Karen and Kurt are in back. We all know that AJ Styles didn't really marry Karen last week, but Kurt's still upset -- he tells Karen, "I don't appreciate you kissing AJ Styles in front of a minister!" Karen accuses him of being jealous; Kurt tells her to take her "damn soap opera to her other husband!" Heh!
AJ Styles and Tomko vs. Kip James and Bullet Bob: This is a title match! Kip James is subbing for BG James, who is on crutches due to Styles' SWEET missile dropkick to BG's knee at AAO. This match is, of course, quite bad. Karen comes out as per Kurt's request; crowd chants "KAR-EN STY-LES." Kip naturally, predictably, and finally turns on the Armstrongs, breaking BG's crutch over Bullet's back.
I was really hoping we had finished with Bullet Bob as an active competitor; hopefully this match does it. Actually, wait; I'll make an exception if they have a match between Kip and Bob, and Kip just KILLS Bob -- utter destruction, blade job, the works -- while the crippled BG looks on helplessly. That would be great.
ODB and Gail Kim are with Crystal in the back; they are teaming up tonight against Miss Jacqueline and Roxxi Laveaux. They are on the same page, they say. Karen and Styles are out now; AJ is confused about the legality of their "marriage," and is concerned about Kurt's reaction. Karen tells Styles that she'll worry about the legalities, and convinces him that they should go on their honeymoon now. (Hilariously, she is toying with the wedding ring Styles wears around his neck as she says this.)
Kip James cuts a shouting, barely-coherent promo about how BG rejected him in favor of his dad and shout shout stuff.
Jim Cornette, Matt Morgan, The Motorcity Machine Guns, and Sonjay Dutt are all in the ring and it is time to APPRECIATE BLACK MACHISMO JAY LETHAL. Jim puts him over BIG in his intro. Lethal comes out and talks (mostly in his regular voice) about how much this means to him, thanking X Division founders like Christopher Daniels, Jerry Lynn, and AJ Styles; he thanks the Guns for being the toughest guys he's ever met; he thanks Dutt for being his best friend, and they hug.
Finally, he asks SoCal Val to come into the ring. He says he has a very important question to ask her -- he drops to one knee -- "Will you go out with me?" Val is delighted -- positively glowing -- and takes the mic -- "Ohhhhh Yeahhhhh!" Cut to a shot of Dutt -- he looks like the epitome of the green-eyed monster -- that's an absolute glare of death, right there.
I think that playing a "character" for so long has done wonders for Jay on the mic; he sounded natural, confident, and sincere. This was a GREAT segment.
Kaz is in the back -- he's facing Rellik tonight -- or, as Kaz says, "Relish." Eric Young is here and FREAKING OUT -- Rellik is a monster! A MONSTER! He's going to KILL Kaz! Kaz SLAPS Young to get him to calm down and calls him by his FULL name, which sounds to me like "Eric Gargamel Young" -- that can't be right, can it? Kaz says that Rellik is just a man; just another wrestler. Eric, sotto voce: "It's 'Killer' spelled backwards."
Samoa Joe and Jim Cornette are in his office. Joe is wearing shades - that's just rude. He refuses yet again to sign the contract, saying that he'll wait until Lockdown -- if he wins his title match against Angle at Lockdown, he'll sign the contract -- otherwise, what's the use of staying?
Rellik vs. Kaz: Mike Tenay waits until Kaz's entrance to inform us that "Rellik" is "Killer" spelled backwards. I'm pretty sure that this is a running gag for them by now. Rellik is playing a brick, impervious to Irish whips and forearm shots (but not to planchas). Rellik goes for the cobra clutch -- Kaz fights out -- cobra clutch again -- Kaz pushes off of the turnbuckles and pins Rellik!
Black Reign is in with a neat spinny suplex and then feeds Kaz into Rellik's "Sickle" clothesline. Eric Young is out for he save, but waits until Rellik and Reign leave. I know I shouldn't, but I kinda like the "Eric Young is scared of monsters" angle. I assume he and Kaz will team up and Kaz will convince Young that there's no such thing as monsters and Young will come through at the last minute and vanquish the villains and save Kaz from a fate worse than death. I am looking forward to it. (Although, yeah, I wish Dustin Rhodes wasn't one of the monsters.)
Sonjay Dutt vs. Johnny Devine vs. Petey Williams: This is a #1 X Division contender's match. Some fun X-style stuff -- Devine has some cool offensive moves that he hardly ever gets to use. Scott Steiner and Rhaka Kahn are out; Steiner has his cases with him. Dutt is on the outside, and Steiner CLONKS him with a case. Kahn distracts the ref (and Williams) and Steiner punches Devine in the face. Williams, unaware, cradles Devine for the win.
Steiner is in the ring to congratulate Williams; Williams is pretty wary but they end up shaking hands. Steiner is trying to convince Petey that they're pals, and has helped Petey become the #1 contender -- but Steiner has a X Division Title shot at the ready as well! Intrigue!
AJ Styles and Karen Angle are at a fast-food Steak-n-Gravy joint. (Jeremy Borash has tagged along with a video camera.) Styles lights candles and gives Karen fake flowers -- "real ones'll die -- these'll last you forever! Don't burn 'em on the candles." He gives her a snowglobe and tells a surprisingly touching story about how he never saw snow growing up in Gainesville -- pray though he might -- until one Christmas, his Grandmother gave him this same snowglobe. Karen -- who after all is only here to keep AJ under her thumb -- finds herself unexpectedly moved.
Tenay and Rhino sit down for a chat -- I skim through it. Rhino is going to take on James Storm at Destination X in an Elevation X match.
Curry Man and Shark Boy are in back with Crystal. Curry Man's music hits and he dances -- Crystal joins in! Curry cuts a promo in Japanese. Crystal asks Shark Boy what he said -- Shark Boy ain't no damn interpreter! They're going to whoop some ass tonight! That's the fishin' line 'cause Shark Boy said so! I have stated that I am not a fan of the Stone Cold Shark Boy gimmick, and I still am not, but that whole segment pretty much ruled.
Shark Boy and Curry Man vs. Team 3D: First, the weigh in: Brother Ray weighs in at 275 pounds (!) but unfortunately, Devon does not. Okay, now I'm pretty sure that Earl Hebner is just fucking with their heads. Ray slaps Devon -- "Stop eating Twinkies, Devon!" -- and Devon starts to leave. Ray, trying to talk Devon back, is still holding the mic when Curry Man rolls him up, and he yelps, "Oh my God!" That's awesome.
Not awesome enough for the pin, though. Ray starts dancing and does the worm -- Don West, bless him, notes how much energy Ray has now that he's lost some weight. Devon brings in the scale, and Shark Boy hits him with the Stunner -- excuse me, the Chummer -- but Ray clobbers Sharky with the scale for the pin.
Styles has taken Karen (and Jeremy Borash) to GATOR LAND -- "Boom! Gator Nuggets!" They go to the GATOR WRESTLING PIT! Styles is poking gators with a rake! Karen is nervous, but AJ reassures her -- "they just have short bursts of speed. I mean they're really fast, but they'd probably just get J.B."
Gail Kim & ODB vs. Miss Jacqueline & Roxxi Laveaux: Roxxi has her own music and video now. Pretty good match -- inevitably and, yes, predictably, there is miscommunication and Kim missile dropkicks ODB. ODB is dragged out the ring by Jackie and Roxxi catches Kim with a snap fallaway slam for the pin.
Kim and ODB have an extended brawl post-match, leading up to, I assume, a #1 contender match at Destination X.
Christian Cage -- with Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe -- cuts a promo about how they're not friends and never will be, but this "Unlikely Alliance" is going to take out the Angle Alliance at Destination X.
Styles and Karen (and Borash!) are back at the hotel, outside Styles' room. Styles thanks Karen for walking him back. He says that he's confused about this whole thing -- "but there's one thing I'm not confused about. If you were my wife, every day would be our honeymoon." He kisses her on the cheek. Then, fumbling with his key card, "I gotta get some sleep! Good night! Um, I'm real sleepy!"
After his door closes, JB tries to talk to Karen, but she has a faraway look in her eyes. Again, I should probably hate this whole angle, but somehow, tonight at least, it's funny and endearing. Like Jay Lethal, I think that playing a "character" has really strengthened AJ's vocal talents.
Kurt Angle vs. Booker T: Non-title, and a fine TV match -- nothing unexpected. Pretty even matchup until Robert Roode (he's not even supposed to be here tonight!) comes out to attack Booker. Kurt sneaks in the Angle Slam and that's the match. Christian Cage comes out afterwards for the save -- here's Joe -- here's Tomko -- here's Nash, and Nash challenges Angle to a match next week!
I dunno if I'm in a particularly charitable mood this week or what, but I enjoyed this episode of Impact. It's weird that I would hate one show so much one week and then enjoy a show -- that was taped the same night! -- the next. Is it just me? How do you think they compared?
Last 5 movies seen: Margot at the Wedding *** - Michael Clayton ***1/2 - There Will Be Blood **** - We Own the Night *** - Becoming Jane ***
It came a week late, but I'm happy that Lethal's getting his due and he got put over big this week. On top of that, they're setting up the inevitable Sonjay turn beautifully and that'll be a great feud to watch when it happens.
What's not beautiful to watch is Team 3D. This is the second straight week that Curry Man and Shark Boy have lost 2-on-1 to half the Dudz and thus both look like dopes. Although that backstage segment did rule.
If Joe's on the verge of not being under contract, then why give him a title match at Lockdown? And with one guy's contract status in the air, is anyone else worried about the subtle similarities between this angle and the Montreal screwjob? Even TNA wouldn't be stupid enough beat THAT dead horse again, would they?
I can't believe they gave away Booker and Angle on free TV. Booker's TNA run to date so far has been a bust.
I'm sure thing whole thing with Styles and Karen Angle would mean a lot more to me if they didn't tease dissension between Karen and Kurt every single week leading up to this.
Originally posted by It's FalseWhat's not beautiful to watch is Team 3D. This is the second straight week that Curry Man and Shark Boy have lost 2-on-1 to half the Dudz and thus both look like dopes.
That's because they ARE dopes. I mean seriously, if Sharkboy was winning matches people would be crapping all over it, but he can't lose either?
This was an odd episode of TNA. I got some silly enjoyment out of AJ, Sharkboy and Curry Man and excellent promos from Lethal and Christian, but where's the wrestling? When did TNA become a good promo/bad wrestling show?
I think the only thing better than Kip destroying Bullet Bob would be if Kip slips and has a career ending injury. Then let BG be color commentator or something.
Originally posted by It's FalseThis is the second straight week that Curry Man and Shark Boy have lost 2-on-1 to half the Dudz and thus both look like dopes.
Technically 2-on-1, but actually 3-on-2, which isn't so bad. Anyway, who cares about Curry Man's won/lost record? He could lose every match he's in for the next two years and it won't have hurt Christopher Daniels, when he returns, at all.
I can't believe they gave away Booker and Angle on free TV. Booker's TNA run to date so far has been a bust.
I dunno. I feel like I've seen Booker vs. Kurt so many times already that they might as well just put it on Impact. It doesn't really have any intrigue to it anymore.
As far as Booker's run goes, I am torn. On the one hand, I'm glad that he hasn't simply moved into the Main Event permanently and been penciled in for a title run. On the other hand, I guess I'm not quite sure why he's here at all if he's not doing that.
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 23.2.08 0148) Last 5 movies seen: Margot at the Wedding *** - Michael Clayton ***1/2 - There Will Be Blood **** - We Own the Night *** - Becoming Jane ***
Originally posted by Karlos the JackalAnyway, who cares about Curry Man's won/lost record? He could lose every match he's in for the next two years and it won't have hurt Christopher Daniels, when he returns, at all.
Don't say that!
I could happily live the rest of my life never having to see Christopher Daniels again.
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With Funaki on TV every week, you know the future looks bright. But, you know, you never saw pro wrestling on the Jetsons or Futurama or when Bill and Ted went to the future... so THAT isn't a good indication.