I cannot be the only one who followed Ophelia's response to "talk to Ophelia" with "get nailscissors" and "attack Ophelia with nailscissors."
"As far as my lack of professional courtesy and my obvious immature humor in referring to using your head as a pickle jar, well, I reserve my courtesy for those whom I respect. Your lack of personal integrity has given me much grief, and I find that thinking of your hollowed-out head sitting on top of my fridge and providing a safe haven for pickles is a comforting thought." -- the immortal Bill Mattocks
Well I don't know Infocom was... but you don't have to be too old to remember those games! I'm 18 and remember playing them on my good old Apple IIC when I was 8(?). God knows where I got the patience to play them when I was that young. Maybe it was because one of my 8" Space Quest got scratched and wouldn't work anymore :(
"Huard, gonna go back to throw the ball. Sets up, looks, throws towards the corner of the endzone...it is INTERCEPTED INTERCEPTED, THE DUCKS HAVE THE BALL! Down to the 35, the 40. Kenny Wheaton's gonna score! Kenny Wheaton is gonna score! 20, the 10, Touchdown! Kenny Wheaton on the interception, the most incredible finish to the football game!" Jerry Allen... 'Nuff Said