You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.
"I think I just wanted to say "Ass Pirate"." (Guru Zim)
Hopefully, the title won't be too much of a giveaway. Manchester United done punched their ticket into the UEFA Champions League seimifinals with one hell of a second leg. They killed AS Roma dead, winning 7-1 (soccernet.espn.go.com). Michael Carrick and Cristiano Ronaldo racked up two goals each, Man U was up 4-0 at halftime, and led 6-0 before AS Roma got on the goal (Daniele De Rossi's 69th-minute strike). Amazingly, stat-wise, it wasn't that big of a blowout; the Mancs outshot Roma 23-21 (12-7 shots on goal), and Roma had a 54-46% edge in possession. Haven't watched it yet, but I'd imagine it was ridiculous.
(Liverpool, I fully expect you to do the same to PSV Eindhoven tomorrow.)
This is one of those stories that's so bizarre, it's shocking to see if it's true. This is the kind of thing that creates real-life animosity. The only solution? Competitive eating TO THE DEATH! First man to keel over from a heart attack loses.