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The W - Pro Wrestling - Hulk Hogan is a Cancer!
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Professor Von Snoot
Weisswurst








Since: 28.3.02
From: Austrailia

Since last post: 4526 days
Last activity: 4524 days
#1 Posted on
It is true. Hulk Hogan is a cancer. Perhaps the only true words to escape Vince McMahon's filthy lips was his calling Hulk Hogan "poison". Indeed he is, as he was one of the major factors which led to WCW's death.



As a true fan of wrestling and not the cartoonish clumsy slapshtick that Hulk Hogan represents, it is my lifelong mission to end Hulkamania once and for all.



Hogan is a jealous backstabbing Son of a Bitch. He manipulates the backstage politics like no other. Hogan "made wrestling"? BULLSHIT! Hogan can't wrestle. Hogan made "sports entertaiment". Well, Vince did that but Hogan embodies it. What a joke. Hulk does 2 or 3 moves and 2 of those he misses half the time. The poor suckers he's facing have to sell it though.



Think about it. When was the last time Hogan had a good match? Can't, huh. The last great match he had was against Ric Flair, perhaps the only person talented enough to get a decent match out of Hulk Hogan. Don't give me the Wretlemania 18 match, it sucked. It was partly good on The Rock's end but Hogan stunk as usual.



Hogan as a babyface again. Give me a break. At least when he was heel, the announcers didn't treat him like he was their lover when they commented. Listening to McMahon, Monsoon, Schavone, Jim Ross, etc, etc, talk about Hogan when he was a face was so nauseating. It made me sick and made me question their sexual preference. The man sucks, ok, he has no talent whatsoever. To those mentioned above including Eric Bischoff, Ed "Butt Nugget" Leslie, Jimmy Hart, and assorted ilk, I will say this, and this will shock them...HOGAN IS NOT GOD!



Hogan ducked Bret Hart his entire career. Hogan talks dreamily about Andre the Giant passing the torch but when the time came for Hogan to pass the torch to Bret, he refuses. Instead he handpicks Yokozuna and drops the title in a cockamamy fashion with Cornette shooting flame into his eyes with a faulty camera ( should have bought a Japanese camera ). Yokozuna, God rest his soul, actually could wrestle despite being extremely overweight. Hulk Hogan in top physical shape can't do anything remotely athletic.



Hollywood Hogan? Hollywood? Why? Because he was in some horrible B-movies? Movies which failed to make big money at the box office and were torn apart by critics ( and rightfully so ). Hogan with the ugly inhuman orange tan. If he's Hollywood, than you can have it, thank you.



Hulk Hogan has no talent. Hulk Hogan has no heart, has no soul. One day, Hogan, when you're burning in Hell, you'll think back at your pathetic joke of a life, and in your delusional twisted mind, you'll think it was all worth it. Well, Hogan, to us who like REAL wrestling, to those young wreatlers who have 100 times the talent you have that you kept down because of your jealousy, seeing you burn in Hell for eternity will be worth it. It will make up for every stinker of a main event you had. Every time we saw you do that stupid dance. Every time you flaunted your lack of talent. Every time you polluted our TV screens with your ugly mug and cliched promos. It will be worth your eternal torment.

(edited by Professor Von Snoot on 27.3.02 2313)
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Since: 22.3.02
From: Weymouth, Ma

Since last post: 89 days
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#2 Posted on
Dude insane rambling hate RULES!!!



HUH?
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Since: 11.1.02
From: Silicon Valley, CA

Since last post: 4530 days
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#3 Posted on
I officially set the over/under of Von Snoot getting banned at . . . 12 hours.



This is the Slickster, talking to ya, understand???
Professor Von Snoot
Weisswurst








Since: 28.3.02
From: Austrailia

Since last post: 4526 days
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#4 Posted on
Banned, Huh?

That would so much like the Pussy administrators at the now defunct WCW chatroom. Say anything you want but don't blasphemy the name of Hulk Hogan or you're outta here. No wonder those losers went out of business. If they ban me, it'll be because, just like Eric Bischoff, Vince McMahon and countless others, they have sold their souls to Hulk Hogan.

Hulkamania is a poison which eats away at the brain till there is nothing but knee-jerk Hogan worship responses left. I pity the poor souls that Hulk Hogan has suckered. Those empty shells left over after Hogan, not unlike a leech, sucks their souls dry to feed his enormous ego.

Ban me and be damned.



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Dedicated to ridding the world of Hulkamania!
CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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#5 Posted on
Some Guy: I officially set the over/under of Von Snoot getting banned at . . . 12 hours.

Talking about when the administrators might ban someone isn't something I want people who *aren't* administrators to be doing in public.

Some Other Guy: Ban me and be damned.

Damn, I don't even KNOW you! Chill out.



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Since: 29.1.02

Since last post: 3951 days
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#6 Posted on
at least Hogan told the kids to stay in school, what are we too cool for school here or what?

CactusJayC
Pinkelwurst








Since: 26.3.02
From: Holyoke, Mass.

Since last post: 4399 days
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#7 Posted on

    Hulkamania is a poison which eats away at the brain till there is nothing but knee-jerk Hogan worship responses left. I pity the poor souls that Hulk Hogan has suckered. Those empty shells left over after Hogan, not unlike a leech, sucks their souls dry to feed his enormous ego.

    Ban me and be damned.



...somebody needs a big boot and a legdrop, methinks.

That'll fix you right up.

(edited by CactusJayC on 28.3.02 0509)
Trineo
Mettwurst








Since: 19.3.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 4337 days
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#8 Posted on

    Originally posted by Professor Von Snoot
    It is true. Hulk Hogan is a cancer. Perhaps the only true words to escape... blah... blah... blah...


Ok, so you hate Hulk Hogan. Why, because he's not a good worker? Because he's bad for the locker room? Because he made a lot of people a lot of money and you were not one of them?

Hulk Hogan might not be the ideal person to have as the top man in any wrestling promotion anymore, but you have to face the facts... Hulk Hogan is synonymous with wrestling to about 90% of the general population. Go out on the street and ask 10 people at random to name one pro-wrestler. I will bet at least 6 of them name Hulk Hogan. To say Hogan doesn't deserve the luxaries he gets now in wrestling companies is utter B.S. Do you think people should have booed Cal Ripkin his last season playing baseball? Hogan might not be the best thing for the long term (or even short term) future of the WWF, but the fans know and recognize him as the greatest pro-wrestler they've ever seen.

I'm not the biggest Hogan fan anymore but being intelligent enough to see what the fans want, making him a face is all the WWF could do. You might not like it, but Hulk Hogan is an icon. He is what adult wrestling fans grew up watching as children. I remember as a 10 year old child watching Hogan face the Ultimate Warrior. Looking back the match sucked, but when I was 10 I wasn't paying attention to the proper application of a head lock, all I cared about were two of my favorite wrestlers were getting in the ring and one was walking away with both Titles. I remember the two of them going 20 minutes and telling a great story leading up to Warrior avoiding the move that beat everybody up to that point. I remember Hogan handing the Title over to Warrior and Hogan leaving the ring as the proud Ultimate Warrior was celebrating in the ring. Like I said it wasn't a great match (even to the standards back then) but not everybody is "smart" to the business like you are.

And you know something, I've really grown tired of this guy and that guy ducked Bret Hart. Bret Hart, for however great he was... and brace yourself for this one... NEVER was going to carry the WWF banner for long. Vince McMahon loves big guys, and Hart wasn't one of them. The only reason Michaels got so much was because he was super over with the fans, something I don't remember if Hart was near as compared to Michaels. Yes, Hogan did figure out how to get into Vince's ear for the quick Yokozuna switch, but guess what that was Vince's fault for not being man enough to ride something out. It's not the first time he's done that (DiBiasi was supposed to win the Title at Wrestlemania 4) and will not be the last (remember the abortion of an angle with Austin and Benoit and Jericho last year). Hey, it was a terrible thing to do, but Hogan played his hand and won in that situation.

I'm on a roll, so I'll disect another paragraph of yours. The "Hollywood" Hogan gimmick was almost supposed to be a spoof on himself. Everybody knew his movies sucked, but in Hogan's mind (in kayfabe land) believed he was a movie star. Also, whether his movies sucked or not (hey, I never found anything wrong with No Holds Barred, but I also haven't seen it in 8 years) they were movies that made it to theaters, which is something 99% of Hollywood can claim.

And for the Hulkamania being a poison... Are you sure your real name isn't Bobby Heenan? Come on, you sound like Hogan did something to personally offend you. The guy is an entertainer, and from the way people have been reacting to him for the better part of 15 years, he is a damn good one. If you don't like his work, don't watch Smackdown. But if you think Hogan sucks, then you probably really hate Kevin Nash. So go and watch Lucha or some Puro. Hey, I'm not the biggest fan of the way the WWF is going right now, but as a wrestling fan, I enjoy watching all wrestling, no matter how bad it is.



Mr. Flugelman: Do you know what "nada" means?
Dusty: Isn't that a light chicken gravy?
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 12 min.
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
at least Hogan told the kids to stay in school, what are we too cool for school here or what?

Man, that post absolutely rules!

To Professor: I take it you're upset with Hulk Hogan. If you want rid of him - the best thing you can do is change the channel when he's on television. If the ratings plummet, so will his air time.

So long as he's bringing home the bacon to Vince, he'll be on TV.




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Since: 7.3.02
From: Baltimore, MD

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#10 Posted on

    Originally posted by Professor Von Snoot
    Banned, Huh?

    That would so much like the Pussy administrators at the now defunct WCW chatroom. Say anything you want but don't blasphemy the name of Hulk Hogan or you're outta here. No wonder those losers went out of business. If they ban me, it'll be because, just like Eric Bischoff, Vince McMahon and countless others, they have sold their souls to Hulk Hogan.

    Hulkamania is a poison which eats away at the brain till there is nothing but knee-jerk Hogan worship responses left. I pity the poor souls that Hulk Hogan has suckered. Those empty shells left over after Hogan, not unlike a leech, sucks their souls dry to feed his enormous ego.

    Ban me and be damned.



Where exactly does one go to sell their soul to Terry Bollea? Can I start purchasing souls myself? Because there's a SLEW of 17 year old girls who...well...*ahem*...mehaps I've said too much....



"And the lesson is...never try."-HJS

I can now say I'm associated with Tom Zenk. I can finally die happy.
Rudy
Polska kielbasa








Since: 3.1.02

Since last post: 4320 days
Last activity: 4309 days
#11 Posted on
Oh darn. I thought this was going to be a "What disease is your favorite WWF wrestler" thread.

I thought we'd have votes for Stephanie as Diarrhea, accompanyed with migraines, and Bossman as painful rectal itch.

Then maybe we could come up with a chart:

Lita = dehydration cramps

Scotty and Albert = polyps

Chris Benoit and Linda McMahon = sore throat

Big Show = gigantism

Kevin Nash = narcolepsy

Any number of guys = substance abuse

X Pac = leprosy

Buff Bagwell = Projectile vomiting followed by death.

Hey, this is fun! Great thread, Snoot!

Later, Rudy

Professor Von Snoot
Weisswurst








Since: 28.3.02
From: Austrailia

Since last post: 4526 days
Last activity: 4524 days
#12 Posted on
What a shame. Only Trineo's post is worth responding to.

Ask 10 people at random to name a wrestler. Are these people wrestling fans or just anyone walking down the street. I admit Hogan is the most well known wrestler to NON-FANS. Mention "wrestler" to me and Hogan is the last name that pops up. Mention "clown" and Hogan is the first to pop up.

I also grew up watching Hogan wrestle ( ok, stumble around punching and kicking ). I remember the Hogan vs. Warrior match. I also remember jumping up and down for joy after the finish. Not that Warrior is all that great because he's only slightly more talented than Hogan. But watching Hogan cry like the big fat baby in yellow diapers he is, now that was great.

Boo Cal Ripkin during his last season? Are you forgetting that Cal Ripkin actually HAD talent. There is no comparison to Hogan.

As far as being jealous of Hogan. Why? The money? Drug dealers make tons of money and I'm certainly not jealous of them. If I were to be jealous of anyone in professional wrestling, it would be Ric Flair. That man has talent. And he has a spine. Did you ever see Hogan stand up to any promoter the way Flair did to Bischoff ( and I'm not talking about the scripted angles, so don't bothering pointing those out, morons )? So McMahon got rich off Hogan. So what. If money is the parameter for jealousy, there are lots of people richer than Hogan to be jealous of.

And Trineo, your last paragraph proves you are a moron. My real name Bobby Heenan? Give me a break. Bobby Heenan hated Hogan onscreen but in real life Heenan is one Hogan's drooling butt buddies. His little cadre of worshipping slugs include Ed "Butt Nugget" Leslie, Gene Okerlund, Jimmy Hart, Brian Knobs and other assorted insignificant jobbers. People who ride on his red and yellow coattails.



(edited by Professor Von Snoot on 28.3.02 0859)
----------------- Dedicated to ridding the world of Hulkamania!
SerWolfe
Landjager








Since: 11.1.02
From: st louis

Since last post: 4151 days
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#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
You know insulting people is a wonderful way to get your point across.....

Hogan is not the greatest wrestler. Everyone knows that. But he is a good story teller. And that's why he has fans.

By the way did you ever tell us who the source was for those statements you made about Hogan being at Owen's funeral?



I am the JOBBER TO THE STARS. You better remember that.
Mike Sweetser
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Seattle, Washington

Since last post: 3022 days
Last activity: 2914 days
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#14 Posted on
Somebody here needs to take a deep breath and stop taking themselves so goshdarn seriously.

Sheesh.

Mike



Professor Von Snoot
Weisswurst








Since: 28.3.02
From: Austrailia

Since last post: 4526 days
Last activity: 4524 days
#15 Posted on
Again, Hogan is a "storyteller". Is that what they call talentless bums in the U.S.? Hogan is a storyteller? That is the most laughable thing I ever heard. That is also the sorriest excuse I ever heard for Hogan's idiocy. Can you explain what is meant by Hogan being a "storyteller"? Do you even know what you mean? Hogan isn't exactly well known for his ring psychology.

You want a source for the Owen Hart funeral data? The Wrestling Observer for one. But even more so, even before I read it there, I saw it myself, personally, on the news. That man is a jackass!





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Since: 13.3.02
From: Loveland, OH

Since last post: 2518 days
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#16 Posted on
"Mention "wrestler" to me and Hogan is the last name that pops up."

Just thought that it was funny that every post you've made on this "WRESTLING" forum has been about a man that you don't even think of when you thing of "WRESTLING".

Since you mentioned "clowns" too, lets use a little parable. P.T. Barnum II runs a circus. He employs 60 clowns. Bubbles Benoit, Fufu Guerrero, and Bobo Jericho are talented clown school graduates. They have impecable timing. Their pratfalls are masterpieces of the art. Another clown, say...Mulk Mogan didn't go to clown school. He can't even apply his make-up properly. He has no proper sense of timing. Of the four, who is P.T. Barnum going to put out in front the audience the longest? The one who makes the audience laugh the hardest. That clown is Mulk Mogan.



"Your mother ate my dog!"

"Well...not all of it."
SerWolfe
Landjager








Since: 11.1.02
From: st louis

Since last post: 4151 days
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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
Professor have you even watched any of Hogan's ppv matches? Or his other matches? He does tell a story in the ring.... I mean the guy takes a beating.... looks like he's going to lose... then hulks up.... we all grew up with this... and it went way over with the fans. Now how is that bad storytelling!

Nice parable astrobstrd. Entertaining!



I am the JOBBER TO THE STARS. You better remember that.
Freeway
Scrapple








Since: 3.1.02
From: Calgary

Since last post: 243 days
Last activity: 3 days
#18 Posted on
Well, let me tell a story, a story about a boy who grew up watching wrestling on Saturday mornings with his dad. (That's me! The story's about me, okay?!) We always watched WWF Superstars and whatnot together, and now we watch pay-per-views...but the guys from 92-95 are the guys my dad and even my mom (WHO NEVER WATCHED) knows. Randy Savage, Razor Ramon...but most of all, Hulk Hogan. Hogan and Rock are two of a kind. They're not wrestlers, they're not actors, THEY'RE ENTERTAINERS. DAMN YOU, VON SNOOT, because when you call Hogan a cancer, you're damnening my childhood memories...and DAMNIT, HE'S STILL ENTERTAINING. WHATCHA GONNA DO, VON SNOOT, WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU? Cry like a six-year old girl by the sounds of it... If Chris Benoit is Wrestling, Hulk Hogan is Sports Entertainment...and that's a-okay with me, brother.



Holden: Judging by the buzz, that movie's gonna make some serious bank.
Jay: What buzz?
Holden: The internet buzz.
Jay: What the f*ck is the internet?
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Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2173 days
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#19 Posted on
I fail to see how anyone can consider a man who has been able to re-invent his popularity over and over again despite today's insistence upon workrate talentless.

Hogan OBVIOUSLY knows what he's doing.



Two hot dogs, a six pack and a PPV or Wrestling tape. What more could a guy possibly need?!?!

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Since: 26.3.02
From: Mastic, NY

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#20 Posted on

    Originally posted by Professor Von Snoot
    Again, Hogan is a "storyteller". Is that what they call talentless bums in the U.S.? Hogan is a storyteller? That is the most laughable thing I ever heard. That is also the sorriest excuse I ever heard for Hogan's idiocy. Can you explain what is meant by Hogan being a "storyteller"? Do you even know what you mean? Hogan isn't exactly well known for his ring psychology.

    You want a source for the Owen Hart funeral data? The Wrestling Observer for one. But even more so, even before I read it there, I saw it myself, personally, on the news. That man is a jackass!




Actually, Hogan is a master of ring psychology. He is quite possibly the best ever.

Let's take a look at Hogan vs. Andre from Wrestlemania III. Andre assaulted Hogan's back with bearhugs and what not, but Hogan was determined to slam the Giant as an expression of triumph - once he body slammed the big man, even if he lost the match, it could be seen as a moral victory. The fans desperately wanted to see him slam the Giant, since Hogan built this anticipation himself, and when he finally delivered the slam, they not only cheered, they knew the match was over. That, my friend, is psychology.

Another smaller example is the WM X-8 match with the Rock. Hogan hits a backrake and the audience pops. Watch his face, and you can see a lightbulb go off in his head. He hits a second one, this time exaggerating his motions a little more, and the crowd pops louder. He makes the third one extra grandiose, and he gets a climactic pop.

These are all very elementary examples of basic ring psychology and ways to keep a crowd engaged in a match, wrestling's primary function.

Go back to school, Professor.



Giant Baba is a sexual icon.
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actually...it's not all their fault, they told Owen he didn't have to do it, but he did.
- LennyAaronRoxx, Owen... (2003)
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