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The W - Movies & TV - HALLOWEEN SCREAMS 2008!
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Cerebus
Scrapple








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 10 days
Last activity: 13 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
Better late then never, I say!

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Why Hello!

You may remember that I’ve done this the past few years here, here, and here. Halloween is a great time to watch horror films. Actually, for me, ANY TIME is a great time, but for most people, October is the 'spooky' month when stores put out horror films really cheap to buy. My hope is that someone reads this and buys one or two or 31 or whatever and enjoy some or even all of these horror films as much as I do.

This is a special 'Seventies' edition this year. All the films were made in the Seventies, so that's what I'm calling it. The rating system (stolen somewhat from the great Chas Balun!), is as follows...

1 Skull = ‘GOOD FILM’
2 Skulls = ‘GREAT FILM'
3 Skulls = 'HOLY SHIT, THIS IS AN AWESOME FILM!'
4 Skulls = 'YOU MIGHT AS WELL KILL YOURSELF IF YOU DON’T SEE THIS FILM!'
Ugly Dog = 'OPEN TO INTERPRITATION'

Keep in mind that just because a movie deserves the dog, doesn’t mean to avoid it, because some of the worst films ever made have fans. Hell, if it’s listed here, you know I love it, so there you go. Some of these may not be available to purchase, so those will just have its IMDB page linked, but all others are available through the wonderful people over at AMAZON. { Sorry, you must be logged in to see this text! } If I in any way help you find a film you enjoy, or remind you of one you’ve seen before and had no idea what it was, let me know… now on with the show.

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5 Bambole Per La Luna D'Agosto (5 DOLLS FOR AN AUGUST MOON) (1970) - Mario Bava (DANGER: DIABOLIK, HATCHET FOR THE HONEYMOON) never seems to disappoint me. I don't think I've ever seen a bad film of his. This time, he does a variation on Agatha Christie's TEN LITTLE INDIANS, but with some gruesome deaths and some yummy lesbian sex thrown in. You gotta just love this director.



ALICE, SWEET ALICE (1978) - This is, I think, the only movie to get released three different times and each time under a different name. It was first released in 1976 as COMMUNION and then again in 1981 as HOLY TERROR. Strange. This film has a surprising amount a blood in it, which I love, but the film doesn't feel like a the type to be bloody, if that makes sense. It's more like a hitchcock film. It also gives us the first screen appearance of Brooke Shields (LIPSTICK JUNGLE, BLUE LAGOON)



ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK (Tutti I Colori Del Buio) (1972) - Satanism! Murder! Rape! Blood! All these things, generally, are what I feel make a great horror film. (Well, not necessarily the rape, mind you...) This film does indeed feature all these elements, but having sat through it a few times, I can say that it drags a little during much of this film. The last half hour, however, makes up for the dragging and really makes this a worthy film to own. Better then average acting, beautiful cinematography, and the crazy twists in the plot during the last half hour give this film a must see rating.


BUIO OMEGA (BEYOND THE DARKNESS) (1979) - Joe D'Amato, director of such classics (to ME!) as EROTIC NIGHTS OF THE LIVING DEAD and ANTHROPOPHAGUS, finally does a movie that isn't porn! Well, that is to say that it doesn't center around sex and is more story driven then the films he was making before this one. It's about a taxidermist whose girlfriend dies and he decides to dig up her body and 'live with it'. Yes, he does indeed sleep with it. Sick, sick film. It was made almost a decade before NEKROMANTIK.



THE CRAZIES (1973) - George Romero (DAWN OF THE DEAD) likes to make horror films with underlying societal meanings. (What's that now?) It means that his Zombies aren't really just Zombies or some bullshit like that; ME, I just wanna see some gross shit. This film was an allegory for the Vietnam War. The real reason to want to see it is for the little old lady who kills a soldier with her sewing needle.



DERANGED (1974) - Writer/Director Alan Ormsby is a guy responsible for quite a few decent films, among them are CAT PEOPLE, THE SUBSTITUTE, and MY BODYGUARD, just to name a few. This film was his first directing work. It's about the Ed Gein case, and a good majority of the people who actually worked on that case say that this is the best film made about it.



DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974) - A group of people in a secluded resort hotel and terrorized and killed by a small group of mental hospital escapees. This would normally sound kinda bland, but what if I tell you that the escapees are five small children around 10 to 12 years old? Huh? Does that sound interesting? Ok, lets add in that one of these kids is played by 13 year old Leif Garrett! There you go!



THE DEVILS (1971) - This is certainly one of Ken Russell's more 'colorful' films, and that says a lot from the man who directed TOMMY and LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM. THE DEVILS is about Cardinal Richelieu trying to take over France, and to do this, he needs to get rid of Father Grandier, who controls a key town that is heavily fortified. Richelieu accuses Grandier of being a Warlock in control of a devil possessed convent.



DON'T LOOK NOW (1974) - You've probably heard about this film because of the sex scene which is very explicit. Yeah, that's great, but I feel that isn't the best reason to see this film. Nicolas Roeg (THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH (The W at Amazon)) really made a genuinely creepy film here.



DRACULA Vs FRANKENSTEIN (1971) - Now THIS film really stinks, but it's like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE bad so it's really fun to watch. The last descendant of Victor Frankenstein is living in Venice Beach, California and he runs a house of Horrors. Count Dracula stops by one night and gives him the original Frankenstein Monster that just happens to have been buried at a local cemetery... in Venice Beach! The monster is revived and he is used to kill local businessmen who don't like having a House of Horrors around.



FEMMES DE SADE (xploitedcinema.com) (1976) - NOT FOR CHILDREN AT ALL! This hard core porn film centers on a just released from prison, horrible looking Frankenstein like man named Rocky De Sade who travels around San Francisco picking up whores and brutalizing them. In the end, the whores get their revenge at a massive S&M party they throw just for Rocky! ...again this film is NOT FOR CHILDREN!



THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION (1975) - Let's follow that one up with... another stinker! Giant spiders from another dimension are invading North Wisconsin via a Black Hole! The MST3K guys REALLY love director Bill Rebane's stuff because they also sat through his first movie MONSTER A-GO-GO. The effects are really not THAT bad.



MAGIC (1978) - Anthony Hopkins gives an excellent performance as Corky, a really bad magician who is given a wooden dummy named Fats and is suddenly a huge success. It turns out the Dummy is the one 'pulling the strings' (Hahaha... that was bad.) and Corky ends up killing people. Directed by Richard Attenborough (GANDHI, A CHORUS LINE) this really is a quite an excellent film.



THE MAN WHO HAUNTED HIMSELF (1970) - Remember the SEALAB 2021 episode 'LOST IN TIME' where Quinn and Stormy get beaten with lead pipes for being Doppelgangers? Well, this movie could possibly be where the writers got that whole idea from. Roger Moore gives his best performance ever here and really does a fantastic job.



THE MEPHISTO WALTZ (1971) - WOW, this is pretty damn cheap! This is an incredible film. Everything about it is perfect. The acting is great with Alan Alda (SWEET LIBERTY) and Jacqueline Bisset (WILD ORCHID). The music is fucking creepy and spine chilling thanks to composer Jerry Goldsmith. The directing is also quite good from the man who gave us the TV Remake of THE BAD SEED. Alda plays a pianist who is befriended by a much older and more famous pianist who happens to be a satanist who wants to transfer his soul into Alda's body so he can live longer. There is also a very odd cameo of a certain William Shatner mask that was latter used in another excellent film called HALLOWEEN.


PERVERSION (xploitedcinema.com) (1979) - Wow, this is my first time listing a 'Coffin Joe' film... that's odd. Anyways, this film is starring, written by, AND directed by Jose Mojica Marins, better known to people as Coffin Joe! Marins is Brazil's answer to Orson Welles (...or Ed Wood, take you pick, hahaha). Marins is a credible writer, a better actor, and a pretty damn good director. In this film he plays a millionaire who enjoys raping local women just for the fun of it. One of his victims takes him to court after getting her nipple bitten off and nothing happens to him, but the woman is made a laughing stock Then he meets a woman who forces him to change his ways and devote all his time and money on her before she lets him even touch her.



RABID (1977) - This fun, freaky little film is written and directed by David Cronenberg (NAKED LUNCH, THE FLY) and stars porn actress Marilyn Chambers { Sorry, you must be logged in to see this text! } , and together, they've put together a surprising great film here. The film is a very odd look at STDs, which makes Chambers the PERFECT person for this role.



THE RETURN OF COUNT YORGA (1971) - This is as much a sequel to COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE as EVIL DEAD II is a sequel to the first EVIL DEAD. It's basically the same movie but made with more money. This time, the vampire lives next door to a orphanage so he gets to kill little unwanted children, which is ALWAYS fun!



RITUALS (1977) - This Canadian made horror film is pretty good, but sadly, I don't think there's ever been a proper release of it. The longest I've seen it at is 1h40m and that's still missing about 10min or so of it's original length. An odd thing about that is that they cut out cursing, yet leave in the blood? Still, a good, creepy movie in the veil of THE BURNING or THE FINAL TERROR[.



THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1974) - This was the last Hammer 'Dracula' film. It was the companies last gasp at getting money off the pairing of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing as Count Dracula and Van Helsing.



SCHIZO (1976) - This is a Really good little slasher film directed by Pete Walker (FRIGHTMARE and THE FLESH AND BLOOD SHOW). It's about a woman who seems to be stalked by a guy and no one believes her until bodies start piling up around her. There is a nice little 'twist ending' that would make M Night Shyamalan wish he had written it.



SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM (1973) - This is, easily, one of the best Blacksploitation films ever made. You got Blacula, you got Pam Grier with an afro and you got a white director doing the exploiting. (Here, it's Bob Kelljan, the same director who gave us the COUNT YORGA films, mentioned above!) It's BLACULA people, what more do I need to say here.



SHIVERS (1975) - Here's another David Cronenberg film and it's another film dealing with sex and violence. Cronenberg seems to really love these subjects and thankfully he doesn't make any sucky films (with the exception of EXISTENZ which I hated!)



SQUIRM (1976) - Director Jeff Lieberman is responsible for a couple really great films. BLUE SUNSHINE and JUST BEFORE DAWN come to mind as both are quite excellent. Unfortunately, he's also responsible for writing the absolutely horrible THE NEVERENDING STORY III featuring Jack Black! SQUIRM is a good one though. It's about flesh eating worms!



THE THING WITH TWO HEADS (1972) - Poor Ray Milland, the seventies were not very good to him, work wise. He won an Oscar for THE LOST WEEKEND in 1945... a BRILLIANT film, and then he did pretty good for a number of years, but by the time the seventies came around, he was forced to act in shit films like FROGS! and this embarrassing stinker. It's about a racist bastard who gets his head transplanted on to a black man. Chaos ensues.



TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER (1976) - The next sentence you read is the only thing you need to know about this film to make you want to watch it. This film features a completely nekid, 16 year old Nastassja Kinski... 16 years old. There is also Christopher Lee sighting, but that isn't the reason to see this film at all.



ULTIMO MONDO CANNIBALE (JUNGLE HOLOCAUST) (1977) - Cannibals! Who DOESN'T love a good Cannibal film, right? Well, this one is pretty damn good. The plot is fairly simple; a plane has to make a emergency landing in a south Asian jungle and the occupants are forced to try to survive the jungle that is infested with dangerous animals and a tribe of cannibals. One passenger is taken right away during the night and another is captured. Here's where the film really shines, because with little or no dialog at all, we get a good 40 minutes of sheer hell with this poor guy trying to escape while being tortured. There's a wonderful scene where someone gets decapitated AND disemboweled! EXCELLENT!



THE VAULT OF HORROR (1973) - This wonderful little film is a sequel to TALES FROM THE CRYPT. Five hotel guests hop on an elevator and they all get trapped in a basement vault. They end up telling each other storys about death. This film, and TALES FROM THE CRYPT are both Rated PG and are spooky, but still mild enough for kids to watch.



WHO CAN KILL A CHILD (1978) - This is a hard one to tell you about. I really don't want to give away very much about, just in case someone wants to buy or watch it, but I can't NOT say anything about it. Well then. OK, there's this couple who take a boat to a small vacation island, and stuff happens. Horrible stuff. The great thing about this film is that it's on par with the original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and THE WICKER MAN, where you feel like someone punched you in the gut. This is the kind of film you will remember ten, twenty years from now while doing something and say "That was pretty fucking crazy!"



WHO SLEW AUNTIE ROO? (1971) - Wow, Shelly Winters really made a lot of movies where she plays a crazed killer. In this one, she plays a rich, crazy lady who kidnaps a little girl and her brother and keeps them in the attic with the remains of her own daughter. The little girl looks just like her dead daughter.



ZOLTAN, HOUND OF DRACULA (1978) - Hot Damn! First, animal lovers and card carrying members of PETA should go ahead ignore this movie. Trust me on this one. ,,,OK, now, what you got here, is a dog that was bitten by Dracula. (Yeah, I know...) This dog and one of Dracula's servants come to America in search of Dracula's last descendant. The dog is the leader here, but don't let that fool you, cause there is still violence taken upon other dogs, such as when Zoltan attacks a female German Sheppard and her new born babies! WOW! Seriously, where the hell do people come up with the shit?


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That's better.


(edited by Cerebus on 14.10.08 2312)

Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
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Sometimes it feels like The Simpsons just tries to hard to be relevant and latch onto whatever the latest craze is, making the entire episode a one-note joke. This felt like one of those episodes.
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