Basically, I had this hour to kill while waiting for the GLOW documentary to start, so I was afflicted with my own version of March Madness and tuned in to the premiere of ABC's "Splash," which - well, it wasn't the worst hour of television ever, as various TV critics attempting to one-up each other would have you believe - but that's me damning the show with faint praise.
I was interested in seeing what Nicole Eggert looked like in 2013 (better than me in 2013) but only half of the competitors dived (dove?) on this episode - well, okay, "diving" really doesn't accurately reflect their nonexistent skill level.
The judging - I should probably put THAT in air quotes as well - was incomprehensible, and Keshia Knight-Pulliam was really jobbed. Clearly, racism at work. Or she wasn't old and/or fat enough to stick around...I guess with her gymnastics background, the prospect of having someone who may actually improve from week to week was too much to bear and she had to be railroaded off at her first chance.
Kathryn Webb is actually that hot, yes, I don't think anyone was surprised by that. Wise move to have her in the diving half this week. Nice suit. (By which I mean, "nice ass." This was a good show for asses.)
I love Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. He had no business not being eliminated this week.
I love Louie Anderson. He also had no business not being eliminated this week. Both Louie and Kareem wore wetsuit-looking contraptions that ensured I would not be able to make qualitative assessments of their asses. (ass-essment, yes, I see what I did there.)
I have never heard of the olympic skiier who got the top score of the week, but I am pretty sure he should have been athletic enough to not attempt a feet first dive.
Finally, somehow I missed FOX' "Stars In Danger: The High Dive" back in January, so sadly I cannot make any comparisons beyond "I did not watch that one and I watched this one."
Tuesday is usually a dead zone for me unless there's a good NBA game on, so I reckon I'll watch this at least next week to see the other five competitors (again, looking forward to Nicole Eggert, but also to Ndama-- Ndam-- to Suh - and NOT looking forward to the 4'2" Chuy Whoever)
Finally, I found out while performing research for this post (ha) that this series was taped at the pool of THE Riverside Community College. This now means that RCC can sport a greater claim to fame than "the school that UCR makes fun of." And that's surely a joke that you would probably only read in a review by me, so I'm glad you made it to the end of this post.
I only saw the previews and what Jimmy Kimmel made fun of. Louie Anderson trying to get out of the pool (just a minute of TV time) was unbearable. And The dive Abdul-Jabbar made was totally missed. You must be a train wreck enjoyer. Fortunately, for me, Tuesdays is a favorite night of TV with the two NCIS shows.
We'll be back right after order has been restored here in the Omni Center.
That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms, I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy - Swift
I saw very little of this (when the Rangers went into a commercial and nothing was happening on RAW), but what I did see was Louis Anderson saying he went up to the 23-foot board for the troops. I'm not sure whether that was the cheesiest thing ever or the slyest parody of celebritiy banter ever.
Those are typical HK numbers. They are on their 11th season. I don't know how much more yelling the audience will take.
Short of putting actors among the chefs to add to the "drama" (which I think they already did this season, and in a previous season where a "chef" challenged Ramsay to a fistfight), I don't know what they can do to shake things up to lure new viewers in. Ramsay has four shows on Fox. I think America is Ramsay'ed out.
Kitchen Nightmares, Hell's Kitchen, that hotel show, ???
"Tattoos are the mullets of the aughts." - Mike Naimark
"Don't stop after beating the swords into ploughshares, don't stop! Go on beating and make musical instruments out of them. Whoever wants to make war again will have to turn them into ploughshares first" - Yehuda Amichai
Hell's Kitchen is still must-see TV for me but I swear, the Chef Excellence cameo last week and the self elimination of his "handler" this week pretty much makes it seem as though its jumped the shark.
My wife and I were joking around thinking how cool it would be for the last and second last place perfomers from seasons 1-10 to make up the cast for next year, but not have Ramsey even know until the first episode.
Originally posted by OliverHell's Kitchen is still must-see TV for me but I swear, the Chef Excellence cameo last week and the self elimination of his "handler" this week pretty much makes it seem as though its jumped the shark.
I'm convinced Gina was an actor to start shit with the girls. She avoided all prep in episode 2, showed she didn't how the proper way to cook scallops, and then quit before the wall-climb in episode 3. We only have the editing and Ramsay's word that anything she cooked was "good."