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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT 10-11-2007
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It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.68
Well, this week's show was the very definition of Bowling Shoe Ugly. It's only the second two-hour show and I already think TNA might have pissed away any potential new audience with the crap that's come out. Here are the grisly details.

-Show starts on a high note with Kurt Angle walking into the arena in Garrett Borden's jersey.
-"Black Machismo" Jay Lethal v. Havoc. This is non-title. Lethal has DDP's rib tape...or Kane's rib tape, if you want a more recent reference. Havoc targets the ribs to control most of the match, culminating with a moonsault for 2. Lethal makes the comeback and finishes with the Lethal Combination and Savage Elbow for the pin. Short, but decent.
-Kurt Angle comes to the ring to cut a Sting promo. He wants to face the Old Sting. Is that anything like the Old Stone Cold? Karen Angle comes out and there seems to be dissension between the couple. Yes, they're teasing dissension AGAIN! Karen reminds everyone about faking getting slapped by Sting and reveals it was all an insidious plot by Kurt all along. Wait, wait, back the truck up a sec. That would mean Kurt purposely blew a match and lost his tag titles just to get under Sting's skin? That's not even a swerve; that's just stupid and ridiculously insulting to everyone's intelligence. Sting appears on the TNAtron and threatens Kurt. The segment ends with a fake Sting coming down from the rafters (Oh lord, I thought that shit was retired) and getting punked out by Angle in an alleged "mind game" by Sting.
-After the break, the real Sting is in the rafters. Kevin Nash tries to talk him out of his rage, but Sting will have none of it.
-Team Pacman cuts a nonsensical promo. Pacman calls XXX a couple of porn stars and Killings sings a lot. Yup.
-Team Pacman v. XXX. Senshi and Elix Skipper represent XXX this week. XXX beats down Killings to start, but Killings comes back with some kicks. He makes the tag to Pacman and...are you ready for some football? Pacman chucks it at Senshi's nuts. Believe it or not, that isn't even the stupidest moment in this match. Killings comes back in and it's pretty much 2 on 1 from here. Finish comes with Skipper looking to put Killings away, but Pacman comes in and makes it rain. Yes, he threw a bunch of Washingtons in the air. This distracts Skipper enough for Killings to hit the Ax Kick for the pin. I'm sure Roger Goodell is thrilled to no end that TNA is actually celebrating Pacman's favorite strip club activity. How long until this clown is off my TV for good?
-The Steiners come out for a promo and congratulate Team Pacman on the way out. Again I ask, when the hell did Team Pacman become faces and WHY? Scott cuts an intense promo and points out that Team 3D will go down as bingo hall backyard wrestlers. He says that at Bound for Glory, the Dudz will roast like the fat pigs they are. Nice promo.
-The Dudz have a rebuttal backstage. Ray says the Steiners are washed up like Britney Spears. Ooh, them's fighting words. Ray says that at Bound for Glory, they'll toss back some beers and piss on the Steiners. The Steiners come in for a confrontation and the teams are separated. Well, the promos have been good, but I'm a little wary of how the actual match will go.
-Kevin Nash tries to calm down Kurt, who's taking out frustrations on Karen. Kurt tells him to piss off, so Nash backs off and says he won't be at the PPV. If I know Russo's booking at all, not only will Nash be at the PPV, but he'll turn on Sting and reveal he was in cahoots with Angle all along. I guarantee it.
-Amazing Kong v. Gail Kim. The women in this weekend's Gauntlet match are at ringside. Kong overpowers Kim for the whole match and wins with an Amazing Bomb. The other women suitably wet themselves and I think TNA may have found their top female heel.
-Don West talks to Sonjay Dutt, who wants everyone's money for the Guru Humanitarian Fund. Sonjay wants to find the cure for Ebola, you know. What the hell is the POINT of this?
-After the success of the old Peep Show, Christian Cage hits the talk circuit again with "Chattin' with the Champ". Christian and Styles are in Hawaiian shirts and the ring is designed like a beach to make guest Samoa Joe feel at home. Christian tries to get in Joe's head, pointing out Joe has yet to beat him. Joe responds by making fun of the set. He astutely notices the coconuts and points out that the Snuka thing is played out. Christian wants to toast to their match this Sunday. Stone Cold Joe toasts and then attacks both Cage and Styles. AJ tries to crack a ukulele over Joe's head, but Jeff Jarrett's guitar it ain't, so Joe just brushes it off. Matt Morgan comes down to take AJ away. Christian gets the upper hand by throwing salt in Joe's eyes and cracking him over the head with a coconut. What did Joe just say about that spot being played out?
-Robert Roode v. Petey Williams. Hey, remember when Petey Williams was relevant? Me neither. Williams is on offense for most of the match, including a slingshot huracanrana to the floor. Canadian Destroyer looks to finish, but Roode reverses to the Payoff for the pin. Welcome to Jobberville, Petey. Roode berates Miss Brooks after the match, but Kaz makes the save. Considering the good match they put on at the last PPV, I'm looking forward to the inevitable rematch.
-Kurt Angle drags Jeremy Borash on a search for Sting. His search takes him to the men's room for God knows what reason. Do you really need me to tell you that he finds Junior Fatu taking a dump in one of the stalls? Wow, I'm REALLY glad they signed Rikishi just so they could resurrect that bathroom humor that got old in...well...actually, that bathroom humor was never funny.
-Black Reign & Raven v. Rhino & Abyss in a No DQ match. Reign and Raven attack Rhino as soon as he hits the ring, but Abyss comes out with his full entrance. He leisurely saunters to the ring while the heels continue beating on Rhino, but finally gets in and clears the ring of the heels. Reign and Rhino fight on the floor while Abyss gets a bag of thumbtacks. Jim Mitchell tries to take out Abyss from behind with a trash can lid, but Abyss no-sells it. Abyss chases Mitchell, but Raven catches him with a thumbtack DDT in a gruesome visual. Raven covers, but Reign breaks up the cover. Why the hell would he do that? Raven & Reign are arguing now and Rhino cleans both their clocks. Raven gets a GORE GORE GORE through a table in the corner and Reign gets a spinebuster through a trash can. A blinded Abyss gets up and hits the Black Hole Slam...on Rhino. Reign covers Rhino for the 3. The last few minutes of that match made ZERO sense whatsoever! Who's booking this crap?
-Kurt Angle & Team 3D v. Junior Fatu & LAX. Jim Cornette appoints Matt Morgan as the enforcer of this match for some reason. Morgan ejects the Latino Nation. Skipping to the end, Fatu gets the Stinkface on Angle before taking a really bad looking 3D from the Dudz. Hernandez clears out the Dudz and Homicide looks to put Angle away with a roll-up, but Ray manages to distract the ref. Angle quickly recovers and gives Homicide the Olympic Slam for the pin. Post-match, Sting comes in disguised as a member of the Latino Nation and attacks Angle to end the show.

Maybe I'm being overly harsh on this show, but this was God-awful. I'm incredibly frustrated that someone in the front office thinks the best way to attract a new audience is with horribly booked drivel, strip club antics from Pacman Jones, and insulting storyline twists.

I'm hoping next week is better, but I'm quickly losing patience with this show.

(edited by It's False on 12.10.07 0257)



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Guru Zim
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Since: 9.12.01
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.81
I don't think that they think a two hour show is going to get them a new audience. Everyone keeps saying this, but I don't understand why.

Have you ever thought to yourself - Hey, the Office used to be 30 minutes, but now it's an hour. Now I have to see it!

Expanding the show to two hours meant that their existing fans would be drawn in for another hour.

More show = more time with the same eyeballs.

Anyone who thought that making their existing writers double the amount of work that they do would increase the quality of the finished product has never tried to double the amount of work that they do

That said, I bet SNL would be freaking brilliant if it was 15 minutes long a week.




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Since: 28.6.04
From: Troy, NY

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.93
    Originally posted by Guru Zim
    I don't think that they think a two hour show is going to get them a new audience. Everyone keeps saying this, but I don't understand why.

    Have you ever thought to yourself - Hey, the Office used to be 30 minutes, but now it's an hour. Now I have to see it!

    Expanding the show to two hours meant that their existing fans would be drawn in for another hour.

    More show = more time with the same eyeballs.

    Anyone who thought that making their existing writers double the amount of work that they do would increase the quality of the finished product has never tried to double the amount of work that they do

    That said, I bet SNL would be freaking brilliant if it was 15 minutes long a week.

See, the thing is that ideally they wouldn't double their workload. The "we need two hours" was an excuse for how completely rushed everything was on the show, with the argument being that they were trying to fit two hours of a show into one hour.

And now with two hours everything is still just as rushed, just as stupid, and TNA will still be dipping below 20,000 buys for their pay-per-views.

Regardless, it's a writing team that has to write the equivalent of one two-hour wrestling show a week and one pay-per-view a month. A writing team for wrestling. I know we like to think that it's this very complicated form of entertainment, but it's actually quite simple as long as you understand the industry, how a feud works, how to get a guy over, and what draws money (the main event and its stars).

TNA can't grasp any of those concepts, and as a result they have people in there who, despite some being in the industry for fucking years, don't have a clue and overcomplicate already stupid shit. The result is something so bad that at times it barely even resembles a wrestling program. TNA, at a time when they should be working their way towards being a viable alternative to WWE in order to draw in some fans, instead has selected all the worst aspects of professional wrestling in the past decade (the ones that don't draw money), amped them up, and focused on them instead of being a viable alternative - get this - wrestling promotion.

And no, I don't just mean they should have longer matches.

This company's doomed.

(edited by Deputy Marshall on 12.10.07 1445)


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Since: 12.12.01

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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.67
More pathetic than WCW, as if there had been any question. I wish nothing but horrible things, professionally, for everyone in a position of power and, indeed, anyone who enjoys this SpikeTV program.

(edited by JustinShapiro on 12.10.07 1520)
kentish
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Since: 19.8.05
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.56
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    More pathetic than WCW, as if there had been any question. I wish nothing but horrible things, professionally, for everyone in a position of power and, indeed, anyone who enjoys this SpikeTV program.

    (edited by JustinShapiro on 12.10.07 1520)


Couldn't you just not watch it?




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Deputy Marshall
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Since: 28.6.04
From: Troy, NY

Since last post: 3441 days
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.93
    Originally posted by kentish
      Originally posted by JustinShapiro
      More pathetic than WCW, as if there had been any question. I wish nothing but horrible things, professionally, for everyone in a position of power and, indeed, anyone who enjoys this SpikeTV program.

      (edited by JustinShapiro on 12.10.07 1520)


    Couldn't you just not watch it?

I won't speak for Justin, but I know that in my case it's frustrating because it has ALL the tools - in terms of its roster, its time slot, its network, other deals, and their seemingly bottomless resources - to be successful at worst. And yet, they bleed money and put on one awful program after another.

For people who just watch wrestling, yes, they can just not watch and it's all "whatever". But for the folks on this board who follow wrestling as a whole, grew up watching it and are totally fanatical when it comes to most anything involving pro wrestling? It's simultaneously a frustrating, depressing, and fascinating topic.

(edited by Deputy Marshall on 13.10.07 0005)


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Peter The Hegemon
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Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 51 days
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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.13
Yeah. I'm not watching it, but I'm frustrated by that, because I *like* wrestling, and I'd like to have one wrestling show I really want to watch every week, and I don't. I especially like non-WWE wrestling--I preferred WCW for a long time, got into ECW, and was a big fan of TNA in the Fox Sports days and when they first came to TNN as well. But no more. And there's no good reason for that, because they could easily put out a product that would be more to my liking AND would draw more ratings and more money. Doubt that? Consider how little either has increased since the introduction of Kurt Angle and other big names.
BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.34
    Originally posted by kentish
      Originally posted by JustinShapiro
      More pathetic than WCW, as if there had been any question. I wish nothing but horrible things, professionally, for everyone in a position of power and, indeed, anyone who enjoys this SpikeTV program.

      (edited by JustinShapiro on 12.10.07 1520)


    Couldn't you just not watch it?


I watch it because I like wrestling, but TNA is a terribly crappy form of wrestling.

If I was a cokehead I would still do a line of crappy coke thinking it would do the trick and if it didn't I'd probably bitch about that too.

There's no way a company should be putting out such a huge pile of crap every week with the roster they have.

Those (TNA) that don't learn from history (WCW) are doomed to repeat it.





(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 13.10.07 0005)
griff
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Since: 26.2.04
From: Chester, England

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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.11
Bring in Paul Heyman!

Seriously though, I think that there are two possible outcomes for TNA. Either they eventually get ran into the ground and have to shut up shop or someone in the organisation with some sense decides it's time for a new direction, with which I mean they change the booker.

Does anybody know what happened to the possibility of Brock Lesnar coming in? That rumour dried up pretty fast...
hansen9j
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Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.42
They have Jim Cornette and aren't using him, why would they think they need Paul Heyman?



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JustinShapiro
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Since: 12.12.01

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#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.67
    Originally posted by kentish
    Couldn't you just not watch it?


Sir, I resent the implication that I do.
Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
I enjoyed parts of the show, so maybe Shapiro only wishes one or two horrible things on me, or a bunch of slightly-horrible things. No skin off his nose either way, of course, but if I get hit by a car and it's, like, a tiny little car I'll thank him.

Anyway, yeah. I was more bored than offended by most of this Impact, so, uh, kudos, I guess. After the horrible, horrible Hard Justice PPV I decided I would give them until Bound for Glory to convince me to keep watching by showing me where they're going -- I figured what with the two-hour show and their "Wrestlemania," that they would make a bold statement about their intentions and direction for the future.

True to form, of course, they have not, instead choosing to bumble along aimlessly in much the same way they have for some time now.

I feel very much as Deputy Marshall -- they have what they need, but they have made what seems to be a very deliberate decision to not use it. It's right there and every now and then we get a glimpse of it but then they hire Rikishi and Black Reign because, what, because the "Stars of Tomorrow" aren't good enough, apparently. They're never going to get to become the stars of today, because TNA has demonstrated that making them stars is simply not on their "to-do" list.

(You know, I wouldn't be so offended if they had hired Solofa Fatu, but they very clearly hired Rikishi, if you see what I mean. Oh! Look! He's sitting on the toilet! Ha! Ha!)

I've read that Kurt Angle is currently involved in a power struggle backstage to wrest control from Jeff Jarrett, and that he wants more focus on wrestling. Man, I hope this is true. I mean, it can't get worse, right?

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Monster House *** - 28 Weeks Later **1/2 - 3:10 to Yuma (2007) ***1/2 - Eastern Promises ***1/2 - Knocked Up ****
hansen9j
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Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.42
I especially wish that TNA knew how to build towards matchups.

Last year was especially egregious; the hot matchups going into BfG were LAX v. AMW, Angle v. Joe and Christian v. Sting. I STILL don't understand Christian's heel turn as a money-making concept. That for me was the equivalent of Summerslam 2003 (when they squeezed all of their well-built singles matches into one match), only with zero understanding of what the PPV audience would buy and what they wouldn't.

I keep drifting back to the first Joe/Angle. It was the biggest PPV audience in TNA history; it's the only one me and my buddies paid for. There is no logical way of looking at the PPV that would inspire further purchases of first time buyers. LAX stripped of the belts (seemingly). Abyss wins the title on a rarely-enforced and certainly uber-rarely mentioned stipulation. Jackass.

I cannot picture a time more suited for the ticket-buying public (by which I mean 90% smarks) would be more interested in a show and go away less interested.





Oh, Impact. I watched the second half and nothing overtly offended me, but I did not come away feeling like I had to pay any money to see TNA's Wrestlemania.



A Knight of Prosperity. And also a Communist.

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JustinShapiro
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Since: 12.12.01

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.67
Remember, my curse only applies to professional or business aspects of your life. And it is only aimed at people who are totally on board, which at this point actually may not be anyone anymore.


    I've read that Kurt Angle is currently involved in a power struggle backstage to wrest control from Jeff Jarrett, and that he wants more focus on wrestling. Man, I hope this is true. I mean, it can't get worse, right?


I'm all for it if only for that reason, plus Jeff ultimately getting forced out of his vanity project would be pretty funny. The only problem is, Kurt might want to focus on wrestling, but his political ally and the guy who has written the epic Kurt & Karen storyline is Vince Russo, who has not done a single successful thing as a wrestling writer since before Smackdown existed.

Even if Kurt himself spearheaded the creative direction, I wonder just how much he actually understands pro wrestling outside of the ring -- if he really got it, his program with Samoa Joe never would've went the way it did. He's only been with one company and all he's ever known is the Stephanie McMahon/Brian Gewirtz way of doing television, which in some ways is successful in spite of itself.
Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    Even if Kurt himself spearheaded the creative direction, I wonder just how much he actually understands pro wrestling outside of the ring -- if he really got it, his program with Samoa Joe never would've went the way it did. He's only been with one company and all he's ever known is the Stephanie McMahon/Brian Gewirtz way of doing television, which in some ways is successful in spite of itself.
I read -- again, who knows (you?) -- that it was Angle who insisted on putting Jay Lethal over clean at the last PPV, and that he was pretty upset when TNA subsequently and immediately jobbed Lethal out as hard as they could. So that right there is enough to make me say, "Angle in '08! or before!"

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Monster House *** - 28 Weeks Later **1/2 - 3:10 to Yuma (2007) ***1/2 - Eastern Promises ***1/2 - Knocked Up ****
geemoney
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Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.55
The Nash/Sting "in the rafters" little segment was one of the best things I've seen on TNA in a LONG time. Both played their parts perfectly and didn't sound overly scripted. Well done.



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oldschoolhero
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Since: 2.1.02
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
      Originally posted by JustinShapiro
      Even if Kurt himself spearheaded the creative direction, I wonder just how much he actually understands pro wrestling outside of the ring -- if he really got it, his program with Samoa Joe never would've went the way it did. He's only been with one company and all he's ever known is the Stephanie McMahon/Brian Gewirtz way of doing television, which in some ways is successful in spite of itself.
    I read -- again, who knows (you?) -- that it was Angle who insisted on putting Jay Lethal over clean at the last PPV, and that he was pretty upset when TNA subsequently and immediately jobbed Lethal out as hard as they could. So that right there is enough to make me say, "Angle in '08! or before!"

    --K


The story was that Angle insisted on putting Lethal over clean, then got pissed because, later that same night, Joe tossed Lethal around like a jobber. It was confined to that one night, rather than the rumour being "Angle is unimpressed with the way TNA has booked Jay Lethal recently". If Angle has any pull at all - and I'd say he has - he sure ain't using it to ensure that TNA's up-and-coming stars are protected and booked properly (Exhibit A: Joe, Samoa). Unless you count Karen Angle as an up-and-coming star, of course.



To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires, and lights, in a box.-Edward R. Murrow
Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
    Originally posted by oldschoolhero
    Unless you count Karen Angle as an up-and-coming star, of course.


Oh man, I wish I could remember where I read it, but there was a interview with Karen Angle and she claimed that she would LOVE to get in the ring and wrestle and if TNA wanted her to, she would.

God help us all.



Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
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