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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 1-14-10 "The Band"
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 77 days
Last activity: 10 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
The theme for this week's show -- and, I suspect, many, many more to come -- was "short matches with young, exciting guys in the ring; endless talkfests with decrepit old fools outside the ring." So here we go.

Generation Me vs. The Motor City Machine Guns: Generation Me, making their Impact debut, is also known as the Young Bucks. I've only seen a couple of their matches (from the Dragon Gate PPVs). They're brothers, although I don't think Tenay or Taz mentioned that tonight. The dark-haired one is Max and the light-haired one is Jeremy, and they're wearing matching black jeans, purple belts, and purple bandannas in their back pockets. Here's a pic.

I note with some disdain that Tenay goes out of his way to emphasize that the MCMG are the best tag team in the X Division -- wow, not much competition, there. (This after last week's comment from Tenay that the X Division is "pretty much just like the Cruiserweights.")

Anyway, the match is fun if you like the mile-a-minute flippy-flippy stuff (I do). Generation Me hits some nice double-team moves, and wins with what used to be called "More Bang for Your Buck" -- Max with a Finlay Roll, followed by Jeremy with a 450° splash, followed by Max with a moonsault and pin. IT'S AN UPSET, we're told.

The Nasty Boys are still in Team 3D's locker room, and it's trashed. Jerry Sags lets us know that he made a stinky poo. Thanks, Jer. Team 3D are outside the locked door, hammering on it and demanding to be let in, but the Nasty Boys only mock them.

Kurt Angle is in the ring. He says, hey, yeah, AJ Styles beat him because Styles was the better man -- that night. There's always next time -- which will be this Sunday, at the Genesis PPV! Styles is out now, too, and lets Kurt know that this is the last time that Kurt gets a shot against him for the rest of the year.

Kurt leaves and Styles is once again jumped from behind by the masked man -- who finally unmasks and it's Tomko, as we all suspected.

Christy Hemme is backstage with Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman. Bubba the Love Sponge slopes into the room and kicks Hemme out, then demands to know where Mick Foley is. They don't seem to want to answer.

The Beautiful People vs. Awesome Kong and Hamada: Kong and Hamada (Awesomada?) are wearing complementary black-and-red outfits, which I appreciate. Angelina Love is sitting in the front row -- she and Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne hug while Lacey von Erich looks on with -- well, vague disapproval, I think.

Hamada spars with both Sky and Rayne but when she tags Kong in, it's all over -- Kong IMMEDIATELY kills Rayne with the Awesomebomb for the three.

The other BPs tend to the unconscious Rayne -- Love comes into the ring to help out -- wait, no, she slams von Erich to the mat and starts clobbering Sky. "Replace ME? I don't THINK so!" I don't know if Love will make a very good face, but it looks like we'll find out.

AJ Styles bursts into Eric Bischoff's office -- he wants Tomko in a match, tonight! Bisch says he'll make it so if Styles puts his title on the line -- Styles is all over that idea.

Still in Bischoff's office, Jeremy Borash wants to know where Foley is. Eric doesn't know, but points out that anything that happened to Foley is JB's fault, since JB let Mick into the building in the first place. Furthermore, if JB ever does anything like that again, he's fired.

Now Beer Money is in Bischoff's office. They want a match with Hall and Nash. Bischoff says he'll get back to them.

Lethal Consequences vs. Team 3D: Well, almost -- Jay Lethal and Consequences Creed get jumped by Bobby Lashley before the match. Lashley takes out Lethal outside the ring, then gives Creed a Dominator on the inside. Bobby Lashley doesn't care about black people.

Kristal cuts a heel promo explaining that "no one" on the TNA roster is safe from her husband until he is granted his release. I would like this angle more if I didn't suspect that it was going to become a Scott Steiner- or Sid Vicious-style "squash the Cruiserweight X Division star" every single week.

Oh, but there's still a match! Team 3D comes down (Brother Ray has an axe), gives Creed the 3D, and pins him. Then Ray cuts a promo on the Nasty Boys. He says they're so fat, he can't believe that Hulk Hogan is able to walk with the Nasty Boys on his coattails. Ha ha ha! Normally, I'd say, "you're one to talk, Ray," but Knobbs in all honesty is really fat.

Team 3D heads backstage to take down the locker room door with the axe. Ray pulls back -- "wait" -- he pulls off their nameplate and hands it to Devon. Crash! Through the door -- but they are ambuscaded by the Nasties, who beat them down and leave them laying. "Welcome to NAAAASTYVILLE!"

Sean Morley comes to the ring. His entrance video is the same old single-entendre stuff, and his theme song is cheesy porn-style stuff -- but he has a BRAND NEW catchphrase! "Laaadies, I'm here!" So THAT'S fresh and exciting. He says he's moved behind the lens, and he directs movies now -- and he's going to make them for TNA. Daniels interrupts -- he wants to pitch a screenplay about a young hero who meets a fast-talking sleazeball -- and the best part is when the sleazeball ends up in the gutter! STO! BME! Daniels kicks Morley while he's down and explains that Morley "offends" him, and he doesn't want any of his "art" in TNA. Morley -- a face, I guess, inexplicably -- fights back and tosses Daniels out of the ring.

Hernandez and Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money: Not much here -- a few signature spots, including Hernandez's dive over the top -- and then Rob Terry interferes to try and wear down Hernandez and Morgan before their title shot at Genesis (this Sunday!). Terry continues to be pretty incompetent at that sort of thing and Morgan and Hernandez drive him into the back. That's a DQ.

Waltman and Nash and Hall -- who are being referred to now as "The Band" -- come down to attack Beer Money. Security breaks it up. Eric Bischoff comes out and makes a Beer Money vs. Hall & Nash match for Genesis. That will be awesome! I'm about as excited as Scott Hall is!

Desmond Wolfe vs. Samoa Joe: D'Angelo Dinero is at the broadcast table -- he's got a match with Wolfe at Genesis. Some nice back-and-forth here, albeit somewhat perfunctory. Wolfe gets Joe up on the turnbuckles but Joe slaps on a chokehold -- so Desmond walks out until Joe's parallel to the mat -- Tower of London! That's it.

It's really, really weird seeing Joe fed to Wolfe to build Wolfe up for his match with Dinero. Wolfe plays it like, "if I can beat Joe, I can destroy Dinero," but it really feels like it says something about Joe and Dinero's relative worth. There's no shame in losing to Wolfe, but there was no build-up to this PPV-worthy match-up or anything -- and Joe doesn't even have a match at Genesis. Hmmm.

Jeff Jarrett is in Bischoff's office -- Hogan is sitting at the desk now -- I guess they share an office. Jarrett claims that he carried this company on his back for 7 years, and that the young guys are NOTHING and always will be. Bischoff claims that TNA would have gone out of business in three weeks if it weren't for the deep pockets of Dixie Carter. It's, uh, fascinating listening to these two argue about exactly how worthless TNA is. JJ threatens legal action and Hogan tells him, if he wants to be a part of TNA, he has to lace up his boots and wrestle.

Tomko vs. AJ Styles: Ric Flair is out to observe and provide commentary. Kurt Angle is out, too. Not much of a match here -- I really think Tomko's a much better tag guy than a singles guy. Styles wins with the Pelé.

Tomko wants to give Styles a post-match beatdown, but Angle chases him off -- he wants to beat Styles with no excuses on Sunday! Angle offers his hand to Styles but Styles glares at him and stomps off. Flair, for some reason, seems pleased by this.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 15.1.10 0244)

Last 5 movies seen: Moon ****1/2 - Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs ****1/2 - 9 *** - Fantastic Mr. Fox ****1/2 - District 9 ****
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lotjx
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Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 1 day
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.47
The battle for AJ's soul between Flair and Sting begins. Impact did feel like Nitro and I hate saying that. You had a hot opening with the MCMG/Generation Me then it fell apart with Eric talking in the back for almost an hour. Tomko being the masked attacker was one of the worst kept secrets in wrestling next to the Save Me countdown. The show was a mess of few highs, Bubba's promo, Angelina returning and Velvet's ass with a ton of lows, The Band/Bischoff, barely any wrestling, Sean Morely taking all of Daniels' finishers and still fighting back, Nasty Boys beating up Team 3D, retreading Sting/NWO, the burial of Lethal Consequences and Desmond/Joe wasted on TV. I am hoping after Genesis, we actually start to see some cutting of the fat mainly all the Hogan people. I just hope this is not a sign of things to come.

(edited by lotjx on 15.1.10 0730)
GameCrazy
Chipolata








Since: 13.1.10
From: Wyomissing, PA

Since last post: 1294 days
Last activity: 67 days
#3 Posted on
I'm going to see my first TNA house show tonight, it's the first time they've been in the area, and I *was* really pumped... until the last two weeks of programming have fizzled that out. The televised shows really do feel a lot like Nitro, and I'm just hoping that a lot of Hogan's guys don't make the trip up here tonight. I've seen the Nasty Boys live... in the early nineties. It wasn't a treat then, and something tells me their brand of wrestling won't age well. At this point, the only people I care about seeing are Styles, Dinero, Wolfe, and Kong. I hear TNA house shows cater a lot more to pure wrestling than their TV product though, so hopefully that holds true. Anyone seen a live show lately? Please, reassure me that I didn't just waste my money AND my Friday night...
i before e
Chorizo








Since: 17.10.03

Since last post: 1215 days
Last activity: 38 min.
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.61
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal


    It's, uh, fascinating listening to these two argue about exactly how worthless TNA is.

    (edited by Karlos the Jackal on 15.1.10 0244)


Oh that made me laugh so hard! :-)
spf
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 1 day
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.16
I decided to give the show a shot after forgetting it was on for the first half.

The first thing I see when I turn on Impact is Sean Morley, who hasn't been relevant in wrestling since about 1998, doing the same shtick he's been doing for over a decade.

That was my cue to change the channel.



2007 and 2008 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
StaggerLee
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Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 16 hours
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Y!:
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.91
I've got this on Tivo, but doubt I will watch it. Seems to be THUNDER level bad, from the reviews.



http://theglobalorphanproject.org/?p=1538





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Matt Tracker
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Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.71
I'm a casual TNA fan these days, but the potential for Jeremy Borash to be a manager should be considered. He's their best talker.

Also, I'm an idiot. I didn't think of Tomko as the assailant.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Leroy
Andouille








Since: 7.2.02
From: Huntington, NY

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.58
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    That will be awesome! I'm about as excited as Scott Hall is!


He was just distracted while reminiscing about his employment before Jan 4th.







Who likes the little little duckies in the pond? I do, I do, I do, a chicka-quack quack.
Packman V2
Bratwurst








Since: 16.3.04
From: Albuquerque, NM

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 1 day
AIM:  
Y!:
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.48
I thought I'd give the "new" impact a shot, but I just can't, my respect for Angle, Styles, Joe, McGuiness, etc aside, I just can't do it.

Whether it be Sean Morley rehashing the same tired gimmick, the Nasty Boys (seriously, I thought Sags was dead, and I remember Knobbs on Hogan Knows Best hobbling around with a cane). And am I the only one who's waiting for Scott Hall to skip another match because he hit the bottle again?

I don't know much about the team that beat the MCMG, but the first thought i had was this looks like a generic version of the 90's Hardy Boys.

As "bad" as the WWE might be right now, it'll never be Impact bad.






Matt Tracker
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Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 5 days
Last activity: 3 hours
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.71
Speaking of Scott Hall, considering what happened the last time he was scheduled to appear on a PPV (the absence and Joe rant), what kind of guarantee did he have to provide to be advertised for Genesis?

Oh, wait. Is he "no-showing" the PPV to make a new subplot?



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 9 days
Last activity: 1 day
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.35
So...anybody seen Jeff Hardy?

I wanted this show to be better. I really did. And there were bright points. I thought Angelina Love's return was handled very well and casting Tomko as the masked man was a good move, since he did have a history with Styles. I really like Generation ME and even though I'm irked by the MCMG jobbing yet again, it was a fantastic match and a great debut.

But the rest of it...ye gods...

Scott Hall looked either drunk, disinterested, or both. Bringing him in is such a bad idea.

Sean Morley as the libidinous porn guy is played. Hell, it was played in 1999. This is 2010. Having Daniels give him his best moves and still get taken out was just sad.

Team 3D...The Nasty Boys...please shoot me.

What the hell was the point of having Jarrett do a total 180? He talked about the homegrown TNA talent and the young stars last Monday, but now he's talking about how worthless they are? Jarrett went from a semi-compelling homegrown TNA legend to a generic, one-dimensional heel.

I think I had the wrong guy in line to get buried. Who the hell did Joe piss off? Jobs clean in a 3-minute special and is never spoken of again. I don't think his stock ever dropped as much as it did tonight. He was treated with such...apathy.

When did Wolfe start feuding with the Pope? I must have missed that. Oh well. If it means they've aborted the Orlando Jordan return, I'll go with it.

If Steve Austin debuts as the TNA impact player on Sunday, I'll eat my keyboard. No way does he involve himself in this trainwreck. The ideal choice is Goldberg. The likely choice is Kennedy.




MacGruber! Making life-saving inventions out of household materials! MacGruber! Getting in and out of ultra-sticky situations! MacGruber! The guy's a freakin' genius! MACGRUBER!

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BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 3 hours
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.39
The funny thing about Sean Morley is he was probably best when he was just plain Sean Morley hanging with Regal, but the WWE couldn't let go of him being Val Venus. Too bad TNA felt the same way, because I really think that Sean Morley is one of the biggest misused talents of the era.

Scotch Bingington
Pinkelwurst








Since: 16.1.10

Since last post: 1534 days
Last activity: 1534 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.32
ok I gotta say this, for real. You guys are a bunch of clowns. Dissin this shit left and right blah blah blah. Bottom line, im gonna give it to you. I was fucking hardcore 96-02 fucking pwtorch subscriber 97-00 and 1wrestling subscriber, boards, blogs, scoops, name it, I was into it. Fucking loved wrestling more than anything. Ordered every ppv wwf wcw, loved it all, lost girlfriends over the shit, didn't care, moved on, wrestling was the shit.

Then the wcw buyout, and the couple year transition period where guys got shots and got weeded out, etc you all know the fucking deal. I have not watched raw in 6 years, couple minutes here, couple there, stil check this board and the torch sometimes for updates, and I still hold wrestling close to my heart. I was a fucking hardcore fan. Im in canada and before nitro was on tsn I used to order it at 15 bucks a pop per ep, and ecw too from rf.

Okay enough fucking bullshit, this is what I am getting to - I watched the 3 hour special cuz I heard hogan was on and some suprises were going to happen. I loved the tna guys I have never seen, some great wrestlers in this company, and I loved, fucking just loved, the old boys running shit and all the stuff going on, including fucking Val Venis and the Nastys. This week I pvr'd and watched the whole fuckin' show, first time in many years, and I loved it. I am going to continue to watch, and I love what they are doing, it feels like the shows are being made for me. Maybe im right, you all seem to hate it. I love this shit, makes me feel like im 20 again.

Anyhoo, don't judge so harsh, they are looking for new fans (or returning fans) not the hardcores who have stuck with this piece of shit product the WWE has put out for the last 7+ years. I am back ... And Im also on team Conan and I fucking loved how Jimmy ripped Leno last night. Quote this shit. pz
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 18 hours
Last activity: 10 hours
AIM:  
ICQ:  
Y!:
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.98
    Originally posted by Scotch Bingington
    ok I gotta say this, for real. You guys are a bunch of clowns. Dissin this shit left and right blah blah blah. Bottom line, im gonna give it to you. I was fucking hardcore 96-02 fucking pwtorch subscriber 97-00 and 1wrestling subscriber, boards, blogs, scoops, name it, I was into it. Fucking loved wrestling more than anything. Ordered every ppv wwf wcw, loved it all, lost girlfriends over the shit, didn't care, moved on, wrestling was the shit.

    Then the wcw buyout, and the couple year transition period where guys got shots and got weeded out, etc you all know the fucking deal. I have not watched raw in 6 years, couple minutes here, couple there, stil check this board and the torch sometimes for updates, and I still hold wrestling close to my heart. I was a fucking hardcore fan. Im in canada and before nitro was on tsn I used to order it at 15 bucks a pop per ep, and ecw too from rf.

    Okay enough fucking bullshit, this is what I am getting to - I watched the 3 hour special cuz I heard hogan was on and some suprises were going to happen. I loved the tna guys I have never seen, some great wrestlers in this company, and I loved, fucking just loved, the old boys running shit and all the stuff going on, including fucking Val Venis and the Nastys. This week I pvr'd and watched the whole fuckin' show, first time in many years, and I loved it. I am going to continue to watch, and I love what they are doing, it feels like the shows are being made for me. Maybe im right, you all seem to hate it. I love this shit, makes me feel like im 20 again.

    Anyhoo, don't judge so harsh, they are looking for new fans (or returning fans) not the hardcores who have stuck with this piece of shit product the WWE has put out for the last 7+ years. I am back ... And Im also on team Conan and I fucking loved how Jimmy ripped Leno last night. Quote this shit. pz
Do all Canadians swear as much as you?




Nah I'm just fuckin' with ya. Welcome!

[I hope even you can admit that "you guys are a bunch of clowns" has to be, like, somewhere in the bottom 5% of first impressions. I do think the rest of your post makes up for it, though.]

(edited by CRZ on 16.1.10 0127)


Rush4Life
Summer sausage








Since: 2.1.02
From: Tacoma, WA

Since last post: 13 days
Last activity: 15 hours
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.60
Ok wait....you were hardcore into wrestling from 1996-2002? So what you are really saying is that you were a fan once the whole Monday Night War got started.

By the way, dude, this is a message board, everyone is entitled to their opinion on here. If you are into the TNA product, cool and more power to you but you shouldn't actually blast in here (on your first post no less) and call a bunch of posters clowns for voicing their opinion. Anyways...onto the show

Holy shit! Hall looks horrible! Is he like storing nuts and berries in his cheeks like a friggin' chipmunk? I shudder to think what kind of physical shape he is in.

Like so many others have said, this really felt like a really crappy episode of Nitro or Thunder. I do not like the idea of all the older guys coming in. Hall/Nash v Beer Money at the PPV? You have to be kidding! Nasties/Dudleys? That match would have been better to see in 96 or 97 but not friggin' 2010.

Sean Morley? The wrestling porno star is back, doing the same old crap that he has been doing since 1998. Boy, that is cutting edge shit!

The Jarrett/Hogan segment really came off disjointed or something. It just never clicked to me...

Onto the fun stuff...I did like the opening match as I do like the MCMG but am bummed out with this burial of theirs. I was surprised with Wolfe's win over Joe. I suspect Joe will cash in his case at the PPV.



Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Scotch Bingington
Pinkelwurst








Since: 16.1.10

Since last post: 1534 days
Last activity: 1534 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.32
okay, I admit I was leary about the opening line calling everyone clowns. I went with it. Made my points after, apprecaite any feedback. And will be open to answering any questions or comments on my first post. Don't trip here folks, i am just trying to spit true facts about my stance on wrestling in the past 15, and I did like it as a kid too, remember going to wm2 and 3 at the pacific coliseum Vancouver (closed circuit) when I was like 8,9 and Stampede hit Van city a few times too, then not too much wrestling for a bit, then hardcore again 96 as i said. Watched wm 12 with a buddy for the iron man match, got back in, liked the direction, stuck with it a bit, heard about nitro (big hogan fan) got some tapes, then the attitude era hit, etc, thats just the facts for me, we all different. I then fell off bigtime, got married, had kids, ... this has sparked my interest, you know, lots skipped there, but I don't want to bore you, you get the picture

(edited by Scotch Bingington on 16.1.10 0303)
Scotch Bingington
Pinkelwurst








Since: 16.1.10

Since last post: 1534 days
Last activity: 1534 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.32
oh and just a ps incase anyone gives a fuck (didn't swear last post but w/e) I have fucking watched all the big matches from Wrestlemania etc over the last 7, maybe not every fucking one, but really big ones, like UT vs HBK I got that (unreal), so im not fucking totally out of touch, just fuck off if you try and show me Randy fucking Orton vs Batista or some shit
Scotch Bingington
Pinkelwurst








Since: 16.1.10

Since last post: 1534 days
Last activity: 1534 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.32
ok and fine, last reply ... I for one, and probably the only one from what I read, is fuckin happy to just see Scott Hall back on tv, fuck. He is personally my fuckin favorite wrestler, and this drunken disaster has had a tough road back to tv. He is not in the best state, he is fat and looks like shit, but hello??? he is Razor fucking ramone, he gave 2 classic fucking ladder matches, and he also (when sober) was a big part in revolutionizing wrestling ... he has issues, but, HEY YO, who fucking doesn't .. Help Haiti you sons of bitches

(edited by Scotch Bingington on 16.1.10 1004)
The Goon
Boudin blanc
Moderator








Since: 2.1.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 1 day
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.04
These posts are more fun if you read them in Bill Simmons' voice.


    Originally posted by CRZ
    Do all Canadians swear as much as you?


Oh my goodness gracious, no.

Leroy
Andouille








Since: 7.2.02
From: Huntington, NY

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 hours
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.58
    Originally posted by The Goon
    These posts are more fun if you read them in Bill Simmons' voice.


Additionally helpful, pretend his posts start with "Yo, VIP, let's kick it" and end with "Word to your mother."



Who likes the little little duckies in the pond? I do, I do, I do, a chicka-quack quack.
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I think he's doing that job in addition to his WWE work (I know I've seen him on MSG too).
Related threads: Monday Nitr...er...Monday Night iMPACT! 01/04/10 - iMPACT! 12-31-09 "New Year's Knockout Eve" - iMPACT! 12-17-09 "Judgment Day for Double J" - More...
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