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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 3-29-07
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Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 81 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
I was in New York last week! It was really neat! And then I come back here and find that no one could bear to start an Impact thread without me! That's sweet, I guess! What, nobody had anything to say about the return of Judy Bagwell?

Actually, it was Abyss's mom, and she does not return this week, although she is the subject of a meeting between Sting and James Mitchell. They're discussing her and Abyss and Abyss's crimes over lunch in a diner -- someone's been watching Tarantino films!

Anyway, it turns out that Abyss didn't shoot his dad -- his mom did, and Abyss took the fall to protect her! This is what Mitchell holding over Abyss's head to force him to do his bidding!

You know, if I had a cunning blackmail scheme going, I don't think I'd explain it to the cameraman (or Sting, for that matter). On the plus side, Mitchell totally sticks Sting with the bill.

Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams vs. Shark Boy vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Austin Starr: This is a 6-Sides-of-Steel Xcape match -- elimination up to the last to guys, then it becomes escape-only. Jerry Lynn does FIVE HIPTOSSES IN A ROW! HE'S STILL GOT IT! Wow, Shark Boy just pinned Alex! That's like if Eugene pins C.M. Punk in the Money in the Bank match!

Dutt gets KILT by Lynn's Cradle Piledriver; Starr Brainbusts Shark Boy; and Starr gets Destroyed, Canadian style, by Williams. If I was Lynn I would already be heading up the cage -- some "crafty veteran" he is. Well, he wins anyway, but then Christopher Daniels comes out and drops him with a Stingbat.

Tomko is back -- Cage is excited to see him, but it doesn't seem reciprocal.

In the ring, Cage confirms that Steiner is Team Member #3 for Lethal Lockdown. He brings out Abyss as member #4, and tries to summon Tomko as member #5 -- but Tomko's not playing along. Oh, he finally comes out -- he wants his title shot (as do Steiner and Styles). Angle, Rhino and Joe come out -- Angle offers Tomko a place on his team.

Finally, Cornette comes out and points out that this is a wrestling show and they'll settle this in the ring. One member from each team will have a match -- winner gets Tomko on their team.

JB in the back with Team Angle. Angle says that, as leader, it's his responsibility to have the match tonight. Angle says that he has a fourth member waiting in the wings, and Tomko will round out the team. Joe keeps making these "what's that, again?" faces behind Kurt's back, ha.

Early prediction on fourth member: Jeff Jarrett

James Storm vs. Eric Young: James Storm, as a singles competitor, has so little effect on me that I forgot who Young was wrestling during the match. Ouch. Also, Young's offense sucks. He loses; Harris and Kim chase off Storm and Moore; and Roode comes out to berate Young again. This is an exact repeat of last week! Williams comes out again to defend him -- is he Young's "friend"? I'm going to guess no.

Early prediction on Young's friend: Jeff Jarrett (hey, I've GOT to be right on ONE of these!)

Team Cage discusses who will fight Angle, and Mitchell "volunteers" Abyss.

Split-screen promo with VKM (which now seems to include Hoyt) and Christie Hemme. She says she has another team for them at Lockdown! Kip responds by threatening to hurt her! Man, what a great angle.

Early prediction on Hemme's team: Jeff Jarrett The Dicks (renamed "The Tools")

Kurt Angle vs. Abyss: Unfortunately (and a little surprisingly), Tomko is not actually on a pole for this match; he comes down to ringside with two contracts, one for Team Angle and the other for Team Cage.

The match is better than their last one (which Abyss lost in, like, a minute) -- Abyss grits his teeth through some anklelocks, Angle kicks out of a Black Hole Slam, Hebner takes a bump through the ropes, and Angle wins with a rollup.

Tomko is in to congratulate Angle and sign the OH SHOCKING SWERVE Tomko lays out Angle with the clipboard! Now he gets the OTHER contract and signs THAT one -- Team Cage is complete! And now there's a big brawl between the two teams -- Cage outnumbers Angle 5 to 3. I was expecting the fourth member of Team Angle to come out for the save, but nope.

I do like the angle that Team Cage is complete while Angle struggles to rally wrestlers behind him. Rest of the show was alright.

Ever since getting back from New York I've started to feel weirdly woozy around 1 or 2 in the morning -- strange! -- so I'm going to wobble off now.

--K

EDIT!!!! OH! OH! I just realized that Jim's actions actually DO make sense!

I was wondering why Mitchell would spill the beans about his blackmail scheme on television, and I realized -- did YOU call the authorities? Did anyone you know call the authorities? No? Neither did I! Mitchell's plan is WORKING! He knows darn well that if anyone calls their local police station and says, "Hey, I got a hot tip for you -- I saw it on a wrestling show!" that it's not exactly going to be followed up on.

Basically, it's TNA's version of "The Purloined Letter" -- hidden in plain sight. Jim Mitchell, you diabolical genius you!

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 30.3.07 0212)


Last 5 movies seen: Happy Feet *1/2 - Casino Royale **** - Emperor Jones *** - Billy Budd ***1/2 - Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan ***1/2
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kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 1 day
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.54
The whole Abyss mess reminds me of the original Kane/Taker storyline. Russo seems to have had about 3 original ideas, ever, and has just lathered, rinsed, and repeated since then.

The Christian/Tomko thing reminds me of the HBK/Diesel angle from 94-95. Except most people only like Tomko as Christian's flunky. So that is one face turn I don't want to see.

I liked AJ better as the paranoid, bitter redneck, not as the wacky, dim witted redneck. He should NOT be playing Christian's flunky.




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
XPacArmy
Frankfurter








Since: 13.5.03
From: Woodbridge, VA

Since last post: 169 days
Last activity: 166 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.29
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    Early prediction on fourth member: Jeff Jarrett


    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    Early prediction on Young's friend: Jeff Jarrett (hey, I've GOT to be right on ONE of these!)


I am gonna say your right on both. Jeff Jarrett finally returns and gives Eric Young some confidence to fight back against Roode and sets up a match at Lockdown as Roode vs Young for Eric's freedom. Young wins with Jarrett's help. Which upsets Roode and leads Roode to interfere in Jarrett's match costing him the win leading to a Roode vs Jarrett feud.

(edited by XPacArmy on 30.3.07 0850)


Shem the Penman
Toulouse








Since: 16.1.02
From: The Off-Center of the Universe (aka Philadelphia)

Since last post: 81 days
Last activity: 11 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.43
Okay, now can you explain what Tomko's reasoning could be? When Cornette was making his "this is a wrestling program" speech, didn't he guarantee that Tomko would get a title shot if he consented to work with whichever team "won" his services? So why would he turn on Angle and lose Cornette's guarantee? Are we supposed to believe he'd prefer waiting for Christian to grant him the shot?



"The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?"
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 14 hours
Last activity: 2 hours
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.07
    Originally posted by Shem the Penman
    Okay, now can you explain what Tomko's reasoning could be?


Also, are we supposed to think Tomko is the guy to make or break a team? It's TOMKO. This little struggle should have been for Abyss, a former champ.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

My blog will amuse. (heygregory.blogspot.com)
cranlsn
Liverwurst








Since: 18.3.02
From: Sussex, WI

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.83

    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
      Originally posted by Shem the Penman
      Okay, now can you explain what Tomko's reasoning could be?


    Also, are we supposed to think Tomko is the guy to make or break a team? It's TOMKO. This little struggle should have been for Abyss, a former champ.


Seconded...and at least any "shocking" swerve would make more sense. Abyss is SUPPOSED to be unstable...and not too bright.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 1 day
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.54
It is Russo, perhaps it was a SWERVE all along by Cage and Tomko!




Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
oldschoolhero
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 1804 days
Last activity: 1738 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
As the Observer's guy pointed out, it also would've made sense for Tomko to keep his allegiances hush-hush until the actual match, guaranteeing a 6-on-4 advantage in the cage. But then this whole thing is convoluted as Hell anyway, so that's the least of the problems with it.



To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow
thecubsfan
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 7 hours
Last activity: 11 min.
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
On the whole, Hell is a bit more straightforward than TNA.



thecubsfan.com - CMLLBlog
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 197 days
Last activity: 164 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.75
Great recap by the way Mr. the Jackel.

As for TNA...yeah, like I'm going to watch it. I did watch it when Angle first went there on account of it being Angle. After the bungling of the Angle/Joe story, I'm done with it again.



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