Just read on Lita's website that Team X-treme will be taken off TV for 6 weeks or so. The WWF is claiming it is a break and Lita is claiming it is "punishment" for lackluster effort and a badly worked feud. Whatever the case I guuess I have to agree that I liked them a lot more as a team than as quasi-full time singles competitors. I think given time to slowly branch out they might develop into viable singles but originally they got over by doing their work inside the ring as opposed to on the mic. If they want to climb back on the top of the heap they either need to return to their more exciting tag work or spend the 6 weeks taking acting lessons because as much as I loved TLC and the TIT matches, they haven't been putting that calibre of work on TV lately. (Not that any human could safely do so consistently) Maybe Jeff will go work with Billy on a gay angle or something.. oops that spot is already taken I guess. Any of you armchair bookers got a good idea for a return angle for these wunderkinder?
Hmm, maybe the Hardys (Hardyz?) aren't being punished, but are going to back to school. Namely, THE OLD SCHOOL. Those boys (boyz?) need a refresher course in How To Get Your Own Heat 101, and Talking 103 (Managers: Our Mouthpieces, Our Friends)
...Some fear the Pink... ...But many fear....THE MOUNTIE! (He's handsome, he's brave, and he's strong, you know)
Matt and Jeff come out, and Matt makes a speech about how he's changing his last name because he's so ashamed of having a name that rhymes with Marty. This is the only reason he's changing his name. However, Matt and Jeff continue on as a tag team.
Matt's new name? Well, after some consideration, and absolutely NO backstage skits, he changes his name to Tonkman. Of course, everybody is in an uproar over this.
Next Raw, It's Matt Tonkman/Jeff Hardy vs. the reunited Ron Simmons and Butch Reed, but instead of Doom, they are a zany potheaded duo calling themselves "The Black and Milds." The Black and Milds are working over Tonkman, when Hardy runs off through the crowds because he has to pee. Suddenly, Randy Orton, Bob Orton's son from OVW, runs in for the save. He, however, declares his name to be Randy Tonkman. Then, Mark Henry, Albert, Shawn Micheals, Al Snow, and Ludvig Borga all run to the ring. They help the Black and Milds to their feet, but then shake hands with Matt and Randy Tonkman. They all get on the mike, and declare themselves Tonkmans as well.
That's Matt Tonkman, Randy Tonkman, Ron Tonkman, Butch Tonkman, Mark Tonkman, Albert Tonkman, Shawn Tonkman, Al Tonkman, and Ludvig Tonkman. They call themselves the greatest family in wrestling, and all wear the new Tonkman t-shirt.
On Smackdown, we don't get any replay of the Tonkman family. However, to start the show, we have a new color man instead of Lawler. He's from Memphis too. He is...
He comes out to "Zipideedoodah", only backwards and at that "cool" tempo, so it sounds like something you'd hear in a bakery.
He talks about another legend, another man, the one true Tonkman.
Honky Tonk Man.
Honky Tonk Man comes out, and has words with Matt Tonkman. They declare there must be a fight for the name Tonkman/Tonk-Man/Tonk Man. All the Tonkmans stand behind Matt, and behind Honky Tonk Man is the nefarious couplings of Doinks 2 and 3, Muta, Sid Vicious, Lord Alfred Hayes, The Guy who opperated on the Rock's nipples, and Viscera. I can not stress ENOUGH the importance of Viscera.
When things get down and dirty, and it looks like things are gonna go straight to hell, Jeff Hardy comes back from the bathroom.
Sign in crowd: "What, did you fall in?"
He gets between both Matt and Honky, and then kicks Honky right in the gonads. He then turns and kicks Matt in the gonads. He screams out "TONKMAN ISN'T A REAL NAME!" Everybody else in the ring looks around, shrugs, and they all take turns kicking Honky Tonk Man and Matt Tonkman in the testicles.
This sets up a huge Diaper Match at SummerSlam between Matt Tonkman, Viscera, Jeff Hardy, and Tennessee Lee, Honky Tonk Man is your guest ref. Diaper has attitude this time around, Diaper is made out of bees.
Hey Lexus did have a funny post, but I feel like doing some serious armchair booking. So here goes...
Matt comes out on Raw and cuts the same goofy by the book promo that a Hardy always cuts......I'm gonna make a stir blah blah blah....crowd is indifferent. Jeff comes out on Smackdown and says the same. Crowd doesnt care.
On the next RAW, Edge and Bradshaw are going at it for the IC title. Edge is about to hit the Edge o cution, but Matt comes out with a pipe and clubs him, allowing Bradshaw to get the pin. Bradshaw is surprised, but he ll take an IC title win. Segment ends with Matt on the Stage pointing to Bradshaw and saying, you're next.
On Smackdown, it's Christian and Tazz for the Euro Title. Tazz locks in the Tazzmission, but before Christian can tap, Jeff comes out and clocks Tazz, allowing Christian to recover and hit the Unprettyer for the win.
Jeff and Matt continue their attacks over the next few weeks, never saying much and letting their actions do the talking. Lita tries to reason with Matt and tell him to stop cheating so others can win their matches. He calls her a hypocritical bitch and slaps her down. Jeff comes running in, and it looks like a face turn, but he decides to stomp on Lita and congratulates his brother for "shutting the bitch up".
Later in the show, Edge comes to Lita and tends to a cut left by the Hardy attack. She thanks him, and he vows to get revenge. Bradshaw enters and says that its time the Hardys got an asswhoopin. They form a partnership and it becomes obvious that Faarooq is out of the picture for awhile. The partnership is solidified when they are seen drinking Labatt Blue in the APA offices.
At the PPV, two matches are set: Matt vs. Bradshaw, and Jeff Vs. Christian with Tazz as guest ref. Matt looks like he will go over Bradshaw clean for the IC belt, but edge runs out and puts Matt's foot on the ropes after a Twist of Fate. Bradshaw recovers and wins the match. In Jeff's match, Jeff appears to be on his way to victory but Tazz crotches him when he goes up for a swanton. Christian gets the win, but since he's still a heel, Tazz chokes him out to make the fans happy. Later in the show, Jeff and Matt attack Lita, who was just watching the event backstage, but Bradshaw and Tazz and Edge run in for the save and the rare babyface beatdown.
Matt and Jeff are now established as nasty sneaky heels, and both of them win their straps at the next PPV.
Thats all i could think of. Any feedback positive or negative (im guessin it will be the latter cuz this is crap) is appreciated.
Cool booking Hit, but I will tell you what will happen...
Matt, Jeff, and Lita come back to TV like nothing ever happened. Lita and Matt are in the Love Zone and Jeff is still chicken chokin' to Trish posters. It isn't the greatest booking, but it is WWF 2002.
January 4th 1999 - The day WCW injected itself with 10 gallons of Liquid Anthrax...AKA...The day Hogan "Defeated" Nash to win the WCW title in front of 40,000.
Wonder if Taker beating the crap out of all three of them was like Bradshaw pounding Saturn - a sort of "you screwed up" message...
And I agree with dskillz, knowing the WWF right now, they'll completely ignore the feud and have them come back like nothing happened (including not selling any injuries as a result of Taker pounding 'em into goo)
Thanks for inspiring my own fantasy booking with the Boys... In an effort to get heat from the smart crowd, Matt and Jeff kidnap a cameraman and deliver and old school beatdown on Hot Newz in retaliation for the stunning exposes he reporets from his "inside" sources They follow this on Smackdown with the severe beating of a Scott Keith garnering a 7.5 rating among the smarts with a Neilson box.
Eh, whatever the reason, the Hardy's do need some time off. They are stale beyond belief. The Dudleys need a break too, but with them holding the belts and no teams ready to challenge, that ain't gonna happen.
Whatever the situation is, Lita should not have put this info on her site, becuase she'll probably get into even more trouble with the Fed - assuming, of course, that what Vince is doing is punishment in the first place. The Hardyz sure could use a break. Assuming it's true that Jeff no-showed a couple of shows, that's not exactly a smart thing to do. But, on the other hand, Vince wouldn't "punish" all three because of one person's mistake - at least, I sure hope not.
I know the beloved dictator isn't terribly fond of this kind of stuff so I beg forgiveness in advance from the management, but I picked up a pair of tickets earlier this week and there's only one of me. The extra ticket is for 3rd row, section B.