I would also vote for the Million Dollar Man. Didn't Ted Dibiase draw #1 one year and hang in for a loooong time? He's an awesome rumbler.
Now, about the evil Ted laugh...imagine hearing it in church. Ted Dibiase himself came to my area two years ago and told a local church about his conversion to Christianity. Well, we're all sitting there in the pews and the lights go out. Then, the laugh hits, and on the video screen up front we are treated to highlights of Ted wrestling about everyone in the history of the sport. Then, no joke, he walks down the aisle from the back of the church to the podium surrounded by bodyguards and wearing the million dollar belt, his ring robe with the huge dollar sign, and sunglasses. "Money, money, money" is playing. I marked out in the middle of church. He came to the podium, "bought" all of the associate pastors, the youth pastor and the song leader, then tried to pay off the preacher. The preacher used it as a Bible illustration, telling Ted, "You can't buy me...I'm already bought by Christ." Then Ted preached to us for an hour. It was the greatest church service of all time.
Wait, wait, wait. Let me explain. I'd have Hogan come in, do his schtick with the shirt ripping and the posing. The whole rumble would come to a halt and each wrestler would just be staring at him. Then after he's done he can try his Hulk up crap and then EVERYONE would beat the piss out of him and do their finisher on him. A Big Show chokeslam, a pedigree, a stunner, a 5 star frog splash, a tombstone, a stinkface! Dam let Crash even do his bulldog on him and Funaki could kick him in the face. After all of that, then have Kidman back just so he CAN FINALLY get his and toss Hogan out. Then the rumble could continue as planned. I'd order the PPV twice just for that.
They gotta bring these back!!!: "talk to the hand because the man don't understand." - "The Crippler" Chris Benoit "...and that is the LAST WORD." - "The Big Nasty" Paul Wight and of course: "Don't hate the playa...HATE THE GAME~!" - WCW World Champion Booker T
You gotta admit, the original Varsity Club kicked some ass. Kevin Sullivan as the evil Taskmaster, Dr. Death, etc. Some of the coolest parts of pro-wrestling throughout the years have been the smaller "wrestling alliances" that wrestle certain people at certain times, and have the other guys on the side ready to beat him up when he gets thrown from the ring. Naturally, the 4 Horsemen were the best, but the Varsity Club was a close second.
That Bart Gunn idea wasn't too bad. Of course, they passed up throwing out Brooklyn Brawler while in the middle of NYC, for some particular reason. That'd be funny too...
---=---:---=--- [Look up a line] Wow, that belt looks like crap... I'll take it and carry it around for years and see if people can take it away from me... What? What was that? You mean even THIS belt doesn't matter! What? I'm insulted! Get away from me you... you... defiler!
... I'd bring back Randy Savage, book him as one of the last two participants left in the Rumble (Rikishi would be the other one left) -- and have Savage mount some offense, knock Rikishi down, and then inexplicably try to pin Rikishi ... and have Rikishi kick out of the pin so fiercely that Savage ends up out of the ring and eliminated, just as Yokozuna did to him years ago.
It would serve notice that, although the "Macho Man"'s athletic ability is nowhere near where it once was, his character's brain matter has managed to stay as consistent as ever. At least those of us who are nostalgic Savage marks would be able to count on some things NEVER changing.
My number two choice: The "original Rock", Don Muraco -- only to force Duane Johnson to adopt his old character's name (Flex Kavana) for just one more event.
Tazz: "What's MY watch sayin', Austin?" S.C.S.A.: "I dunno ... I don't speak Spanish." -------------------------------------------- V.K.M.: "Then, who's got the balls to step into the ring with me?" Ric Flair: "The next guy that knocks you on your ass!!" --------------------------------------------
JYD !!!! Oh right, he's dead.......The Freebirds !!!! Oh right, that won't work either.......Jake "The Milkman" Milliman !!!! Yeah, I know - him too.........then I would have to agree with KAMALA the Ugandan Giant
Stylin' and Profilin' - Custom Made from Head to Toe.....courtesy of Michael's of Kansas City
The Milkman isn't dead, is he? Howzabout Skinner, Bastion Booger, Damien Demento, Friar Ferguson, Hakushi, The Bodydonnas (w/crackwhore), Hercules, Outback Jack, or my number one pick: Jake "The Snake".
"-He's Touching Me. Batman is touching me. I'm dead, aren't I?-"
Hell yeah for Bret Hart all the way! But since hell is still hot, I say D Lo you-betta-reconize Brown. Wouldn't a D-Lo and Booker T heel tag team kick all levels of ass. Anything to get rid of Bossman.
Easy question: THE MOUNTIE! And I wouldn't want him for the Rumble just to get there and be thrown out by, say, Chucky Palumbo. NAY, The Mountie would have to win the whole shebang, go onto Wrestlemania, and finally get his long-deserved Undisputed World Title! Why? Because he's The Mountie!
...Some fear the Pink... ...But many fear....THE MOUNTIE! (He's handsome, he's brave, and he's strong, you know)
If the WWE can't put La Parka with his chair guitar over, then I'd fire all the writers. Hell, even in the darkest days of WCW, they still had great angles and gimmicks like El Kabong and Buff the Stuff.