Well, early results are in, and it appears people don't hate me. That's good. Hopefully I'll do it again next Monday, but I'm NOT doing more than one a week. Now is the time in the middle of the week right before Survivor Series for me to elaborate on my....dun dun dun.....Tournament of Rulingness!
Here we go. First of all, we need Shawn Michaels to win the Elimination Chamber match, walking out as the World Heavyweight Champion. He can then forfeit the title, because he is after all a near-cripple. This prompts Bischoff to think up a 32-person single elimination tournament culminating at the Royal Rumble for the World Heavyweight Championship. Included in the tournament would be, well, 32 Raw superstars, including everyone from Triple H to Justin Tolerable; D'Lo Brown to Rob Van Dam. The Raw main event at Armageddon could be all of the eliminated superstars plus one who's still in the tournament competing for that person's spot in the tourney. At the Royal Rumble, we'd be left with 4 superstars: Triple H, Booker T, Chris Jericho and Rob Van Dam, with the semifinals being Booker vs. Y2J and RVD vs. HHH. This can be the blowoff to the feuds that have been simmering for a while between these four men, assuming they don't just jumo the gun and do it at SS, which they probably will. Anyway, Booker T can beat Jericho, while Triple H goes over RVD. Then, the Royal Rumble (or the Raw Royal Rumble if they have two) can be the 30 superstars who were eliminated in the tournament competing for a shot at the champion come WrestleMania. The winner of the Rumble should be, I think, wither Jericho or RVD. Let's say Jericho because I wanna turn him face. So Jericho wins the Royal Rumble, and who wins the showdown between HHH and Booker T? People are gonna hate me for this...The Game prevails. For the following two months, Jericho can bring up all the times he and Triple H have fought, and HHH has cheated to win, or downright made the loss never happen. Finally, a triumphant Chris Jericho shall reign supreme at WrestleMania, becoming the World Heavyweight Champion through a grand scheme of tournaments, second chances, third chances, and plain old skill.
Or they can just have Triple H pin everybody 10 seconds after they come in.
Well, let's see what would happen if each one of the competitors were to win.
TRIPLE H IWC stages riot, effigy of Stephanie McMahon burned. Scott Steiner brought in as feasible threat; maybe he wins, maybe he doesn't.
CHRIS JERICHO Christian elevated to main event status, if only for short time. Booker T forced to team with Goldust for a while.
KANE Um....Scott Steiner benefits from the "big man beats bigger man to look big man look real good" school of thought.
ROB VAN DAM Paul Heyman has heart attack. Um....RVD says "Dude."
SHAWN MICHAELS My big tourney idea doesn't happen. Triple H is World Champion by Royal Rumble.
BOOKER T Insta-fued with Triple H and Scott Steiner. Most likely.
I know it's short this week, but next week I'll try to move on to some SmackDown! thoughts. Briefly, it rules. Angle and Benoit are co-God, with Guerrero acting as Vice-God. Bye now.
Why do I watch? Because every episode has the potential to be the best one ever, and I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna miss that one after sitting through this shit.
I really feel bad for never checking out those pants, they sound great. The boots sound pretty damn swell too, but I'll never be able to spot them. I always enjoy a wrestling column that brings something totally new to my attention.