We open with Mick Foley and Jeremy Borash arriving in the Impact Zone -- Foley's got luggage with him. Upon arriving at Mick's office, they find it occupied by Kevin Nash, who has taken it upon himself to redecorate, with framed posters of hoochie-koo women on the walls.
Foley has just returned from Tennessee, where he went in search of Jeff Jarrett. It looks like he's not staying here long, though -- Nash has arranged for Foley to have a one-on-one meeting with Hulk Hogan -- plane ticket included! (Foley notes that it's coach and includes two layovers, but still.) In return, Nash wants to run Impact tonight. Foley thinks that's a fair deal.
Nash comes to the ring with Eric Young in tow and explains to the crowd what's going on, and he runs down the entire card that he's booked tonight. He's got a handicap match with The British Invasion vs. Chris Sabin; Scott Steiner and a Knockout vs. Bobby and Kristal Lashley; Tara vs. ODB in a Trailer Park Throwdown match, where each Knockout chugs a six-pack before the match; Eric Young must defend his Global Title against...Hamada (!); Matt Morgan, D'Angelo Dinero, Hernandez, and Suicide vs. Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal (whoever gets pinned has to fight alone for the first five minutes of the 8-man Elimination Match at Final Resolution); Velvet Sky vs. Lacey Von Erich in a Mud Wrestling Match; and AJ Styles must defend his World Title against whoever bids the most money to go up against him. Whew!
I forgot to mention that Foley handed Nash a CD earlier containing footage of his trip to Nashville (they've finally graduated from video tape cassettes!) and they show vignettes of that throughout the show. The first one has Foley in the Nashville TNA headquarters; he pokes his head into the writer's room where Vince Russo and an old guy I don't recognize (could it be Kevin Sullivan?) are chillin'. They haven't seen Jeff. Neither has some dude named Dave, but Dave suggests a "meat and three" that JJ likes. (It's a restaurant where you get a meat and three vegetables -- I've never heard this term before, and Foley doesn't seem like he has either.)
The British Invasion vs. Chris Sabin: This is all three Brits, and Alex Shelley is banned from ringside. The Motor City Machineguns have a title shot against the Brits at Final Resolution, so this is Nash's attempt to take Sabin out. Chris Sabin uses smarts and speed to fight back against the odds, but the numbers game looks to overwhelm him when Brutus Magnus and Doug Williams hit the double Union Jack. Sabin manages to shove all three guys off -- Magnus and Williams go for a double clothesline but hit Rob Terry instead. Sabin hits a dropkick on Magnus and Williams simultaneously, then catches Terry with a tornado DDT -- no, he changes it into a small package for the pin!
Sabin only got the win because Terry is an incompetent goon, and Magnus and Williams give him a dressing down after the match. Terry almost snaps but does not. This has been building for a while, and is on track for Terry to turn face and capture the Global Championship during TNA's tour of the UK in January.
Christie Hemme (filling in for JB, who left with Foley) is with Scott Steiner. Steiner talks about his freaks and says that in his match tonight, he'll beat up both Bobby and Kristal, and also Miles, if he sticks his head in. Hemme: "Their son? He's two." Steiner: "No, he's one-and-a-half. That's the great thing about me -- I don't discriminate!" Ha ha!
Foley checks out the "meat and three," Ruby's Kitchen, and talks to Ruby herself. She hasn't seen Jeff for a month or so.
Bobby & Kristal Lashley vs. Scott Steiner and Awesome Kong: Kristal is really nervous coming down the ramp but manages to pull it together long enough to hit her pose. She's even more uncomfortable when Kong comes out (whew -- I was expecting Jenna Morasca). Lashley is the better man here, hitting Steiner with a Canadian Gutbuster and a T-Bone suplex. Kong wants in but Steiner ignores her. He and Bobby go outside to ringside, and Kristal pats Bobby on the shoulder -- "good job!" The ref thinks that this is a tag, which is silly because it's clearly the most non-legal tag in the history of ever. Mike Tenay and Taz wisely no-sell.
Steiner starts heading for Kristal, so she goes into the ring and does the Scooby-Doo backup into Kong. Kong scoop slams her and goes up for a splash, but Steiner slides in and pins Kristal (and then does suggestive pushups over her!). Kong is peeved.
Lauren is backstage with Samoa Joe, the first man to enter Final Resolution's Feast or Fired match. He's doing it because he thinks that "forces" at TNA are keeping him away from getting a title shot. Beer Money arrives -- they're in Feast or Fired as well, because otherwise they get no more shots against the British Invasion. Robert Roode says they have no choice, but James Storm is unconvinced that that's true.
The Beautiful People are backstage, complaining about their upcoming mudwrestling match. Madison Rayne feels that it's beneath them, but she also feels slighted that no one asked her to be in it. Kevin Nash arrives and tells Rayne that she's the Special Referee, and informs them that if they score a high rating, they will get a hefty bonus.
Hamada vs. Eric Young: This is for the Global Championship; Young also suggests that it's an audition for Hamada, to see if she's fit to join World Elite. (Not a bad idea; they could get another non-US woman to tag with her, since Hamada's already beaten Taylor Wilde and Sarita in singles matches.) Oh, hey, "Dropkick" Posey has returned to TNA -- they now have five refs, which seems like a lot.
Hamada OWNS Young here -- spinning head kick! Huracanrana off the turnbuckle! -- but Eric wins with his feet on the ropes after she misses her moonsault. Nothing here, really, but I continue to have no idea how seriously I'm supposed to take Young.
Foley stops at a bar to get directions and -- coincidence! -- Jeff Jarrett is there, scruffy-beard-and-watch-cap-bedecked.
Tara vs. ODB: This is a "Trailer Park Throwdown" match, and both gals have chugged a 6-pack beforehand. Tara's not much of a drinker, but ODB says this should be called a "Business as Usual" match. She brings in a bucket for Tara to throw up in -- Tara looks like she's going to take her up on it, but she's playing puke-possum and hits ODB with the bucket instead. And we're off.
Standard garbage match, but it somehow amused me enough throughout to enjoy it. All the plunder is "redneck" themed -- Mike Tenay reveals something about himself when he keeps talking about "that wooden handle" until Taz tells him it's a tiki torch. ODB wraps police tape (maybe not official -- "Cross the Line," it says) around Tara and then catapults her into a ladder leaning in the corner. She climbs up a Hornswoggle-sized stepladder and splashes Tara. Tara fights back and hits the milkshake moonsault, than goes up top -- no, too tipsy, falls down (this is really the only time the stip came into play). ODB chokes her out with a chain and then hits an X-Pac-style facebuster onto a chair for the win.
Team 3D, Rhino, and Jesse Neal vs. Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and Suicide: Neal comes out wearing D'Angelo Dinero's jacket, and Brother Ray (who has "ECKI" written on his wrist tape) explains that The Pope will not be joining us tonight.
Suicide is face in peril for a while, then tags Hernandez. Hernandez dives over the ropes onto Rhino and 3D, then comes back in and gives Neal a sitout Dominator. Kickout at two, and then we get a big chain sequence of finishers -- I always like these! Brother Ray gives Hernandez a Bubba Bomb -- Morgan gives Ray a Carbon Footprint -- Rhino belly-to-bellys Morgan -- Missile dropkick from Suicide to Rhino -- Brother Devon hits Suicide with the Saving Grace -- and Hernandez completes the circle by Border Tossing Devon. But then Neal gores Hernandez -- for the pin!?!
I am pleased that after all that, it still came back around to the two legal guys for the finish. As per the stips, Hernandez will now be by himself for the first five minutes of the 8-man match at Final Resolution.
Lacey Von Erich vs. Velvet Sky: This is a mud wrestling match, or, as Tenay calls it, "eight sides of plastic." All three gals roll around for awhile. There is no animosity evident, although Madison Rayne is momentarily offended when she gets pulled down into the mud (she fails to point at her official ref patch, though). Velvet pins Lacey, although I'm PRETTY SURE that Lacey HAD THE SHOULDER UP.
Jay Lethal tells Lauren that the invitational is back on next week, and that he lost to Jim Neidhart because how to you prepare for an unknown opponent? Lethal plans on ending this angle by taking on Hulk Hogan himself.
There's an Abyss video that, apparently, is TOO SHOCKING for Spike to let them show, but they hype that you can see it on their website. It shows Raven and Stevie and Daffney (all in "street clothes" -- Daffney looks particularly weird in a baseball cap, and not even a tiny one perched at a jaunty angle) setting Abyss on fire! And dude is really ablaze -- seems like way too much risk for so little reward.
AJ Styles vs. Desmond Wolfe: Wolfe is the highest bidder and gets a title shot. Kurt Angle is on commentary, just because he wanted to see who out-bid him, he says. Fun little match -- way too short, of course -- around 4-5 minutes -- but it's basically a preview for a longer match at some point in the future, anyway, right? -- which will be awesome.
Wolfe focuses with LASER-LIKE PRECISION on Styles' arm and just won't let up. He grabs a wristlock and won't let go, even after an armdrag and a scoop slam. After a couple of reversals back and forth, Desmond hits the Hammerlock DDT and a single-arm suplex (is there a technical name for that? Desmond holds Styles' left wrist with his right hand, puts his left hand under Styles' left armpit, and suplexes him overhead while holding Styles' arm straight), and then slams AJ's arm into the mat for good measure.
Styles fights back with a fireman carry into an across-the-knee neckbreaker, then hugs his own arm to his ribs, causing Tenay to exclaim, "I think AJ may have hurt his arm!" Oh, for crying out loud. Taz gently reminds him that Wolfe has been attacking that arm for the last several minutes.
AJ manages to hit his Superman forearm, and a shoulder block. Wolfe kicks Styles in the crotch on the way down -- looked totally accidental, and ref Earl Hebner buys it, but after he turns his back to check on AJ, Wolfe grins and points to his brain. Wait, here's Daniels (not Angle, surprisingly, who's right there)! Wolfe has words for him, and Styles takes advantage of the distraction -- roll-up, bridge, and a pin.
Wolfe is none too chuffed and goes after Daniels, trading forearm shots while the announcers opine that Daniels wants to be the one that gets the belt off of Styles (also, if Styles lost the belt here, Daniels wouldn't even have a title match at Final Resolution).
Finally, we have one more Foley/Jarrett segment. Foley convinces Jeff to come back to the Impact Zone, head held high -- forget the past. JJ's worried about Kurt Angle (although who knows why, since they never bother to explain any of this "insider" stuff to us). Foley says worry about Angle later -- let's worry about Dixie now. Jarrett agrees and they shake on it.
Man, I hope Nash "gets the book" in real life!
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 11.12.09 0349) Last 5 movies seen: Public Enemies ***1/2 - The Fountain ** - Gigantic *** - The Heartbreak Kid (1972) **1/2 - Gomorrah ***1/2
From the early spoilers, I thought this would be the worst Impact, ever. It was just ok. Tara/ODB was pretty good all things considered and Wolfe/AJ is a PPV waiting to happen. Eric Young is getting way too much face time while the rest of World Elite has just disappeared. I sadly missed the mud wrestling match due to the Steelers continuing to suck.
Jarrett/Foley was good for what it was, I did like JJ saying "Looking for someone?" cut to him and then go to commercial. The show needs more of those moments. The Kurt excuse makes no sense to an average viewer, but seem to there for the smarks. Which is ok from time to time, but as a major plot point, they should have discussed it. I do think it was bullshit, JJ got suspended for that when Kurt was notrious in TNA and WWE for screwing around behind Karen's back, but that is a rant for another time.
I am glad it wasn't a total disaster, but if this is an indication of how things are going to be under Hogan which I kinda doubt, then the show is in trouble. Hopefully, this is a sign that Nash is being a jackass til Hogan shows up and rips him a new asshole.
In kayfabe, weren't Kurt and JJ already bitter enemies when JJ left? They may go that route, that he couldn't co-exist with Angle anymore. More likely, this will turn into an angle on TV, similar to Matt/Edge/Lita.
I always assumed the company realized they needed Kurt in the ring more than they needed JJ on screen or backstage. Which is probably true, if not totally fair. But how does the owner/founder of the company get bossed around and sent home by Dixie anyway? Did JJ lose some power at some point?
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
Originally posted by kentishBut how does the owner/founder of the company get bossed around and sent home by Dixie anyway? Did JJ lose some power at some point?
Yes, Panda Energy has controlling interest. Wikipedia says they own 72%, which leaves JJ with 28% (I don't *think* anyone else owns any). Dixie is president and Jeff is vice president.
I have no idea how much power owning 28% of a company gives you, though.
I was wondering how Dixie Carter took over the company but I never looked into it until now. I couldn't imagine being in Jarret's position of being the owner and founder of a company, but also being the vice president of the same company acquired through a power move by a former company publicist/rich daddy's girl.
Originally posted by Karlos the JackalFoley has just returned from Tennessee, where he went in search of Jeff Jarrett. It looks like he's not staying here long, though -- Nash has arranged for Foley to have a one-on-one meeting with Hulk Hogan -- plane ticket included! (Foley notes that it's coach and includes two layovers, but still.) In return, Nash wants to run Impact tonight. Foley thinks that's a fair deal.
I found that to be incredibly hilarious, for some reason. Two layovers between Orlando and Nashville? Wow.
Though, I gotta wonder where he's meeting Hogan. Doesn't Hogan also live in Florida? Or does he still "hail from Venice Beach, CA"?
While most of us are clamouring to get through Starrcade, and head over to a fresh new year (with the big question lurking; will I continue onwards with the WCW timeline or move on … TO SOMETHING ELSE?!?)