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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 1-17-08 "A Fish Out of Water"
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
Man, I've been forgetting to include the episode title for the last few weeks! I beg forgiveness! This week's title refers to Shark Boy, who is in a coma or something after his match with Tomko last week.

The Motorcity Machismo Guns, as Alex Shelley dubs them, accept 3D's challenge -- a street fight match at Against All Odds -- if 3D wins, the X Division is disbanded. But if MMG win -- then I get confused. I thought that Alex was saying that if the MMG win, a weight limit of 275 pounds will be instituted for the X Division, which is superdumb on a couple of different levels ("if you can't beat 'em -- ban them from competin'!"). But from what Don West and Mike Tenay subsequently said, it sounds more like there will be a weight limit of 275 pounds instituted for Team 3D. Or what? I have no idea.

At Shark Boy's house, Dr. Fishman describes his condition using a torrent of REALLY AWFUL FISH PUNS. Also, Sharky's family is there -- they all wear shark masks. These are the high points, folks.

Eric Young vs. Tomko: A smirk and a squash and the ring Tomko stands in is his. It has been before, so it shall be again.

James Storm is in to kick Eric's ass; Tomko makes the save.

Dustin Rhodes is here -- he goes into Black Reign's workshop and is terrified, because he has no idea who this Black Reign fellow is.

ODB vs. Angelina Love: The crowd LOVES ODB. LOVES her. Angelina Love gets more offense than I was anticipating but ODB wins with a running powerslam.

Sharky's house -- Chris Harris is there and complains about his lack of TV time. LAX arrives and loots the place. You just can't keep Latinos from doing that sort of thing!

Senshi vs. Kaz: Fun enough. It's good that they're working on getting Kaz's "Wave of the Future" finisher over, since it's not flashy enough to make you automatically think "finisher."

Black Reign comes out afterward to beat down Kaz.

AJ visits Tomko in the locker room -- he wants his advice. I probably should've mentioned that there have been several quick segments wherein AJ agonizes over what he should do if he wins his match tonight -- he'll have a choice: a title shot against Kurt Angle, or giving Angle two months off from defending the title. Tomko tells his that AJ needs to do what AJ wants to do.

Abyss vs. Lance Hoyt: Jimmy Rave is out here as well. After Hoyt is clotheslined out to the floor, Rave runs in; Abyss tosses him out onto Hoyt, but Hoyt bobbles the catch and drops Rave onto the ramp.

Jim Mitchell interrupts -- he's going to reveal the secret! -- and he leaves again. Abyss puts Hoyt away with the Black Hole Slam.

Jim Mitchell is up on the Impactron -- he says he's Abyss FATHER. OMG! Wait, why didn't he mention that the LAST time he was revealing Abyss' secrets?

Robert Roode vs. Sonjay Dutt: Peyton Banks is out with Roode. Usual stuff. Roode wins with the Payoff (Perfectplex).

Miss Brooks is out and she and Banks scuffle.

Sharky's house. Angelina Love and Velvet Sky attempt to "revive" him.

VKM are in the ring -- Kip James is PO'd because BG James is going to introduce his NEW PARTNER. It turns out to be the 67-year-old BULLET BOB ARMSTRONG. Kip thinks this is real nice, actually. Much as I dislike Kip, I would still choose him over BG's dad. I might even choose Pacman Jones over BG's dad. I will bet you TWO DOLLARS RIGHT NOW that BG & Bullet win the belts whenever they get their shot.

Eric Young shows up at Shark Boy's house and gives him a pep talk. Sharky wakes up AND STARTS TALKING EXACTLY LIKE STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. Right down to the bottom line. WTF SHARK BOY

In Jim Cornette's office, Cornette explains to Scott Steiner that the X Division isn't about height or weight limits, it's about drive and passion. Scott thought you had to be a 4 foot, 125 pound Oompa-Loompa to compete in the X Division. With this new information, Scott agrees to take the X Division title shot.

AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage: This is ELIMINATION, and the winner gets a title shot (if it's Styles, he can choose the shot OR he can choose to give Angle two months off from title defenses). This has some nice dives and stuff but then Joe gets eliminated for holding a chair that AJ used on Cage while the ref was bumped. Pffffffffffffffft.

Second half of the match is pretty fun, though, basically a singles match between Cage and Styles. Styles misses a Spiral Tap -- Cage goes for a Frog Splash but only gets knees -- AJ goes for the Unprettier but Cage reverses it for the pin.

And so yeah. Good main event for the most part (outside of the whole ref bump leads to Joe's elimination section), but the rest of the matches were perfunctory and the other segments (Stone Cold Shark Boy! Abyss is actually "Chris Mitchell!" Bullet Bob gets a title shot!) were embarrassing and can't possibly lead to anything good.

I have GLOBAL iMPACT! on tape but don't have time to watch it tonight -- I'll get to it Friday. Anyone else watch it yet?

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Sweeney Todd **1/2 - Stephen Tobolowsky's Birthday Party ***1/2 - The Golden Compass *** - Sunshine ***1/2 - Eagle vs Shark ***
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sentonBOMB
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Since: 25.11.02
From: Jersey

Since last post: 1973 days
Last activity: 674 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.00
I love how they built up this angle all match where it's like WHAT WILL AJ DO IF HE WINS?? WILL HE HELP KURT OR TAKE THE TITLE SHOT?? and then he didn't actually win so it was pointless.

Shark Boy's Stone Cold impersonation was so spot-on that I wondered for a moment if it was actually Austin under the mask.
Super Shane Spear
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Sector 7 Slums

Since last post: 1591 days
Last activity: 1591 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.73
- Speaking of Austin, Tomko is the next Stone Cold Steve Austin. Good to see him finally turn the corner.

- I would actually pay for a TNA PPV if the whole show was Jim Cornette convincing Scotty Steiner to do things for him like jumping off buildings, mowing his lawn, giving him a dollar, etc.

- The only fun I had watching the Shark Boy segments is when I thought to myself "Fuck you fucking Shark Boy foooooortnight!" Bonus points for that reference.
hansen9j
Andouille








Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 16 hours
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
God bless any show that simultaneously has one storyline where a wrestler is finally convinced that having an X Division Title shot is a good thing, and one storyline where there is a 50/50 chance that the division will disappear within a week.



A Knight of Prosperity... cajun style.

Word Up, Thome
Dexley's Midnight Jogger
Pepperoni
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Since: 10.10.02
From: New Hampshire

Since last post: 262 days
Last activity: 177 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.00
I only watch TNA once in awhile. Is Senshi still with the company? I thought he had chosen to leave.
Peter The Hegemon
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Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 5 hours
Last activity: 5 hours
#6 Posted on
    Originally posted by Dexley's Midnight Jogger
    I only watch TNA once in awhile. Is Senshi still with the company? I thought he had chosen to leave.


Senshi has chosen to leave. Apparantly TNA feels that if he's going to leave, they should give him a bigger push so his absence will be noticed. Or something. He's been on much more regularly since he quit, but to be fair he's been jobbing. Meltz says this was his last match.

I don't think Mitchell said he was Abyss' father last time; I think he said Abyss killed his own father. So I guess now I'm supposed to believe that Abyss killed Mitchell?

The Stone Cold Shark Boy thing was mind-bogglingly stupid. Maybe if Team 3-D wins, they can replace the X Division with the Ex Division, in which all the wrestlers are doing impressions of ex-wrestlers. After the title match between Black Machismo and Sharky Coldness, we can all smell what the Dutt is cooking.

The Global Impact show was worth watching--well, the second half of it was. The first half was basically just press conference excerpts and wrestlers talking about what it's like to wrestler in Japan. Jump to about 35 minutes in, and enjoy the Angle/Nagata match, presented in full (except for the usual commercial interruptions). It was a treat to see a solid, mat-based match from Japan on US tv.
thecubsfan
Scrapple
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 6 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 10.00
Actually, I felt the exact opposite. I enjoyed the first half hour of Global Impact, because it had better promos and a better feel than the normal TNA show. It felt like an important event was happening, and they did a great job of building Nagata vs Angle, wisely simplifying the title situation instead of spinning minutes trying to explain IGF/Inoki/Brock.

And then I turned the show off during the entrances, when I realized the usual TNA announcers were going to call the main event. I couldn't take them doing radio commentary for a TV show on the little bit of (unglobal) Impact before the show and don't watch the show enough to be used to tuning them out. I figured I could track down the match on internet if I really wanted to see it.

I had heard before hand that the only match they were going to show was Nagata/Angle, but if you didn't, I could see why you'd be annoyed. But if everything in TNA was more like this show, I'd be watching more TNA.

The story the sheets are working with re: Senshi is he got out of contract but is still working a per show deal. I guess this allows him to work TNA when he's free (and wants to), but probably get no push along the way. And maybe that's why he's on TV now - they're scared to beat anyone under contract, but Senshi they can job to anyone. (Which is actually really bizarre when you think about Senshi's willingness to lose in the past.) He's on the next NJPW tour, so he may disappear at some point soon.



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2P4E
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Since: 4.1.05
From: SE12, London, UK.

Since last post: 443 days
Last activity: 19 hours
#8 Posted on
I haven't seen the show yet, but Sharkboy did the Austin thing a while ago on TNA Today too: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=N5a5ASFDJyg

(edited by 2P4E on 18.1.08 1921)


How do you learn to fall off a twenty foot ladder?
Quezzy
Knackwurst








Since: 6.1.02
From: The Moon

Since last post: 1 day
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.36
Please, the X-Division isn't going anywhere. Clearly the Motor City Machismo Guns are winning the feud. Whether people want to admit it or not, this feud has been great for the X-Division. The MCMG are going to beat Team 3D/Devine and I wouldn't be surprised if Machismo beats Steiner. If he doesn't then Steiner is X Division champ and it puts the whole weight limit thing to rest. Either way they're going in a good direction with the X Division.

A lot more squashed this week. Tomko squash was fun but Abyss and Kaz squashes aren't nearly as fun as LAX and MCMG squashes.

Also it was supposedly Senshi's request to job on his way out, not some complicated reason to make Senshi look missed.

As for Abyss it's not really that hard to understand. Since they just revealed Mitchell is his father, obviously the father they were talking about earlier was the father that raised him, which isn't Mitchell.

I don't get it. Why is Sharkboy doing Stone Cold AWFUL but Jay Lethal doing Randy Savage is AWESOME? Make up your mind if it's okay to parody other wrestlers or not.

I'm not completely sure AJ's dilemna is over. I think there might be some kind of rematch where AJ still gets Angle some time off because A) Christian/AJ at the PPV makes more sense and B) Rumor is Joe will win the title at Lockdown and two months free of a title shot takes Angle right up to Lockdown as his next defense.



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
hansen9j
Andouille








Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 16 hours
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
    Originally posted by Quezzy
    Please, the X-Division isn't going anywhere.


This is one of those stipulation matches where normally it would be intriguing, because you're not really sure which stip they'll go for, but both stipulations are so radical that neither one passes the smell test. So it's likely that either 3D wins, and the stip gets overturned shortly after (free match on Impact? Cornette says 3D cheated?), or the MCMGs win, and all it is is a set up for a whacky angle involving 3D in saunas or wearing T-Shirts that show them with musclebound bodies. There is no chance that either stipulation will be upheld, and thus the match comes off as meaningless.



A Knight of Prosperity... cajun style.

Word Up, Thome
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 36 days
Last activity: 1 day
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.76
    Originally posted by Super Shane Spear
    - Speaking of Austin, Tomko is the next Stone Cold Steve Austin. Good to see him finally turn the corner.



    Really, the next Austin? I do think he has come a long way over the years, and dig his act, but that calling him the next Austin might be a bit much. The next Batista, maybe.




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Deacon Jim
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Since: 11.12.03
From: Dallas, TX

Since last post: 713 days
Last activity: 17 hours
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Y!:
#12 Posted on
    Originally posted by Peter The Hegemon
    I don't think Mitchell said he was Abyss' father last time; I think he said Abyss killed his own father. So I guess now I'm supposed to believe that Abyss killed Mitchell?.


    Originally posted by Quezzy
    As for Abyss it's not really that hard to understand. Since they just revealed Mitchell is his father, obviously the father they were talking about earlier was the father that raised him, which isn't Mitchell.


I think that originally Abyss went to prison for taking the wrap for his mother SHOOTING his Father, not necessarily KILLING his father.



formerly known as Von Erich
Karlos the Jackal
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by Deacon Jim
    I think that originally Abyss went to prison for taking the wrap for his mother SHOOTING his Father, not necessarily KILLING his father.
Yes. Last time we learned that Abyss shot his father three times in the back. This time, we learned that it was Jim Mitchell that he shot three times in the back, and that Jim Mitchell is Abyss' father. So that all makes sense. The part that I find confusing is, why didn't Jim Mitchell mention that he was the father when he revealed the first secret?

And after sleeping on it, I think the answer is that Mitchell prefers to dole out the secrets one at a time so that he always has something to hold over Abyss' head. That's my "no-prize" explanation, at least.

    Originally posted by sentonBOMB
    I love how they built up this angle all match where it's like WHAT WILL AJ DO IF HE WINS?? WILL HE HELP KURT OR TAKE THE TITLE SHOT?? and then he didn't actually win so it was pointless.
The point was to make you assume that AJ would winning, I guess, so that it's like a SHOCKING SWERVE when he loses.

    Originally posted by Quezzy
    Clearly the Motor City Machismo Guns are winning the feud. Whether people want to admit it or not, this feud has been great for the X-Division. The MCMG are going to beat Team 3D/Devine and I wouldn't be surprised if Machismo beats Steiner. If he doesn't then Steiner is X Division champ and it puts the whole weight limit thing to rest. Either way they're going in a good direction with the X Division.
I mostly agree with this, a few niggling details aside. I'm really glad that Steiner took his shot, for instance, but I wish that he had been excited about it from the get-go, rather than trying to dump it like hot coals. The angle could be really great for the X Division -- regardless of who wins (but to be honest I hope it's Steiner).

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Sweeney Todd **1/2 - Stephen Tobolowsky's Birthday Party ***1/2 - The Golden Compass *** - Sunshine ***1/2 - Eagle vs Shark ***
Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 5 hours
Last activity: 5 hours
#14 Posted on
    Originally posted by Quezzy


    Also it was supposedly Senshi's request to job on his way out, not some complicated reason to make Senshi look missed.

    As for Abyss it's not really that hard to understand. Since they just revealed Mitchell is his father, obviously the father they were talking about earlier was the father that raised him, which isn't Mitchell.




I think you're taking me a little too literally on both counts here. I know they aren't *trying* to make us notice Senshi's absence, but just the fact that it seems like they are strikes me as funny. With the Mitchell thing, it's just that no one at TNA seems to have bothered to think about the connection between the two storylines.


    I don't get it. Why is Sharkboy doing Stone Cold AWFUL but Jay Lethal doing Randy Savage is AWESOME? Make up your mind if it's okay to parody other wrestlers or not.




I'm not sure I'd say that Lethal doing Savage is "awesome" (it's funny, but I'm not sure I would have gone with it as a full-scale gimmick rather than a short-term bit), but the main problem here is that they're so similar. It's much like the situation with Jackie and ODB both doing the drinking-on-the-job bit; having two people working similar gimmicks on the same show, especially in the same division, gets tiresome.

Then again, if the Shark Boy thing hadn't come in the middle of an already stupid bit, it might have come off better to me.
hansen9j
Andouille








Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 16 hours
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
      Originally posted by Deacon Jim
      I think that originally Abyss went to prison for taking the wrap for his mother SHOOTING his Father, not necessarily KILLING his father.
    Yes. Last time we learned that Abyss shot his father three times in the back. This time, we learned that it was Jim Mitchell that he shot three times in the back, and that Jim Mitchell is Abyss' father. So that all makes sense. The part that I find confusing is, why didn't Jim Mitchell mention that he was the father when he revealed the first secret?


The real question is, what does Kid Kash think of all this (since it was him that brought Abyss in first, not Father Mitchell). If he's not available, how about Goldilocks?

I also rescind my prior comments about the stip, as I had heard that the MCMGs stip was that if they are over 275 they can't wrestle at all, as opposed to not in the X Division. Although as said by others, that makes the Scott Steiner storyline all the dumber, as now there is no way of him cashing in his title shot (since I'm assuming Lethal won't be defending it while it's not in his possession).

(edited by hansen9j on 18.1.08 2310)


A Knight of Prosperity... cajun style.

Word Up, Thome
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.41
And this show, amazingly, gives TNA a new ratings high!


    Last night's Impact did a 1.2 rating and 1.62 million viewers. The viewership level was the highest in the history of the show. We don't have a rating for Global Impact other than it did 949,000 viewers.


The bad news, someone will interpret these numbers to mean that the creative team is doing something right and we'll inevitably get more crap shoved down our throats.

The good news? This OBVIOUSLY must mean that ODB equals RATINGS!




"Wocka Wocka...who wants to hear a funny-ass joke?"
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 8 hours
Last activity: 28 min.
#17 Posted on
Oh Lord, I love Brother Ray. He has carried this X Division feud like a champ. It's a shame the main event is to loaded with Cage/Angle because you can see TNA building its own group as the second-level stars (Roode/Joe). And despite Bubba Ray's position as yet another WWE castoff, I'd love to see him work in TNA's title orbit. I enjoyed his singles run on RAW way back when. I've got tickets to the February PPV (in Greenville *cheap pop*), and I am going mainly to see Ray work a hardcore fight against the MCMG. The Lovely Mrs. Tracker is going for Angle.

Forgive me, but I enjoyed the Shark Boy skits, and his Stone Cold Shark Austin bit cracked me up. I'm glad to see his steady diet of squash is leading somewhere.

Now that Abyss's big secret is out (as are his two "real" names), why do we care about him or Judas? Messias is just Mitchell's proxy in the ring in this never-ending angle. Abyss gains what by beating Mitchell? Only a "loser leaves TNA" bout would make all this worthwhile, and only if Abyss or Mitchell hit the road.

Tomko's work in the Global Impact special made me like him more than anything TNA has done with him. Giving us a character (instead of his shrugging gimmick) does wonders to get him over. This might be the best way, also, to make Eric Young more than a mugging idiot. To be fair, his short offense impressed me this week.

I don't see how Kaz vs. Black Reign does anything to help either guy now that Kaz is back to the low midcard. They're treading water.

The main event was disappointing because, once again, the main-event people are being written as idiots. Joe has been around way too long to get caught holding a chair. Even WWE midcard heels know you slide it out to ringside ASAP.




"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
hansen9j
Andouille








Since: 7.11.02
From: Riderville, SK

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 16 hours
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
    Originally posted by Matt Tracker
    I enjoyed his singles run on RAW way back when.


Agreed. I loved the angle where he kept confronting HHH backstage, and got the visual pin over him in a title match (which even had me marking out when the ref woke up and starting counting the pin). Yes, I actually believed that Bubba Ray Dudley was about to become World Champ (on free TV, no less).



A Knight of Prosperity... cajun style.

Word Up, Thome
ironcladlou
Potato korv








Since: 2.1.02
From: Quincy, MA

Since last post: 2264 days
Last activity: 2116 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.22
    Originally posted by hansen9j
    Yes, I actually believed that Bubba Ray Dudley was about to become World Champ (on free TV, no less).


I thought the same thing during that HHH/Taka Michinoku match. Just sells me more on how awesome HHH used to be.



"I could drown the pain, and drink upon commuter trains, and here you stand in eastern standard time"
- Mike Doughty
Torchslasher
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Since: 17.1.02
From: New F'n Jersey

Since last post: 4 days
Last activity: 3 days
#20 Posted on
Most of the Shark Boy skits didn't work at all. The final skit however, with him channeling Stone Cold, made me giggle heartily. I loved it.

I dig Tomko, but his raspy and understated voice will possibly hold him back. If Tomko sounded like Shark Boy, that would be $.



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I think it would be helpful to Jericho. It would be an chance for Jericho to be a serious heel compared to the whiny, complaining heel he is in most interviews. It would be similiar to the promo before Wrestlemania he had with HBK.
Related threads: iMPACT! 01-10-08 - The Wrath of Kong - iMPACT! 1/3/08 - Land of 1000 Gauntlets - iMPACT! 12-27-07 "AJ's Dilemma" - More...
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