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28.3.24 0930
The W - Pro Wrestling - I think we found a replacement for CRZ!
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DirtyMikeSeaver
Bockwurst








Since: 19.5.02
From: Toronto

Since last post: 1592 days
Last activity: 1592 days
#1 Posted on
Jim Hellwig has decided to bless us with his words of wisdom:

Hello warriors. Happy Halloween. Thank you again for all the great e-mails which I have received from people all over the world. Many of those who write reveal by the context of their inquiry that they have not taken the time to find their answer waiting for them on a post I have already made. Some of those inquires are redundant. I do not spend my time answering them.

For the last few months -- since the time of finishing the project of building a Warrior Home, which, as I said in my 06.06.02 post, I had been long been wanting to participate in -- I have busy practicing and polishing my speaking and debating in public, and developing a promo package to get out the word that I am available for speaking engagements. I have also been in the studio putting a talk radio demo together.

Beginning Nov. 1 I will be writing a column every day -- except Saturday and Sunday -- throughout the month. These In-One-Page posts I will be making will have nothing to do with wrestling, directly. Although, if something interesting comes to me in an email -- an industry happening or career request -- I may address it. They will be more about something topical, something happening in the news -- about culture, politics, education, etc. I have been following, and writing essays on, these topics for a long time. Speaking and debating on these subjects is where a great deal of my future lies. The post will be posted by 7 pm EST.

I do this for two reasons. One, to develop the habit. Two, what I am thinking and have on my mind is where my future lies.

Just to put it to rest -- I had in that same post of 06.06.02 spoke of exploring independent wrestling gigs. Without pointing specifically to any of those out there promoting or participating as talent, Ultimate Warrior as a persona does not fit the independent profile and, I, as the man I am today, would find intolerable the likely prevalent locker-room mindset.

I intend to keep using the Ultimate Warrior character as I have been, when I go out and speak to young kids or in specific UW-costumed appearances. But the stage in those instances is not set for wrestling.

I could write about the industry. Frankly, better than anyone else. Oh no, here comes that nasty, despicable Warrior self-esteem....

If you read a month’s worth of what all the other pundits have to say, you can objectively find that they have no position. (When I need a good laugh, and a reminder of how great it is that I have the sense of self-worth to stay out, I go look for myself.) In fact, in the course of one article they have reversed their “expert” position a number of times. They are the type of people who cannot even judge whether they like cold water with ice or iceless cold water.

The final conclusion is: They are all parasitic hypocrites. Both afraid of and angry at their host. Condemning, complimenting and condoning in one breath. Not one thought, not one word, not one opinion would exist if not for the blood, sweat, toil and, often, tears of others. People like that do not have mirrors in their house. Their way of surviving is too ugly a reflection for them to really want to see. On this day especially significant, “UGLY” like this need not wear a mask.

Who am I? Just your dumb muscleheaded wrestler figuring it all out, that’s who.

I don’t watch WWE TV programming. But here is the summation of it all:

Even those who keep watching think it sucks.

You don’t get that? Say it again?

Even those who keep watching and keep watching and keep watching and keep watching and keep watching think it sucks.

You get it, now? Good. Good student. Five extra minutes of recess for you.

Always Believe, Warriorman outta here.


You know, I'm know I'm gonna come off as being petty and jealous, but it really bothers me that this guy is rich. However, I AM anticipating hearing him talk on politics and education. In fact, every Tuesday, instead of getting the RAW recap, let's just get The Warrior's take on The Jihad or Why Kids Aren't Learning?



By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."

ESPN's Bill Simmons
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PeterStork
Sujuk








Since: 25.1.02
From: Chicagoland with Hoosiers, or "The Region"

Since last post: 3290 days
Last activity: 3053 days
#2 Posted on
One cannot replace Zed, one can only follow him.



{ exit 670 dot com } - Oh, it's true

I *heart* Lorelai Gilmore

Gugs
Bierwurst








Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

Since last post: 3962 days
Last activity: 3090 days
#3 Posted on
Well said, Peter.



Why do I watch? Because every episode has the potential to be the best one ever, and I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna miss that one after sitting through this shit.
mountinman44
Sujuk








Since: 8.5.02
From: San Diego, CA

Since last post: 4695 days
Last activity: 3010 days
#4 Posted on
It kills me that this guy is still around. Living the gimmick. Warrior once again lost me around the host part. Man, I'm glad he's gone. His promos made more sense.



"Don't feel bad. I've been wrestling wolves since you were on your mother's teet!" -- Groundskeeper Willie
Parts Unknown
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Darkenwood

Since last post: 1763 days
Last activity: 1448 days
#5 Posted on
I still find it disconcerting that he can do anything but grunt, spit and raise his arms above his head. Seeing him speak like a (semi) normal human makes me feel...weird...



"That's how you become great, man: you hang your balls out there." - The dorky Kinko's clerk on Jerry Maguire
Torchslasher
Knackwurst








Since: 17.1.02
From: South F’n Carolina

Since last post: 45 days
Last activity: 3 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.44
I like how Warrior suddenly doesn't want to do indy gigs because of the lockerroom and because of his character not fitting in. Gee, I thought it was because he was charging an exoberant rate and nobody could match his asking price. But no, it's his pride.

I also enjoyed the first paragraph where he thanks people for all the great email and then proceeds to bash them for basically not reading every single post he has ever done to find their answer.

I'd rather have Goldberg than this over-inflated bag of self-important shit.



"Oh, a handful of change. I guess I can use this to go...um...buy some candy. So thank you for adding a step to my Halloween process"- homestarrunner

*I* will always remember the RFM Club!
fuelinjected
Banger








Since: 12.10.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 6706 days
Last activity: 6706 days
#7 Posted on
Goldberg's just got an ego, there's something far worse wrong with Warrior. All those drugs in the 90's really fried his brain.
DJ FrostyFreeze
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: Hawthorne, CA

Since last post: 137 days
Last activity: 137 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.95

    Originally pulled from the Ultimate Warrior's buttox
    Many of those who write reveal by the context of their inquiry that they have not taken the time to find their answer waiting for them on a post I have already made. Some of those inquires are redundant. I do not spend my time answering them.


So after all THAT, he's suddenly concerned with how he spends his time?! And who's he calling "redundant"?!

AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHell.



I cant think of anything to put here
I wish I could work the random images thingy.
The Amazing Salami
Sujuk








Since: 23.5.02
From: Oklahoma

Since last post: 7231 days
Last activity: 7231 days
#9 Posted on

    Originally posted by PeterStork
    One cannot replace Zed, one can only follow him.


Oh puke.



"You're always 17 in your hometown." - Cross Canadian Ragweed
dskillz
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Houston Texas

Since last post: 6643 days
Last activity: 6348 days
#10 Posted on
I couldn't get past "Warrior Home". Is that a place for all of "One Warrior Nation"? Talk about living your gimmick, that is unbelievable.



January 4th 1999 - The day WCW injected itself with 10 gallons of Liquid Anthrax...AKA...The day Hogan "Defeated" Nash to win the WCW title in front of 40,000.
Mr. Boffo
Scrapple








Since: 24.3.02
From: Oshkosh, WI

Since last post: 3895 days
Last activity: 3856 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.44
Can you take the rainbow out of the sky and put it in your pocket? Can you tell a winter breeze, "Hey, please shut up for a moment"? No, such is .. CRZ.



DarrylTheHitman
Potato korv








Since: 21.9.02
From: Kitimat, British Columbia, Canada

Since last post: 6724 days
Last activity: 22 days
#12 Posted on
I might be wrong but at the parasitic host part, I believe he was comparing the IWC and WWE to parasites feeding off a host. Without a host, parasites would die. Without WWE (or perhaps he meant wrestling in general) IWC reporters and columnists would have nothing to work with. He's implying that ICWites are angry with WWE for putting out crap TV but also implying that they're afraid to piss them off too much--what little access they do get to WWE might be get cut off as a result. Maybe I'm wrong but that's my take on it. Personally, I hope Warrior runs for president against Ventura someday--just to hear the debates--maybe toss Hogan in there too since he was gonna run back in 98 (I know he wasn't really gonna do it but humor me).

(edited by DarrylTheHitman on 1.11.02 2255)


Viral Platypus
Longanisa








Since: 17.7.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 6882 days
Last activity: 6861 days
#13 Posted on

    Originally posted by PeterStork
    One cannot replace Zed, one can only follow him.


Perhaps a better phrase would be:

One can replace CRZ, but not displace CRZ.

Because CRZ is like Karma. It is eternal.



The pen is mightier then the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
NotTripleH
Cotto








Since: 10.10.02
From: SF, CA

Since last post: 7771 days
Last activity: 7771 days
#14 Posted on
Personally, I've already replaced CRZ with an electric toster. Sure it doesn't recap but er.......... There was a joke here. Can some one think of it?

It seems a shame that so many people seem to not like the Ultimate Warrior, when he seems like such a nice guy with morals. If he was booking the WWE we wouldn't have gotten the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club or the Katie Fick and/or Vick murder and/or vehicular homicide and/or homicide and/or accidental death and/or rape and/or necrophilia angle. Sure we might have gotten something else. I'd like to see the Ultimate Warrior back in the WWF and/or and/or in the WWE as long as he pays back thejob to poor Triple H. ..



Hogan's a good guy.
Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 1927 days
Last activity: 1496 days
#15 Posted on
Do you ever wonder if the Warrior just does all of this as a huge prank? Maybe we just don't get the joke.



I was born in a manger, like that other guy. You know, he wore a hat?
OlFuzzyBastard
Knackwurst








Since: 28.4.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 1819 days
Last activity: 995 days
#16 Posted on
I, for one, can't wait to hear Warrior's take on the midterm elections.



"But the funniest thing was, when I was leaving the bay
I saw three ships a-sailin', and they were all headed my way
I asked the captain what his name was, and how come he didn't drive a truck
He said his name was Columbus, I just said 'Good luck'. "
---"Bob Dylan's 115th Dream"
VK Wallstreet
Goetta








Since: 18.6.02
From: New York, NY, USA

Since last post: 7783 days
Last activity: 7781 days
#17 Posted on

    Originally posted by Viral Platypus
    Perhaps a better phrase would be:

    One can replace CRZ, but not displace CRZ.

    Because CRZ is like Karma. It is eternal.

Who's CRZ?



Rip says death is too good for you. Rip says the worms are too good for you. Rip says the maggots would choke on your rotting flesh.
DarrylTheHitman
Potato korv








Since: 21.9.02
From: Kitimat, British Columbia, Canada

Since last post: 6724 days
Last activity: 22 days
#18 Posted on
Out of sight, out of mind?



Viral Platypus
Longanisa








Since: 17.7.02
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Since last post: 6882 days
Last activity: 6861 days
#19 Posted on

    Originally posted by VK Wallstreet
    Who's CRZ?


He was a humanitarian, a patriot, and a loyal friend, provided, of course, he really is dead.

- Voltaire



The pen is mightier then the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 445 days
Last activity: 167 days
#20 Posted on
The Zed that can be told
is not the eternal Zed.

"The Tao of Zed" -- I like that!



    Originally posted by Big Bad
    Do you ever wonder if the Warrior just does all of this as a huge prank? Maybe we just don't get the joke.
Oh, I do hope so!
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I would say yes and no but it was pretty amuzeing. Even my wife got a laugh. Why shouldn't Triple H get more mic time Cena sucks on the stick and I will ignore the obvious joke there. Who are you Joey Styles?
- LanceJr, Raw: 13 March 2005 (2006)
The W - Pro Wrestling - I think we found a replacement for CRZ!Register and log in to post!

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