've been missing something for a while, but Velocity seemed to put out quite a good showing.
- TheCheat, Velocity a Good Show (2003)
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