You wanted the best, you got... Out of Context Quote of the Week.
"I think I just wanted to say "Ass Pirate"." (Guru Zim)
Hopefully, the title won't be too much of a giveaway. Manchester United done punched their ticket into the UEFA Champions League seimifinals with one hell of a second leg. They killed AS Roma dead, winning 7-1 (soccernet.espn.go.com). Michael Carrick and Cristiano Ronaldo racked up two goals each, Man U was up 4-0 at halftime, and led 6-0 before AS Roma got on the goal (Daniele De Rossi's 69th-minute strike). Amazingly, stat-wise, it wasn't that big of a blowout; the Mancs outshot Roma 23-21 (12-7 shots on goal), and Roma had a 54-46% edge in possession. Haven't watched it yet, but I'd imagine it was ridiculous.
(Liverpool, I fully expect you to do the same to PSV Eindhoven tomorrow.)
TMZ breaks the story: Batista -- Ex-WWE Champ BOOKS 1st MMA Fight And his first fight is against RASHAD EVANS!!! Wait...no...that's Rashid Evans. My mistake! Best of luck to Big Dave. We'll be right here watching, I'm sure.