Tonight's over-arcing story, from whence our title comes from, is who will AJ Styles side with? His boss Kurt Angle, or his partner Tomko?
AJ, with the Angle Alliance, is not happy about tonight's Angle vs. Tomko match. He actually kinda stands up to Angle, pointing out that he's been TNA Champion three times. Angle sneers -- "that's when TNA was a startup."
The Motorcity Machine Guns and Jay Lethal imitate 3D, wearing tie-died shirts and ample padding. 3D take offense, and drag MMG & Jay down to the ring and KILL them -- kendo shots, thrown through tables, the works.
The Rock-n-Rave Infection vs. Petey Williams & Scott Steiner: Petey spends most of the match doing Steiner's moves and poses, while Scott looks on in total bewilderment. This would be a lot more interesting if Petey wasn't one of THREE (THREE!) X Division guys on the roster currently doing an imitation gimmick.
Scott finally cracks Petey on the head with one of the Feast or Fired briefcases and leaves with both of them. (See, Scott's was cool with the X Division title shot until Crystal told him that the X Division might be abolished after Against All Odds, rendering the shot useless.) Rave pins Petey with a -- well, I don't know what that is. A trip to Wikipedia suggests that it might be the "Ghanarhea" -- a "swinging leg hook fireman's carry slam." Okay!
Vignette of BG James and Bullet Bob training -- the joke is that Bullet Bob is in better shape than his kid. Heh.
Hernandez vs. Kip James: Hernandez has Homicide and Salinas with him, and Kip has Roxxi (and normal gear!). This is pretty crappy, and since Hernandez is awesome, I know who I am blaming. Roxxi accidentally throws voodoo (or possibly talcum) powder in Kip's eyes and Hernandez pins him.
After wards, Kip fires Roxxi! This is good because I like Roxxi a lot and she doesn't need the VKM albatross.
Tomko and Styles argue, but don't come to blows or anything; Tomko tells AJ to stay out of his way.
Judas Mesias vs. Corey Jobber: I didn't catch the jobber's last name -- Jamus? Jameson? No idea. He looks a little like Cuba Gooding, Jr. and is actually about as big as Mesias. Man, this is the first time I can remember in forever that there's been a real honest-to-goodness no-name one-night jobber in TNA. Anyway, Mesias wins.
!!!EDIT!!! Okay, the jobber is "Kory Chavis," aka "Rainman." Anyone familar with him?
James Mitchell cuts a promo while Mesias sucks on barbed wire. Mmmmm.
Stone Cold Shark Boy is here -- cuts a promo challenging anyone in the back. NO ONE RESPONDS. Stunner for the ref, Slick Mark Johnson, and three security guards as well. Tony Garea tosses him some clam juice.
AJ Styles bemoans his fate to Jim Cornette. Cornette responds by making Styles the special referee in the Angle vs. Tomko match -- there must be a winner! -- thus forcing Styles to take a stand one way or the other.
Crystal with Awesome Kong and her manager, Raisha Saed (spelling from Wikipedia -- nothing official yet). Raisha says that Kong is peaceful (Kong, hilariously, closes her eyes and nods serenely) but she will destroy you if you cross her.
Roxxi Laveaux vs. Angelina Love vs. ODB: Schtick-heavy, although Roxxi gets some good moves in and it looks like they might be thinking about a Roxxi/ODB feud in the future. Angelina Love sneaks away with the win, though, after "distracting" referee Rudy Charles. ODB kills Angelina after the match.
Robert Roode, Payton Banks, and James Storm vs. Sonjay Dutt, Eric Young, and Tracy Brooks: Payton and Brooks brawl off to the back -- obviously they're being saved for a one-on-on match. Match is fun enough -- Storm hits the 8-Second Ride, which I haven't seen in years. Dutt actually looks pretty good against the big guys. Storm superkicks Young into Roode's Payoff for the finish. Booker shows up after the match and chases after Roode.
Kaz is in the back in a bizarro-world Black Reign getup. He challenges Reign to a RAT ON A POLE MATCH. I don't know if I wish he was joking or not. Next Week?!? Dude, save it for the PPV!
Samoa Joe is out to SIGN HIS CONTRACT but gets into a kerfuffle with Matt Morgan, who's being all pissy. Joe ends up back suplexing Morgan through the table, and then he tears up the contract. OMG HE'S GOING TO WWE
Kurt Angle vs. Tomko: Non-title, and AJ Styles is the special referee. This match is really all about Styles -- one of the guys will attempt to pin the other after something like a powerslam and then there will be a loooong two count while AJ agonizes. (Don West, bless his heart, points out that the guy being pinned could kick out earlier, but is taking their time in order to rest up.) I should point out that Tomko had the advantage for, by far, the lion's share of the match.
Christian Cage sneaks out and whacks Angle with the title belt; Tomko and Styles are both unaware. Tomko hits a rack into a neckbreaker, and Styles has no choice but to count the pin on his boss. Karen is pissed!
Backstage, Crystal catches up with Cage, who says he's doing what's "best for Tomko." So Styles is having a falling out with the Angles, while his Cage is trying to get into Tomko's good graces through subterfuge. I admit, I am actually intrigued by this trapezoid and am curious to see which side of the fence everyone will eventually fall on.
(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 1.2.08 0322) Last 5 movies seen: Juno **** - Atonement **** - Chameleon Street *** - Sweeney Todd **1/2 - Stephen Tobolowsky's Birthday Party ***1/2
I've seen a lot of "Wrestler A imitates Wrestler B" angles over the years. But tonight was the first time the imitator (in this case, the MCMG and Jay Lethal) got absolutely destroyed within seconds of the imitation. This did nothing for the MCMG and Lethal and just made them look like complete idiots, which is par for the course these days.
So Scott Steiner doesn't watch this show either? Because that stipulation about the X Division getting discontinued has been on the table for weeks and he's only NOW learning about it?
I still have no interest in where this whole thing with Tomko is going. I'm sorry, but Vince Russo can only cry "wolf" so many times before I stop caring and just sit back and wait for the swerve. At this point for me, the real swerve would be if there isn't a swerve at all.
What I do have interest in (at least for right now) is "Stone Cold" Shark Boy. I still think it could get old fast (that last Don West comment in particular just reeks of bush league tactics), but I can't be the only one that got a kick out of him downing a can of clam juice.
(edited by It's False on 1.2.08 0329)
"Wocka Wocka...who wants to hear a funny-ass joke?"
I couldn't be more opposite, heh. This was definitely the first time that I've seen the fun-loving faces get destroyed in the middle of a parody, but I don't see that as a bad thing for MCMG and Machismo at all. We know they're going to win at Against All Odds. TNA's just not going to completely get rid of the X Division and all the wrestlers for the sake of getting the Dudley's even more over. So what this does is set them up as the incredibly formidable team that they are, so when they lose at the PPV it makes MCMG and once-again-X-Division-champ Black Machismo look that much stronger for it. Not to mention Bubba's promo after the beatdown was damn good.
Of course Scott Steiner is just now learning about the potential fate of the X Division. It's Scott Steiner. Would anything really get through his roided skull?
I really can't understand how you aren't into the Tomko stuff. It was the Christian Coalition, then Angle, and then the ensuing storylines that hooked me into TNA and away from WWE in the first place. I know apparently Russo's around, so that means "swerve", but why are you expecting one here? It's damn simple; Tomko is on his own, looking out for Tomko. AJ is the torn-between-lovers misguided face. Angle is the domineering champ. Christian is the angry former champ. Mix well and serve, heh. I mean, why wouldn't Christian have a vested interest in hurting Angle and helping Tomko win?
I'm still lukewarm on Stone Cold Shark Boy. The impression isn't as good as Lethal's Macho, and while the little aquatic stuff to mix it up is kinda funny....it's Shark Boy. Stunning refs and security. I dunno, I just don't see room for two impersonation gimmicks and frankly Black Machismo is lightyears better. Where's Stone Cold Shark Boy gonna go once they stop with these cute little vignettes? A sustained push? That leads to what? Hell, Kaz is supposedly getting that push but when there's other, more important, better things going on higher-up on the card there isn't any room.
I was highly disappointed in the mixed tag match. Not because of Roode, who I don't loathe like most people, but because Rain didn't get a chance to wrestle. Dammit. At least she's on TV.
The women's match was entertaining stuff. The wrestling was alright, everyone played into their gimmicks the whole match, and it was awesome. I don't understand the Roxxi "firing" though. That just seemed to come out of nowhere. And speaking of coming from nowhere, when that "associate" of Kong's talks that can't be Cheerleader Melissa actually speaking can it? If it is she's got one hell of a grasp of accents.
Michigan against the SEC: 20-5-1 (7-3 in bowl games)
I'm fine with any WOW revival, but do we really need to see how David McClane comes up with characters? How much planning does it take to get a cute girl and turn her into a "farmer's daughter" or the female version of James Bond?